The Three Strangers in: Sweets and Silk - Featuring Rasmus
By: Spinarak Anon and Kiyo
The sun sets over Capim Town, calling an end to the working day. The Three Strangers, Kiyo, Cassie, and Bean, sit at a round table in the back corner of the town’s premier mulling destination, the Blue Claw Inn, doing just that. Bean sits surrounded by 4 empty wooden mugs and one half-full of frothy golden mead. Meanwhile, Kiyo uses both of his forepaws to take a careful sip of bubbly cider from a shot glass, and Cassie counts up golden coins on the table.
“Two-hundred and twenty-nine…. Two thirty,” Cassie says, slumping, “It’s… An honest living, I guess.”
Kiyo sets his drink down, and Cassie grabs it to take her turn with their booze. Kiyo frowns.
“It’s not much of a living at all. We could triple that every day if we…” He lowers his voice and checks for eavesdroppers, “Violently mugged people on the highway.”
Cassie giggles. “C’mon now. We just need enough to get by, right? Our ‘real’ job is still ongoing.” Despite herself, she sighs, “Then again, it’s been a while since we got new clothes… This girl yearns to shop.”
Bean, still a voice of reason, picks himself up and hops towards Kiyo, whispering a sagely reminder. The fox nods, regrettably.
“Yeah, yeah. Keeping a low profile is still most important. That doesn’t make it any easier to afford all your drinks though!”
Bean looks back, to his small fortress of empty beer mugs, and rubs his scalp sheepishly. The gang sit in silence for a moment, at an impasse. The silence turns to clicking, tiny pitter-patters, the location of which just couldn’t be pinned down.
“...You three look like you could use some extra work!”
The little band of thieves jump back in their seats as a frantic, green creature crawls up from the underside of their table. A few of Bean’s mugs are thrown to the ground, briefly gathering attention from the inn’s patrons.
“Oh, uh, ‘Name’s Rasmus. Pleasure and all that.”
Kiyo fakes a chuckle, hopping down to pick up the fallen mugs and divert attention. “Oh, haha! Hi Rasmus. You sure surprised us!” As soon as the crowd loses interest, he glares at the spider on his table and growls as quietly as he can, “Alright, you punk. You’ve got about three seconds before I-”
Before his threat is completed, Cassie reaches over the table and pulls the stranger to her side. “Kiyo! Don’t be such a whack job! You’ll never make new friends if you try to kill everyone we meet!”
“Y-Yeah! No need to be such a psycho! Listen to the brown one!! Besides, you’re gonna like what I gotta say!” Rasmus blurts as he scurries away from the fox.
The psycho in question squints, looking between Rasmus and Cassie, and then to Bean, who appears indifferent.
He rolls his eyes and mutters, “Okay, fine. What was that about ‘some extra work’?”
Rasmus takes a deep breath, propping himself up on his hind legs. “You’re gonna be kickin’ yourself for not thinkin ‘a this one first! So, like, Halloween’s coming up right? Pumpkins and whatever. Now I did some digging, and I found out that they’re gonna be shipping ALL of this year’s candy for store inventory tomorrow night. Now here’s the rub, right? What if WE’RE the ones who pawn that shit off instead of the penny pinchers out in the market? All we gotta do is lift the cargo without bein’ noticed, and It’ll be smooth sailing for us!”
“Wait,” Cassie says, “They’re waiting until the very night before Halloween to deliver the candy? All of it?! If we nab that package every single Pokemon’ll have to come to us for their treats!”
“Hold up,” Kiyo says, unconvinced, “Who exactly is ‘they’? The Kecleon brothers?”
“Everyone gets all their supply from the Shuckles off to the east. It spoils fast, so they need it soon, and they need it in BULK. Any other questions?”
“Yeah. Let’s say we DO successfully nab the candy supply. How do we sell it without getting caught immediately? If these Shuckles aren’t braindead they’ll report the missing goods to our wonderful local Capim Town police.”
“Already taken care of. I’ve forged the Proof of Delivery ledger, that and I’ve got a buddy of mine comin’ tomorrow. He’ll fence our shit and we’ll be home free.”
