A Carp
‘What should I do.’ Yesterday night was a rough night for her. Sensei Rosethorn found and brought her back home. Instead of her mother screaming or shouting as she used to when Orochi acted without warning her or her father, she was deadly calm.
Something that Orochi thought that her mother wasn’t able to be in this type of circumstance. She was a paranoid control freak… yet she was understanding yesterday, going as far as to sleep in her room. When was the last time her mother did something like that?
‘I hadn’t trouble sleeping since I was ten.’ Nightmares weren’t a constant in her life, but when she had them, her mother or Akane used to come over and sleep with her. Suffice it to say this practice died when her mother went overboard that day two years ago.
Orochi sighs, eyes staring at the ceiling. Even after all this time, after her mother destroyed her friend circle that day and she thought she and her mother wouldn’t ever see each other eye to eye again, her presence still feels safe and comforting.
Orochi knows she can’t bury that hatchet because of her pride. This is why she can’t forgive her mother completely. She wants to have the relationship they used to have when she was a child, yet why can’t she bring herself to look past that incident?
Too much pride can hinder your eyes and make you blind to the obvious, Orochi knows she should look past her pride and make amends to her mother, end the awkwardness between them, and start to rebuild burnt bridges, yet she can’t bring herself to do it, not completely.
‘I’m such an idiot.’
Orochi feels like she is a mess, and her mother is a mess too, which can explain why she looks like her mother instead of taking after her father like Akane and Kyoko. ‘Mom has the worst case of hair-trigger temper this side of Japan and a big pride. Guess I got her pride too.’
Heaven’s above help the world had she inherited her mother’s temper too. She is volatile enough without her nasty temper. ‘Just see the hole I dug myself in.’ Orochi sighs, her life feeling like a can of worms that shouldn’t have been opened, like ever.
Books, fiction, and people make it so easy to forgive others. Why can’t she forgive her mother already? Get rid of some worms in the can? “I feel like…” Before the Hydra Girl can finish speaking, her middle head rubs itself against the sides of her shoulder, attempting to shrug off her self-deprecating thoughts.
Her eyes turn to stare at the red-faced hydra head, looking goof, like always. Orochi rolls her eyes and scratches the top of its head, getting a pur out of the hydra head. “Why are you active? The other two are like me, tired.”
While the middle head can move and act on its own now, the other two don’t show signs of getting better, resting on the bench, making Orochi occupy all of the bench.
The silly little guys are now acting sillier, and she doesn’t know why. ‘This is the problem with a quirk complex like mine, not even me can understand some things.’ Her tails have to be one of the unexplained mysteries of the universe.
“Well, thank you, little guy.” Orochi returns to look at the ceiling of Shiketsu’s gym, feeling more at ease due to the intervention of her hydra head. Otherwise, her thoughts would spiral the same way they did yesterday.
While she is far from feeling “good”, and far away from how she was at the beginning of the school year, her mother and Rosethorn make those thoughts tolerable even if barely. Her eyelids are still heavy, and she feels tired all the time. Regeneration does little to ease the troubles of the mind.
Her mind and mood are in a strange place where it knows it isn’t in a good spot, she needs to heal, but she can’t bring herself to rise or fall down the rabbit hole of negativity. A feeling of existential void that numbs emotions and feelings.
Some say it is better to feel pain than nothingness, but Orochi doesn’t know how true those words are. She is numb, and doesn’t have the will to do anything in the gym other than sit on a bench, stare at the ceiling, and drink an energy drink, for real this time.
It is better than what happened yesterday, far better. ‘This is temporary. I need to get myself together, or I will repeat this cycle over and over, but how do I get better?’ While her father has wisdom and insight about life, it won’t be enough to help her.
He has a unique way of perceiving the world because of his strength and devotion to martial arts. She lacks the strength and the knowledge to make use of his wisdom. ‘Martial arts are a way of life to him, for me, it is a tool.’ His words can be profound, but she won’t understand their meaning or how it can help her.
Kaylee would reap more benefits from listening to him than she ever will. ‘If only I inherited your stupid otherworldly strength, papa.’ It certainly is coping, most likely an excuse to justify her weakness, but how can she understand those things? Her family is made of different mutants.
Akane is not like her mother or father, mother and father deal with life in different ways, Kyoko is a lazier copy of her father, and she isn’t like any of them! How can one expect to see the world like the other, when everything is so different?
Few understand the way she lives her life, with care to avoid hurting anyone, and scared of poisoning someone by accident. Her mother is living proof of this concept. She never understood how she led her life, how hard she tried to keep those who couldn’t deal with her safe.
