Kara's Relationship Chart
Sasha the Snake
Damn... God damn... Uh, sorry. One of the best faces (and bodies) to see randomly out in the desert, mostly because she's not actively threatening to people still up and moving. One of my best customers whenever I head up towards Big Rig and I usually have to cut her off before she eats through all my foodstuffs. Likes to trade in shiny objects, which can amount to marbles to actually really useful stuff like pre-war gadgets.
Dateable?: Calm down, Kara. No. She's not looking for a commitment and I am. Simple as could be.
Recommended Meal: The Raider Special (Whatever the biggest piece of meat I've got on hand is, cooked rare.)
Ramses
Yeah I heard about this guy a lot on the radio. With how he is, amicable relationships definitely ain't on the table with me being a normal human and all that. Still, man knows how to talk and I can't deny that. If I was a mutant, I'd probably be jumping ship to join up with him too. As is, he's the type that makes me grateful I've got a useful skill. If one day mutants are running the place, they still need something to eat. Can't say that about the robot overlord version of that. Just wish he would put on some pants, though.
Recommended Meal: Roast duck with an apple glaze and a wild salad on the side. Prepared all fancy-like and on the nice plates.
Nikto
Frankly, a weirdo. Still, that applies to most people in the wastes. Compared to them, I'm glad he's on the more agreeable side. Strong bodyguard I'd definitely hire if our schedules lined up. Definitely be a big help going through Hill People lands. But man... this fucker needs to get some sense! What do you mean "I'll guard people for free if the company's good"!? This damn guy's just asking to get ripped off! Don't undersell yourself, dumbass. You're strong as hell, so ask a good price.
Recommended Meal: Doesn't seem picky. A few of my shish kabob specials ought to do 'em.
H0P3
Another member of the Triangle, but she's definitely one of the worst. Her prices are fucking nuts, and I can't support that kind of scam. I can understand not selling yourself short, but this is something else completely. Doctors are a rare breed out in the wastelands, and having one of them cost you an arm and a leg just to fix up the other arm and leg is sickening. There's a special place in hell for people like that. Glad I don't see her that much.
Dateable?: Fuck no.
Recommended Meal: A bullet.
Dr. Charles Crane
And on the other end of the spectrum from Hope, a good doctor. Got a good head on his shoulders and is damn skilled. If I got hurt in the wild out there, he'd the one I'd be most relieved to see coming to fix me up. Being a doctor lets you see the worst in the people, and he hasn't let that break him. Real respectable. Just don't tell him I said any of that. Guy's got this kind of smug aura to him that annoys me to hell.
Recommended Meal: Grilled garlic butter lamb chops with a side of mudfruit sauce (Despite the name, it's a really tasty fruit. Trust me.).
Sage
A girl on the run makes my protective instincts kick in, but she's one of the people who needs protection the least. One of those animal tamers, which is funny to see from a bot. I don't know much about her, but if she were offering protection, she'd be high on my list of people I'd want as a bodyguard.
Dateable?: Maybe one date, but I got a feeling she swings for the other other team.
Recommended Meal: The Shockmaster (Robots are hard to cook for, but I've got this brew of chemical stuffs I got sitting in the back room that works well. Stir them together until it turns blue, toss in a battery, and watch it start to glow. Would never give it to someone with skin and bone, but bots say it feels good to stick their fingers into.)
She is not a bot, she's not a bot, she's not a bot. Holy hell I poisoned an innocent girl.
Recommended Meal: Carnitas de puerco served with rice, beans, avocado slices and spicy sauce... and a plate of sopapillas afterwards on the house as an apology.
Nymphs
Back when I was a lot younger and dumber, I tried cutting through their neck of the jungle to save time on my route. I got real lucky when they got more interested in the food I had in my bag than making me their dinner. Got out of there alive, and I'm never going back if I can help it. Kindness is a very rare and precious thing to find in the wastes, so people like these that prey on what little kindness people got left is some of the worst shit I can think of. They're the kind of people that give mutants a bad name.
Dateable?: Fuck no.
Recommended Meal: A molotov.