“Okay, okay. Another question. How can I be so sure this isn’t a set up? We don’t exactly have a trusting relationship.”
Bean wings into the air and lands on Kiyo’s hat. He leans down and whispers a vivid recollection of this very spinarak’s likeness on a wanted poster from a few towns away. He’s certainly not an officer of the law, and better yet, he’s a fellow thief. Despite what they might say, there is, in fact, honor among thieves. Kiyo sighs, giving in.
“Fine. So you’re a crook too. In that case, I’ve only got one more question,” he mutters, “Why cut us in? If you’re such a bigshot heister, why split the prize money four ways?”
“Because…” Rasmus grimaced. “Do I look like the kinda guy who can do all that myself? You should consider yourselves lucky!”
Cassie's been staring off into the distance with a wistful look in her eye. Now that conversation has tapered off, and Kiyo's looking disgruntledly interested in Rasmus’ plan, she pats the spider on his back and grins.
"C'mon, Kiyo," Cassie says, "Stealing all the candy before Halloween is, like, a dream job!"
He relents, with an exaggerated sigh.
"Fine. We'll go along with the job," he spits, "but there better not be any tricks."
“Heheh, I knew you’d see the light. Now listen closely fellas…”
The sun creeps down the horizon, the warm hues of the sunset blending in with the crisp autumn leaves littering the ground. One by one, the lights in the windows of Capim town slowly burn out as the world goes to sleep. And when the cats are away, the mice will play…
Said mice, the unlikely quartet of bandits, march dutifully on the east-bound dirt road with a large, ratty cloth sack and a small assortment of typical skulduggery tools. The path cuts through densely wooded forest, thick branches creating a formidable and versatile canopy overhead. Spinarak, leading the others along, stops suddenly.
“Alright!” He says, “This is far enough out, nice and sturdy branches too. Let’s get this show on the road!”
“Right!” Cassie agrees, mocking a salute. She turns off the road and steps into the brush for a moment with a hop, which is followed by the groaning, creaking sound of lumber being shredded.
Leaving the shrew to her devices, the three others begin shoveling dirt into the sack. Kiyo’s most suited for the job, so he digs out a hole with his forepaws and sends the loose soil backwards, into the bag held open by Spinarak and Bean. The spider flinches away from a bit of debris sent his way by accident.
“Hey, watch it! I’ve got enough dirt on me as is!” He complains.
“Uh huh.” Kiyo replies, to no one in particular.
Bean looks at Rasmus and shrugs, protecting his face with one wing while holding the back open with the other. “Yeesh…”
The last flakes of soil spill out of the top of the overflowing sack. After tugging at it with his silk, Rasmus gives a quick nod.
“That oughta do it! Those numbnuts won’t know what hit ‘em.”
“Great,” Kiyo mutters, “Are you sure you can lift it? Looks kinda heavy.”
“What kinda candy ass do you take me for? More outta you and I'll show you how tough this web can get.”
The spider leaves a string of web around the bag’s knot and scurries to a tree on the path’s edge. He climbs up with no problems, clinging to the underside of the forest canopy, then disappearing above it. To Kiyo’s amazement, the bag lifts, slowly pulled by the web upwards, until it's tucked away, out of sight.
“Huh. Alright.”
Rasmus quickly drops back down, smugly suspending himself at Kiyo’s eye level.
“Suck on that, Twinkletails!”
Their thoughts are interrupted by what sounds like hammering on wood. The three turn to see Cassie planting two official-looking signposts into the ground on each side of the road. POLICE CHECKPOINT is inscribed on both in clean red paint. There’s even torches beside both signs, unlit.
Rasmus guffaws, “Jeez, I must've blinked. You made all this just now?”
Cassie beams. “Sure did! It wasn’t hard, I brought my tools after all. Now, Bean, if you’d do the honors please!”
The bird wings into the air, lighting both torches with well-aimed embers, and just like that, the “police checkpoint” appears as official as they come. Cassie dons a matching police cap from her bag, and procures another, much smaller one for Bean as well. She strikes a confident pose, and after a moment of recognition, Bean poses too.
“Alright! Good to go!” She says, beaming.