The reason why she fought in school, was to protect her classmates from bigger and meaner kids. For her mother, Orochi never understood the gravity of her quirk, but this is false. Since her early years, she understood how her quirk worked, at least the poison, and did her best to avoid using it against anyone who wasn’t family.
But for Atsushi Nabiki, Orochi was but a rebel girl who didn’t understand the world. ‘She is right about one thing, I don’t understand this world, but I’m no rebel.’ Everything she did was to escape her mother’s control, how she wanted to dictate her life and way of being.
‘Why do my thoughts always come at you, Mom?’ Orochi sighs again, moving her tail away from the bench just in case others want to come and sit. It feels so confusing all the time. This numbness, her mind, her life. Orochi feels at a crossroads without a compass to show where she should go next.
Her father would talk about how martial arts can enlighten you in life, make you realize your objectives, and where your dreams and true self lie. She never understood it, for all of her life, she saw martial arts as a means to an end, to get better to protect others.
Maybe she is näive and too young to understand her father’s words. She is too inexperienced to see how her thoughts, ideology, and knowledge of self can make her do better.
She perceives the world differently from her father. She can’t grasp what he means by “martial arts can enlighten you to life” and how it can make her stronger and at peace with herself… “I feel so tired.”
(...)
In the distance, he sees Orochi, the only person in the gym besides him. The rest of the class, including the boys™, are busy in preparation for the spook month while Sandatsu… is doing things.
‘Honestly, what is Sandy even doing nowadays? He is hanging out with us less and less lately.’ Strange things are happening to their class. An S-class villain attacking Orochi, Chris went to the hospital thrice. ‘I guess everyone is starting to notice this too.’
While he kept a laid-back persona, he is not dumb and unperceptive. ‘If we go by the disgrace chart, I think only I and Hifumi have to meet something bad, and Sandy.’ Sandatsu can be a little quirky, but he is not a bad guy.
Almost everyone, save a few exceptions, was in the middle of a mess lately. He and Hifumi, and Sandy are the notable exceptions.
Sandatsu’s plate must be full too, but right now they are the only ones left without a bigger-than-life fight falling on their heads. ‘This explains Rosethorn’s mood lately.’ Bobby clenched his fist tight. If he noticed, there is no way people like Chris, Imai, and Orochi hadn’t noticed it too.
He needs to get stronger, train, and be better. He can’t slack off when everyone is waging battles larger than their life ought to be. They are students, but this won’t deter villains. Everyone is noticing this too.
Even if the tomfoolery and pranks they pull can push back the darkness, the negativity, the normal days when the usual suspects don’t cheer the mood is growing colder with apathy and fear. His classmates can be anything, but they are not dumb. They are noticing the winds changing direction.
But what can he do? He is an average dude too, like everyone else in the class. They have powers, they are heroes, but they are not super. This is why he has to become stronger… like his father was.
Bobby shakes his head and walks up to a punching bag. There won’t be a sparring partner today. Orochi is far too deep in her funk for him to help her or ask for help.
He wants to help her, he really does, but he doesn’t know what to do in this situation or how to help Orochi, who is visibly astray, no matter how much she tries to hide it. A pang of emotional pain hit his psyche, cursing him for not helping.
‘How can I help her? I don’t even know how I will help myself.’ While heroism should come easy given WHO his father is, his tenure in this school hadn’t answered any doubts he has regarding hero work, or how to be one.
He doesn’t know when heroism will appear within him, if it is something you nurture, or if it is lying dormant inside you, how to be a “good hero” like his father and mother. There are many questions without answers, questions this school won’t be able to answer, most of the time, only you can answer.
Walking away, Bobby resigns himself. There is nothing he can do to help right now, but when he can, he will come back to help. ‘There is nothing I can…’
“I feel so tired.”
He stops on his walking. Orochi has spoken to no one, Bobby knows it. Her voice is low and aimless. If he walked more, it would be impossible to hear it. Her voice sounded tired, without energy to spend, lost, and without perspective of a new life.
A tone, a voice he knows too well. It is the voice of those down on the ground who don’t know what to do in life, so lost that everything feels the same, every day a struggle for purpose and meaning, if it is not a struggle for survival and respite.
It is a voice he heard many times (a voice he heard from himself), and the mere act of ignoring it, a silent plea for help expressed so simply like “I’m so tired”, that makes a lump form in his throat.
Bobby can feel she is not alright. She is asking for help in true Japanese fashion, asking for help where no one can hear her plea.
