I Am Error, Part 3

A Paradox Pokemon's Introductory
By Iron Valiant-anon

My name is Error. I used to be a human. I'm now a strange mechanical Pokemon in an even stranger Pokemon World, and I think I just agreed to my own funeral.

Earlier this morning, my digitally assisted training routine and advanced display of competence at the guild's dojo attracted the attention of Lliam and KFC, the Clover Guild's master and Aura Guardian, respectively. Maybe I should feel some greater sense of pride or importance; maybe I should crack a smile on my non-existent lips. Instead, I'm just feeling soul-shattering terror from all the sudden attention I'm getting. I'm feeling especially stupid for accepting a spar with KFC. Apparently he has quite the reputation and is a regularly desired party member in the guild's many missions, despite his propensity to go out on solo endeavors. But why me?

Does he know or see something in me with that so-called aura he can harness? Is that shrewd little Meowstic putting him up to this somehow for his own mysterious ends? And why the fuck did I say yes, like I have anything to prove to these people? I continued to pace circles in the dirt of the clearing that'd be the stage of our spar. The little electric ghost Pokemon that resided inside my head by the name of Rotom flitted about in my peripheral vision. "Master, you seem to be very anxious! Do you require a psych evaluatio-" I hold up an index finger in a gesture of desiring silence as I stare down at the Pokemon.

I directed my inner monologue toward him, as I sure as shit couldn't actually use my voice to express these concerns and contempt. "Rotom. I'm about to make a fool of myself or worse, and I'm afraid. Nay, I'm terrified and at the end of my rope. I-... WE don't have time for any nonsense. You need to help me become a fighter worthy of renown in... however long we have before I pit myself in a magic LITERAL cockfight to gain some paltry respect around here. You're the one who encouraged me to do this!" The spry little Pokemon twirls from one side of my vision to the next. "You are the one who wished to use my services when they were offered! I cannot force you to take my advice! Would you like to utilize the S.M.O.G.O.N. package tailored for IVA units to aid you through this upcoming encounter?" I continue to stare daggers at the spirit before conceding with a sigh.

"What is the S.M.O.G.O.N. package, and what the hell is an IVA unit?" I crossed my arms, looking around the forest clearing to see if anyone was arriving yet. I'd rather not be caught gesticulating at the air like I'm losing an argument with myself.

Rotom became upsettingly close to my face with the most shit-eating grin imaginable. It felt like they were inside my eyes, and I wish I could fucking blink them away. "I am glad you asked, Master! S.M.O.G.O.N., or System for Management of Offensive Gambits and Operations Network, is a data archive of hundreds upon thousands of high-ranking strategies for use by Iron Valiant units, or IV units for short, such as yourself!!" He smiled at me as if... Any of this would make perfect sense to anyone besides him. This was all just a bunch of words, and it's sent my mind spinning. I already want to go back to bed. I shake my head as if I'm trying to dislodge Rotom and his chatter from it. *"Please just run this package or whatever when we're in the fight and tell me what to do."

Soon it was past noon proper, and everyone who had taken an interest began to gather at the clearing. It wasn't a great number, but it was still a dozen or so heads judging me. I recognized a few faces in the crowd, including the guild master, the Archeops who tended to me when I first arrived, and that one Cyndaquil who keeps looking at me funny... "Shouldn't this be called off?" "Hasn't this guy been practically moping the entire time he got here?" "Faggot's so dead." "500 pokes on KFC!" "Work that metal booty! That's how Cyndaquil likes it!"

...Regardless, I saw Combusken arrive at the opposite end of me and address the group. "For clarity's sake, the rules are simple. The first one to be rung out of the clearing or rendered incapacitated loses. Healing supplies have been prepared in the event of anything unforeseen. We'll begin at the sound of the whistle. Are you ready?" The fiery bird gazes at me expectantly. I feel what is probably my heart getting lodged in my throat. I nod frantically, letting my voice slip out in the affirmative.

