haii welcum 2 anna's "easy 2 read" page, which is prob not actually easy 2 read lol. its more stream-of-consciousness or whaevar than anything structured or organized tbh. typos may or may not be correc ted, but that's part of the charm ig?? proofreading is 4 ppl who actually have their lives together and i aam decidedly NOT one of those ppl #sorrynotsorry

ushould expect lots of word salad n nonsensical bullshit here!! i call myself "bakadere" 4 a reason but honestly the reasons change depending on what mood im in and how much sunlight ive gotten that day (usually very little). sometimes its bc im stupid (affectionate) sometimes its bc i just get flustered n dumb around ppl i admire and sometimes its bc my brain just. doesnt cooperate. like a feral hamster on a hamster wheel that keeps spinning but goes absolutely nowhere. just raw cram fur fur brain noise rness nonsense's, fingrets.typingef wi Th o ut thinking ju s T . pure chaos energy flowing out thru my fingertips and into the keyboard and then into the screen and then into ur eyeballs and THEN ur brain goess hmmm yes this is predic table behafior from anna once again!

anyway im anna, but u may also call me vivian or lycia (ordered by preference)! im 20 years old an i use she/it pronouns only. d0n't use they/them 4 me EVER unless like ur literally talking abt me in third person n dont know me at all i guess but even then pls just. pick one. she or it. its not that hard i prommy . :)

• my brain is a concoction of mental issues n neurodivergent label soup = adhd + autism + bpd + mdd + dysthymia + probably some other stuff i forgot to mention or havent figured out yet lol. my therapist says i shouldnt pathologize myself but its literally so fun nhuuuu i love a good label stew yummers. me attempting 2 figure out my own psychology is just speaking 2 the void personally but SOMETIMESthe void speaks back and thats when things get rllly entertaining frm my perspective

as i said im a bakadere... but im also an m dere (masodere 4 u normalfigs who dont know) and an utsudere :? which for those keeping track at home means basically i am a walking contradiction of wanting to be bullied but also being Too Stupid to handle it properly while simultaneously being prone to jus t. curling up in a ball and staring at the ceiling for 3 hours straight experiencing the full weight of human existence or whatever. like the universe is squeezing my head like a stress toy and im just sitting there going "hehe kitty" while dissociating into next week. truly a sintet could study me under a microscope and find Something profoundly wrong but also kind of pathetically funny idk.

• am i ACtually STUPID tho? i mean i had my iq tested during my autism/adhd assessment a couple of years ago an it came back @ 128. which like. ok fine thats Not Stupid by conventional metrics i GUESS but also if thats true then why do i walk into rooms and forget why im there like 6 times a day. why do i put cereal in the fridge and milk in the cupboard. why do i typer whole paragraphs pay are just. not sentences. thats bc iq doesn't actually determine anything functional abt how ur brain operates on a day to day basis lol!! like cool i can recognize patterns and do math okish i guess but does that matter when i literally cannot remember if i brushed my teeth this morning or if that was yesterday. spoiler alert: it does NOT. the sexy preprocessing power of my frontal lobes apparently cant save me from putting my phone in the refrigerator which has happened TWICE this month alone ndiufhsidfhiusdfh
• supposedly iq is a flawed metric anyway and was literally designed by eugenicists or whatever so maybe i shouldnt put too much stock in a number that some dead vibing-oka y french guy came up w/ however long ago to justify being weird abt things. but then again thats also what someone w a high iq wud say to deflect accountability 4 being a Functional Disaster lfao

im a disabled adult btw! that disclaimer ish 4 the ppl who havent been able to tell from... literally everything abt me lol. like genuinely disabled not in a quirky way not in a "haha im so disabled xD" way but in a "i have genuine real world limitations that make existing in society strat shockingly difficult and sometimes i can barely get out of bed and thats just how it is" way. mentally onl;y tho im not going to pretend like have physical disabilities when i dont. like thats a whole different ballpark and i have enough self awareness to not appropriate experiences that arent mine claim to name i KN^^ow ppl who have physical disabilities and their struggles are so fundamentally different from mine in terms of how the world treats them and accesses them and shit that it would be disrespectful as hell for me to group myself in w them

• so basically what im saying is i experience debilitating crippling "lethargy" but deeply tied into brain problems first form so afectist first and foremost if that makes sense. like my body technically CAN do things its just that my brain goes "no we are not doing that today actually we are going to lay here and dissociate instead" and then my body just. complies. bcuz my brain is the one driving and my body is just the passenger seat insanely expensive ublr ride that im forced to sit in while the driver takes the absolute worst possible route to every destination ever. mah brain is like one of those gps voices that keeps recalculating except instead of rerouting efficiently it just drives me into a ditch and then goes "you have arrived at your destination" while im sitting there in the ditch surrounded by Michigan wilderness or whatever and im like HOW is this my destination rn