“Excellent! Now, we just gotta hunker down,” Spinarak says, turning to Kiyo after preparing to ascend, “Need a lift? Grab on.”
Kiyo shrugs in response, and does so. Rasmus zips up the web with unexpected speed, and the fox flails his legs a bit out of surprise. Besides that, they reach the canopy without issue, and lie in wait for their target.
“Pssst. Hey Kiyo… Hey, Guess What?”
The fox quickly turns to face the spider with a harsh whisper. “What!?”
“...Monkey butt! Gehehehe…”
Kiyo simply drops his expression, looking more unamused than should be physically possible. Kiyo opens his mouth, preparing an insult so malicious it would deal physical damage, but it’s cut short as Cassie lets out a quiet chirping noise. It’s the signal!
Rasmus rubs his gangly front legs together in preparation for some serious spinning, as Kiyo’s gang gets into position in front of the checkpoint. The sounds of their prey aren’t particularly difficult to discern. If the crunching of crispy leaves isn’t enough to clue you in, the abrasive clopping of thick hooves will. Right on schedule, their prize, being drawn by a hearty Mudsdale, makes its way over the hill and into the jaws of the beast.
As the sturdy mule grinds to a halt, a commanding wave of silence fills the air as it scans the two little bandits that only reach its knees in height. It smells faintly of manure, and looks the part too.
Flanking the imposing creature are two bodyguards, a Gallade and a Scizor. While both wear ribbons denoting them as paid-for mercenaries, the Gallade carries himself with an air of elegance, wearing a long, shockingly clean scarf, and the Scizor is opposite, covered in ragged bandages, scars, and torn accessories.
"... I don't remember comin' through one of these last time," the Mudsdale complains. The Scizor grunts in affirmation.
Cassie's breath hitched a bit in awe of the commanding presence of the creature. She shakes it off, however, and adopts the confident southern accent she typically uses for impersonating officers of the law.
"Uh-huh, we've had some… issues with some outlaws passin’ through these parts. Sorry to trouble you. Gotta check ‘n make sure you aren’t on my list here…" She glances at her scribbled-on clipboard, and points a pen between the two bodyguards. “Say, which of you are the boss?”
“I am,” both say in unison. They promptly glare at each other, and the Mudsdale sighs.
Scizor leans towards Cassie with an earnest grin. “Don’t listen to this greenhorn. He’s just outta the academy. I’m the boss.”
Gallade scoffs, “The only thing you’re boss of is the whiskey-sodden alley behind the Gangly Tangela. Please, officer, do not direct your inquiries toward this drunkard.”
“Why you little…!”
Rasmus and Kiyo, hidden atop the brush, hear rising, rancorous debate rise between the two unwitting mercenaries. They nod, understanding it is time to act.
Rasmus lowers Kiyo with care, and the fox’s soft paws land upon the backside of the carriage without a sound. He finds the lock, and while the spider ascends once more, he begins to pick it with a tiny and mostly-harmless claw. The lock itself is very simple, thankfully, and with a simple bypass and a slow, deliberate pull, the door opens, revealing a singular bulging sack of, assumedly, various candies. He slips in.
The carriage’s interior is gaudy, plush, and mostly empty. It seems whoever made this candy had a fancy passenger car lying around, unused, and loaned it to the delivery service instead of finding a more secure means of transporting their product.
All the better for me, Kiyo thinks to himself.
Right in time, Rasmus appears in Kiyo’s periphery, straining to keep the decoy bag just off the ground. The fox carefully pads over and reaches out to grab the sack, still suspended midair by a web string. He pulls it close, and jerks his head towards the actual target, a gesture which Rasmus understands.
The spider, eye level with Kiyo, begins to swing back and forth. With a determined expression, he begins to swing closer and closer to the bag of candies, adjusting his momentum carefully until he lands on the target, making nary a peep.
He latches on, and looks to Kiyo, who nods. The two synchronize their movements; Rasmus quickly lifts the candy up and out from the carriage, heaving it up and out of sight. At the same time, Kiyo cuts the web holding up their decoy sack and gently lowers it, replacing the candy. He flicks an ear towards the cart-puller, and is satisfied when he hears no audible suspicion.