Mike the Driver
One of the best ways to make money out here in the wastes. I'd put him right below Crane in how much good he does for people. Helping people get through these savage lands unscathed is the kind of service that deserves a medal. I've got my own rig so I haven't needed to use his services, but I definitely would if it came to it. Hope he's a good judge of character, because I'd hate to see someone else driving his machine because they pretended to be a customer before popping him in the back of the head.
Recommended Meal: Baked beans, brown rice, fried eggs, and grilled asparagus. Also some dried meats for the road.
Ricky Booth
A frequent business partner of mine. Talks a big game, but he's earned it with how quick his deliveries are. Just needs to learn to not run his mouth too much and to learn where he's sticking that noodle between his knees. It seems like every time he's in the restaurant, someone shows up with a shotgun because he slept with their wife. Guy really needs to start making sure he's only going after single girls. He could do that as much as he wants. But other people's girls? Fucked up. I'd pull my gun on him too if I found out he was with my girl. Anyway, he's one of those people so enamored by their rig that they name it, which I find kinda creepy if I'm being honest with ya. Claims it's his only love, so sorry, ladies. Really, if he just learned to clean up his act and act his age, he'd be much better off. You're not sixteen anymore!
Recommended Meal: Super-stuffed XL beef and bean burrito. Guy's always on the move, so he needs a free hand. Light on the spice because I got a feeling he's a wimp in that department.
Yuki Kikuchi
Wait, that's her real name? I thought it was a fake one she made up because she thought it sounded cool. What kind of dumbass fucking name is that? Oh, she's one of them bunker folk? Now it all makes sense. Lotta them are real weirdos, but thankfully she seems more mild than some of the others I've seen from those places. Nice girl, but has the attention span of a fish. Always off somewhere going on adventures and all that. I think she's got main character syndrome.
Dateable?: Yeah, but she's a bit too handsy. If she wasn't always on the move, I'd be more interested.
Recommended Meal: Probably picks the weirdest thing on the menu as a culinary adventure, so a giant grilled roach on a stick and the mystery stuffed crab claw (I usually throw whatever good leftovers I have left in there).
Ultra Magnus
You'd think this guy was a bot roaming around if you ran into him randomly. Nope, just a big dude in an even bigger suit. He's a combat freak who can't get enough of it. A red flag, but he always aims his sword at the "bad guys", so I'll hold my tongue on that point. I dunno, something about him make me suspicious. Maybe it's the chainsword. The religious types like him can either be the nicest or the craziest people out there, so excuse me for being cautious. I could just be overreacting, but I'd rather be overly prepared than underprepared. If he is as good of a guy as he claims, then I'll eat my words.
Okay, I've met the guy now. He's not as bad as I feared. Still don't ever want to get on his bad side. Northerners are just as weird as I've heard, though. If we keep getting more of them coming down our way, maybe I should start picking up the language. Hm... Krimiaras? Did I say that right?
Recommended Meal: Big guy needs a big meal. Extra large bowl of pasta with minced meat and a loaf of garlic bread.
Lockley Aimes
A bit of an anomaly, this one. Seems like a greenhorn, but at the same time she's got something behind her eyes that hint at more experience than she lets on. From what I've heard, she's actually pretty successful as a scavenger, like a treasure hunter of sorts. Although... she seems like she'd be a pushover. I should keep an eye on her. Ricky's taking a liking to her, so I'll be sure that bastard keeps his hands to himself around her.
Dateable?: Definitely, but there's some problems with that. She's real cute, but I don't think she's looking for someone right now even if she did swing that way and I'm not about to force it. Maybe some day if that bird wants to take a break from flying and make a nest in my neck of the woods.
Recommended Meal: One of my mom's favorites to make, arroz con pollo. Can't go wrong with it.
Heli Matharom
Head of her own group of mercs, and one I've employed before. They do good work and work well together. Can't help but notice she's more at home in the wilds than a city. Probably a story to that, but it ain't my business. All I need to know is she can help me get to point A to point B and she sure as hell does that. Five stars, will be looking to hire her again.
