Boneless Old Man's chat with a Big Boned Old Man.
Behind a waterfall, two old men are having a conversation. One stout, and one thin. The larger old man is asking the thin one about some cultivators he has heard about.
Yasha
"I believe I've heard of him. Devours souls, eh? So many freaky cultivators these days... chills my bones... At least, he does seem to help people in the end, so he can do what he likes."
Devouring souls puts Boney a little on edge when he hears about it. But, supposedly, Yasha seems to be an upstanding young gentlemen in the hero department! Boney would definitely be fine with teaming up with him or helping him when he's in need.
Ming Ming
"...I do believe I've purchased tea leaves from her before. They were of middling quality. Perhaps I should see her again and see if she has procured better produce?"
Merchantry is a fine and respectable business. As long as she doesn't go around scamming innocent people, Ol' Boney fully endorses it.
Zheng Hao
"Ah, I remember him! The aspiring doctor, right? I wish I could meet him again. I didn't have time before, but giving him a pointer or two could help us both out in the long run! With people like him in the world, things are going tibia okay!... Not even a smile?"
The first time they met, Boney was in the middle of something important. No time for prolonged chatting. As long as he had time on his hands, though, he would like to teach him something, even if it was minor. Perhaps something pertaining to water? Either way, it's an old doctor's duty to teach the young about something they learned far too late.
Nobu
"Makes my bones boil just thinking about him... Here I am, trying to make the world a better place, and then there's people doing everything they can to make the world worse! I'd snap him in twine if I got the chance!"
People much stronger than Boney are already looking for him. So what if some uptight Ancestor gets upset if he splatters some Disciple? Just one more hound in the hunt. Needless to say, Boney does not approve of Nobu. He would make his death swift and relatively painless; something he does not deserve.
Yexin
"A beast that pretends to be a human? Or a human that pretends to be a beast? Either way... it's bothersome."
Boney does not fault a tiger for eating a man. Same with most normal beasts; he would save them like he would any innocent human, especially if he found them cute. Boney does fault the beasts that he compares to humans. Those smart enough to understand that they are eating something comparable to it's own mind... he sees them as people do cannibals. If Yexin hunted people he would find as reprehensible as them, he would not bat an eye, merely be disgusted. If Yexin hunted good people merely because they were hungry... he would treat them like he would Nobu.
Lord Charles Maynard
"Bah! Foreigner or not, it doesn't make a difference! He seems like a fine gentlemen; I hope he would humor these old bones with a chat about where he came!"
Boney is intrigued by the land Lord Maynard came from. He would like to travel there sometime.
Heng Zhiqiang
"A sad young man on a quest to get stronger, eh? There's plenty of those, these days. Although... he seems like he needs to learn to slow down a little. Your body needs time to rest, after all."
While Ol' Boney does not know the bigger picture about Heng, they are more similar than he thinks. Both are on a quest to save others from suffering, after all. Boney would become far more empathetic upon learning his reasons. He would feel sad that he does not give himself time for relief, though.
Dónall
"What a quaint fellow! I'm glad that I still have kindred spirits in the world. We're both quite humerus!"
Boney finds him funny, and he finds him helpful. The world needs more people like Dónall; kind souls who try to both cheer up and save people. Boney wouldn't try and get him to partake in his quest, though. Leave that to the people who have nothing to lose, but it's not like those people truly exist, either.
Qiáng Wěi
"A kid who likes to kiss his spear? What in tarnation are those numskull kids getting up to these days!?"
He's joking. Everyone knows that getting spicy with Treasure Spirits was trendy in his day. He never got into it, but he knew a couple guys who did! He once treated someone for a disease they got from one. All in all, he thinks they seem like a fine couple. Fight on, you crazy kids!
Boneless Old Man
"I've been keeping on the down low. Y'know, the usual. I'm looking for some rare herbs, though. Hm? Oh, no, they aren't for medicine. I just heard they would taste good. Plus, they are supposed to be full of calcium!"
Everyone knows you are supposed to take some time off for hobbies!
Dong Do
"Bah! So what if the man's a fish? He does a fine job of running his Sect, I hear. Maybe I'll visit him sometime."
