Sezāru's Date
My name is Sezāru Ishiku. I’m 16 years old. I believe in taking care of others, and a filling diet and a rigorous morning routine.
In the morning, if the dishes are dirty, I’ll put on soothing music while I use a lemon-scented dish soap. I can wash a thousand now. After I rinse the dishes I use a specialized dishwasher with specialized soap.
In the bathroom I use a water activated toilet cleanser, then a honey almond freshener, and on the sink an exquisite gel scrub. Then I light an herb-mint candle which I leave burning for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my duties.
I always make breakfast with butter instead of vegetable oil, because vegetable oil isn't as filling. Then sugar, then lard, followed by a final usage of vegetable oil anyway, because nothing should go to waste.
There is an idea of Sezāru Ishiku. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity. Something illusory.
For I am The Architect.
And though I can hide my lustful gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense our visions are probably comparable, I simply... am beyond you.
"Hark! That stare... have you been spirited away by a foul demon!?"
"Huh?!"
Sezāru snapped out of his inner monologue. Where was he again? Oh, right.
He had agreed to help some of his sculptures--- uh, friends, with making chocolates. Not like he had a choice.
Where was he...? Who was he speaking too, again...?
Oh. The Café. And the cute little marble who worked there...
"Hah! Sorry, Akari. I must have dozed off. Where were we... Oh, mixing!"
Walking over to a bowl on the kitchen counter, it was no wonder Sezāru was so adrift in his thoughts; venom built up within him. He didn't WANT to be here.
Valentine's Day is difficult for Sezāru.
Oh, such a WASTE of my talents! If all the men in the world besides me just dropped dead... that would bring me such joy! But they just can't. Those bastards.
You see, Sezāru quite likes women. All of them. Within them, he sees perfection, ready to be "sculpted" into art. It's all he thinks about.
And, since it's all he thinks about, it's really all he cares about. And to him, this was a huge waste of his talents. Every minute spent making chocolates to be gifted to his... competitors, was a minute not making chocolate that could be enjoyed by a beautiful girl. And what's worse, he had once fallen for one of his competitor's tricks.
"Akari~, could you please get me the sugar?"
"Ah, the white sands of the Babylon! Of course, Grand Alchemist!"
Through the kitchen window, Sezāru couldn't help but glare at the being he most hated out of everyone in existence.
That revolting scum Makoto Nagai.
Drooling, face down on a table, that freak had done worse to Sezāru then just betraying him.
He betrayed art.
Sezāru's face contorted into disgust as he relived the terror of when he had learned of Makoto's nature.
His thoughts of the short time he lived in a perfect fantasy replayed in his mind.
Jackpot! A cutie who is even more of a waste of space than my sister, who I can pamper ALL DAY~!? I've never been luckier!!!
...Why was that cutie called: 'he'?
LIAR! DECIEVER! BLASHPHEMER! I'LL NEVER FORGIVE THIS AS LONG AS I LIVE!
...And so far, he hasn't forgiven him.
Sickening. I should poison that freak next time I have the chance.
Makoto audibly snored, as if he was coerced by the universe to mock Sezāru.
"Behold; the white sands of Babylon!"
"Why, thank you Akari~, and it's even all-natural~!"
Akari placed the bag of sugar next to Sezāru, whisking the chocolate mixture in the bowl, and he picked it up and added a large amount of it in. After that, he handed Akari a small piece of paper with several spices listed.
"Akari~, could you pretty please get me these ingredients, if you can? If you don't have them, it's no big deal."
He knew they weren't there. He had already surveyed her entire shop previously. He could just tell that his anger was boiling again and he didn't want her to see.
"Grand Alchemist... I have to say that you acts are beyond me! For what grand purpose are you adding these grand materials to your mixture!?"
Ugh. She's so weird. And that turns me on so much...
"Hehe! It's my secret recipe!"
There was no secret recipe. Well, there was, but that wasn't it.
You see, the white sands of Babylon were going to be quite... literal.