No quiero volver a ver esas colinas nunca más. Okay... despite everything that happened, they definitely did their job. Heli even helped tune up my buggy afterwards. I'll definitely be recommending them to people looking for a merc group to hire. I just wish she wouldn't be so fucking condescending all the time. Is it because I'm short? It's my height, huh? Bitch.
Dateable?: Yeah, but I don't think she'd be into me. I don't think she likes my type, not to mention I'm pretty sure she's more hot under the collar for mutants than humans, so I'd have my work cut out for me in that department as well.
Recommended Meal: After an experience like that, we all deserve a good meal. Steak ranchero with the good sauce I hardly ever bust out.
Samson
Now that's a big guy. Grouped up with the Nymphs at some point after my run-in with them, so I haven't met him. A damn shame too, because I've heard he's really not that bad of a guy. They just got him so tightly wrapped around their fingers they're turning purple. I don't want to say he's a lost cause, but it ain't a cause I can see myself fighting for. He's happy with them and not getting hurt, just doing nasty stuff for them because he only thinks with his lower half.
Recommended Meal: Crispy deep-fried human ribcage with a tangy sauce. Bone-in because he looks like he likes his meals crunchy.
Nick
Probably the biggest dork in the wastelands. May also be the stupidest, but he's got a lot of competition for that title. Again, I can't wrap my head around people who like to go out and find people to fight just for the fun of it. It's the dumbest shit. Stay safe, idiot! You don't even have a weapon! "My body is my weapon." I can already see him say it. And then he strikes a pose and breaks something to show off his strength. And then I get migraine.
Recommended Meal: The Spice Lord's Challenge. I'm pretty sure once he sees that on the menu, all other thoughts will leave his head.
Dr. Remilia Rochefort
Can't go wrong with more doctors. Just wish this one was more of a physical injury focused doctor than a mental one. Still, beggars can't be choosers. I'm sure she's well qualified to handle injuries that aren't extremely dire. I like how much of a people person she is, but man she's easy to set off, too. I guess I'd be a hypocrite if I criticized her too much for that.
Dateable?: If she was into girls, maybe. She's friendly and smart, but... man that haircut ruins it. It really doesn't look good on her. The fade into thick curled sideburns? Goofy.
Recommended Meal: Clam chowder in a bread bowl and a Caesar salad. Why? Feels like she'd like it for some reason.
Georgia Dolittle
Hallelujah, another doctor coming up to my area of the wastes. Never gets old. I've never seen someone handle animals as well as this girl. I normally don't allow animals inside the restaurant, but if hers are very well behaved as I've heard, I could make an exception. Well, her wolf still has to sit outside, but that's for space reasons. If any of them make a mess, though, that's the end of my rope.
Dateable?: Possibly, but I don't even know if she swings that way. Plus if my gut instincts are right, then I probably shouldn't. Dating a pregnant girl is a lot of baggage I don't think I can handle.
Recommended Meal: Pork chops, cheesy potatoes, and buttered peas. The wolf gets the Raider Special (see above), the ape gets a fruit salad, the pig gets a roasted seed mix, and the bird gets some grilled rabbit.
Quinn Chase, A.K.A. The Boss
Every bunker baby is a weirdo, but this guy's a special breed. Instead of meandering about like most of them do when they were forced into the outside world, first thing this guy did? Start a gang. Then started beating people up. Unlike the other guys who go looking for fights for fun, I got a feeling this guy's doing it for different reasons. He's already loaded, so it's not like he needs to rob people, so I think it's a fetish thing. Almost glad I'm a weakling so I'm not in this guy's line of sight.
Recommended Meal: Lobster bisque with part of the shell still inside. On the side, a- Oh come on, don't tell me you're doing the Spice Lord's Challenge too. I worked hard on this meal!
Lance
Host of my radio station of choice and a true patrician of the culinary arts. By that I mean he really likes my food, which makes him a good guy in my eyes. He's where I get so much of my info about the other people in the wastes and his stories are entertaining. There's a reason I'm willing to go out of my way to make a delivery to his place during my Trade Triangle runs: He's just a nice fellow to be around. I owe a lot of my business to him for his ad deal, and I make sure I show how grateful I am with the meals I supply him.