"̶E̵r̴r̴o̸r̸!̵"̸

We stood at the ready for what felt like forever before a Pokemon trilled into a small porcelain whistle. We flung off toward each other like a pair of arrows. I had drawn my twinblades and collided with KFC's claws. His strength was absolutely overpowering and betrayed his small frame. My senses went wild with information that I couldn't begin to parse. Diagrams and symbols clouded the corners of my vision. I was already getting overwhelmed by what was being fed to me. If this was the S.M.O.G.O.N. at work, I don't think I could handle it like this...

"Rotom I can't make heads or tails of this. Help me out; I'm barely holding on here!" KFC squinted at me with that one eye of his, and... I think he's smirking? Is he sussing this shit out somehow?! Rotom spun across my view and made the downstream of symbols something more my speed. "This is your active parameter, Master! I suggest utilizing your Booster Energy cell immediately!" My booster whatnow? Before I could even register, I felt the ground leave my feet as the Combusken swept out my legs. I immediately respond by vaulting backwards onto my knees rather hard. I grunted from the impact. "̶R̸r̸r̷h̶!̷" I bolt upward and run back at my opponent, attempting to drive the blunt of my blade into his center of mass and strike him in the gut. It was no good. He evaded it almost flawlessly without so much as clipping a feather.

I wasn't going to be able to land a single hit under these conditions. I kept trying to reach within myself, trying to figure out how to draw out these abilities like the other Pokemon could, but I felt I was only reaching into an empty pit. I can't be this feeble, right? What good is a body like this if I can't even use all its tricks!? I growl in frustration as I keep struggling, feeling myself battered and repelled by the most basic of KFC's assaults. There were boos coming from the audience. "He's not even trying!" "Does this guy seriously have no moves?" "What a cuck! "SCRUB!" "GIT GUD! "Why does this all feel so familiar? I don't like this feeling... Why do they keep demanding so much from me?! I start vocalizing my frustration, even if no one can understand me! "̷E̵R̸R̸O̴R̵!̵!̷!̸"̴ Rotom flutters into my sight yet again.

"Master! It is in your best interest to know that your neurochemistry is spiking! Your aura signatures have sparked! I ask that you remain calm while operating your body under these conditions." Neuro... chemistry? Aura signatures? More fucking meaningless words! You've been nothing but a bunch of noise since you first sparked into my conscience! FUCK! I began to crackle with fat coils of pink electricity, the same color as the illuminated parts of my body. It felt like I was burning up from within. It was that familiar sting of indignation and sadness all over again. I want them to all SHUT UP!

B̶O̴O̵S̸T̸E̸R̸ ̴E̴N̵E̸R̴G̸Y̸ ̵I̸N̵J̶E̵C̴T̴E̵D̸.̴, Q̵U̷A̷R̷K̴ ̵D̶R̸I̴V̵E̸ ̴I̷S̵ ̶A̵C̶T̶I̴V̶A̴T̴E̴D̶,̷ ̶S̴P̷E̵E̴D̸ ̷ ̴T̷H̴R̶E̴S̴H̵O̵L̴D̵ ̴I̸S̶ ̵R̸A̷I̵S̷E̴D̸ ̵T̶O̵ ̴1̴5̸0̷%̷.̶

I suddenly feel flush with a whole new level of clarity and awareness. The world moves at a fraction of the pace around me. I collide the haft of my twinblade into KFC's throat and drive him into the ground, kicking up dirt and debris. There's cheering and commotion from the crowd. They're simply ecstatic by the sudden display, despite not a single one of them understanding what's going on. I could only wonder, for the smallest moment, if anyone was going to intervene. Did they no longer see me as a weak coward? Did they ever see me to begin with? No, of course they saw me, and they think I'm a joke!