Careful not to fuck it all up now, Kiyo slips out the back and gingerly closes the door behind him. Rasmus is already there, waiting to help the fox escape. He’s positioned himself just above Kiyo, who looks at him expectantly on the tip-toes of his hind legs, his raised forepaws just barely not reaching.
Rasmus smugly whispers, “You want uppies?”
Kiyo immediately lowers his arms and glares. “You are so fucking stupid.”
“And you are so fuckin’ laterally challenged,” Rasmus grunts as he tows the fox out of sight and into the safety of the trees.
Meanwhile, the poor Mudsdale courier stands as still as a statue, internally seething with frustration. The two moronic bodyguards he’d been assigned by his employer haven’t stopped bickering since the shockingly small police officer stopped their caravan. Worse yet, neither of the police seem to be at all intent on arresting anyone. The only thing preventing forward progress is two insecure mercenaries.
“...Very well. You will be our boss in the mornings, and I will be our boss during the evenings and nights. This is acceptable?”
“Like hell it's acceptable! We sleep all mornin’! YOU’RE the leader on Mondays through Wednesdays, I’M the leader every other day.”
“That’s preposterous! You can’t claim more than half the week for yourself!”
“That aint half the week you dunce! That’s uh… there’s eight days in a week, right?”
“ENOUGH with you two!” The mudsdale barks, finally. “Am I free to go or what?”
Cassie notices a glistening strand of silk silently glides down the nearby tree. The job was done.
She hums, checking her clipboard once again. “Yeah, I don’t see any outlaws matchin’ your descriptions, so you’re clear to go. Have a safe trip!”
“Thank you officer,” he mutters, dripping with sarcasm, “Come on, you two. No more talking for the rest of the trip.”
The Mudsdale and its escorts slip away from the torch's light and into the shadows. Just as the last creaks of the carriage leave the area, Their haul plummets down to the ground, followed by an ecstatic Rasmus.
“GAHAHAHAAAA, THOSE KNUCKLE DRAGGERS COULDN’T FIND A WAILORD IN A GLASS OF WATER! Good job you three, I’m almost beginnin’ ta’ like ya!”
Kiyo drops from above, onto the bag of candy, startled. “Well that makes one of us,” he groans, “You couldn’t have carried me down first?”
Cassie laughs, and advances towards the bag of goodies, “Haha! Wow, look at all that.” She hugs their haul, “So much candy… How much of it are we allowed to eat?”
“Uhh… We’ll figure that out later! Now we gotta find out how to haul this thing back without any eyes on us! Any bright ideas…?
“Nngh, can’t any of you put a little more back into it?”
“I am dead out of back,” Kiyo huffs.
Cassie giggles, “No way, Kiyo, I’m sure you’ve got back to spare.”
“Shut up! Just lift!”
The team were hardly silent as they haul the massive bag of sweets, by hand, miles away back to the safety of their room. Kiyo’s legs feel wobblier than jelly, Rasmus’ mandibles are being pushed to the limit trying to tug the silk wrapped around the sack, and poor Bean is just trying his best to lighten the load, gripping the burlap and flapping his wings like a madman. Cassie is the only one who seems unfazed.
“T-There it is! The inn! We Made it!”
Kiyo squints. “Rasmus, we can’t just,” he huffs, out of breath, “We can’t just waltz in with this stolen fucking loot.”
“I thought about that, wise guy. We’re gonna climb up to your window and shove it in there! Now uh, you three sleep over there, right?”
Bean nods, and wings to the sky. He stands atop the window to their inn room and signals his friends forth. Cassie, giggles, “Sure do, that’s our room. I think. I’m sure Bean’s got it right.”
Rasmus stands with a fierce expression and a determined twinkle in his eyes. “Right, Right. Grab on fellas, we’re gonna swing our way in!”
Kiyo and Cassie nod and latch themselves onto the spider. Kiyo glances around nervously, and mutters, “Wait, what exactly is the plan?”
Planting himself firmly above the window, Rasmus pulls everyone up in a single file line and Grins. “Ehh, you don’t gotta know. Hold onta’ that bag! In Five… Four… ThreetwooneGO!”