He had earlier replaced the sugar with real sand, and was going to RUIN Valentine's Day!
FOOLS! They are lucky that there is a chance of a fair maiden partaking in my delights..! The emetic poison was OH so alluring, but I have to guard the merchandise...
With Valentine's Day at the cafe ruined, he would blame it on the common local sugar manufacturers.
And there would be good reason for this.
Sezāru does not think small.
He thinks large.
He thinks in advance.
Previously, after more than a few trips to local sugar producers, large amounts of sand have been added into batches that most assuredly did not previously have sand.
With the sugar recall, who would the ladies have to rely on for their sweets on White Day...? That's right, Sezāru, who IMPORTS all of his! He would have a monopoly, and all of focus would be on him, the hero!
DING, DING!
Hmph. More visitors.
...Ooh~! And I like a few of those uncut gems~!
The cute little witch~...
My precious little astronaut~...
...and that card nerd who needs to hurry up and die.
...and that nosy priest--- WHAT!?
The priest bastard.
THAT priest bastard.
Yoji Ryoshi.
What was that damn perv doing here!?
I though he would try and get his damn candy privately or not at all...!
I-If he reads my mind...!
Akari, Amane, Haruhi... some of his favorites. If they even got a whiff of what he was planning, that would make so much hard work building trust come undone...
He had to escape.
His eyes darted around and he got an idea.
"WHAT!? Oh, no! I can't believe I forgot!"
Akari, who was still looking for spices, turned around in shock.
"G-Gah! Grand Alchemist! What did you forget!"
"Oh, I'm SO sorry. I promised my sister I would help her with something... regarding her boyfriend."
A thought flickered on Akari's face for a moment. She actually (vaguely) recalled Hifumi. Yes, Sezāru had invited several of the lovely ladies to his home for a party, and they had glimpsed one of his most prized pieces of art.
Dammit, Sezāru! You know she has no boyfriend (because she's all mine)! You slipped!
"Your bloodkin and her part betrothed?"
...Not sure how to respond to that. What a cute freak~.
"Yes... he broke up with her. S-She wants to give him a cake to try and make up."
Well, I do have a cake for her in the oven at home... but that's of course for a different purpose... close enough to throw off suspicion of lies, though...
"Oh, the Grand Alchemist making a potion of love!! How romantic...! Go, onwards! REPAIR such beauty!"
"Thanks, see you later~!"
Ha! I'll repair such beauty, alright.
Slipping out the front door of the kitchen, Sezāru hurried past the new guests, beaming a smile and speaking quickly.
"Hi-and-bye-my-sister-needs-me-so-I'm-sorry-to-say-that-I-really-must-go-enjoy-the-candy!!!!"
And for a second, he could've sworn that the priest glared at him.
Seeing right through him.
As Sezāru dashed through the front door, a single thought haunted him.
Does... does he know?
A second after Sezāru left the front door, Yoji sneezed.
"...Who ran by us just now? I was sneezing."
Amane had the answer.
"That was Sezāru. He's leaving to help his sister."
"Ah. Hope she's doing well."
Makoto snored, again.
Ugh! Not only do I need to mentally destroy my nemesis, I need to better the priest for this indignation! Curses!
Blindly running through the street, paranoically looking left and right, he ran straight into someone.
...She had soft boobs.
"GAHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHO DARES CROSS MEEEEEEEEEEEE!?"
Somehow, she sounded familiar, but when Sezāru looked at her, he most definitely never saw her before.
A cute girl, wearing all jet black with similarly black hair, sat on the sidewalk. Sezāru was relatively short for a guy, and with them both sitting he could tell that she was a slight bit taller than him.
Goth theatrical girl........
A-A blank canvass just begging for the touch of a master!!
"The UNIVERSE conspires against its greater! First, that foul witch cursed me, and now, I crashed like a disgraced angel into a spiked tower of light...!"
"O-Oh, my gosh! Please, let me help you up!"
While the woman was still discombobulated from the collision, Sezāru had helped her up to her feet.
