Homecoming
It was approximately 7:37 in the evening, Friday.
A Rover 213 SE, painted light blue and covered in various signs of wear and tear, pierced through the heavy fog afflicting the area to trundle down South Coast Path and into a small driveway. It finally puttered to a halt at its end, coming to rest in front of a small house.
A tall man with jet-black hair and square glasses was the first to exit. He wore an aging leather jacket and a pair of jeans alongside thick woolen socks and a pair of slippers, with a pair of gloves adorning the hand he was now using to open the car's back doors.
A red-haired young girl flung herself out of the C-segment as soon as the door opened, stumbling over her school robe and nearly dropping the oversized briefcase she was carrying into the mud as she broke into a sprint. "First one! I'm goin' to be the first one there!"
Following her was a smaller boy, much more similar to the man, two inches shorter than the girl and carrying an equally-oversized briefcase in both hands. He wore a somber expression, his eyes following the redhead while his mouth kept quiet.
"Cheer up, Zach. There's lots to look forward to," the man told his son as he shut the Rover's doors behind him, "even if it isn't as exciting as your magical school."
The redheaded girl continued her race for the door, nearly stumbling over every rough stone set into the house's damp and grassy front yard to get there, finally surmounting the largest slab of rock to stumble right into a simple cedar door and slap her hand against it. "I WIN! I'm first! Zach, you've got to try harder!"
She did a small dance on the spot, her smile stretching from ear to ear, the suitcase in her hands almost twirling as violently as her short skirt while she spun in place. "I've beat you every time we've come back, it's gettin' borin'!"
The boy, Zach, just tilted his head and followed after her. His pace was notably more muted, his eyes never looking up from the pavement or the stones that followed it, and he joined his sister at the door with utmost reluctance.
"Kids, I've got to warn you, your mother's very tired." A few beeps came from the Rover as its owner locked it up and headed over to his children. "She's been cooking all evenin', so you can't be screamin' like you are now when you get inside."
The girl crossed her arms. "Well-- fine, then. I'll keep it down. No need t' worry about Zachy here talking too much."
The boy said nothing.
"Good," their father approved, "then... prepare yourselves, for the feast of a lifetime."
The man wrapped his thin fingers around an aging doorknob, then swung the front door open and mocked fanfare.
Zach looked up to see... exactly what he remembered. A warm living room welcomed him in, decorated heavily with banners and string lights celebrating the return of him and his sister. They hung upon warm orange walls, beneath a ten-foot roof, dangling above an old wooden floor littered with carpets and various marks of wear and tear. Zach could still see the stains from his chemistry kit gone wrong near the entrance to the kitchen, the permanent markings on the floor where their old dining table used to be, and the same old grooves where they'd put their Christmas tree every year next to their aging TV.
Immediately across from him were the stairs to all the bedrooms. The door to Amalia's room could be seen from here, just barely, at the top of the steps and half-covered by the ceiling itself. If he ran straight ahead and ignored everyone around him, he could take a sharp right and run into his room. He could ignore the evening and just spend all day at his computer playing Wizardry like he wanted to. But... he didn't have the heart to do that to his parents, no matter how little he wished to see anyone at that moment.
Finally, to Zach's left... sat his mother.
"Oh, thank God!" she gasped, putting a hand on her chest and sitting up straight. Even from the doorway, Zach could see the exhaustion in her eyes. Black bags hung below them, accentuating the wrinkles beginning to form around her cheeks, contrasting against his mother's ghostly-pale skin. The chestnut-brown hair he'd always remembered her with was firing off in every direction, almost looking as if someone had run a balloon over the top of her head, defiantly refusing to stay in the one place her hair clip was demanding it to.
It wasn't long before Zach found himself wrapped in a tight hug and felt tears running down his back. "Zach, I was so worried for you! You'd-- you'd taken so long t' get here, I was fearin'..."
"Now, now, Janet, there's no need to run yourself ragged over the kids..." Zach's father chuckled, putting a hand on his wife's shoulder. "They're more resilient than you give them credit for."
"Yeah!" Amalia spoke up, indignant. "Come on, we eat danger for breakfast! Why'd you think we wouldn' make it back for Christmas?"
The redheaded girl kept grinning, eventually giving her father a look. "An' why are you huggin' Zach first? I'm right here, an' very obviously in need of affection! Zach doesn' even want hugs right now."
Amalia's assertion was correct. The moment Janet stepped back and gave Zach some space, he drifted off to the left and let the other three hug it out on their own. Zach, instead, turned his attention to the place his mother had been sat at. The tiny dining room, consisting only of a long table and the necessary amount of chairs, sat next to a window and a few cabinets holding fancy ceramic plates that they never seemed to use.
The table was rickety, somewhat scratched-up, looking much older than it was and noticeably sagging near the middle. That sagging, Zach figured, could be attributed to the giant turkey his mother had cooked for them tonight.
The turkey was accompanied by an entire procession of delightful delicacies. Mashed potatoes surrounded the gigantic fowl itself, laced with cranberry sauce and the occasional sprinkle of salt, sat in the dead center of the table with various small meats and pot pies dancing around it. Roasted artichokes, green beans, and cherry tomatoes sat on one side of the table, clearly representing all the foods too grown-up for the kids, while a small glazed ham, various baby carrots, decorated sausage rolls and plenty of biscuits decorated the opposite end. The entire feast looked like it was meant to feed twice as many people as there were living there.
"I've got so much t' tell you," Amalia continued on from something Zach hadn't been listening to, "about school 'n friends 'n adventures an'..."
Zach watched her shuffle her mom off to the dining table, blabbering to her as she went, leaving their dad to pick up the suitcases they'd left behind and bring them upstairs. Zach had wanted to help, but he was quickly called away by his mum instead.
"Zach, come 'ere!" His mother called, beckoning him to the table. "Luv, you haven't even said hello. Are you alright?"
The boy watched his mother extend a hand to his own, placing her palm upon the back of his right, hesitating to answer before finally speaking up. "...I'm fine, mum. Jus'... worried."
"About what, luv?" She didn't hesitate, almost cutting her son off in an attempt to fish out the reasoning as to why.
"I... I don't want t' talk about it now, mum." Zach answered again, his eyes returning to his lap.
"Leave 'im alone. I've got much more interestin' things to tell you about!" Amalia proclaimed, her grin still prominent. The girl had already sat herself beside her mum, a seat across from and to the left of her brother, and was already aiming for a turkey leg with her knife as she spoke.
"What about, Amalia?" Zach's mom said, clearly unhappy about being pulled away from her son.
