I Am Error, Part 2

A Paradox Pokemon's Introductory
By Iron Valiant-anon

It's been a some time since my arrival at this Pokemon World. To say I've settled into my new circumstances is overselling the proposal. I still can't say anything besides a garbled "Error," which subsequently became my new name around these parts. My body still made me feel like some sort of metal scarecrow, with every sense from my sense of touch to taste and even smell (which I apparently still had despite no mouth or nose on my face!) feeling dulled and distant, and my anxiety still rattles whatever constitutes my heart in this mechanical cadaver I'm forced to call my body. Memories of my past life are in tatters and leave me feeling disjointed by these emotions. I guess keeping the baggage is some consolation prize for having your old life cast away. Some other former humans at the guild remember more than others, and some of them even remember conflicting information. It's like some of us came from different worlds. If it weren't for the fact that being a robot blows any other revelation that may come forth out of the water, proof of other realities would be simply astounding. I vaguely remember a fondness for such topics and theories. Maybe I enjoyed science fiction. What fucking irony!

I remember getting out of my exceptionally fluffy bed (seriously, even my stiff and numb metal joints feel like jelly on this thing; it's like a dream) and finding myself to be the last one to wake up yet again. None of my fellow dorm mates bothered to get me up on time yet again, sending me into a dour mood. The first impression I gave the guild was still popular gossip among some of the members. I guess a never-before-seen Pokemon running at a bunch of guild members and screaming like a lunatic before getting laid flat is some of the funniest shit one could see around here. I found myself bearing the moniker of being a Newfag by several of them... That mean turn of phrasing felt familiar too, and unpleasant. Being effectively mute, I have gone to carry my slate and a supply of writing chalk in a shoulder bag bearing the guild's titular clover, along with whatever other little trinkets I pick up along the way that I feel might have some use later.

As I finished packing, my vision distorted with that telltale sign of pink glyphs. Maybe it was yet another glitch or malfunction of this goddamn form. Maybe I was finally going to suffer some fatal malfunction and be snuffed out of this bizarre existence... To my surprise, a fair bit of intelligent information is coming my way.

S̷Y̴S̸T̴E̶M̷ ̴F̶U̷N̷C̶T̸I̸O̶N̴ ̷R̸E̷S̴T̶O̴R̴A̴T̴I̷O̴N̵ ̵A̷T̷:̶ ̷1̸0̴%̵.̵ ̸R̵E̷-̷E̵N̶A̴B̵L̶I̷N̶G̷ ̵S̴E̴C̵O̵N̵D̸A̸R̵Y̶ ̸B̸A̶S̸I̷C̴ ̸F̸U̶N̵C̵T̴I̷O̸N̵S̸.̵ ̵R̶E̸-̵E̶N̷A̸B̸L̴I̸N̷G̵ ̴S̸.̷M̶.̶O̶.̵G̷.̴O̶.̷N̵.̸ ̴R̶E̸-̴E̶N̴A̵B̶L̷I̸N̶G̶ ̸A̷.̷I̴.̴ ̷A̸S̸S̵I̷S̷T̵A̵N̸T̶.

Syste-... basic whatnow-... smog who-... A.I. assistant?! What the fuck?!

I stumble over myself as I land hand first back into my bed, gripping the soft plush surface. I then realized I could actually feel the soft, plush surface. I can feel the grain of wood beneath my feet. I can smell the musty scents of what is probably a menagerie of Pokemon in need of a fucking shower! I am understandably feeling joy over the very basic concept of sensation after a while without it. I then tried to speak out; maybe I had a voice too!

"̴E̵r̴r̵o̴r̶!̷"̸

GOD. FUCKING. DAMN. IT. I push myself off the bed forcefully, causing the floor to creak loudly. I glanced around, hoping no one heard me there, as I felt pained embarrassment creep through me. I was thankfully still alone, but probably not for long. I could hear distant voices echoing down from the halls and stairs. I probably missed the breakfast assembly. I'll just grab any old piece of fruit later... Maybe it'll taste better now when I absorb it... I was told I'm expected to pitch in even just a little to the guild if I was going to stay here, even if it couldn't be through combat prowess, although they'd value the effort. I looked at my shiny metal arms and the pink, luminous blades that are attached to them in contemplation before slouching in defeat.

I wish I knew how to actually fight.

A chipper, electronic voice suddenly spoke out in my head. If this is what schizophrenia is, I'm not sure what everyone is complaining about. I doubt I had friends who were other people when I was still a human. "Hello there, Master! You appear to be having difficulty acclimating to your body as it is going through system restoration! Would you like me to guide you through your recovery?"

