Corkscrew Airline!
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Airship technology was known to the Land of Auspices for quite some time, and dragon attacks were known for even longer. It wasn't uncommon that bodyguards on cargo ships were merely travelers that were promised free rides in exchange for defense in case a dragon attack should happen. Thankfully, dragon attacks were not very common. Unfortunately, many travelers knew this and would proclaim themselves as capable dragon hunters. Dragons were well fed on those trips.
"You're kidding! A free ride? What's the catch?"
"None at all, sir. You are merely expected to exercise self defense in case anything occurs!"
"Oh, in case of attack? Yeah, I've heard about that. Well, no worries then! I can defend this airship all by myself!"
"You won't have to, sir! We already have capable travelers on ship!"
"Heh, it must be my lucky day!"
Potion Pete needed a ride to the Springs of Fulgzak, where he would acquire materials needed for a particularly impressive Golem. He would fly via Homunculi, but had already been attacked by a particularly territorial venom breathing dragon nineteen times. He would fly via Golem, but had already loned all Golem's on hand to the local village for defense, because he's just so nice! It was lucky for him that Corkscrew Airlines had been in the area and was ready to drop him off at the Springs of Fulgzak in exhange for defense!
As Pete boarded the ship, he noticed two things. The first was the man attempting to seduce a lady who was counting up the cargo before they took off. The second was the young girl who was sitting with a set of tools, which looked to such a capable potion-maker as himself, to be used for making potions. He elected it would be best to simply leave them to their devices, and took a seat with his only Homonculi he took on board, one who could remarkably pass as human, Enredadara. In reality, it was a mass of vines specifically designed to cut off parts that were tainted with poison. Potion Pete had an understanding of poison and other strange elements, and while he could not use it himself, decided that twentieth times the charm to finally come up with something that could beat the dragon.
The man had finished his attempt to seduce the women, which ended with a kiss on the cheek, a wave goodbye, and the women laughing giddily as she left to count more of the cargo. The girl had finished taking out all of her tools, and began to take out materials. To Pete, the first thought in his mind was that she was testing effects of making potions at different altitudes. As the airship began taking off, Pete directed his attention to the crowd of people with pitchforks and torchs angrily shouting below.
"THERE'S THE FIEND THAT RELEASED ALL THOSE MONSTERS, THERE IN THAT SHIP!"
"LAND DOWN HERE SO WE CAN PUT THAT FOOL TO THE STAKE!"
"I WANT HIM DEAD!!"
Potion Pete leaned down off the side of the ship and defended himself as best as he could.
"I DIDN'T KNOW THAT CAVE WAS FULL OF ANGRY DEMON-SPIDERS! I ALREADY SAID I WAS SORRY AND GAVE YOU MY GOLEMS!"
Everyone on the ship gave Potion Pete a weird look as he settled back down in his seat. There was whispering among the captain and his first mate, but the captain merely shrugged and went back to his quarters.
"You don't seem to be very popular with the townfolk."
Pete turned to see the man suddenly sitting next to him was the same one who was talking to the sailor woman earlier. He could've sworn he was on the other side of the ship.
"So, who's the pretty lady next to you? I couldn't seem to get her attention, so I wanted to talk to you. You're not her husband, are you?"
"No, she's just an employee. We're on a business trip. She's Enredadara, and I'm Pete. Potion Pete."
"Never heard of you. I'm Mahapapapurusa."
"I wouldn't expect you to get her attention. Enredadara's a mixture of mute, ditzy, and oblivious. I can hardly get her attention myself sometimes."
"Shame. Is she interested in a lover?"
"Nope."
"Hmph."
Mahapapapurusa settled in his seat next to them and took out a bottle, which he happily drank from.
"Why are you headed out here?"
"Springs of Fulgzak."
"HEY! That's where I'M going!"
"You have business there?"
"Yep. You?"
"Heard they had good wine."
The girl who was messing with the brewing tools poked Potion Pete on the shoulder.
"Excuse me mister, do you think you could hold these for me?"
Potion Pete looked down at the liquids suddenly put into his hands. They were alchemical, not his area of expertise. He should be apprehensive, but decided to humor her.