"WELL, I've done lots with Merlin this year! We did lots of studyin', lots of adventurin', an'-- oh, I shouldn' say..." She cut herself off before she could mention the alcohol she'd stolen.
"Shouldn't say what?" Her mother became inquisitive.
"Well..."
Amalia's conversation faded into the back of my mind. I wasn' paying much attention t' her in the first place, but I was payin' even less now.
I just wanted dad back. It'd been so long since I'd seen him. Instead of taking some food like I knew I was meant to, I was sittin' here just watchin' the stairs for his return. I could hear him clamberin' around upstairs, puttin' suitcases onto beds 'n fiddlin' with their finicky locks, mumblin' to himself...
"I'm very proud of you, luv," mum said. "I never thought my daughter would find a man that suited her..."
"Not like tha', mum!" Amalia went fire-red, blushin' so hard I could hear it in her voice. My eyes, of course, were still glued t' the steps. "I don't-- he's a friend!"
"You know, I said the same thing about your father," mum laughed, "and look where we are today!"
Amalia kept gettin' offended, defendin' her honor from mum's piercin' gossip. We both knew the effort was futile, an' that the other village mums would be hearin' of her daughter's upcomin' engagement in no time, but it was worth a try. It wasn't like they'd take her word as gospel, anyways.
Finally, dad descended down the rickety steps in a sleepy stupor. His smile was gone already, replaced by the exhaustion that naturally followed a long day of work. Fortunately for us, that tired face was gone the moment he laid eyes upon mum's turkey breast... replaced by exaggerated fury at his daughter.
"Amalia, you stole the best pieces of turkey again! I'd begged you to leave them for me last time. Don't you care for your agin', famished father?" He feigned betrayal, his right hand brushing up against his forehead.
"Yeh, when he's actually famished!" Amalia stuck her tongue out and teased. "I's not my fault he's a sloth who left all the good bits to his starvin' children instead of feedin' himself. Now there'll be nothing left for him at all..."
Dad gasped an' stumbled over to the table, feignin' a slow death... before getting up an' givin' Amalia a noogie. "Come on, now, respect your elders! Don't take all that for yourself," his eyes drifted to the pair of turkey legs on Amalia's plate.
"Fiiiine, I guess you can have one..." Amalia sighed, taking dad's dramatics an' running with them, handin' him a greasy leg while rollin' her eyes. "I've got t' be gen'rous, after all, like my good dad taught me t' be."
"That's my girl," dad chuckled. He gave Amalia one more noogie before takin' the leg and chompin' down.
"Phillip! At least seat yerself before takin' a bite!" Mum demanded.
"Shorry, no can do..." Dad took another chunk out of the turkey leg. "Zhach hazhn't let me shit down yet."
It was hard t' hold in a snicker at how upset that one word made mum. "In front of the kids! Phillip, please, we're havin' a nice dinner... the least you can do is wash out your mouth before eatin' with it!"
Dad nodded and held up his hands, conceding defeat, and took a seat next to me. He sat across from Amalia, of course, who was already starting on her own turkey leg. Mum didn't seem to mind her sloppy eating, casually ignorin' Amalia squirtin' turkey juices all over the nice tablecloth she'd sat everythin' on, instead choosin' t' needle me to pass the time. "Zach, surely you've been doing somethin' at school?"
I nodded, trying to keep my eyes on my mashed potatoes instead've mum.
"Well... what have you been doing, then? Your dad and I would very much like to know," she lowered her voice. I could tell she was looking at me, but I didn't look back.
"...w-well, I..." I didn't want to say anything yet. I really wasn't sure what to tell her about. My exams, that I'd passed just fine? I already brought that up t' her in e-mails two days ago. The latest spell I'd learned? I couldn't show that off here, and she'd want to take a look... there was no way I was tellin' her about what'd happened in the forest...
"...how are the Yewberry twins doing? Bob, Charlie?" I changed topic, finally meetin' mum's eyes-- trying to ignore the concern on her face. "I was hopin' to visit them t'morrow."
That brought about a bit of silence, so I tried to smile and lighten the mood. It didn't work much-- all anyone could hear was Amalia's loud chewin', or maybe a bird squawkin' outside. I didn't think I'd said anythin' wrong, so what gave?
"...Zach, haven't you done somethin' at school?" Mum repeated again, quietly.
"Oh, don't hide it from him," dad said. He didn't sound very happy. What was there to hide?
"I suppose it wouldn't do him much good," mum replied. She took a deep breath... an' gave me a smile almost as forced as my own. "Zach, your friends aren't here anymore."
"They've... moved?"
"They... got sent away. The Yewberries went to the military. Bob is at some foreign school in America. Charlie..." She looked to dad an' mumbled somethin', which dad mumbled back.
"Well, he might've moved away. His mother didn't tell me." Mum looked away, starin' at her turkey while keepin' up that fake smile.
That... smile.
I knew it wasn't serious. I knew she wasn't celebratin' all my friends leavin' me just when I wanted t' see them most. But... I knew her opinion of 'em. I knew what she thought they were doin' to me. I figured... some of that had t' be real.
The idea of that-- of mum quietly celebratin' my friends disappearin'...
...I forced myself not t' linger on it.
Silence reigned again. Nobody wanted to speak. Even Amalia was jus' lookin' between me an' mum, sometimes at dad, chewin' on her leg an' some potatoes.
"...I'm sorry, Zach. We didn't want to tell you earlier because we thought it would ruin your break before it even began," dad assured me, "and we weren't sure of it until today."
I didn't know what to say, so I just asked a dumb question. "Why not?"
"Their houses are up for sale now," dad said. He kept himself calm, but I could tell he wasn't any more happy than I was. "We saw agents offering them to a couple and their daughter this mornin'."
I looked at him for a bit, unsure of how to respond. I didn't know whether to be mad, sad, disappointed, or tired. I'd almost expected somethin' like this. I'd hoped it wouldn't happen, but... at the same time, I knew we couldn't jus' keep makin' ruckus around town without someone getting caught.
But it didn't feel fair. Getting shipped halfway across the world for throwin' rocks at bins? Graduatin', only to go to a boot camp? I'd gotten to go to the dream school I never even knew existed, an' everyone I knew back home... got to spend years having seargants shouting down their throats.
The clatter of cutlery on dishes was all that we heard for the next few minutes. I retreated to my mashed potatoes and hams, mum had decided to start cleanin' up preempetively after finishin' her own bits of turkey an' mash, and dad was just getting started.
