it had been months since Riley crept into your life
the son of a bitch was annoying
everywhere
it started with internet dating
you'd never done it but fuck if you wanted to go to a bar
found a cute sheep
that's when the goddamn trouble began
hopping into the shit headfirst
Riley first off wasn't a sheep
the profile picture was a suggestion
Riley was a damn wolf
Riley wore cotton outfits and dyed his fur white
that was the second thing
Riley had a penis
as lithe as he was there was that penis
that wasn't all
Riley tried to steal your damn wallet when you met
all the camera tricks in the world fooled you
it was partially your fault
you knew
didn't need to be reminded
but Riley genuinely made you consider a restraining order
he nicked your phone
then all of a sudden you ended up spammed
you ended up having to cancel a credit card he got ahold of in your name
in months the fuck had catfished you
a goddamn wolf in sheep's goddamn clothing
what did he really goddamn want?