Recommended Meal: Marinated skirt steak and shrimp, sautéed in a la diabla sauce and served with rice, beans, and guacamole. Just like mom used to make.
Moon NazisJames Nauer, Thomas Hammerer, Harrison Teaford, Jonathan Stampe, Richard Major
More proof about how all bunker babies are weirdos. They just go around in their big fancy air machine waving their dicks every which way to scare people into trading with them. I mean sure, I don't want to be on the barrel side of their gun, but it doesn't mean I have to respect their methods. The fact they're open racist too doesn't help their case.
Recommended Meal: Bratwurst baked in a sheet pan with potatoes and veggies.
Marcus "Marc" Cassius Allen
That Killfuck Soulshitter guy? Crazy bastard. So much so I'm pretty sure he's a bunker baby. Anyone who legitimately thinks this guy is from the past goes in the looney bin, no exceptions. If he's just playing everyone the fool for a joke, then that's even worse somehow. At least he ain't a raider.
Recommended Meal: Buffalo meatballs with onions and breadcrumbs with mashed potatoes for the side.
C.C.A.M.U. (Amu for short)
Damn, I don't know what I'd do if I woke up and everything I had was suddenly gone. Girl's doing her best to rebuild from scratch. Haven't met her myself, but we'll either get along like peas and carrots or be at each other's throats. Guess it just depends on how well I take the colorful language she throws out. I know I can be a hot head sometimes, but we'll see. There's a possibility we learn to talk shit with each other rather than against each other.
Dateable?: Mmmmmaybe. A solid maybe. I need to meet her. Also don't know how she feels about other girls. If I feel like it's worth pushing past her attitude and the end goal is accomplishable, then I can change this to a yes.
Recommended Meal: I don't really have a whole lot to offer bots. Would it be lazy to recommend the Shockmaster again? Every bot I've served it to liked it.
Calliope, Rocker of the Ruins
Kind of a freaky bitch if I'm being honest with ya. Sure she can be nice, and plays some good tunes, but the obsession with gore and killing is pretty much the biggest red flag I can think of. Yeah, I can "rock out" sometimes if the mood is right, but there's a line, you know? I like her style, though. Clothing-wise. I don't want to wear it, but I like looking at it.
I swear to God if that girl comes in with another story about how she hooked up with another raider again, she's shoot on sight. I'm running a family restaurant! I don't need that kind of shit in here! Save it for your raider buddies! ...Dammit, now I'm gonna be thinking about that shit all night.
Dateable?: No. I don't think she's looking for anything serious and the whole love of killing thing is a big turn off. Shame because she's got a cute face.
Recommended Meal: Boneless chicken breast sliced and sautéed in a special sauce with mushrooms, onions and tomatoes. A side of brown rice.
Isha, Princess of the Verzon Tribe
Now this is someone very much out of their element. They look and act like they were pulled out of a fairy tale book. Can't imagine what kind of place she was living in until now that she don't even know what a radio is. Wish I could help her out with her problem, but best I can do is point her towards one of the doctors and hope they got what she needs. If it comes to the point where she needs to go to Hope... I'll lend her a hand with dealing with that bot. It may be cute to see her be so curious about tech, but if she tries to lay a hand on any of my stuff like she has been with some of those towers, then I'm sending her on her way. I need to hear Rumors of the Wastes, dammit!
Man, why am I such a sucker for sad tales? Now I'm babysitting an overgrown child and going through the worst parts of the jungle. At least we're making good time, but I never want to see a Blackheart again. That pipe bomb damn near shredded through my cargo.
Dateable?: No. She's made it real clear what her whole thing is about. She's definitely into men and more than one at once. Not judging, though. More girls for me.
Recommended Meal: Probably never had seafood in her life. Fried fresh whole red snapper. Sautéed shrimp and a salad for the sides.
Karnak
Yeah, I put his radio station on in the restaurant sometimes. Kinda interesting to hear what's going on on that side of things. Plus he plays good music. Some people don't like it, but I own the radio, so I get to choose what we listen to. Now, I wouldn't ever want to meet him in person. I don't have anything against mutants, but I feel like he'd rip my head off and offer it to Ramses as a gift. Maybe some good food would be enough to make him think twice about that.