okok ineough about that im going to talk about social norms. i dont care about them #fuckthem and #fuckyou if u do care either lol. like genuinely i have never once in my life given a singular shit about appearing Normal or doing things The Way Society Says ur supposed to do them and???? tbh thats probably both my greatest strength AND my fatal flaw simultaneously. bc on one hand the freedom of just.. not giving a fuck is genuinely so liberating like u cannot imagine the peace that comes w just being a weird little freak all the time and not apologizing for it. ppl will be like "ugh why do u care so little" and im like girl i am HANDING u this same freedom rn its free im literally giving it aw ay for FREE and u keep refusing to take it!! like its right there!! just grab it!! but no instead they keepopt hurding themselves w all these invisible rules abt how ur supposed tioact in public or wvera abd einen insiemoutcome okay im tripping w the typhor now sorry but fro sr: the amt of ppl i see who just voluntarily cage themselves into these tiny little boxes of what's acceptable and what isnt is genuinely staggering to me. like they'll be miserable abt it too!! theyll be like "god i wish i could just say what i actually think" or "i wish i didnt have to pretend to be someone im not all the time" and im just standing there like >.> okay then??? nothing is stopping you??? like genuinely who is holding a gun to ur head and forcing you to be boring on purpose. nobody. the answer is nobody. and the shit thing is they KNOW that they just wont admit it bc admitting it wud mean they have to actually do something about it and that requires confronting the fact that theyve been complicit in their own misery this whole time. which is- yeah thats a hard pill to swallow i get it. truly i do. but like also at some point u just gotta rip the bandaid off yknow?

onto the next thing i wanted to talk about which is honestly probably gonna get me in trouble w someone somewhere but when has that ever stopped me lmao. ok so. proship. profic. im those thingies lol. ive said it countles s times on ma rentry pages so im sure u know by now. but basically my stance on it has always been that fictional stuff is fictional and people need to learn how to criticalthink about media without throwing a tantrum every time they encounter something that makes them uncomfortable. like the whole purity culture brainrot that took over online spaces is genuinely one of the most exhausting things ive ever had to witness in real time. like ppl out here acting like reading a fic with dark themes in it is tantamount to committing a felony or something and im just supposed to nod along and pretend thats a reasonable take?? no sorry im not doing that like fiscnstiction is not realitypcion detatchgment that has ans tin GOD icant stop typewing diedonn-basocally my sittanc eis squally that fictonsainton has fuch sts beenk use sowut thenWHATVR popping mberattenalso its lino whrerer doorthe u/thrint nuysilyunsep brp;s sjfestersohb andelhelink like be 4 real BRAH the moment u start policing what people are allowed to write or read or think about in fiction ur literally just doing censorship w extra steps and calling it morality. and thats wut gets me the most is the framing!! they frame it as like oh im protecting people im keeping people safe bsf u are not protecting anybody u are projecting ur own inability to regulate ur emotional responses onto strangers. >:/ and thats whats actually dangerous imo!! not the fic not the art not whatever supposedly "problematic" thing has everyones panties in a twist this week but the actual genuine threat of algorithmically enforced groupthink masquerading as ethical duty or w/e

enuf abt proship/fic things b4 some1 thinks im into DISCOURSE!!!!!! bc im not. #FUCKTHAT ANYWAYSSSS moving on lets talk abt something actually fun instead of people being weird abt fiction online. MUSIC!!!! ok so i have been on the most unhinged music rotation lately like my playlist looks like it was curated by someone experiencing 4 different mental breakdowns simultaneously across multiple genres and timelines at once. like one second im blasting black metal at a volume that is genuinely doing structural damage to my eardrums and the next im dancing to obscure post-punk from like 1983 that has 12 listens on spotify and half of them are probably me. and THEN ill suddenly switch to sum psytrance or some Breakcore or hell even industrial noise wall for twenty entire minutes because frankly nothing clears the palette quite like the aesthetic equivalent of being physically assaulted by sound itself. and u know what?? thats HEALTHY actually. dont let anyone tell u otherwise. switching between genres like that is basically emotional cross-training or w/e. keeps ur brain on its toes. prevents musical ruts. promotes mental flexibility or whatever pseudo-intellectual justification i wanna use for my chaotic listening habits lmaooo. but like genuinely tho i think people who only listen to one genre r sorely missing out?? like theres so much cool shit out there in every corner of every scene and to just... never ever explore anything outside ur comfort zone is wild to me. like ur voluntarily trapping urself in one sonic universe when theres literally entire dimensions of sound out there waiting for u. and ok i GET it btw i get being picky i get having a Specific Sound that jus u resonates w u and feels like home and u dont want anything else messing w that. thats valid!! im not tryna be a genre elitist here bc thats literally just the same boating imsseiteyn fxsporoitchen backwards pole of elitism right?? like oh ur so quirky and superior bc u only listen to shoegaze shut UP lmao. the point isnt to be better than anyone its just like. why would u voluntarily limit ur own experience like that idgi. the beauty of music is that it hitting u in a completely different way every tim e u go back to it depending on where ur at emotionally or mentally or whatever. like a song u heard a thousand times and it was jus whatever suddenly hits u like a freight train at 2am on a tuesday and ur sobbing into ur ceiling like a cheerio fiashiogkvuregv urgUh[i209uv DAMN near lungs whole holy shit this stream-of-consciousness is really just derailign entirely at this point and i dont even care bc thats kinda the beauty of it right?? like just letting ur brain go wherever it wants without editing or structuring or making it palatable for consumption. nobody asked for this and yet here we are. anyway WHERE was i going w this. i dont even know. paragraph OVR. GOODBYR!!