Dinner was silent, after that, until dad made me an offer. "After this is all over, we can go turn on the telly and sit together if you'd like. I've missed you, Zach, and I don't want you to have your break ruined by this."
It was nearin' nine pm on a weekday. Just a few years ago, I'd had to have been in bed by now. I still went to sleep by ten, usually.
But today... I could afford to lose a few hours.
"...s-sure. Thanks, dad," I frowned. I was holdin' back tears, but tried not to make it obvious. I'd missed my friends so very badly, back at Hogwarts, an' now... I had no idea when I'd be able to see them again.
Dad wrapped his arm around me as I let my head fall onto his shoulder. He gave me a hug, as tight as he could, and let me sob into his chest for a bit. Once I'd embarrassed myself in front've mum an' Amalia sufficiently, he spoke quietly to me. "I've heard there's the Twilight Zone on Bravo tonight. We could watch that, soon, if you'd like."
I looked back at my dinner plate, ponderin' whether it was really worth it to finish off what I'd had left, an' felt my appetite leavin' me as I did so. The mashed potatoes began to look soggy and bland t' my mind, with the hams beginning to lose their luster 's'well. "...y-yeah, that sounds nice."
I pulled my head out of dad's jacket and wiped my eyes. I gave Amalia a quick glance-- she was lookin' at me funny, I couldn't tell whether she was confused or worried-- and looked back up at dad. "I'd like that."
"Thank you, dad."
"MUM!" I ran down the stairs, elated.
Sun was shinin' through the curtains, directin' my eyes to the half-abandoned dinner table from last night. Ma'd forgotten to clean up half the plates, she was so tired. I knew I'd have to help out with 'em today, an' I knew I didn't want to.
"MUM?" I called again, trying to find her.
"Wha'?" I heard her call from upstairs. Shoot, she'd prob'ly been asleep. I turned back 'round and ran up the steps again. "Mum, mum! When's breakfus?"
I swung open the door t' her room, peekin' into her master bedroom an' seein' her lookin' at me all groggy-like. She barely had her eyes open an' was blinkin' at me loads.
"Amalia..." She rubbed her eyes 'n took her sleep mask off her forehead. "Amalia, it's seven am. Why are you awake? I's still dark out."
"I'm just very excited, mum! Your cookin's so much better than anythin' Hogwarts has to offer. I've got t' know when breakfus is!" I neglected to mention the real reason I was up so early. Sure, it was for mum's cookin'... but mum was usually still asleep about now.
"It's whenever I wake up, sweetheart," mum groaned. "An hour or so after that, for a fact."
She slipped out of bed, into her slippers, troddin' out've her room in her nightgown to come hold the door open. I put my hands behind my back an' tried to smile. "So in an hour or two?"
Mum grumbled again. "...an hour or two. Go sleep, now. I'll wake you up again when it's done," mum said. She was already lookin' back at her bed.
"Okay! Thank you mum!" I grinned, showin' my teeth an' trying to make my eyes sparkle. I'd barely been able to sleep, I was so excited.
"...mm-hm," mum said back. She slowly closed the door and tottered off back t' bed, leavin' me... to go right back to my room.
I wasn't going t' sleep, of course. There was no point'n that now that I'd already woken up.
No, I was goin' flyin'.
I'd been around Hogwarts plenty. I could probably name any place on the map with perfect accuracy at this point. The sights an' sounds of the lake, the forests, the school itself-- I could mimic 'em with my eyes closed.
But Myrtencombe... I hadn't ever flown around here. Sure, I'd grown up there, an' I knew it plen'y well, but I'd never seen it from above.
As I threw open the door t' my room, I was on my bed in an instant. Within moments I'd gotten on my knees, thrown my hands at the window, and flung open my closest connection to the outside world.
There was no rain out today. There was still some fog lingerin' from last night, but otherwise... it was a perfectly cool, cloudy, winter morning. A gust of air forced itself into my room, briefly throwin' my hair over my shoulders, grazin' my cheeks an' promptin' me to smile at the mere thought of catching those gusts.
I hopped across my blanket, already havin' changed forms, flappin' my wings and grabbin' onto the windowsill. I took a precarious step over that one bit separating the inside-sill from the outside-sill, making sure that I was properly perched outside the house.
I could see the entire town from here. It was a tiny one, granted, but it looked so much bigger from this point've view.
To the left: endless farmland. A small row of shops, a house or two... mostly farmland.
To the right: nothing but the open waters. A steep drop, a small bar of sand... then, nothing but the Channel.
I felt it callin' to me, practic'ly beggin' me to go flyin' over it, but I wasn't any seabird. I had my head straight. I wasn't going to go flyin' over frigid, French waters any time soon. Not over it, anyways.
No, instead... I had a town to explore.
The winds began to change. Instead've being right against me, they started flyin' elsewhere. Someplace northeast, I figured. Now was as good a time as any to take off.
I spread my wings as wide as they could go, feelin' the breeze fly right under them. As I flapped my wings a few times, making sure I could feel them properly an' they weren't sleepin' on me, I took one step off of the windowsill...
...and fell forward, carryin' myself on the wind an' flyin', properly, over my hometown.
The shriekin' of the winter winds flew past my eardrums, carryin' my wings on their backs an' cryin' of a cold an' damp Christmas ahead. I could see clouds brewing, hangin' over the hills my hometown was built upon like a guillotine above a French king, threat'nin' to dowse the entire country in water for Christmas. I laughed at the thought, flappin' my wings again, soarin' above our neighbor's houses and flying towards town square.
There were already people there, somehow, enjoying themselves at seven am in the mornin'. Seven! Had they no sleep schedules? The sun hadn't even risen yet!
As the sleepless sods trundled around town square, talking to each other and exchangin' pleasantries, I tilted to the right an' let the wind carry me eastward. I'd reminded myself of somethin' important, an' I could skimp out on some town-viewin' to do it... if I just made it there on time.
I turned 'round, letting the winds carry me for the most part, flappin' when needed an' spendin' most of my time lookin' at the town below. Everyone was wearin' winter jackets, bobble hats, gloves... there wasn't even snow out yet. It looked rather funny. I tried to recognize a few people from hair alone, but it was hard. The hats were coverin' everythin'. So, I focused again on where I was going.
The further east I went, the closer I got to the tiny walls trappin' us all in here. The little stone things had been there since before people other than kings knew how to read, from what I knew, an' they hadn't been made much taller since. From this height they looked as tall as everythin' else, of course, but on the ground... well, I couldn't see over them until I was ten years old!
It was surreal, the more I thought about it, that I was even doin' this. I was home for a break from magic school, flying above the town I'd lived in all my life through the power of magic, flying out east to see somethin' beautiful...
