i will always believe we were destined to be in eachothers lives, you mean so much to me and I wouldn't trade you for anything. I get really happy when you talk about the things you like and when I get to spend time with you my day gets better. you've been there for me when no one else has, and you've heard me out when others havent. my feelings for you are strange, I describe them as queerplatonic but it doesnt feel like anything, you're just special to me. It's a love I can call "special".
i love you so much i wish to say it over and over because words cant describe it all properly, whenever I worry its overbearing, im always proven wrong. You're like the sun to me, it's so dark in here and you shine the light. I love you more than anything and I always want you to know.
I got really excited when you said goodmorning to me today
haha funny number we hit 69 days #yay
more to say more to say!! im thinking about you once more!! how shocking? im thinking alot of thoughts. i love you so much i feel like my heart is gonna burst, I feel as if I always fear coming off strongly but time and time again you've only proven its not and that you love me, its a nice feeling of happiness. my life is worth living with you in it, I feel like everything is worth it with you by my side, lately I've been so down in the dumps and even if nothing "good" happens talking with you makes my day go by way easier, I want to be around you all the time and everyday but that can't happen so I bring my N plush to as many places as I can so it's like we are! So many of my dreams have you in them lately, im very happy. It's all worth it because you're here, I want to live by your side for as long as I last, dear.
I know why i think about you so much. love. I know every reason why, yet i still cant grasp my head around it. thank you for seeing me as human all the way back then and now, youre the light that keeps me seen in this dark world, no matter what my feelings have always been the same, youre the most important person to me, forever. I think about you all day every day, I dont really care if you dont think about me the exact same way, because I know you still love me in some way, im able to keep going, you're like a safe space, my safest, I can trust you with any of my thoughts, all of my feelings, I will always trust what you say and do no matter what. Your love is really important to me, theres no real label to it!! we're partners, but i dont actually like that word. bf gf sound nice but its too romantic sounding, maybe i like the Friend part in it, partner fits because qpp, friend would fit too but Just Friends makes me tweak a little (a little
), but its not rlly romantic (queer)platonic its just. love. i hate labels on it. im "taken" by you and you alone in my head and i dont want that to change, atleast on my end. this is being written while im super tired this might not even make sense. I still remember my first memory with you, we called, I really liked your voice, still do, its kind of what sparked my tiny crush on u back then lolol, but it changed into something very big, i realized how kind you were, how you saw the world and everything, and how you saw me. you gave me hope. you still give me hope, so much hope, to live on and continue to try and be better, even when I want to give up, I keep trying because I have you in my life and I remember all the hope you've given me, I feel like sometimes I look too from afar, but i want to be by your side! i want to be by your side forever! everything you've done for me has built up into my undying love. it gets stronger and stronger. I hope we are happy forever. Even through all our years my feelings have never truly wavered, I want to spend the rest of my life by your side, id be extremely happy doing that, I hope you would be too. Please never leave my side, I will do everything in my power to make sure you are as happy as you can be around me and that I can help you through anything you trust me to help you with. ok while i was writing this i stopped and made /shadowlilys because i wanted to make a silly little ship list thingy i see other people do it i thought it was cute. I think soulmates are real and you are mine, i've only ever been certain it was you. You're my other half, even if I am my own person, you complete me, im not meant to be in this world without you in it. I've always admired you, you seem to be able to do the things I could never do, its not really a pedestal, you're just the light. I like my light. You shine real bright like all the stars in the sky at night and the sun during the day, like you're always watching over me, it's a comforting thought. My feelings have always felt confusing because I hate that romantic love is "the" love but I love you the very most more than anything but I hate that stupid label i hate stupid romantic feeligns theyve always made me feel trapped but you dont make me feel trapped, this is different, different than anything else ive ever felt, the real love ive felt all along, it doesnt need any silly labels, i just love you.
so much.
forever.
as long as im allowed.
I know I talk about loving you so much, I don't really want to apologize if it gets annoying anymore. I know my feelings, you know them too. Even if my thoughts consume me, im happy when I think about you. I'll love you no matter what you do, I'll support you no matter what, thank you for being you, you've helped me become myself too. I'm forever grateful for the love and care you've given to me, I want to give that love and care back no matter what I have to do. It doesn't feel like any chore, its as easy as breathing. You're so special to me, im happy because youre here with me, even through all my tough times, im still so happy i get to be with you, in your life. you love me, thats such a happy thought. you give me so much hope in this cruel world, I wish we could go to a happier place. You're not the only reason im alive, but a major involvement in it, I certainly wouldn't be who I am today.
I love everything about you, even your flaws, they all make you "You"! and I love you. very much.
im so tired im going to sleep now i think yawn yawn goodnight wathcme forget i wrote walls of text in 4 hours when i wake up