To be 17 again. Ch. 2.

To be 17 again
after living for a century,
it’s like trying to decipher symbols
without being a competent scholar.
-Violeta Parra, Volver a los 17.

Mio walked home by herself, humming a happy song. She took a little detour, passing by a pastry shop and looking through the window at all the sweets in display.

“Anon won’t mind if I give myself a little treat, right?” Mio wondered, but Anon’s concern for her to eat well resonated in her head.
Finally, she looked away and went on her way, thinking of Anon.

“Actually, why do I mind what he has to say?” Mio reasoned to herself. “I can eat whatever I want!” And yet, her heart wouldn’t yield no matter what take she gave to the idea. Walking absent mindedly, Mio found herself in an unknown street, snapping back to reality. She began retracing her steps to get back on the way home, but a makeshift bookshop on a kiosk caught her eye. There were plenty of books on display, from fantasy, police novels, some about romance and even manga. An old man in a blue shirt greeted her and invited her to keep looking to see if anything caught her eye. Mio glanced over a book a few times with a rather lewd cover, showing a man kissing the neck of a woman who was taking off her dress, showing her bare back. The novel was called “The Teacher.” Mio couldn’t take her eyes off it, yet kept trying to pretend she wasn’t looking at it. Making a gesture to leave, the owner of the kiosk was about to say goodbye, but Mio turned around almost immediately, picking up the book that had been staring back at her and reading the back.

“The Teacher, C.S.S’s great novel…”

The first paragraph talked about the author, his life, his earlier works, his prose and so on, the second one caught Mio’s eye.

“A young student named E falls in love with his literature teacher, Miss D. Despite being almost half her age and Miss D being married, E can’t take her off his eyes and does everything in his power to win her over, even if he fails in the process.”

Mio almost began reading the book right there, but a dog’s bark reminded her she had to get home. She paid for the book with a bit of embarrassment, bowed, and left.

~*~

Her channel was growing steadily, she would break her milestone in no time.

You kept rewatching Mio’s last stream, she did well for herself and had plenty of cute moments that clip channels would later make dumb clickbaity titles with. The chat you had moderated was mostly civil, with a few dumb shits trying to be funny and even some suppas you had to shut off screen. Mio’s growth was bound to bring these kind of people, but you were there, no matter what happened. You stopped the stream and left your phone charging for the next day. Cover was marveled with your performance and told you that you might be transferred to a different, more difficult talent, while Mio’s chat and the other talents’ in general would be moderated by a newly established unit. Mio would be left to fend off for herself and turn to you for help if she needed.

The idea made you uneasy. You thought that your friendship with Mio was going to end there, short lived like a match burning in the darkness. Yet, you had to rationalize the situation to feel at ease. You were a professional, after all. You shouldn’t get this attached to the talents. Fubuki’s little chat came back to your head. Was she joking? Or perhaps she wasn’t, and your little chance was over already. Mio was happy, and that made you happy.

“I just hope we can remain friends.” You thought, as you heard gentle sound coming from outside. The first rain of fall had set in, lasting only a few minutes. Staring out your windows, sprinkled with raindrops that fell down, you felt a chain creeping up your legs.

~*~

“Miss D stared at her student, who was visibly tired, as if he had just come from a terrible fistfight, barely holding back tears. There he stood on her doorway while some smooth jazz played from her living room, making the silence all the more heavy between the two.

“I made it a promise to myself…” D began speaking. “That if I didn’t ask you to have sex with me today, I’d kill myself.” As faint smile brushed his face, he turned around to face the setting sun and leave, but he felt a slim, delicate hand on his shoulder.”

Mio bit her fingers while reading the novel, during her breaks and before sleeping she had become addicted to it. The premise was simple enough, but the execution was what made it so good. Miss D, who cared for her student with a below-average performance, E, who yearned to confess his love to the woman who had believed in him and supported him, regardless of what the others would say, even if he got killed, as he put it, by a single punch from her husband. Mio passed the page, barely able to contain her anxiousness, knowing she was about to get to the good part.