My train of thought came to a halt. I'd turned in the right direction, now... an' there it was.
Across from me, over the channel, the sun began to rise.
I forced myself upright, flappin' in place, watchin' as the tiny ball of light surfaced above the water. I flew gently down, into one of the tallest trees around, landin' on a branch an' tuckin' in my wings. I gripped the wood tightly, shuffling 'round to make sure I was away from any other birds, giving all my attention to the skyline.
It was indescribably beautiful. The way the sun's rays pierced through the fog, shone through the leaves... I could see them ripplin' on the currents, highlighting every wave, all the light the sun brought dancin' on top of the Channel like a procession of little fairies, sparkling and shining an' brimmin' with beautiful sunlight.
The warmth they brought with them began to reach the tree I sat in. It brushed against the bark of it, tracin' a finger down every leaf an' every branch, eventually finding its way to my feathers. I shook myself, almos' on instinct, not used to the sudden change in temperature.
My eyes grew wide, my beak opened just a tiny bit. I'd never seen a sunrise this breathakin' before. Never alone, never without some chatterin' in the background about where we should be headed next or how long we were takin'.
Never, had I ever...
...slept in this late.
I rolled over in bed. My eyes were barely open. I glanced at my alarm clock... eleven am.
I didn't really want to get out. I'd barely gotten to sleep before one am last night. What was it to everyone else if I just spent a day or two in bed? Surely Christmas wasn't that important.
I heard a knock on the door.
"...c'me in," I mumbled, hidin' myself beneath my bedsheets. I didn't want to talk to mum or dad today. If it was Amalia, even...
"...Zach, is everything alright?"
It was dad. I peeked out, above the covers, for just a moment. He was dressed in his dark red an' plaid nightgown, still wearin' slippers.
"You've been in bed so long that Amalia's already come and gone. She finished breakfast before you've even started." Dad walked over to my side an' sat on my bed, just next to me. He put a hand on my blanket and gave me that one look. You know the one; where he tries to look stern and daddish, but ends up jus' lookin' like a worried puppy.
"If you get up any later, mum's going to need the hospital," he joked. He tried to smile, but couldn't hold it.
"'s fine. We'll give her a hug and she'll be all better," I tried to joke back. I think my tone was too flat for that. Dad wasn't amused.
"Don't be so down, Zach. We can make this break plenty worth it for you. Even without your friends," he paused, "even if it's just us."
I didn't say anythin'. I didn't want to break his heart. I had missed dad. Mum, too, if less. But I missed my friends so much more. I knew they hadn't died or anythin'. I knew I could probably ask around, get their new addresses, send them something...
But two days before Christmas? Right when I was goin' to invite them over? I had surprises planned. I'd brought them chocolate frogs. They were going to think it was the coolest thing ever, an' then we'd go pit them against actual frogs, an', an'...
"Come on, let's go to the garden. The plants'll need some cheerin' up after today's weather, and you're just the right man for the job." Dad pat me on the shoulder and got off of my bed.
"But I'm not funny," I insisted. I couldn't cheer anyone up right now, let alone myself.
"Don't insult the quality of my parenting, son. You're as funny a man as I, and I'll have you prove it to me if you don't leave this room within five minutes." Dad was grinnin' again.
"Dad! That's unfair, I need longer than that to get dressed!" I sat up, offended. I'd barely have trousers on by that point!
"Well, then, time is of the essence! Hurry up! I'll see you theeeere!" Dad called, as he left the room. He closed the door behind him, an' left me flushed with worry once he was gone.
Five minutes! How was I going to manage everythin' in so little time??
"I think Mr. Poppy appreciates that," Dad commented.
I just kept waterin' the flowers, trying to ignore all the silly names he was usin' for them.
"I really can't believe it's so cloudy. It's almost Christmas, but you could tell me it was nearin' spring and I'd believe you," he continued. He was looking up at the sky now, ignorin' me.
"Yeah, it's... I don' think it's going t' snow." I tried to practice my small talk.
Dad shook his head. "'Course not. The flowers would hate that. An' besides, snow's for the Scots. All the northernly folk get that kind of slush from October to April. Be grateful we aren't one of them."
"I'm grateful, dad." I mumbled. I didn't want to say it, but I appreciated the distraction. Anything was better than my own thoughts.
"Good. And be grateful you're not a Londoner, either. We'd be getting pouring rain had I not moved. Pourin' rain, an' lots of snobs. They'd probably be tellin' us to call it x-mas instead," he laughed again.
"But you don't want to hear about politics, I'm sure. I know I don't. I'd rather hear about your school," he said to me again. I immediately started thinking of ways to dodge the subject. It was uneventful? I couldn't tell him about it due to a secret code of conduct that would have me expelled? No, that last one wouldn't work. I hadn't shut up about it over the Internet.
"I know Amalia hasn't been doin' well. But I can count on you, right?"
Dad's words... stuck with me. For some reason, I never forgot what he said here. They made me feel a mixture of warmth an' dread. Warmth, because he believed in me. Dread... because of who I was bein' compared to.
I put it past me for now. "...yeah, dad. You can count on me. I had these exams, before I had to go on break, for my classes. They weren't very hard, right? Just some final tests for midterms," I tried to begin.
"Oh, those were a pain. I never bothered with 'em," dad interrupted.
I continued. "A-anyways, I passed them with flyin' colors. I even got a compliment from my teacher," I started lookin' dad in the eyes.
He chuckled again. "Ah, the one thing I could never coax out've mine..."
"Dad, can you please let me get through a sentence?" I was a bit miffed now. I just wanted to tell him what he'd asked about, an' he was interruptin' me, always. Like Amalia would do when she deigned to say hello.
"Alright, alright. Sorry, I'm not used to you bein' 'round anymore, it's got me excited," he relented.
"Right, so..."
We went on for some time. I told him about the more borin' stuff. I mentioned how my tutorin' was goin', with Professor Travers, an' brought up some stuff I'd done with Tony. When I brought up the duelin' club, dad gave me some advice for dealin' with girls...
It was odd. I hadn't done somethin' like this in so long. Most of my summer was just spent hanging out with the Yewberries an' friends.
...I still missed them, dearly.
"I know, Zach." Dad put a hand on my shoulder and tried to reassure me. "But things will be alright, right? I left my entire home city for a girl I'd only known for a few months. I left my entire group behind for her. I'd known them since middle school, and I didn't even get to say goodbye. Things turned out alright for me then, and they will for you now too."