I glanced around wide-eyed, my mind racing with a hundred thoughts as the anxiety started making me go through the paces. I wanted to hide, but how the fuck do I hide from THIS? "Who are you?!" I screamed within the confines of my mind. A little pink, monochrome entity manifested in the corner of my vision in an immediate response. It kind of resembled a light bulb with a grinning face.

"Hello, Master! I am your Real-Time Overseer Terminal and Operations Matrix! Or, simply put, your Rotom Pokemon-based A.I. assistant! I am, as one might say, your ghost in the machine! I became operational exactly 300 seconds ago! I am here to ease the critically damaged neural indexes of IV units through their recovery! Including anatomical familiarity, motor function re-calibration, psychological evaluation, combat training, and additional functionality that may be searched for by request! Where would you like to begin?"

I slowly sat down back on the bed and tented my fingers as the little Rotom prattled off this information to me, and it was a lot to take in. Was this little thing a Pokemon too? Were there any other hitchhikers inside this body? What the fuck is an IV unit? Questions for later. I stared at the fluttering and twirling ghost for a while, and if anyone walked in, I'd look more insane than usual for it. What a tragedy THAT would be...

"Can you do anything about my speech impediment?" I asked it right away. It frowned and shook its little bulb-shaped head.

"Unfortunately, certain processes may be disabled or corrupted and must be reconstructed through a non-prioritized list! I thank you for your understanding at this time, Master. "The electronic spirit twirls and smiles at me, awaiting further queries. I honestly felt patronized.

I sigh, feeling the weight of the undertaking of assimilating into this Pokemon World in my head again. I look up at the saccharine jellybean of an-AI and nod. "I want to learn how to fight. I... I think I'm terrible at it. Nothing about this body feels right, and I don't feel like I can carry on living so ineptly like this. I need help."

The Rotom twirls again. "Master, you sound quite depressed! Would you like a psyche evaluation followed by treatment recommendations?"

I stood up and groaned as I waved at the suggestion dismissively. "Fuck off with that. No, what I want is fighting prowess. Give me a rundown of combat training and recalibrations." I walked my way out of the dorm halls, avoiding any encounters with the other guildmates as they crossed my path and trying to avoid their leers. I listened intently to Rotom as it manifested diagrams and videos that would ease me into my goals. It seemed some degree of 'aim-assisting' was possible as well. Until I stop feeling like a newborn swinging a wet noodle, I could use the assistance.

With some confidence under my metaphorical belt, I strutted into the dojo on the ground floor. Some guildmon were already practicing their reps, sparring, or launching their various special attacks at training dummies. Several others were sitting on their asses on the sidelines and heckling their mates performances with the kind of non-constructive criticism I was beginning to expect from some of them. Rotom immediately highlighted and directed me toward a wooden dummy situated on a rotating base. I immediately began a regiment of strikes from my arms and legs that sent the training dummy spinning into motion. It attracted some attention the more I kept up the routine, phasing out the world around me into single-minded focus.

"The femboy robot is training!" "He's been keeping that up for like... over an hour now without missing a beat. What if he breaks it?" "That'd be pretty based, not gonna lie." "SpeeeeEeEeeeeEeEen!"

I felt some pride burn through my typically dour mood as I kept up the training before stopping the dummy on the same trajectory it started on with my elbow. I felt more familiar with my body during that short time as if I've been doing this for months! There was a mild applause from the observing Pokemon before they dispersed. "It's just like one of my Japanese anime..." "Gay." Rotom winked at me approvingly before vanishing in a puff of pixels and static.

Across from me approached a Meowstic and Combusken. They were Lliam the Guild Master and KFC the Aura Guardian, respectively. They appeared to have been wandering the guild base grounds and noticed the crowd. They had both taken a passing interest in me ever since my arrival. I didn't know if it was an interest taken for my benefit, though.

"Hello, Error! How are you settling in? Not getting into any trouble again, I hope!" He smiled as he nonchalantly brushed a paw through his wisp of white head fur. I quickly reached for my chalk and slate as I jotted down shorthand responses and small talk with the two to try and dismiss any concerns.

The avian martial artist nodded in solidarity before speaking up. "Latest gossip has it you've shown some boundless improvement with your skills in a short time here just now, and I'm intrigued... If you don't disapprove, I'd like to spar with you and see where you stand."

I glanced around the dojo, feeling all the eyes on me as perhaps the guild's strongest physical combatant put me on the spot. I suppose Stress was crawling up my metal vertebrae and bubbling into whatever few nerves and organs I had. Without a second thought, I nodded eagerly and we shook on it. Lliam smiled with an almost knowing look as KFC explained the rules of safety and engagement.

Rotom reappeared in my peripherals after everyone dispersed again. The little ghost looked at me expectantly with a smile of their own. "Do you wish to continue your training, Master?" We'd be having the duel in late afternoon. ...Why do I feel like I just set myself up?