“Why go to such a extreme?” Asked Miss D, as she gently rubbed her student’s shoulder.

“Because I thought that if I didn’t have the guts to say it at the very least, then I didn’t want to go on living.”

Miss D stared at the poor boy, not a single hint of shame in his eyes, but rather, of relief. His ultimatum had taken a toll on his mental state, she saw too that he was serious about it.

“Even now, I couldn’t ask you.” Sulked E, before he felt Miss D’s arms wrap around him, slowly pulling him closer. His beloved teacher was looking at him without anger, but rather, with compassion. E felt her soft breath on his face, as an o formed in her lips. E’s heart raced, before realizing his opportunity and leaning in closer to-”

Mio’s heart began beating faster with each sentence, but the loud slamming of a door made her put the book under the bed in a hurry and get up, pretending to wake up from a nap. Her husband was in the kitchen and Mio gave her usual welcome, this time with a plastic tone which he didn’t notice.

“What’s for dinner?” He asked without returning the greeting. Mio opened the fridge to see what she could make, going over her mental notes of what she had made in the past few days.

“I haven’t cooked yet, I just got home, and I was really tired.” She lied, but in truth, she was about to cook anyways, something for Anon, at least.

Her husband fumed, giving Mio a spiteful glare.

“The one thing that I need you to do.” He spoke. “And you can’t wait for me with a plate of warm food.”

Mio’s felt herself getting hotheaded. Right there and then she could’ve thrown the pot she was holding towards him and blow up, so many pent-up feelings, so many repressed emotions. She wanted to yell. “How can you say something like that when you don’t even eat what I make for you! Go ask your girlfriend to cook for you!” but in the end, she clenched her fist and cooked quietly, almost at the point she would tear up. As she cracked the eggs onto the pan, she felt a small needle in her heart that let up after thinking what to make for you.

Her husband fell asleep in front of the TV without eating, so Mio packed both your lunches. Her husband would probably eat out tomorrow anyways. She got in the cold bed by herself. Staring at the ceiling, she rummaged over her thoughts.

“How did I end up like this?” She asked herself. She knew the answer. Out of college, she wanted to marry a guy whom her parents didn’t approve of, instead they set her up with…him. An accountant, a profession that could uphold a household. Her mother was tyrannical about it too, tearing down her own confidence so she would think she wouldn’t get anything better. Her mother passed away without seeing any grandchildren, and even then, she thought of blaming Mio.

And now here she was, the streamer wife of a man who held lowly positions at his new workplace because he compromised his company’s taxes out of greed and spite years ago, barely avoiding jailtime. He was earning a decent amount of cash but nowhere near to what Mio’s mother projected on him. Most of the house supplies were bought by Mio, a few bills were paid by her husband alongside half of the rent. She wished her mother could see where she was now, cheated on, unhappy, childless, and yet more successful than her mother ever thought she would be, but perhaps too late in life for it to make a difference.

Mio felt as if being swallowed by a fog, that quickly dissipated. She had found something to smile about in her life, after all. Even if it was to remain purely platonic.

"Not that I'd mind if Anon..." She thought, while hugging herself. "I mean, it's only fair. Right?"

Mio grabbed her phone and took a quick glance at her channel. Her sub count grew greatly after her last stream, but still hadn't broken the milestone she wanted. Short by a few thousand. Still she felt proud, and also happy because she wouldn't have done it without Anon.

Mio pulled her book from down the bed once more and turned on her bedside lamp to keep reading. The scene presented accelerated her heart.

“Miss D took a long drag of her cigarette while E caught his breath, looking at his teacher’s bare, naked body. A feeling of dread washed him over, thinking he came up short for his first time almost making him want to cry.

Miss D picked up on his mood rather quickly, so she put him at ease caressing his cheeks with her free hand, and kissing his heart with her words.

‘Don’t beat yourself over it, young man. You’ll learn as we go, and I’ll be your teacher’ ”

“How scandalous!” Thought Mio, grinning at the following chapters.