Recommended Meal: (Human) Liver and onions. Steamed green beans on the side for variety of flavor.
Aaron Cob A.K.A. The Ant King
No, I'm not yelling it. A "hero" type that goes around beating up raiders with his oversized ant farm at his side. Very loud fellow who loves making poses, but I guess he's relatively harmless. That's why he's called El Ultimo Jobber. Extra hilarious since he doesn't know what that means. Guarantee you he doesn't speak a lick of Spanish. Also, god damn I do not understand how he go out into the desert wearing the equivalent of a gimp suit. How is he not boiling alive?
Recommended Meal: A fan of maize, so some elote with that new spice mix I've been working on. Not sure what ants eat, but I'll just give them whatever fruits I got laying around and see if they're into it.
Hannah Ossus
Hold on, I need a cold glass of water. Ahh, much better. Okay, she's a real sweet girl who doesn't know what she wants out of life. Brings out my maternal instinct, but she could snap a tree in half if it looked at her wrong and crush a skull with just one hand. And she's got this horn that comes out when she's angry and she's built like a- Lord have mercy, I need more fucking water.
Dateable?: Definitely yes, but I feel like her wanderlust would make things difficult. Besides, I've seen how she looks at other people. She likes 'em big and I... That ain't me.
Recommended Meal: One of my favorites, stuffed peppers. It's something I like making for myself when I'm not sure what I want.
Brunnea "Sunny" Brown
Another raider causing trouble in the wasteland. This one, though, is willing to go after people on trade routes. In my eyes, this makes him ballsier and stupider than most raiders. You really don't want to piss off the Trade Triangle too much. If he keeps stirring this pot, I give him another month before he's dead in a ditch. Also heard he's afraid of women, which is... probably the funniest thing I've ever fucking heard.
Recommended Meal: Seems too up his own ass for the Raider Special, so a T-bone steak with a side of fried eggs and sausage. His pets each get a bowl of cubed meat with an animal-safe gravy.
Alexander S. Luthor
Another bunker baby vying for the top spot over in the green zone. I never really paid too much attention to the politics going on over there, but it's really funny how much they try to ignore the I.R.S. and the army base. If he actually starts making waves, then I'll have something interesting to say.
Recommended Meal: A big double bacon cheese burger, just like the pre-war Americans would have wanted it.
Magnus Wang
Alright, seriously, what's going on with the people up north? All the people coming from there are buff dudes with really fucking strange outfits. And they're both named Magnus? Do they just have a short list of names everyone agrees to pick from up there or is there something more going on? Either way, I don't know about this guy. Seems shady. I mean, look at that guy's left forearm and tell me he doesn't do drugs.
Recommended Meal: Might as well recommend more pasta for the other northerner. A hearty amount of steamed veggies on the side and how about... topped with sfilacci.
Maya Liang
Man, not even raiders deserve what's happened to this girl. The jungle is full of shit that will chew you up and spit you out, and she's a prime example of that. I'm not even sure how she's still standing on her own like that. Dammit, my maternal instincts are kicking in again. I may have a bias against most bunker babies, but... man, I can't leave her starving like that. I'm a chef, dammit! If I can't help someone who needs food, what good am I for!?
Dateable?: Not right now. This girl needs help, not a girlfriend.
Recommended Meal: She needs a bit of everything, so I'm recommending the molcajete mixto. A combination of shrimp, beef, chicken, chorizo and grilled cactus accompanied with sautéed mushrooms, green onions, jalapeños toreados, and tomatoes with my special tomatillo spicy sauce. Topped with Monterey jack cheese, Mexican cheese and avocado slices all put into one bowl.
Lin
Oh great, another one to add to the ever-growing pile of fighting freaks. At least this one's pleasant on the eyes. Do you think she's willing to work as a bodyguard for a while? For some reason, she feels like the type who'd do it for a while and then leave suddenly because "their journey awaits them." Maybe I'm biased because of people like Nick. Either way, nice gal who I'd like to see step inside the restaurant some time.
Dateable?: Nnnnnnno... I like strong girls, and she really checks those boxes. Unfortunately, she seems like she's married to the blade. Probably straight too. Damn.