I felt an explosion of energy in retaliation for my lapse of focus as I kept teetering between rage and delirium. Four small aura spheres emerged from the Combusken's outreached arms and pelted me sharply in the back, erupting in cascades of blue energy that burned at my carapace. I felt my grip slack as KFC kicked me off before backing away. He distanced himself to regain his composure and harness his own wellspring of aura, looking at me with a mixture of deep concern and seriousness. He looked off to the side as if he were going to address someone in the crowd before I roared in defiance, causing a psychic tremor that vibrated the very air. "E̸R̶R̷R̷O̷O̴O̵O̴R̶R̶R̸!̸!̶!̴"̸ Some members in the audience gasped and others continued to egg on the battle.

I feel the ground leave my feet again, but in my favor. I propel myself on telekinetic winds of my own making as I launch myself, like at KFC's form. I lose all inhibitions about approaching this strategically. I let out an explosive flurry of strikes that pierced my opponent's very defenses. A meager amount of blood is finally spilled from wounds inflicted by my blades. The retaliation is immediate, and it is fierce. The fighting chicken Pokemon's claws took on an ethereal glow as they tore into my frame. I refused to retreat despite the pain shaking my very soul. I continue my own onslaught as I crackle with psychic force and explode in a wave of sundering energy from my spinning blades. KFC is propelled back a fair distance before using an aura sphere compressed in his palm to launch himself forward toward me.

We both collided in a tangle of limbs before crashing to the ground. I didn't even realize KFC had disarmed me of my weapon as I was restrained in a full nelson and smashed into the ground. "LLIAM! THIS IS ENOUGH, DON'T YOU THINK?! YOU GOT YOUR RESULTS!" The Meowstic sighs with a frown. "I suppose this has gone too far. I'll handle it!" He retrieves a slumber wand from his person and sprints over to the field. "I must say I'm deeply sorry for this!" With that, he swung the wand at me, and everything slowly darkened. "Show's over, everyo-..."

This all felt very familiar. The drowsiness of sleep filled me as I woke up tied down again, this time apparently in the guild master's office in a cozy chair. Lliam was watching me intently from the chair I was bound in with my 'sparring partner' not far from me either. This is going to be good... "Ah, good morning! Yes, well... You're probably wondering what that entire exercise of ours was for yesterday. Well, you see Error..."

The Combusken speaks bluntly. "You've been emanating and leaking raw emotion like a Riolu who lost his favorite bone, but we first had to make sure it was you."

Lliam nods as he shuffles some papers. "Hm, yes. Ever since you arrived, there's been some real 'bad vibes' as they'd call it, running through the place... And that just couldn't do. It leaves people restless and under-performing. It's not great for morale or the guild in general. Just imagine the kind of power you must hold to do so! Error, you have to be willing to open up about your problems and not bury yourself in grief like this."

I tilt my head to the side with a look of disbelief. So they needed to hold an impromptus spar with me and push me to the brink to determine that?!

Lliam drummed his fingers and sighed. "Now then... I believe you have a lot to unpack to be acting in such a way, and I wish for those of us who can at the guild to help you. I'm going to have to mandate you take sessions with the guild's counselor, Bill. You'll also be spending some time with KFC in honing your wellspring of powers in a more manageable way. You're quite a risk right now, Error. I do not have any ill will toward you and only wish you the best in this guild."

The Combusken leered at me with his arms crossed as if he were handed an impossible task before letting out a grunt of resignation. "I'll see what I can do. You're pretty strong, but you fight more like a cornered feral than a warrior. Let's see if we can channel you away from that. You want to be a danger to your opponent, not your allies. We'll make this work."

I groan as I'm being confronted with my problems so forwardly. It's embarrassing, and I feel like I'm being treated like a child... Pink static clouds a corner of my vision as Rotom appears once more. "Good morning, Master!"

Lliam and KFC suddenly both glance toward them. LLiam addressed the ghost in the room. "Oh, who's this now, a friend of yours?"

I blink once before blurting out in exasperation at what unfolded. He can see him? The Pokemon in my head can make itself seen to others this whole time?! "ERROR?!" This was going to be quite the stay...