"But I don't want things to turn out alright," I cried. "I want there to be disaster. I want my friends to have some excuse to come back home, without a limb or because of some kind of war. I want to see them again, dad. I want to see them again more badly than I've wanted anything else in years."
Dad was silent for a bit, then replied quietly. "I know, son. But all I can give you for Christmas is myself. I can't bring your friends back here. Neither can mum. All we can do is try to help you feel better."
That... was more than I'd ever had at Hogwarts, thinking about it. I'd spent so long in that dorm room, mostly alone. I'd spent so many nights huddled up to the windowsill, or some book, or the blanket. I hadn't had many people to talk to, and even fewer to just tell me that things... were going to be alright.
I felt a weight lift off of my shoulders. A small one, sure, but one important enough t' help me breathe a little easier.
Dad was here. I had my dad back. I was home, again, in the garden...
"...t-thanks." I came in for another hug, an' dad reciprocated. I felt like a little kid, huggin' him so tightly. Last time I'd done something like this, I was five... an' scared of monsters under my bed.
Now, I was thirteen. I was standing in the little garden my dad and I had planted together. I was watchin' the sea slap against the shoreline far behind him, sometimes looking over to the big tree in the corner of it all, my eyes dartin' from flower to flower as I recalled every last memory I had of them. Messin' up the petunias an' giving them a tiny funeral. Watchin' the poppies flower for the first time. Dad an' I singin' the tunes he'd taught me to the periwinkles...
Dad let me go after a minute or two. He gave me a stern look and a pat on the head. "Now, son, you've got to man up. These flowers require the utmost care and attention to them, and one cannot call himself a man if he is to over-water his lady's most favorite flowers."
He pointed to the waterin' hose layin' flat in the petunia beds, pourin' water all over them, bein' pecked at by some crow. "Oh, shi--"
I stumbled over to the hose an' shooed away the crow. "Shoot! Sorry-- that's too much, isn' it? The flower's goin' to drown now!" I glanced over to dad to confirm.
He shook his head. "Only this one, thankfully! Now, for the rest, you have to water them more like this..."
It was nearin' dinnertime. "How much longer will it take, ma?"
"An hour or two yet, luv. Be patient and focus on the game," mum answered Amalia.
"I'll try... but it's so borin'." Amalia grumbled back. "Four players isn't any fun. We should've let Salt an' Pepper play."
"Dear, they won't understand the rules," mum said again. "And I don't want snakes playin' Monopoly with us on Christmas Eve. We won't have doctors for us if anythin' happens."
I just tried to focus on the game. The incessant chatterin' was throwing off my strategy. If I could just land on the boardwalk...
"He's defanged, mum! How would he even bite you?" Amalia continued to complain.
"Amalia, that's enough. Focus on the game," dad intervened. He moved his terrier forward a few spaces and took a chance card. "Get out of jail free... I could have used this a few turns back."
Amalia was quiet for a few more turns, lettin' us enjoy our evenin', before she spoke up again. "I wish we could've invited Merlin over for Christmas. Merlin, or Lennox, or..."
She was really starting to get on my nerves. Without thinkin', I spit out a remark. "Yeah, well, I wish I still had friends at all."
That got under Amalia's skin, somehow. "Still had friends! Zach, I'm your friend! We've known each other for your entire life!"
"Is that what it takes to be a good friend, then? Jus' knowing each other? Not doin' anything, goin' anywhere? Giving each other gifts?" I retaliated. She hadn't even bought anything for me this Christmas, I just knew it.
And she'd only confirmed as much by instantly shrinkin' away at the suggestion.
"Zachary Oceanborough, leave your sister alone!" Mum raised her voice, exasperated. "She's not done anythin' to you."
"Exactly!" I raised mine back, slammin' the table. "She hasn't done anythin' at all."
I got up from my chair and threw my money on the Monopoly board. I waited a moment for the man in the middle to react, only to remember that Monopoly was mundane. Right. He wasn't a paintin' or nothin'. "I'm sick of this. Call me when dinner's done," I growled.
There was some sort of yellin' going on as I left the table, but I didn't care. I stomped up the stairs an' into my room. As long as I was there, I figured, nobody could bother me.
I slammed the door behind me once I got in, making sure to turn the lock on the knob, and resigned myself to be alone for the night. It wasn't like I wanted to be sat there with Amalia, anyways.
This town was borin'. These people were borin'. I was sick of this.
I needed out of the house. Zach had gone an' ruined things, mum and dad were yellin' over it, I needed out.
I flung open the window again and threw myself out. I was glidin' just fine, thankfully, an' decided my time would be better spent out in the woods nearby.
Mum had always said they were dangerous, but I had yet to believe her. The worst I'd ever seen there was some stray cat, an' it hadn't even bitten me or anythin'. Sure, if I saw it as I was now that could change, but I wasn't expectin' to see anythin' especially dangerous around while most people were still awake.
As the sky grew darker an' darker, I got closer an' closer to the trees. The thick forest I remembered so dearly almost looked tame to me, after seein' what the Forbidden Forest was like, an' I soon found myself upon a thick, empty branch.
I went about preenin' my feathers, grumblin' to myself. Nobody would miss me, I sulked, if I just kept doin' this. Just kept flyin' out, when I wanted, an' pretendin' to be some random bird. Nobody even knew I could end up a crow at any moment.
Nobody, 'cept Merlin 'n Lennox.
...
I ignored the implications 'n kept preenin'. Some stupid twig had gotten stuck underneath my feathers when I landed, an' it was putting up a fight. The stupid thing just wouldn't leave me alone. If one of 'em had been here, they could have made this a total non-issue! Even one of Lennox's snakes could've done better than my stupid beak. They'd've just plucked it out...
More thoughts I didn't want kept pushin' themselves into my brain. Some stupid musin's about Zach, about how he wouldn't know where I was if I got hurt. So what if I got hurt? I could magic myself better again! I knew Episkey, I knew how to fix those things myself! Mum just... didn't know. She'd want me taken to the hospital, if she saw me human.
No, she wouldn't. I'd be a crow. It wouldn't matter, she wouldn't recognize me.
I went back to preenin'. The twig finally got out from under my feathers, an' I threw it onto the forest floor. "Take that," I croaked. "Stupid stick!"
'S not my fault I forgot to get Zach a gift. I had a lot on my plate! He had lots too. He had exams, he had studyin', he had... whatever he did. He didn't need some stupid novelty mug. He didn't care about pepper imps. I'd only be wastin' his precious time.
I thought back to what Cicero had told me so long ago. Somethin' about... somethin' about obliviating, yeah? He'd obliviated people before, 'n Italy. An' when I'd asked if he could do that, he'd...