Boney is a certified Non-Racist! He fully endorses any respectable inhumans! As for his opinion on Dong Do specifically, he would like to have a chat with such a wise individual.
Xiu Yi
"She killed her clan!? All of it!? Well then. Did they deserve it?... Oh, well, that's alright, then."
Boney also fully endorses murder of bad people. Maybe not everyone in her clan deserved it, but it's not like he knows. If he had free time, he would feel just fine with helping her. He also relates to the whole "getting hunted" thing.
Guan Chao
"Ohh, I know about him all too well. I've seen firsthand the kind of carnage he causes. It's not a good idea to run at someone like that head-on. Or should I say bonehead-on? Jokes aside, I'm going to try and ensure that he can't hurt anyone else again when I get my hands on him."
This is where Boney has to be careful about the fights he chooses. He'd be sure to stock up on some Grade 10 herbs for tea making before he decides to stop him for good. Preperation is the best ally in battle. Either way, he thinks Guan Chao is a blemish on the world and he wants him to be sealed away at best.
Gyldenwulf
"Speaking of boneheads! I've ALSO seen this devil's carnage first hand. Just like the other fool, I'd like him put away. Permanently."
He's really similar to Guan Chao. Main difference is that, while ones a plague, the other is a tornado. Either way, both require similar precautions and preperations if he would like to ensure victory.
Huang Yu
"One of those Buddhist folk, right? Seems like a fine fellow. I'm not a Buddhist myself, but I find them to be welcoming in general."
Boney would definitely enjoy a cup of tea with Huang Yu. He feels bad about his sect, too. He would ask for some meditation advice, and try and provide some advice about qi in return. Or, at least some medical knowledge.
Shu Luxing
"Ah, a pretty young girl going around teaching? I think I recognize that name. A young man I helped said it before. Apparently, she talks a bit archaically. And a lot."
Boney does not know the truth about Shu Luxing's... condition? Yeah, let's call it a condition. But if he did, I'm sure he would give be quite interested in travelling to his (her?) old world. He also respects his (her?) wisdom.
Moriko
"A powerful fox who gives treasure to those she considers heroic? Well, more power to her."
Boney considers Moriko a nice girl. He always found Vows of Mercy to be foolish, however. He believes that you can do the world a whole lot more good if you're willing to put down the occasional mad dog.
Morgain Blackheart
"Puppet shows? That's fun, I suppose. These old bones prefer more hands-on action, though... What do you mean she's notorious!?"
Boney isn't that much of a fan of puppet shows. He can't really decide on Morgain herself until he learns more about her, though.
Jian
"A travelling assassin, eh? More like a travelling murderer. I think I've seen bandits and innocent folk alike who match the description of bodies she leaves behind."
Boney is not a fan of murderhobos. He would not feel much regret if he had to kill her, but like with the other indiscriminate killers, he would like to prepare first, to ensure victory.
Mei Lan
"So... she's a maid? That's it? Good for her."
She really wants to be a maid that badly? Is it some sort of fetish? Anyway, Boney isn't really in the market for maids. He's always looked down on people who need servants, honestly.
Wen Lifen
"I do not think that's a very healthy lifestyle. She's gonna feel it in her bones when she's older."
Boney has decided "live and let live" in regards to people like Wen Lifen. If she was his patient though, he would give her a stern lecture on the dangers of smoking and not using protection. It's his duty. He will also try and clean up any drug epidemics he comes across, but it's not like he can waste time on that for long.
Lei Daiyu
"Ah, so she's a drummer, eh? Y'know, I can play the xylobone!... Alright, not my best work."
Boney fully endorses purging the world of evil. That boils down to what he's trying to do, after all. He would help her if he had the chance and time, and try and teach her anything she was willing to learn.
Leanne Pierpoint
"...All she has in life is the goal to kill one man? That's sad. If I'm right in guessing who the man is, though, I find his death agreeable."
Devoting your life to killing who I assume is Gyldenwulf is a bit pathetic, but hey! A world without Gyldenwulf is a happier world indeed. Boney would try and help her move on. He would also try and help her kill Gyldenwulf.