~*~

Once the morning came, the sun did too. Mio had reached her set subscriber milestone by the time you were awake, overseas fans caught the stream during their day and gave her a boost in subs. A smile brushed your face briefly, before you saw the time and realized you would be late. With a quick shower, no time for breakfast, your shirt sticking out of your pants and a barely tied tie, you ran for the office once more, but making one stop regardless, one that you needed to make according to your heart. 12 minutes late thanks to the green stoplights and respectful drivers at the crosswalks. No one seemed to notice.

You greeted your coworkers as you passed them and got to work. The hours passed quickly and you didn’t see Mio. Glancing over at the little present you bought her, you began feeling a stone in your guts. “Why didn’t I check her schedule? I should’ve seen if she was coming.” You said to yourself, self-defeatingly, feeling a creeping sense of shame in your spine. What if Mio didn’t come in today? You checked her schedule, she had dance practice, but you hadn’t seen her yet. Did she call in sick? Should you call her and ask if she’s okay? Amidst your self-inflicted mental torture, a sweet voice echoed through the halls, warming your soul like the first time you heard it.

“Yes! I was so happy when I woke up…” Mio said in a sunny voice, you couldn’t listen to the rest of the conversation as it slowly became quieter, but you heard her say goodbye to someone, whom you would see as the door to your office opened slowly, Fubuki walked down the hallway, almost distracting you from Mio, who was opening the door.

“Hey Anon!” She greeted you cheerfully, barely containing her excitement. Mio’s behavior was stirring up your heart, glad to see her in such a good mood, and also, making you botch your speech.

“H-Hey Mio! I saw your channel, and, uh, your stream also. Congratulations on the subs.” You were losing sight of what you wanted to say initially, your heart pounding with anxiety as you spurted out whatever you could. “I-It was a fun stream.”

Mio’s liveliness didn’t change one bit, but after the initial confidence she had gathered while talking with Fubuki ran out, she found herself mute as well, staring at you in your chair.

“So, yeah.” You muttered.

“…Thanks for everything, Anon.” Mio finally said, extending her arms out to you, giving you a bento box as usual.

“Thanks, Mio.” You replied with kindness, but the awkward silence would not let up. Mio waved at you and turned around to leave, as she headed for the door, you felt as if this moment wouldn’t repeat itself. Your fears made way for a courage you didn’t know you had within you, so you called Mio before she reached the doorway. She turned around in surprise, mostly at your loud expression.

Your newfound courage was starting to vanish after realizing how awkward you must’ve looked, but even then, you gestured Mio towards you and handed her a brown bag with a pretty strawberry print on the center.

Mio opened the bag without hesitation and found herself a slice of black forest cake, packed inside a neat little plastic container. Her soul left her for a second, only her body listening mechanically to what you were trying to say.

“It’s a little…celebration, for reaching your sub goal.” You were trying to keep your cool as you spoke, the anxiety had disappeared, like the clouds being pierced by a ray of sunlight after the rain. “Once in a while it shouldn’t hurt, but don’t tell anyone I gave you this, alright?”

Mio almost began to cry. She left the cake on your table and looked at you, feeling fragile like a second, feeling deeply like a child before his mother’s smile. Mio stuck her arms out to you, telling you to hug her, to take her in your arms and hold her, so you quickly got up from the chair you were sitting on before swallowing your saliva, and thus, Mio embraced you, with both her arms and her tail coiling around you. You shyly grabbed her by the waist, not daring to go lower towards her hips, while Mio locked her arms around your shoulders. Had she felt more daring, she would’ve done so much more, but she too, was still chained by different fears and anxieties.

Everyday we wish for the sun to set to start anew, and yet when we feel it’s warmth, we never want it to end.

Such were the feelings you had in this moment, clutching Mio in your arms. You heard a sniffle, trying to let go and check on her, Mio held you harder. Once she finally let go, you saw her with face decorated with two strings of tears pouring from her eyes, and a sweet, beautiful smile.

“Thanks, Anon.”