"Say, miss, what's your name?"
She pierced Sezāru with a smug look, and snickered.
"You don't know, cur? I am
LUCIFER VLADIMIR TEPES DEATHUS DRAKUL DARKNESS, LORD OF LIGHT AND SHADOW!"
Fear struck through Sezāru's heart.
He knew that name; some freak who pesters his "cute little gorilla who needs her bananas~." (Don't ask.)
Was he being duped by a man, again!?!
No. Impossible. I NEVER mistake a woman's boobs... after hours of squeezing Hifumi's when she's black-out drunk and no one's around, I'm an expert on all fun soft parts of a woman!
Hmmm. Perhaps she is a twin? Or shares the same mental illness?
Sezāru grabbed Lucifer's hand.
His cutesy demeanor is quite good at wooing ladies, especially ones older than him.
"S-Say... t-this is sudden... b-but would you like me to get you some c-chocolate?"
Lucifer paused for a moment.
"ONLY IF IT'S DARKER THAN MY ABYSSAL BLACK-HOLE PRISON OF A SOUL THAT LIGHT DOES NOT ESCAPE FROM WITHOUT THE ALLOWANCE OF THE WARDEN OF TIME-SPACE!!!"
Yep. Mental illness.
A chocolate entered Lucifer's mouth, and she was not the one who put it in there. Resting on Sezāru's bed, she was facing a kneeling Sezāru.
"Mmmph! Comfqueren hoomamfity ith tho eathy!"
"Hee hee~! You can conquer me all you want~! I'll be here to wait on your every need~!"
"Camf I try thuhe cocomfut wouhn agaimf?"
"One second~!!!"
Sezāru was at peace. He had finally found a cute older woman to pamper and his Lust was satisfied... for the day. In fact, he felt happier about the world.
Makoto... Yoji... maybe they weren't so bad? Maybe he can forgive...
"C'momf... huhhree uhhhp!!!!"
"Yes, my princess~!"
Lucifer was confused.
"...Primfcess? Uhh, I theemfk youh meemf primfce!"
Sezāru stopped in his tracks.
A beautiful vase shouldn't speak. Why did it speak?
"What. Did. You. Say?"
Lucifer swallowed, and cleared his voice.
"Uh. Prince. I'm not a girl. 'DARK PRINCE' is even in my name, not sure how you messed that up."
Ah! She must be one of those deviants who think they are the other gender!
"Oh, why would you want to be boy, anyway, princess~? You're so much cuter as a girl!"
A hint of pure malice was in Sezāru's voice.
"...Huh? OHHHHHH! A FOUL WITCHQUEEN OF THE WORST DEPTHS HAS CONVERTED ME INTO A FEMININE FORM BEFITTING THAT OF THE DEMON LILLITH! BUT WORRY NOT! FOR I AM
LUCIFER VLA-UMPPPPPPPPFFFFFHHHHH!!!"
CLINK!!
A piece of metal was tightly wrapped around Lucifer's neck. 'She' didn't even see it coming.
Being choked by the piece of metal, it levitated, and Lucifer along with it.
Sezāru didn't even watch as it loyally followed him as he walked out of his room, and eventually, out of his house.
Walking into the center of the road, the metal band unwrapped itself and dropped Lucifer onto the ground.
"...Scum. There's no other word. You are scum. A freak. If you ever come to my house again, I will break every bone in your freakish body. I'm going to go burn my bedsheets."
LIAR! DECIEVER! BLASHPHEMER! I'LL NEVER FORGIVE THIS AS LONG AS I LIVE!
During and after Sezāru was finishing his villain speech, Lucifer was coughing. No real damage was done to his throat, but it was certainly extremely uncomfortable.
"...Do I -HACK- still get the coconut one?"
SLAM.
The door to the Ishiku home was closed.
"...Guess -HACK- not."
If you ask Sezāru about what happened that day, he will merely say that Lucifer stole some chocolates from him and choked, causing the bruising on his neck. No big deal.