Recommended Meal: The fajita salad. Mixed green salad topped with steak and chicken, garnished with tomatoes, mushrooms, onions and avocado slices.
Chloe
You never know what could happen in the wasteland. One minute you're enjoying life as normal, and the next you're without a home or family because of a flood. God, this kid's had it real real rough going and my heart goes out to her. A skittish little girl shouldn't be out on their own, let alone in such close proximity to so many gangs. Fuck, it sucks to be a bleeding heart in this world. If she ever makes her way over to Goldacres, I'll find a place for her to stay, even if I need to sleep on the couch to do it. Maybe I'll run into her during my next run to Port Steel... if it's not too late by then.
Recommended Meal: A lot of kids are picky eaters, so I'll go with something safe. A grilled ham and cheese sandwich and a bowl of chicken noodle soup. A classic for a reason.
Phi
Okay, I don't believe Soulshit Fuckface is from pre-war, but I'm more willing to believe a bot could be. She looks like the joker card I sometimes see in packs of decks, and it doesn't look bad on her, honestly. Acts silly and goofy, but at the same time is a literal killing machine. The combo don't feel good in my gut. It's like psycho behavior. Lull you into a false sense of security and then cut you down when you're not expecting it. If she ever comes over here, I'm keeping my eye on her.
Dateable?: Would. Nah. Seems too two-faced to really try anything with like that. Or is two-faced the right word? Ah, whatever. Still, no.
Recommended Meal: Oh! I remembered something else I got for bots on my menu! There's a mix I was trying out that... oh no wait, that's what I was serving before I made the Shockmaster. Dammit, is my menu really this limited for bots? I need to start brewing up some ideas.
Billy Kido
The way this guy's talked about on Rumors of the Wastes, you'd think he's death incarnate. Fast enough to deflect bullets, cuts through people and walls like they weren't even there, and does it with a blade you can't even see from forty paces away... Ugh, I hope that son of a bitch doesn't ever come this way. Gives me the willies even thinking about it.
Recommended Meal: You think a guy associated with the Grim Reaper would like funeral potatoes or is that too on the nose?
Tuma
Now, I don't got anything against mutants in general, but when it comes to the ones that live out in the ocean, those are pretty scary folk. But usually they keep to themselves and their territory, so when one starts heading out into the wastes for no obvious reason, it makes you wonder what's going on with them. If she's just out and about doing her own thing, that's fine. People can do what they want. But if she's gonna cause trouble, I don't think doing it on land is the smartest choice.
Dateable?: Ehhhh... I'd have to meet her to make a decision on this one. Lotta human haters among mutants. But who knows, maybe she's cute under all those robes she's hiding her face with.
Recommended Meal: Some surf and turf to give her a taste of new and familiar. Steak and crab legs with lemon slices and a little cup of butter to dip.
V.I.C.T.O.R. (Virtual Intelligent Cowboy Tactical Offense Robot)
This is the kind of bot people think of when they hear the term "clanker". Good guy, though, if pretty cheesy with his words. People like him and I can see why if the tales about him are true. Always nice to have actual good folks around protecting people... but you can never be too sure, you know? He's from the University, and that place is full of crack pots. Old Victor could have a switch in him just waiting to get flipped and make him start gunning everyone down. Paranoid? Definitely, but there's always a catch when it comes to people who seem too good to be true.
Recommended Meal: Maybe there's another way to serve electricity to bots as a meal? I could offer them the outlet, but that feels demeaning. Battery wrapped in copper wire? Nah, that's way too expensive.
David "Profit" Wiles, the Leader of the Sunset Circuit
Well yee-haw to you too, ya damn playboy. Another reason I'm glad I don't go for men, guys like this who jump from girl to girl telling them they're the love of his life and doesn't take no for an answer. He's just as bad as Ricky in that sense. Anyway, guy's trying to live his life like one of those old western stories from prewar. Not a bad choice per se, since he is actually turning in bounties. Fits firmly in the group of people I consider the "not evil jackasses". Way too many of those, but they're much more preferable to the normal evil jackasses.