"I don't see why not."
In case this was an attempt at assassinating him, he quickly handed the liquids to his Homonculus. He didn't move away from his Homonculus, but decided she would take care of any possible explosions well enough.
"Thanks, mister! I'm Cormelia."
"I'm Potion Pete, this here is Enredadara, and this is my new acquaintance Mahapapapurusa."
"Hey, kid."
She went back to her tools, before deciding to actually bring the tools over to the Homonculus.
"Can I see those, miss?"
"It's ok, Enredadara, you can listen to her."
As the Homonculus took the potions, Pete directed his focus to Mahapapapurusa and began a conversation, while Enredadara became Cormelia's temporary assistant. Although the men's conversation quickly became quite vulgar as they told low-brow jokes to each other, Cormelia paid attention to her experiments.
It has been several hours since the airship first took off. Cormelia had finished her first experiments (and begun anew), Potion Pete revealed his knowledge and complimented her on it (when he wasn't as drunk), Enredadara was hit on by the first mate (much to Mahapapapurusa's amusement), the first mate was subsequently rejected by Pete in the Homonculus' place (also much to Mahapapapurusa's amusement), and both Pete and Mahapapapurusa were quite drunk at this point.
"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"
"YOU'RE TOO MUCH, MAN!"
"THAT'S ALSO WHAT SHE SAID!"
Between laughter, hiccups, and Pete's occasional crying fits, they had become quite good friends! Ruining the mood, dark clouds brewed ahead, and a roar all too familiar to Pete was heard. The captain stumbled out of his quarters, and shuffled the crew into the cargo hold, but stopped the three travelers (four counting the Homonculus).
"Woah, there! You stay up here! You remember what I told you about the deal!"
Pete and Mahapapapurusa strained themselves, trying to remember what the deal was, but Cormelia spoke up.
"Defend against the dragon?"
"Right! So get to it, you four!"
Cormelia summoned quite the large electric frog, and stared at the dark clouds, before turning back to the drunk men.
"You guys are gonna help, right?"
"YOU BETCHA, YOUNG MISSY!"
"Lemme get my bow..."
Pete took out a bizarre bazooka-like weapon loaded with small glass bottles, and went to the front of the ship. Mahapapapurusa located his bow in his bag, quickly nocked an arrow, and went to the front of the ship. Cormelia summoned even more electric frogs, which subsequently filled the front of the ship.
"I wish my familiar was here... just HAD to make that trip to the Springs of Fulgzak without me..."
"Familiar, huh? Yeah, those toads DO look familiar!
"...Nevermind, Pete."
Pete turned to his Homonculus, and gave a salute.
"ENREDADARA! GET READY TO GIVE BAD-BREATH WHAT FOR!"
The Homonculus unfurled into a massive anount of vines, with the face unraveling into a red bulb that served as the core for the beast.
"Is it weird I still kinda want to have sex with it?"
"W-what? Yes! Mapahapapapapapurusapa, what's wrong with you?"
"Hmph. Prude. You got my name wrong, too, Penis..."
"Would you two stop?"
A flash of violet scales betrayed the position of Tetradokos, Scourge of the Springway. Current win record? Nineteen-to-zero, against Pete. Unknown-to-zero, against Corkscrew Airline. Let combat begin.
Bellowing of thunder came from two sides. The dark clouds Tetradokos called home, and from the mouths of summoned frogs spewing lightning. Tetradokos weaved past blasts with blistering speed, and sprayed venomous doom over the airship. The airship's only defense was the vine Homonculus who formed a protecive dome around the ship. As poison ate away at the defense, it regrew and shed it's vines, while lashing out against the dragon when it grew too close. Holes opened up in the dome to allow the denizens within to take pot shots.
Cormelia drank a potion, and summoned up enough energy to create an even bigger amphibian than those previously summoned.
"I call upon you, Abrettenus, Pylon of Lightning!"
"RIBBIT! A dragon, huh? Let's see what I can do!"
The great frog Pylon sat upon the Homonculus dome, causing the vines to bend, but not break, and let out the greatest burst of lightning the fight had seen yet. The dragon's evasise maneuver avoided the brunt of the attack, but was still hit, electrifying it. It's horrible screech echoed throughout the ocean they were fighting above.