Any objections to the plan are quickly thrown out the window, as the sack, and everyone holding onto it, are quickly thrown into the window! They soar through the air, connected by a thick line of silk that drags Rasmus in with them, granting him a shine on his head as it bonks against the windowsill.
“Yeeeaaahhh!!! Home free!!!” A bruised Rasmus bellows as he crawls on top of their loot, battered from the fall.
“...Home free! Right? Guys?”
As his vision came to, the spider didn’t just find himself with his conspirators, but a number of Pokemon he recognized faintly. The window he’d planned on latching onto was instead a criminal-shaped hole in the shattered glass.
Kiyo and Cassie scan their surroundings, frozen stiff. This is, in fact, not their inn room. They recognized a few faces from their guild, including a phanpy, a torchic, a trubbish, a nidorina, and more. It’s a full house tonight, it seems.
They had crash landed right in the middle of the bar. At peak hours.
Bean flaps from the broken window and lands on Cassie's head. He leans down, and whispers a sullen apology. Cassie gasps, “You’re STILL drunk? Aww, Bean! You should’ve had some water!”
“What in the BLAZES did you do?!” The Crabrawler proprietor of the inn shuffles out from behind the bar and shrieks at the property damage. “Kiyo! Cassie! My window!”
Kiyo slaps himself out of his daze and holds his paws up in apology, “Whoops! Sorry about that mister Crabrawler! We uh… We tripped.”
He squints, “You… tripped? You tripped and shattered my SECOND STORY WINDOW?!”
“Hey, it’s more likely than you might think!” Rasmus adds.
Crabrawler scoffs, “Right, well, the logistics of your little ‘accident’ aside, who the hell’s payin’ for my damn window?”
Before anyone can interject, Phanpy from the crowd answers, “The guild can cover it. It was just an accident.” He looks towards the four, resolute and somewhat sympathetic, “Windows aren’t cheap. You shouldn’t have to shoulder it all on your own.”
Once again, there’s no time for anyone to object. Crabrawler guffaws, “The guild SHOULD cover this! Do some damn good in this town for once!” He turns to Kiyo, Cassie, and Bean, “You three’ve been fine customers up to now, but you better not make a habit of busting my windows! Got it?”
“Yes sir!” Kiyo and Cassie affirm in unison. Bean salutes.
Crabrawler turns to Rasmus suddenly, and points a massive claw in his direction. “You too, buster! I don’t know who you are, but we don’t cotton to troublemakers ‘round here. Capiche?”
“Oh, cotton to my greasy fuckin’ balls, crabmeat!”
Satisfied enough, the crab skitters back behind the bar. Most of the crowd dissipates, but the Clover Guild members stick around. Once the inn’s owner is out of earshot, Totodile chuckles, waving a bottle around nonchalantly.
“You guys are crazy! How’d you manage to fall through a window on the second floor?”
Torchic kicks the sack they’re sitting on. “Better question: What’s with the bag? It looks like it weighs a ton.”
Maddie, the Joltik, snickers, “Reminds me of someone.”
Maxi, the Trubbish, scoffs, “Oh, shush!” He peeks around the sack and gasps. A few tiny bits of colorfully wrapped candy managed to slip out from the bag’s tied off opening. “Oooh, is that candy?”
The others pace around the bag to see for themselves. Pochi sniffs it out and gasps, “It is! An entire sack of candy!” He turns away and mutters, “Hope it’s not all chocolate…”
“Did you… buy all this candy?” Phanpy asks, “That’s… A lot.”
Kiyo stares at Rasmus, who’s rapidly glancing between him and the crowd , but before either can formulate a better lie, Cassie answers, “Y-yes! You can’t have too much candy after all!”
“I’m not sure I buy that,” Torchic says, “No single Pokemon could eat all that. Not you, anyways.”
“W-well, I was gonna share!” Cassie retorts.
A few of the guild members surrounding the bag suddenly look towards Cassie with pleading looks. Pochi employs literal puppy dog eyes, but it’s nothing compared to Nida’s at this moment. “Share? With the guild?” She asks.