Recommended Meal: For the quintessential cowboy, a cowboy classic. Barbecued rattlesnake and a bowl of chili con carne.
Dimir Leksirei
Do I really need more evidence that all bunker babies are weirdos? I mean yeah he's a doctor and I love more of those around, but the way he goes on about "the blessing of steel" is... well, I don't think I need to tell you. If mutants take over, at least I can still have a job as a chef if I beg for my life. If robots take over? They don't eat food! I'm screwed!
That was a joke, by the way. You could have laughed if you wanted to. No? Fuck you too.
Recommended Meal: I don't know if he can still eat food, but if he can, then something that won't get accidentally slip into his joints to rot. Some baked buffalo wings, light on the sauce so it doesn't drip off the meat and a leafy salad on the side.
Dr. Acheron
Another one of Ramses' cronies. Only heard about him vaguely in Karnak's ramblings, but he sounds like the tech man for the mutant side. Karnak's always going off about "purifying the world" and all that by knocking humans off their perch, but I wonder what the guy's gotta say about bots? Not like they're the top dogs either, but I really can't see them wanting to work together. The fact they got a tech guy at all is something I wouldn't-a expected. Anyway, since he's working with Ramses, there's a high likelihood he's in the "really should avoid meeting this guy if I want to stay alive" section of people in the wastes.
Recommended Meal: Don't say octopus, don't say octopus, don't say octopus... Fettuccine alfredo and some crispy roasted mini potatoes.
Queen Bee
If there was a competition on who's had the most sex in the wasteland, QB here would be... I'll say top ten just because she ain't that old. If you got a pulse and don't look like a pile of manure she's ready to jump your bones. We even had a drink together once and... I'm glad I know how to stick to my guns and that even as a raider she knows how to take no for an answer because that was way too close for comfort. Even besides her reputation for her hanky panky record, she ain't a girl you want to mess with. I don't even know where she hides all those knives but I've seen her put more holes in a man than an old piece of Swiss cheese before he could even pull his gun out.
Dateable?: That outfit's just cheating... No, I can't. QB ain't looking for anything serious and I want a girl who'll settle down and stay with me through thick and thin. Not saying she's unreliable, but... she's ain't one to stick around when she gets bored.
Recommended Meal: Honey baked ham with some grilled slices of pineapple and a bread roll.
Sir Philippe Dubois of New Orleans
I've heard New Orleans is doing real well as of late, partly in thanks to this fellow here. Now that's great and all, and I do wish we could get that kind of safety going on in these parts, but this ain't New Orleans. The wasteland over here? It chews up and spits out people who come here expecting to become a local legend just because they're a big fish in a small pond where they're from. This is the big leagues. Until I start seeing results? Well, I won't be surprised to see a rusted set of armor being picked apart for scraps on the side of the road.
Recommended Meal: With a name like that, he's gotta have some French in his blood, right? Would be a good opportunity to test out some of them French meals in my old cookbooks to see if it stacks up. I'll go with beef bourguignon and a tuna niçoise salad.
Squire Marie Lonelle
Right, the knight's little buddy. Not nearly as talked about, but I can respect the people who support the big names from behind. Don't know much about her, but she's from down south too. Sure hope they know what they're doing heading over to Hill People territory. Those fuckers don't take well to people from outside their narrow view of home, and the Frenchie definitely fits into their definition of foreigner. Hey, if the rumors about these two end up being true, more power to them. May they wipe out all those hill freaks and make my job so much easier and less stressful.
Dateable?: I think so. Like I said, don't know much about her, but she can't be real bad folk if she's a companion with a knight wannabe. Plus, if she speaks French... well, it's the language of love for a reason, right?
Recommended Meal: Beef galantine, a croissant, and... well, one of the Glamourzons traded over some giant frogs recently, so I can try out some frog leg meat as an appetizer.
Kara Ramirez
Just another girl trying to survive in this wasteland and stay out of the way. Makes a decent meal and that's about all she's got to say about herself. Is a bitch to people for no reason because that's how she was brought up. Puts up a tough front that probably doesn't convince anyone.
Dateable?: ...No.
Recommended Meal: Leftovers.