Can he ignore this plea and say it is not his job or that he doesn’t know how to help because it is easier than dealing with someone else’s problem? He knows he won’t ever be like his father, a perfect hero, but he is no scum that will blatantly abandon someone with a problem and hurt he can understand.
How often did he feel like this when there was nothing to eat, and wondered if anything was worth the price? Or when his mother silently muttered those words, putting a bravado to ease him and his worries.
His fists shake and quake as Bobby turns on his heel. It is hard, the pain of uncertainty and doubt if it will be enough to pull someone out of negativity. He doesn’t know how to do it, but he won’t let a friend wallow and sink further in the same doubts, fears, this numbness that living in struggle brings.
‘I’m such a hypocrite.’ Not wanting to help her because he doesn’t know to, but changing his mind the moment she shows emotions he can relate on a personal level, but even if he is a hypocrite, he will try to help his friend.
“Hi, Orochi! Alone here again?” Bobby swallows saliva, attempting to appear as casual as possible. He doesn’t know where this should go, but it should be as natural as possible. People with the same hurt as her who need help will blatantly refuse if they notice someone is trying to help them from the beginning.
They will do it to feel like they are okay. They lie to themselves, saying that they can solve it alone. They will do it because they don’t want others to worry or feel pity towards them.
He has been there before. Purple orbs with slit pupils look at him. Orochi opens her mouth a few times. Orochi chooses her words carefully to avoid speaking nonsense or being too intrusive, rough, or annoying. “Hi, Bobby. Yeah, I think so.”
Contrary to last time, when she was bored and alone, her voice lacked the characteristic confidence and bouncing happiness the dragon girl usually has. It sounds tired, lackluster, almost sleepy in a sense.
It is nothing like the girl who challenged him to a spar some months ago.
‘Orochi always has been to the point with everything she does or talks. Beating around the bush won’t bring any good, and she will go away, yet how far can I push the talk without making her who away?’
“So, how have you and the boys doing? Good, I hope.” For a moment, the spark in her voice returns, a genuine and sincere wish for their well-being, almost like a plea. Hoping her words work like a luck charm and ward off evil.
His mouth dries as his stomach clenches. Orochi knows what is happening in their class, or she realizes something is off but can’t pinpoint what. Some of their classmates keep their mouths shut, preferring silence rather than accepting that problems are starting to pile up.
The problems in their class are an open secret that a few still have to figure out or notice. By the tired look in her eyes, Orochi figured it out. “We are good, good as we can be. Anyway, Orochi, are you okay? Some of us are starting to worry about you, you know?”
His heart races as the dragon girl’s eyes widen before returning to their usual size a second later. “I… am not okay. If you guys can notice it, I think it is no use to hide it any further. After Feral’s attack, I… noticed how bad things are around us, our friends.”
Her voice comes as a whisper while the middle dragon's head groans and whines. “I’m not doing okay. I don’t know what to do or think as my friends go knee-deep in danger, and I eat snacks and cupcakes while you guys are suffering and going through what I went with Feral.”
She chuckles, a chuckle so full of hatred, fear, and melancholy that it would’ve lodged itself in the throat of anyone who tried to let it out, choking them to death, and once again, Orochi proves herself as above what people expect of her, not that it is a bad a thing most of the time.
‘But letting something so negative out of you is not a good thing, no matter the strength you use to get it out.’
“I thought I had strength, yet my strength is so little. I want to help you guys, do justice to what I said in the first test of the year, what it means to be a hero to me, but I don’t know how. I thought that with my strength, I could achieve it. I’m not sure of my strength anymore. I don’t know if I can be the hero I want to be.”
‘A strength that barely held back Feral’ They conclude the rest of the phrase in their minds.
“I don’t know what to do. I want to, but I don’t know.” She facepalms, holding her face as her shoulders tremble and twitch. Orochi is aware of her shortcomings but lost her confidence.
She doesn’t know how to cope with it all. Bobby was right in his early assumption. He doesn’t know how to help her, but he has to try now that he is here. “I know this feeling as well, Orochi. Before coming to Shinketsu, I was a delinquent, lost in life doing shady things.”
Bobby fights back the urge to look away as he speaks about his past, not wanting to remember these days. His problems and Orochi’s problems stem from different roots, but he hopes it can be enough to connect to her.
“I thought I had some power too until I didn’t, and they sent me here. I did some nasty stuff, Orochi. I thought I had the power to fight for my fate, but I didn’t, and it was crushing me at the time.” He was taken from his home country, forced to learn Japanese in a pinch, and thrust upon a City and school he knew nothing about.
