"94 Protons Never" by Anonymous
Chopblock fruitlessly attempted to tune his radio for some kind of sign of life from the outside world. Life in the Fuhrerbunker was truly uneventful, anything would be better than wasting away like this! Or so he thought.
Himmler slammed the door open with a powerful kick. "VHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?" he shouted as he sternly approached the thin-framed individual, delivering a powerful slap across the face.
Chopblock's left cheek went red from the force exerted on his face. Regaining his composure, he replied "G-guten-tag, Himmler-senpai!"
"SHUT UP, VOU ARE NOT YELLOW JAP MAN! SPEAK LIKE ZE MASTER RACE VOULD!"
"H-himmler! What is the meaning of this, master?" he weakly whimpered
"VOU ARE ON FEEDING DUTY VOR BLONDI TODAY!"
"Uh, da! I-i'll get on it right away, sir!"
"ZAT IS VHAT YOU BETTER DO IF VOU VANT TO KEEP YOUR MANHOOD IN TACT!" shouted Himmler.
Chopblock quietly sulked his way to the kitchen. Blondi was waiting by her food bowl, staring at chopblock with pleading eyes. He felt bad for the poor pooch, so he decided to treat her to something special. Rummaging through the kitchen doors, chopblock came across a peculiar looking bottle decorated with many words, the most eye-catching of which reading "Cyanide." It sounded like candy!
"Blondi! Here girl! I got a special surprise for you!" chopblock yelled toward the precious purebred of the Fuhrer, her ears perking up and tail swaying from side to side with excitement. He threw the pills in the air, and Blondi caught them all with one chomp of her jaw. The food was devoured with no hesitation. Chopblock began to think to himself, "Hitler will be proud of me for treating his dog so well! Maybe I too can become his pet, held in the warm embrace of his lustrous toned arms!" His fantasies were quickly interrupted by asshole Himmler's voice, barking even louder than before.
"ACHTUNG! VHAT HAVE VOU DONE???" he viscerally screamed as he ran forward and delivered a strikingly powerful punt to Chopblock's remarkably below-average wang, the steel-toed Hugo Boss brand boots instantly vivisecting his testicles and sending Chopblock splayed about over the floor. Contrary to Himmler's violent intentions, this filled the deranged Chopblock with sexual ecstasy due to rewiring his brain with years of Spacejin porn abuse.
While suppressing his moans, chopblock weakly said "H-himmler! I'm only doing my responsibilities as the dog feeder, Blondi is so happy!"
"DO VOU CALL ZAT HAPPY?!" he screamed, pointing his arm to his right with remarkable speed. Chopblock glanced over to see a hairy mass that bared striking resemblance to Blondi, blood pouring from every orifice. "JUDENRAT! VOU SHALL PAY FOR ZIS!" he angrily shouted as he raised his right leg and slammed it down at lightning speed directly to the bloody region that once was Chopblock's reproductive organs. A gloppy mixture of cum and blood spurted forward from the bloody stump that resided where his dick once was, covering Himmler's glasses and dripping down his face. His soiled glasses applied a pink-tint filter to the world around him.
"OH MEIN GOTT!" cried Hitler as he ran into the room, tears streaming down his eyes.
"MEIN LEIBEN!!" shouted his two bodyguards stationed by his sides.
"It is all ze jews fault." Hitler quietly proclaimed. "And Chopblock223's," he appended.
"I'm a communist" said MacGuffin.