Kay Lee
"So... some girl who turns her hair different colors and just... travels and trains? Good for her."
Boney believes her to be harmless. Unless he was in a really bored mood, he would probably decline to spar with her. He would help her if he found her dying in the woods. Maybe give her some pointers on how your muscles restore and what not to help her maximize training. He was buff too, y'know!
Xicotl
"Some particularly confusing foreigner, eh?.. .Hm, he talks about some strange stuff. But, he appeared to have done some heroic things, eh? Can't be that bad."
Boney (and me, to be honest) does not really understand all that stuff Xicotl talks about. If he ends up burning and conquering the world for the sake of his gods, then that's future Boney's problems. For now, he seems fine.
Lan Jìngměi
"Ah, a chef, huh? Well, I bet that I can outdo her!... In a tea boiling competition. Oh, oh, what kinda meat would I like her to cook? Ribs! Or, uh, t-bone!... Yeah, I'll stop."
Well, going around the world sampling food is a decent
enough aspiration. Boney would boil her some tea to try if he found the chance. He's a bit proud of it, y'know.
Pàng Jīng
"The Demon Whale woke up?! I've heard stories, but I think this is the first time he woke up in our lifetime. What a bad stroke of luck..."
Same as the other completely evil cultivators. Probably one of the most dangerous to deal with, though. Boney would have to be certain of a 100% guaranteed victoty if he wanted to deal with him.
Xū
"Rumors about a particularly old fellow breaking free? Welp, good for him! Oh, he's very partial to his element as well, eh? Looks like we have something in common!"
Nothing much to say. Boney would try and make him giggle with a pun. I'd bet they'd get along. They can also bond over their connections to their elements, maybe.
Shu Shihan
"An immensely powerful plant-woman? Well, good for her!"
Nothing much to say, for real this time.
Magikarp
"So... was he particularly strong before eating that poisonous herb? If so... what a large amount of work to go down the drain! I'm not sure if my old bones could take it!... Oh, I guess it did happen to me, huh?"
Magikarp seems like quite the agreeable individual. I'm sure they would enjoy having a Mystery Dungeon adventure together.
Zhihao Cheng
"A case against the Heavens? Good. Sue the Heavens! For all they're worth!"
Boney has nothing but empathy for Zhihao and his case. Boney isn't a big fan of the Heavens, himself. He hopes it would work out. Boney would also enjoy a spot of tea and a nice conversation with a wise individual like Zhihao.
Po Kong
"A man who's immensely powerful, even among Ancestors... I'm not sure why, but I really want to try and spar with him! Really, it's quite strange. I'm not usually like this."
By the force of pure comedy, Boney wishes to face Po Kong in a sparring match. He would lose, obviously.
Chenrezig Bodhisattva
"Ah, another one of those Buddhist types? I doubt we would ever meet. But I'm sure we could find something to talk about if we did!"
Boney isn't too sure about what an impious cultivator is, but he really hopes that he isn't one. He thinks they'll be on good terms, at least.
Fēn Jiàngé
"So, a man who cut his very soul, eh? That reminds me that I should try and find out if I can carve seals on souls. Seems like something we should check out, right?"
Boney gives his condolences. He very much knows what it's like to have a debilitating soul injury.
Meng Zheng
"Fox Demon Cult, right? I've always hated them. I'd talk about trying to get rid of them, but they're so old it seems impossible if no one's done it by now. Welp, there's nothing wrong with hoping!"
I can't imagine Boney would have a positive opinion on her at all. He may even puke just from the thought of working with her. What's worse, there's nothing he can really do about her. Who knows, maybe he can brew tea or give her a seal that would ruin her forever?
Five Mortals
"Old pervert! I don't want to hear about some young ladies you want to bone! Have some class!"
Boney is a certified Non-Pervert!
"Well, I hope you enjoyed your cup of tea, old friend.
I have to go rattle on somewhere else, now."
"It was my pleasure. I'll give the others back at the Sect an update on how you're doing."
"Make sure it's cryptic! Tell 'em 'Ol' Boney is still pretty hip!' They'll get it."
"I highly doubt that, you old fool..."
"Bah. I can never have any fun with you."