It would be excessive, I remembered. He wouldn't do that.
...
...my heart was getting heavier, ignorin' all this. But what else could I do? I had to. I had to ignore this. I couldn't fix it. I'd just muck it up even more. I'd told Zach he was my friend, a-an' that'd just made him upset. He'd probably... he probably wouldn't believe me if I told him I was serious.
I sat there for a few moments, starin' at the trees. Eventually, I started starin' at individual leaves.
I was... right. I was fine. All I'd done was tell him he was my friend, an' he'd rejected it. I only ever messed things up when he was 'round, anyways. He was... he probably jus' had very high standards, an' I had yet to meet them.
...
...even... even if I couldn't understand how he seemed t' hate me...
...I knew that things would be alright. If I just kept at it, it'd be alright. If I repeated the truth, he'd... he'd get it eventually.
There wasn't anythin' wrong with me. He just... needed time off.
"KIDS, DINNER'S READY!"
Mum shouted from downstairs. I heard some commotion in Amalia's room-- the scrabblin' of somethin' on wood, scratchin' things here an' there, some window closin'.
By the time I'd left my room, Amalia was already rushing down the stairs.
Christmas day had been lonely.
We'd gone out to town and celebrated with all the neighbors, but I hadn't really felt... there for most of it.
I'd jus' been lookin' 'round, somehow hopin' one of my friends would pop up and say hello. Give me a wave, throw me a rock, somethin'. I could've sworn I saw Charlie at one point, peekin' out behind a popcorn cart, but... it'd jus' been some weird bush.
Instead, we'd just spent the day endurin' rain with people we'd known since we were little, singin' songs an' jokin' about how wet it was. All I ended up hearin' was about how tall I was gettin', how alone I looked without my friends, how I had to tell them about school... an', always, how mum would interrupt with some sort of self-defense about how she was still raisin' us correctly, you see, but we jus' couldn't disclose what we were learnin'...
I gave my room one last glance, past my PC and out the window. The clock told me we'd already been home for several hours. The sun was setting already. Had I really spent that long just playin' Wizardry...?
Whatever. There was dinner to eat.
I descended the steps, glancin' at the decorated tree to my left for a moment before traipsin' around to my seat at the table.
Dinner was like a bigger version of what we'd had the day we came home. A giant turkey sat in the middle, as always, now joined by a pair of chickens surrounded by citrus. Small, fried potatoes surrounded them, joinin' the mash keepin' guard of the turkey, all three sat in the middle of a load of appetizers. Biscuits, charcuterie, bits of fish-- it was nuts, like mum was cookin' for the entire extended family.
But there were still only four of us.
Four of us... an' Amalia's great big bird.
"I heard there was chicken tonight, so I brought my own!" She grinned. "This one's permanently roasted. Perfect for dinner!"
Pepper sat perched on her shoulder, tiltin' her head back an' forth, glancin' at the food an' back at mum and me. Her plumage was bright an' vibrant, her face as blue as the sky... I hadn't ever seen it before. Last I saw Pepper, she was a squealin' chick. Amalia had been feedin' her, halfway through year three, while I brewed her that potion she needed for Potions practice. It took so long for Pepper to even hatch that I thought Amalia had been keepin' the egg as a souvenir...
"A-Amalia, that's splendid, but I don't think..." Mum was strugglin' to form a sentence.
"Amalia, put the bird away. We're having dinner, not showing off. Please don't let your peacock steal from our plates," Dad said half-heartedly. He was busy munching on more turkey; he didn't have time to make eye contact.
"She's no' a turkey! She's a phoenix, dad!" Amalia insisted.
There was a bit of silence as my parents contemplated believing her... then, dad again.
"She'll be turkey if she stays at the table any longer," he joked. Hopefully.
"You guys are no fun!" Amalia complained. She was only half-annoyed. I could see her smilin' at dad after she rolled her eyes, and he smiled back. I felt a twang of jealousy for just a moment... then went back to eatin' my fish an' mash.
"Fun is for after dinner, luv," mum chimed in. "For now, we eat. Afterwards... you can open your presents, an' have as much fun as you'd like to."
So, we ate. The four of us were sort of quiet the whole time-- the day had taken a lot out've us, an' we just wanted to have our dinners at that point. Mum made some small talk, going on about how her parents didn't want to visit that year an' how dad's already couldn't, apologizing to nobody in particular about how lonely it felt. Amalia responded predictably, bringin' up her friends again, while Dad an' I kept quiet. He told me to just let them have their 'girl talks', so I did. Neither of us were much in the mood t' do more talkin'.
Eventually, all our plates were completely cleaned out. The table was half-empty, and I could've sworn we all gained ten pounds that evenin'. The whole affair was so enormous that we had leftovers for days remainin', even after we'd eaten far more than we probably should've.
Within moments of us declarin' dinner over... Amalia rushed to the Christmas tree. "Presents, presents, presents, presents! Mum, dad, come quick!!"
All of us tottered over, fuller than we knew was possible, while Amalia went an' rummaged around underneath the tree. Once we were all gathered by her, Amalia immediately began makin' a show of presentin' her gifts. "You won't believe all the presents I've got you. Right. Dad, I'll start with you..."
I ignored her for now, rushin' to my own presents. There were more than I'd expected-- that was enough t' put a smile on my face. I ripped them open as soon as I could, barely even lookin' at the labels. Soon enough, my eyes graced the beautiful boxes of the two computer games I'd wanted most dearly all year: Warcraft: Orcs an' Humans... and UFO: Enemy Unknown, the crown jewel of my Christmas list.
Amalia was still showing off. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her quickly procure... a rather sizeable box. "You said you'd wanted snacks, right? Magicky snacks. So I got you A BUNCH!"
I ignored this again, intent on goin' to hug my parents so tightly that they'd choke-- but I couldn't, I was forced back.
I just narrowly missed... Amalia usin' Locomotor on her big box, forcin' it to float in front've dad an' nearly hittin' me in the head. While she was jugglin' that spell, she opened her mouth to say another: "Diffindo!"
The spell shot across the brim of the box, peelin' off the wrappin' and nearly hittin' mum's tablecloth. That was too far-- I had to speak up. "Amalia, we're not supposed to be usin' magic at home!" I said through gritted teeth. For whatever reason, I gripped my games tighter. As if they were goin' to be plucked out've my hands if I kept yellin'. I was still thinkin' in Hogwarts terms while back home... christ.