You stood there, looking at Mio’s face. If there was ever a moment in which you felt exposed, naked down to your very soul, it was now. Lost in her amber eyes, you could stare at her for an eternity, feeling the comfort that rose from her kind stare, like seeing a field of flowers in spring. Neither of you could break the bond between your eyes, until a few distant footsteps in the background reminded you that you two were still at the office. Mio was about to turn away, one last time, but then she saw your terribly tied tie.

“Geez Anon, what are you, 15?” Mio mocked you in a playful tone.

You suddenly came back to your senses as Mio undid you tie and brought it behind your head, swiftly making a tight, elegant knot.

“There, much better!” She then turned away and headed for the door, you sat back down in your chair and waved each other goodbye.

You admired the knot she had made. It was perfect.

~*~

“That’s not fair, I want some cake too!” Watame pouted playfully at Mio. The girls couldn’t help but notice the elegant pastry Mio ate with delight during the coffee break. Korone whispered something to Fubuki, to which she giggled with no malice.

Mio ate her cake with pride and joy, showing it off to the others, giving them a small bite to share, but not a second one.

“Must be nice for your husband to buy you sweet things.” Okayu mumbled. Mio stopped dead on her tracks and stared at her plate with blank eyes, scared to say something to Okayu. Before anyone noticed her expression, Fubuki talked about how her husband brought her flowers after she reached 1 million subs, trying her best to shift the attention from Mio to something else, successfully letting Mio eat in peace, yet with a knot in her throat. Mentally she thanked Fubuki for what she did.

Mio had conflicted feelings, she wished she could have openly talked about Anon, but even if she was single, the workplace wouldn't allow it, they'd get Anon fired on the spot, that would mean they'd also start being more vigilant over the talents' lives outside of work, making sure there were no more workplace lovebirds.

Mio thought of her husband, but couldn't bring herself to feel a bit of pity. At some point, she'd probably walk out on him. Not to leave him for Anon but because she was sick of him and slowly she was beginning to believe she could fend off for herself. Not only that, but that there was still a chance for her to fall in love.

~*~

A few days passed.

Another day in the office was over. The sun began setting early, summer finally stepping aside to let fall take the stage. The building in which you worked was heated properly, so you didn’t bother wearing a jacket, but outside, you put on a crewneck to fend off the cold winds.

You stood outside talking with a smoking coworker about some of the stuff they saw in the day, some dumb sub made a donation equal to 100$ dollars just to say to one of the EN talents his dog died.

“I hate to silence those kind of messages, you know they need support and all, but they can’t bring down the whole mood just because of it, you know?” He took a long drag of his cigarette. You nodded in agreement, some of the shit you saw made you wonder how mentally sane the average vtuber fan was.

Some of the talents were leaving for their homes, lines of cars came to pick some of them up. Some were cabs, some were family, some their partners. You saw one of the other managers get in his car and drive away, only to stop at a corner down the street, you could tell because the sound of his engine didn't fade out in the distance. Miko exited the building, put on a coat and waved everyone goodbye as she quietly walked out of sight. You heard footsteps akin to jogging, and soon later, you heard the same car that had parker near the corner drive off, this time for real.

No one else seemed to notice, or at least, they pretended not to.

Turning a deaf ear to your coworker who was still rambling about creepy and inappropriate superchats, you looked at the cars drive off, wondering if Mio had one for herself. At the same time, your heart asked you kindly to leave as soon as you could, why would you want to see a car pick her up? Just to torture yourself more? Your last run in with her made you extremely sensible to such thoughts, yet here you were.

Not much time after, Mio exited the building, stretching her arms and greeting you with a smile. Both you and your coworker, who had finished his cigarette greeted her and left after saying goodbye to both of you. Mio stood beside you, not looking anywhere else. She tried to start some small talk about the day, the weather, and so on. Finally, she asked you the million dollar question.

“Are you waiting for someone, Anon?”

You were caught by surprise.

“I mean, I thought you would be waiting for someone.”