"There's not enough mana to sustain me, ribbit. Don't die before you can summon me again!"
"Huff... huff... ok, Abrettenus."
Cormelia unsummoned most of the frogs, leaving only a few, and went to see what Pete was brewing. Mahapapapurusa had to take control of the frontal attack.
Mahapapapurusa launched arrow after arrow, but very few of them hit. Those that did bounced off the scales.
"Tch. This dragon's fast. Also annoying. I should've just swam..."
The dragon got close, at the blinding speed it previously showed. Too fast for the vines to protect. Mahapapapurusa narrowly dodged as the beast swiped at him with it's claws, and sent a blast of wind magic into its chest. It was then that the vines finally enclosed around the claw, cracking it, but quickly shriveled as the poison within them splashed on the claws. Mahapapapurusa, startled, backed away as the poison started flowing across the deck, unable to be mopped by the vines while they repaired themselves.
"Great, this is just disgusting..."
Cormelia let out a small shriek upon watching what it did to the frogs that were still summoned, dissolving them back into Mana. She directed the artillery to move away, as Pete approached the posion to deal with it.
"No worries! I developed a Golem that would suck up the poison and safely contain it! ...And I left it back at the village."
"So you don't have it."
"No."
"Figure something else out!"
Pete wracked his brain, trying to figure out a solution. The vines should only be compromised as a last resort, as the great dragon was still striking and spraying the vines faster than Pete could see, and he could amplify the truth of speed! Pete decided that the best thing he could do now was use earth magic to contain the spread, which the poison immediately started to slowly disolve, just like it was doing to the ship's hull. He went back to working on the new Homonculus he was making in a barrel of rum, also filled with vines full of poison, shed from Enredadara.
"Is that some sort of potion, Pete?"
"No Cornmealia, it's a Homonculus! Illegal mostly everywhere in the world, but it will be enough to turn the tide against our poisonous enemy!"
"Why are they illegal? Also, that's not my name."
"Meh. Those science guys at Stiff are babies, by the way."
"How will it beat the dragon?"
"I'm going to create a slime creature from this rum and vines that will go into the dragon and suck all the venom out of it, from the inside!"
"...That sounds needlessly cruel..."
"All is fair in love and war."
Cormelia went back to brewing another Mana potion, as she was all out at this point. She needed more Mana to summon more frogs against the beast. Mahapapapurusa elected to make a hard decision.
"I'm going to have to blow a hole in the ship to get that poison out of here."
"What about the captain?"
"What about the captain, Plaid?"
Mahapapapurusa blew a hole in the ship with a gust of wind magic, which caused the poison to fall a vast anount of distance into the ocean below. This caused the captain to emerge from below the deck, and Cormelia began to set him back down.
"What's going on up here! There's a hole in the ship!"
"It's a really mean dragon, mister captain."
The captain went back below the ship, as Mahapapapurusa went back to firing arrows at the beast. He nailed it right in the eye. With a screech, the beast plummeted towards the ocean, but swooped back up before it hit. As the beast ascended, Mahapapapurusa realized that it grew the eye back in the time it took to fall. He saw that the claw returned as well.
"This is a load of dung."
The beast, angered, barreled into the ship, piercing the vine defense and creating another hole. The captain didn't come up again, likey due to pure fear. Cormelia was finishing another Mana potion, and almost drank it before the dragon's attack knocked it out of her hand, breaking it against the floor. Her spirit unbroken, she went back to making another. Potion Pete required more ingredients to make his trump card, so he went down below the deck, and questioned the sailors taking cover.
"I require something that contains a large amount of Mana. Without it, I don't think we can beat the dragon."
The woman Mahapapapurusa spoke to earlier spoke up.
"There's the giant crystal needed by a wizard who lives at the springs-"
"SHUSH!"
The captain cut her off, but not soon enough. Pete had started to check every crate in the hold, and when the captain stopped him before checking a particularly large one, he knew he found it.
"You idiot! I should've sent you back to the townsfolk that wanted you dead when I had chance! We need that crystal to PAY for this operation! This is how you repay me?"