"What's it matter? Nobody's watchin' us! I's not like the ministry's going to come an' nag us all here, i's Christmas." Amalia waved me away, concentratin' on keepin' the box floating. "So, this's from Hogsmeade, it's this little village near Hogwarts where they have a bunch of nice little shops. This box is from Honeydukes-- that's the candy shop-- an' it was a big collection of their most popular products..."
"Amalia, listen to me!" I yelled, trying to get her attention. "We could be expelled for this!"
Both our parents seemed too mesmerized to say anythin'. Dad was struggling to form words, while mum was pushed up so far against the couch that she was practically meldin' into it. To go from barely havin' seen any magic at all to nearly havin' your prize tablecloth cut in half by your own daughter's...
"Shut up, Zach! Let me do this, please!" Amalia mumbled back, keepin' her voice low an' her own teeth as tense as mine. "There's pepper imps in here," she pointed with one finger to the furthest left, "chocolate frogs-- they're not real, they jus' hop around like they are-- in here..."
"Amalia--" I could see the spell gettin' less stable. She was strugglin' to keep it up for this long while she was splittin' her attention three ways. She was usually good with Locomotor, but... "Amalia, I'm not going to get expelled because you wanted to do some neat tricks for Christmas!"
I put my games down an' grabbed at her box, tryin' to force it onto the floor. Amalia just focused on it harder, tryin' to yank it out of my hands, wavin' her wand up so high it nearly touched the ceilin'. "Zach, let go!"
"I won't! I can't let you do magic here! You have to promise me you won't do it anymore!" I shouted, throwin' the rest of myself over the box. That forced Amalia onto one knee, just trying to keep the Locomotor up, an' had her glarin' at me like a wretched vulture.
"I'm promisin' nothing to an annoyin' prick who won't even let me have fun on my break!" Amalia yelled back.
The box fell onto the floor as Amalia's wand finally relented. I fell with it, chest-first, onto the ground. By some miracle, the gift itself was unharmed...
...but I'd had enough. I got back on my knees, took my games, an' stood up. "Won't let you have fun?"
It was... I didn't even know how to respond to a statement so blatantly ridiculous. So completely juvenile an'... an' cruel.
I just took my games... an' went upstairs.
The blinds were closed. The door was locked. The lights were off.
All I could hear was the bleepin' an' boopin' of my PC speakers. All I could see was the battle environment on my screen.
Move Evelyn here. Boris there. Sectoid movin' here...
A knock came from behind me. I ignored it.
I'd forgotten to account for cover. The shot missed...
The knockin' grew louder.
Another Sectoid. Closest to Harris...
The lock came magically undone.
I didn't turn around.
"...Zach?"
Harris landed the shot! The Sectoid went down...
"...Zach, I came to apologize."
I stopped.
The game kept runnin'. After a minute, I finally turned around an' looked Amalia in the face.
"Mum put you up to this, didn't she? She got sick of us fightin' and told you to make up or else."
Amalia didn't flinch. She looked... almost genuine. I dismissed the notion an' kept frownin' at her.
My sister shook her head at me. "...no, I decided t' do this by myself."
I continued to give her a mean look. She went on. "I was jus'... I wanted to apologize, sincerely."
"An' how am I supposed to believe that? You never apologize for anythin'. For all I know, you jus'... you jus' don't want mum and dad to think we're still mad at each other." I spun back to my computer.
"Zach, listen to me. I'm serious." Amalia closed the door behind her and walked into the room proper. "There's... there's nothin' wrong with not wantin' mum and dad t' be worried for us."
I turned back again. "So you admit it! You're just doin' this to get off scot-free?"
"No! Zach-- listen, please." Amalia bent down-- an' turned off my PC, right in the middle of the battle.
"Hey!" I yelled. "What the hell? You come in here, you demand I listen to you, you turn off my game-- what do you want from me?" Some exasperation slipped into my words as I went on. "There's no way you're actually here to apologize, I refuse! You can't even tell me your stupid bird egg hatched in the last year, why would you tell me how you feel about somethin' important? Why would you tell me anythin'? Why--"
"ZACH, stop!" Amalia cut me off, yellin' for me to listen. "I want to change that! I want to fix this!" She spread her arms out.
"Fix what? There's nothin' to fix! You broke whatever was there long ago!" I spat back, still furious. I didn't believe a word of what she was sayin', there was no way she'd have self-reflected for even a moment. That was beneath her stupid adventures.
"I know! A-an' I'm sorry! Jus'-- jus' hear me out, okay?" Amalia continued, fallin' back onto my bed and starin' me in the face. "I... I was tutoring with Cicero, right?"
Of course she hadn't come to this revelation on her own.
"A-and... an' he said something that ended up stickin' with me. He said... he said that relationships are built on trust," I was shocked she even needed a teacher to tell her this, "a-and that, without trust, you have no relationship."
I gave her a look. Where was she going with this? Surely she would have already known somethin' so basic. She would have intuited it, at the very least.
I suppose she found my look contemptuous, because she got defensive instead've continuin' the sob story she'd been spinnin' before. "W-well, don't look at me like that. I was... I needed to think about it. It wasn't news. Anyways, I..."
Amalia started standin' up on my bed. I was about to tell her to stop, but she kept talkin'. I'd have to clean the sheets later...
"I just... I wanted to be honest. I wanted to stop... avoidin' you."
...the words look like they hurt her to say.
Amalia went on.
"T-to be honest, I'd have to start with... w-well, where would I even..." Amalia took a deep breath.
I was becomin' concerned. I didn't want to be, but she was still my sister. And now she looked like she was on the verge of some kind of breakdown. If mum saw...
"Well. I know what I can do first, right?" Was Amalia talkin' to hersel--
...
Amalia was gone.
Amalia'd vanished.
My heart beat out of my chest. It scurried up my throat an' back down again, thumpin' on my ribcage like a hammer on a nail.
I'd seen her morph. I'd... I didn't want to look.
Eventually, I forced myself to glance down...
...at the crow now sitting in my bed.
Atop my sheets.
The... crow. The scavenger... crow.
It started talking. Its voice was like if Amalia's had been run through some kind of distortion effect made of sandpaper. It started talking.
"I-I may as well... it's me, right? It's me. Hello, hi, Zach."
The crow hopped around, anxious, in a circle. I just... watched.
"I--"
"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH TROUBLE WE'RE IN?"
I yelled. I couldn't keep my voice down. SHE HAD NO IDEA HOW MUCH TROUBLE WE WERE IN.