“N-Not really, not anymore. “

Her husband didn’t pick her up even with this weather. This is what Fubuki meant, you thought.

“Oh, well, I don’t have a car or anything.” You said.

“Me neither.”

An awkward silence ensued. Finally, you found the courage to say what you wanted to say.

“Want to talk together to the station?”

Mio smiled, and soon enough you two began walking side by side, in complete silence. You felt the need to say nothing, and so did Mio, after all, being in each other’s company was a bond in itself. Mio began feeling the change of temperature from the office to outside soon, as she realized her sweater wasn’t warm enough for a night of fall. She began rubbing her shoulders and her hands blowing on them to keep them warm, before she saw a hoodie in front of her.

You had taken it off and offered it to Mio. “If you get sick, you won’t be able to stream properly.” You told her, adding the streaming bit only to make it seem more professional, but you knew why you did it, you heart knew it and wouldn’t be fooled by you.

Mio put on the hoodie hiding her embarrassment, but also expressing the same joy she did when she talked to you. She too, felt the same as you.

“I’ll give it back once we're on the station, Anon.”

You agreed.

And so you kept walking under the streetlights, the moon being the only witness to your little gesture.

Once the time to part ways came, Mio turned to you and said nothing, looking into your eyes for something. Your cheeks were becoming a bright red, and Mio’s too, once she saw your expression. The silence between you two was starting to be less of an annoyance, and more of a little break.

“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow.” You said.

“Ah, I’m not coming in tomorrow, I only have to stream.”

“R-Right, I must’ve forgotten.”

Once more, silence, enhanced by the sounds of the station, the beeping from the machines, the footsteps and chatter of people and the sound of trains, starting, stopping.

None of you wanted to go home.

“Anon…” Mio said in a timid voice. Before you could ask, you felt her slim, soft fingers on your cheeks, still frigid from the night, burning coldly on your warm face.

Mio leaned in closer at first, looking once more into your eyes, looking for a sign of denial, anything that would tell her you didn’t want her, but all she saw was your lovestruck stare, inviting her to take you.

Mio’s lips made a small, closed o, and for a second you stopped caring about any of the consequences this could bring you. Your job meant nothing, Mio’s husband meant nothing, your insecurities meant nothing, all things paled in the shine of Mio.

You wrapped your arms around her waist, and slowly pressed your lips onto hers. Soft and warm, an absolute contrast to her freezing fingers that were slowly warming up in your face, but one that you accepted as it was. You embraced Mio harder, and her, feeling lost in your touch, feeling naked while surrounded by your arms, she grabbed your shoulders, running her hands under your arms and locked them behind your cold back. Mio’s tongue shyly tapped on your lips, as if wondering if she should try her luck so much, soon enough the tip of her tongue was greeted by yours, slowly touching each other a bit more with every second. Mio’s train arrived and stopped the two lovebirds in the midst of their passion. Both of your faces became fully red in a second, neither knew how to break away, before you quickly gave Mio a peck on her lips.

“So, I’ll see you on Friday, right?”

“Y-Yes! I-I’ll bring you something for lunch, too.”

Mio hurried to her platform and waved you goodbye, and so, you began waiting for your own train. Once you were walking on the street towards home, your body began feeling the cold weather once more.

“Ah! My…!”

~*~

Mio fell tired on her bed, letting out a long sigh. She slowly opened her eyes and indulged in her memory of what happened at the train station.

“Oh my God! Was that a dream?” Mio still couldn’t fully believe it. Giggling to herself, walking around the room excitedly, passing the mirror a few times before she noticed she was still wearing your hoodie.

“Oh, Anon’s…” Mio was beginning to feel the warmth of her own home, so she took off your garment as she felt hotter.

“I’ll return it when we see each other again.” She thought. “Hopefully he didn’t catch a cold.”