"Sorry. We gotta beat the dragon."
As the captain tried to pry Pete away from the crate, Pete took a deep breath, and nailed him in the face with one clean punch, knocking him out. Ignoring the gasps of the crowd, he took the crystal the size of him out of the crate, and carried it back to the deck. Mahapapapurusa was still pelting arrows and blasts of air at the dragon, while Cormelia orchestrated the cacophany of frogs to blast it with lightning. The dragon was slowed down, but was still kicking, and would regenerate to normal speeds soon.
Pete brought the crystal to the barrel he was making the Homonculus in, and let the half-born beast stab arms into the crystal. Energy coursed through the tentacles as the crystal began to darken and break.
"I'll call you... Antitetradokos!"
"...Is Tetradokos what you call the dragon? Real creative, Pate."
"Can it, Mahapapotomus."
The beast slithered out of the barrel, and also made Cormelia and a few of the sailors who followed Pete onto the deck shriek. The brown tendrils that made up it's body flopped onto the floor, before Pete commanded it to contort itself into the shape of a rocket.
"Mahapapaya, launch him into the flying sewer's mouth. Caramelia, make sure the flying sewer is slow enough for him to get in the mouth."
"On it, mister Pete! Not my name, though."
"On it, Phil. I don't think that's my name, though."
Mahapapapurusa picked up the slimy creation with a small amount of difficulty, and nocked it in his bow. Cormelia directed all her Mana into one final summon, dissipating her other summons for even more Mana.
"I call upon you, Abrettenus, Pylon of Lightning!"
"About time, ribbit!"
The great electric frog spewed lightning at the beast, who followed the same evasive manueaver as last time. Abrettenus was ready, however, and hit it dead on this time, just before he dissipated like the other summons. The beast shrieked, and flew back in the direction of the dark clouds, no doubt to bide it's time and regenerate for the next attack. Mahapapapurusa gazed at the direction of the beast, and the vines protecting the barely functioning airship made room to give him a better look. He took a deep breath, aimed in the direction of the beast, adjusted his bow slightly, and let loose Antitetradokos.
Antitetradokos flew. The Homonculus, thanks to the burst of wind Mahapapapurusa also put into the shot, quickly caught up to it's namesake. It was able to land exactly where it needed to be: the dragon's face. It wormed it's way in through the beast's teeth, and the onlookers aboard the ship watched as the scourge's flying got sloppier. Then, the onlookers saw as the color faded from the scales. Only after the scales turned almost completely grey, with only a hint of their previous purple color and luster, did the dragon plummet into the sea, dead.
As the airship flew over the floating corpse, Cormelia spoke up.
"It's a shame we couldn't reason with the poor thing..."
Mahapapapurusa also spoke up.
"It's a shame we wasted all that rum..."
Finally, Pete stepped onto the side of the airship, the vine Homonculus coiling around him.
"Farewell, my friends! I was going to head to the springs, but I can't let this opportunity go to waste!"
"Pete, what are you doing-"
Potion Pete jumped off the ship, the vines around him forming into a parachute. The tired Homonculus could not do it very well, however, and he was not slowed down by very much. Cormelia and Mahapapapurusa discussed the predicament of their acquaintance.
"I-is he gonna be ok?"
"Probably."
Pete hit the ocean, and remained underwater. Mahapapapurusa corrected himself.
"Not. Probably not."
Pete, face down, floated to the top, and the vines rolled him onto themselves and began resuciating him. They latched around the dragon's corpse, and floated with the alive Pete and not alive Tetradokos not in the direction of the village or the springs, but somewhere else. Mahapapapurusa corrected himself again.
"He's just full of surprises, isn't he?"
The captain, now awake, returned to the deck and was explained Pete's new situation. He swore like a sailor does, and Corkscrew Airline returned to normalcy, notably quieter and lighter. Cormelia and Mahapapapurusa made it to the Springs of Fulgzak, got what they wanted, and the travelers split up. They vowed that they would (maybe) help the other if they got the chance, and decided to hold Pete to that vow as well. Pete awoke with the dragon's corpse, two Homunculi, and the usual work ethic to make a new abomination. He'll make a Golem next time.