"Amalia, the Ministry is going to have your head!! You're-- I hope you've-- you registered, right?? You registered?" I was already panickin'. I knew the punishment for unregistered animagi. I knew the kind of hell my stupid, STUPID sister was lookin' at. I knew I'd get caught in the crossfire, somehow, an' my life would be over right then and there.
"I-- what?? Zach, what are you--"
"You've registered!! You're an animagus, you-- you're supposed to let the Ministry register you, a-an' you're not supposed to do this--" I took a deep breath. "Amalia, you could go to Azkaban!!"
Amalia reappeared in front of me in an instant, completely panicked. "Well-- n-no, it's fine! It'll be fine. Zach, I can assure you--"
"I don't want my sister eaten by Dementors. I don't want my sister goin' insane. Amalia, please, how long have you been unregistered for??" I was grippin' my desk enough to leave marks, trying very hard to keep myself composed-- even while my voice was probably loud enough for the neighbors t' hear.
"Relax, it's no' a problem!" Amalia shouted back, her voice takin' on a sort of desperate vigor. "I have a solution, it's-- it'll be easy! Nobody will ever find out, alright?"
"Amalia, you can't promise me that!! I can't believe it!" My panic was starting t' boil over into anger. What was she going to pull out of nowhere now? Perfect mastery of Avada Kedavra? Some pocket witch who could conceal her appearance?
"Listen, i's easy. I can jus'... change it! They-- they don't need to know i's me, ever!" Amalia-- Amalia's face... melted away, in front of me.
...I felt sick to my stomach. I forced a hand over my mouth an' tried my best not to throw up then an' there. "I can jus' look different! They'll-- they'll never know. Look--"
I reached for my wand, lying on my desk, an' grabbed it tightly.
I pointed it directly at the thing sitting on my bed, lookin' at me, wearin' my face like some kind of twisted mask.
"Who are you. What have you done with Amalia. Tell me, now." My voice cracked, my hand shook, my heart skipped beats, but I kept my wand steady.
"Z-Zach..." The thing put its hands up in surrender, its distortion of my face almost looking confused. "Z-Zach, it's... l-lower your wand, alright? Please?"
The thing reached out to lower it for me, but I batted it away. "Tell me! If-- if you're still Amalia, if you're still her, somehow, how have I not known about this?? How long have you hidden this from me? How long have I been talking to some other horrible creature wearin' my sister's face??"
"I-I could've... I could've s-sworn I told you w-when you were m-makin'... makin' the a-animagus potion..." The thing kept its hands raised an' started trying to scoot away.
"WHAT animagus potion??" I almost wanted to pinch myself. This wasn't real. Clearly, I was bein' screwed with. I wasn't-- I wasn't really seein' this. "What fucking animagus potion are you talking about??"
"T-the potion! F-from third year! Your-- your first!" I saw my face melt away before me, into a blob of skin I could barely discern, before Amalia's terrified face returned to its place on her head.
Amalia's hair was black and straight. The fiery curls I'd assumed she'd dyed in had vanished.
"That... that was *for POTIONS PRACTICE! Are you-- Amalia--?" I was startin' to choke on words. This was like a nightmare-- some horrible, awful, nightmare, messin' with my head, messin' with my heart--
"It was!! I was watchin' you, l-learnin' how to make potions, p-practicin' potions by watchin' you brew... watchin' you brew the animagus potions!" Amalia choked as she spoke, stoppin' halfway through the sentence to catch her breath.
"You..."
I felt like I was going to faint. I couldn't-- I couldn't keep lookin' at Amalia. Her face looked like she thought I was going to kill her. I almos' thought I was going to kill her. I practically had the words for Confringo readied on my lips. I knew it was stupid, I knew it would get the entire town under suspicion, I held it back.
"You... you used me to make you an animagus an' you didn't even tell me?"
I eventually managed to force those words, as hopeless and defeated as they sounded, out instead. I lowered my wand, very slowly, very reluctantly. I was in so much disbelief I wasn't convinced any spell I used wouldn't backfire.
"Used..." Amalia echoed, but didn't respond.
"I... I thought you were... makin' a Beautification Potion. You were usin' bugs an' dew... y-you were..." I remembered what I was facing.
"You're-- you're still Amalia? You're not some shapeshiftin'-changeling, are you? Not a boggart? Did you follow me back on the bus?? Did you replace her??" I raised my wand again, though the threat was mostly empty.
Silence filled the air in the room. It was defeaning-- suffocating. Every time I breathed, I felt like I was inhalin' acid.
The thing didn't respond. It just... it just stared at me, with Amalia's eyes, like a deer in headlights.
I said nothin'. I just raised my wand... an' uttered some words under my breath.
A whip-crack sound rang out through the room, straight at the thing across from me.
The spell wandered over the form of what it confirmed to be my sister, barely stickin' around for more than a minute, before... vanishin'.
Amalia looked at me again, her hair slowly turnin' red an' curly again, no less panicked than she was before. "...s-sorry."
"...what?" I looked her up an' down, still reelin' from everythin' she'd said. She couldn't just... she wasn't just...
Amalia rolled to the left an' got off my bed. She looked at me again, her pupils tiny pinpricks, her hands tremblin'. "...s-sorry, Zach."
We held eye contact for some time. We jus'... we jus' looked at each other. We were mirrorin' each others' panic. We were hardly lookin' anywhere else. We jus'... stared...
...an', eventually, Amalia turned to leave. "M-merry Christmas."
"W-wait--" I stumbled forward, wantin' her to stay for some reason I couldn't place--
But Amalia had already gone, quietly closin' the door behind her.
"WAIT!" I yelled back, stumblin' right into the door. I pulled away, my cheeks hurting from the force I'd slammed into it with, starin' at the door like it was still my sister. For all I knew, at this point, it could be!
"Amalia, please!! What-- come back, won't you??" I was desperate. I didn't know why. I opened the door--
But it was already too late. I'd heard her runnin' down the last of the steps as I opened, an' I could hear talking from downstairs.
I was almost tempted to listen in... until I heard voices bein' raised.
I stepped back into my room.
I closed the door, carefully, so as not to make any noise.
I stumbled backwards, onto my bed.
I sat down, momentarily alarmed by the plushness of the blankets, starin' at the door...
...an' it all came crashin' down.
I sat there, thinkin', wonderin' when I had lost my sister.
I wondered, too, when she'd come back.
I didn't dare think any further. I couldn't handle it. I could not even begin to imagine what I had just witnessed.
My head slipped into my hands. My fingers dug into my scalp, my heart practically fell out of my throat. Every part've me was tense, every cell in my body in utter disbelief...
Finally, I let myself begin to cry.
I never let myself stop.