Mio clutched the hoodie in her hands, a certain scent caught her attention. She sniffed the hoodie and found traces of your cologne, mixed with a bit of sweat. She told herself mentally that that was inappropriate, before taking another whiff, then another, longer one. Mio went to the bathroom and washed her hands, not knowing why before she laid back on her bed and began sniffing your hoodie furiously. Her body was burning up, scorching herself at the scent. Her hand began running across her body, her thighs, her stomach, her breasts, imagining someone else there. She slid a hand under her shirt and began playing with her nipples, twisting them gently, pinching them, pulling them. Finally, she took off her shirt and bra. Mio massaged her left boob and tried bringing it up to her mouth, only managing to lick outside of the range of the areola. Frustrated, her fingers found solace in undoing her skirt in a hurry as she sniffed the neck of your hoodie again, where the scent of cologne and sweat was stronger.

One of the scenes from The Teacher crossed her mind, where E eats out Miss D after school in the middle of the classroom, she tries to dissuade him, slowly giving in to pleasure.

”Stop it! If we get caught, were both gonna p-pay!” Said Miss D, as her lover ripped apart her stockings, exposing her black undergarments. She grabbed a hold of his head, and could’ve easily smacked him away, but instead, she gently pulled on his hair as he moved her underwear to the side, giving her lower lips a soft kiss. Miss D sucked air through her teeth sharply, glancing quickly at the door of the classroom, trying to see a single silhouette that would ruing this moment.”

Mio sniffed your hoodie more and more, while her fingers gently caressed her sex. Her legs prompted themselves up wide apart, making an invitating gesture.

“A-Anon~ What are you doing?” Your name escaped her lips. “I-I’m all sweaty down there, d-don’t!”

Mio gently caressed her pink pearl, feeling a shiver run through her body each time. She sensations running from her love garden mixed with the musk from the hoodie she took from you in her nostrils, she started to lose herself in her fantasy, making way for loud pants in between her breaths. Her tongue licked the insides of her mouth, looking for yours, wanting to assault your mouth like she planned to in the train station, cursing the train for arriving on time and stopping your fun. Two fingers slowly made their way to her entrance, teasingly the moved them up and down her lips, Mio was getting frustrated from it, increasingly waiting for them to go in, biting her lip as she did so.

“C-Come on Anon, don’t keep me waiting~” She said as she inserted them inside slowly, relishing the feeling she felt shoot up her spine. Her body was acting unconiously, leglocking an imaginary Anon and biting his imaginary shoulders. You began thrusting in Mio’s fantasy, and she swayed her body to the rhythm of your thrusts, causing the bed to creak. Mio pushed her hips down every time her fingers moved in, imagining your touch. How those strong, gentle hands of you would grab her knees and separate her legs, how they would squeeze her thighs, she saw you kissing her legs and even her feet, sending shivers through her body, starting from the spot you kissed her at, passing all the way to her head where she’d let out a moan of ecstasy. Mio took a whiff from the piece of clothing once more, almost hearing your pelvis making her buttchecks clap. Each slap, Mio made lewder sounds, her mouth was permanently open waiting for a kiss that wouldn’t be conceived.

She turned over, sticking her butt out in the air and gave her ass a slap, before reinserting her fingers inside and masturbating once more. Mio’s nose was getting too used to the smell of the hoodie, so she cast it aside temporarily, indulging in her fantasy with her imagination.

“A-Anon! Please! I want to…” But Mio’s thought died at her mouth, too embarrassed to say it, even now.

She rubbed herself quickly, finally retaking the hoodie onto her hand and deeply inhaling its scent. Mio’s leg’s shook as she reached her orgasm, muterring your name while she bit the hoodie. Her pelvis shoot up in the air as her body kept twitching, thinking of you, doing the same, ravaging her insides in a fit of lust, cumming inside of her until it overflowed. Mio was exhausted, collapsing onto bed to catch her breath. She felt better than she had in months.

Her husband didn’t make his presence in the house that night, leaving Mio to enjoy herself with the thoughts of her lover.

Lover. This world made her feel funny. On one hand, she didn't want to be treated like a whore by the others who would think illy of an adulterous wife. On the other one, she couldn't care less about it, as long as the word "Lover" meant Anon and no one else.