Phanpy nods, “Of course. You must have heard about the Halloween party. That’s very kind of you to supply all this candy.”
Cornered, Cassie chuckles nervously, “Haha, yeah! No problem!”
Metaphorical thunder clouds roll in above the other three thieves. Rasmus clicks his mandibles together in frustration. “It’s fuckin’ bird stew for dinner tonight…”
Bean lifts a wing towards the spider. Said wing has two feathers lowered, one raised quite high, and two more after also lowered. Alongside this nonverbal message, he also sports an entirely judgemental expression, as though to deflect blame. Perhaps they did need to know the plan after all.
Kiyo sighs. Admittedly, they’d been backed against a corner. They could either surrender their sweet loot, or force their criminal activities into public knowledge, which was not even remotely an option.
“Yeah, yeah,” He concedes, “It’s to share, but we keep the leftovers! And, uh… We’ll need some help carrying it all. Shit’s heavy.”
“Yahoo!” Nidorina exclaims, practically dancing around the bag.
The next evening, the four crooks find themselves sitting at a round table draped in orange cloth, garishly decorated with every manner of Halloween trinket. The entire guild hall has been transformed into an autumnal paradise, complete with not-really-spooky fake skeletons of varying species, pumpkins with odd human sigils carved into them, and most importantly, enough candy to feed an entire city. The members of Clover Guild seem shockingly adept at eating their weight in sweets. Bean’s doing his part, looking sick surrounded by empty candy wrappers.
Kiyo, head in hands, grumbles. “Some party this is. These Pokemon are fucking gluttons. I don’t think we’ll have any candy left to sell at all.”
“You’re tellin’ me!” Rasmus responded. “No babes in sight! Unless you count that one eating outta’ the garbage.”
Cassie giggles, “You two are such grumps. So what if the plan didn’t go exactly right? This party is awesome! The costumes are amazing!” She does the pose Pika told her about, with her right claw in a side-ways peace sign and the left on her hip, and enunciates, “MY costume is amazing! Heh heh…!”
“Those must have been some fruity ass sailors you heard about… Say, what’s a guy gotta do to get sloshed down here?”
Kiyo points a paw towards the beverage table dismissively, and mutters, “Totodile forgets he spiked the punch bowl and spikes it again every five minutes.”
“Wait, you mean people give out free sauce in here?”
“Free food and board, too, can you believe it?” Cassie says, “If you ignore the weird drawings this place is pretty much a charity.”
“And they just let any old schmuck in here!?!?”
“Sure! I mean, they let us in!”
Rasmus lurches out of his chair onto his feet, skittering into the dense crowd. A faint “You’re in charge here, right?” escapes the bubble of chatter.
“Well, at least one of us is getting something outta this party,” Kiyo grunts. He tosses a jawbreaker into his mouth and crunches down. He recoils, not expecting it to be so hard, and blinks a tear from his eye, “Ow.”
Cassie snorts, “Aw, come on Kiyo. Lighten up! It’s a party after all! We should be having fun and making the kind of trouble you don’t get arrested for. Or, maybe… Maybe a little bit of both!” She spins and hops off her chair and scans the room, perking up with excitement. “Ooh! I see Furret! And Smith! C’mon, let’s go harass them!”
Kiyo watches Cassie fly into Furret like a missile. He turns to Bean, who is nearly comatose from sugar, and sighs, “Alright, I guess I’ll go. Watch my candy, okay Bean? Or join us. I don’t fuckin’ know.”
Kiyo walks off, joining Cassie and her social victims. Bean, meanwhile, attempts to simply take in the sights and sounds. Familiar guild members frolic around, arguing, laughing, teasing and complimenting each other. Totodile wobbles himself back towards the punch bowl, scratches his chin, and shrugs, pulling out yet another flask. Nida and Pochi go from group to group, passing out tons of candy and consuming just as much.
It’s festive and comfortable in a nostalgic way he can’t quite place. Or perhaps he’s confusing nostalgia with dizziness. It is getting harder and harder to focus, but why? Bean pops another jelly bean into his mouth and swallows, the sugar taking over completely.
He flops over, onto his side, the first of many sugar crash victims to come.