It was disheartening and crushing to have his life take a 180-degree turn. “I thought I wouldn’t manage, that it was too hard, but I’m here today. Many days I felt displaced and on the verge of collapse. It was hard, but I managed to survive and become stronger.”
He made friends. He has true friends who will be with him through hell and high waters. It wasn’t easy, but the reward was worth the effort.
Orochi’s ears fall as she hears his words, closing her eyes in contemplative thoughts. “I know it, it is just that… I don’t feel that my convictions are valid anymore. I failed once. I can fail again and again. How can I keep going if I am going to fail my friends when they need me the most?”
‘Shit, she caught me here.’ Despite not looking like it half of the time, Orochi comes from a well-established and ancient Japanese family. Of course, honor culture and ideology are engraved deep in her core.
But as an American, he has different views than her, a humbler viewpoint than the honor and code bound she has with her ideology and way of life. “You cannot live without failing once. You can walk one step at a time, but you will stumble twice while you do it, and one of these stumbles will make you fall to the ground.”
“But you will learn with those stumbles and falls. You cannot escape failure, but you can become better. You can make it happen less and less. Even if you fail a thousand times, you will succeed one time. The important thing is to keep trying and not lose hope.”
If he was Inigo or Hifumi, this speech could’ve been better, deeper, and with more meaning than his. He is a simple guy, after all. He doesn’t know the whole Japanese mambo jumbo or culture.
All he understands is what he can grasp and see. Bobby isn’t a guy who can see the invisible and understand feelings and psychological stuff, but he will try his best for his friends.
All he can do for her is swallow observations and what he believes is right. “So believe in yourself, you don’t fail us, but even if you think you did, continue to be better, do better so you won’t fail again, Orochi. Don’t stay down. If anything, if one of the twin dragons of 1-D breaks, I think the classroom is going to implode!”
Bobby tries to slide in a joke to lighten their mood. Bobby doesn’t know if this gamble to see if Orochi can crack a smile or better her humor. Orochi blinks a few times, taking time to analyze the joke. “If I’m one of the twin dragons of 1-D, who is the other?” Her numb and sad expression blanks.
“Inigo, of course. You are the only dragons in your class, and they love shenanigans more than anyone else.” The blank expression of Orochi soon morphs into something else, twisting as a fit of laughter comes.
Her belly clenched while stray tears fell from her eyes. Not from sadness, going by how hearty and loud her laugh is. Bobby smiles at how his joke hit home and lightened the mood.
Orochi holds her stomach while her other two tails sleeping on the ground get up, moving with renewed energy like they were awake this whole time. For an instant, the spark she had comes out to the surface— old Orochi still is there, underneath layers of rust and doubt.
It is proof that it is possible to bring her back. She is there and is not lost. Orochi just lost her confidence. Regaining confidence in yourself is an arduous task but it is not impossible. ‘Inigo, you magnificent bastard, we will need all the help we can get to help our friend here.’
Orochi laughs for several minutes. Her laughing fit continues, slowly dying out, her tails staring at each other before flinging their bodies like whips against each other, hissing and growling.
“You— how long did you hold on to that one? Do people seriously call us that?” Orochi heart beats like a car engine with joy and happiness, no matter how small. It is as temporary as any feeling she has now, but it brought out something she had forgotten.
Under a coat of falsehood and acting, how she used to be, even for a few minutes, is back. An ephemeral miracle. “Yes, but we don’t call either of you that when you are in earshot. Inigo would get the zoomies because of the title, and you would divorce our heads from the neck.”
“You are damn right, I would!” Orochi speaks naturally, without delay or hesitation, letting out a howling laughter after, ignoring the context of her words as she laughs. Bobby can’t help but feel a chill in his spine as he stares at the laughing dragon girl.
She clears the sides of her eyes with a small and content smile on her lips. “Thanks for lifting me, Bobby… if you aren’t going to be bothered by it, can you help me with something?”
Bobby blinks but nods. ‘It is Orochi. It won’t be anything bad.’
“I want you to spar me, go all out, no holdback. I need to do better and figure myself out. After Kaylee and myself, you are the strongest in the physical strength department. I can take as many punches as needed until I learn… I beg you, please, help me figure things out my way.”
While Orochi can be a smartass when she wants and is understandable, it doesn’t change the fact she is a doer, not a talker. Orochi sees the world differently from others, learning by action and not hearing others speak.
The only one who can truly help her come back and stand up again is Orochi herself. She understands that and is capitalizing on the chance. She doesn’t know when she will feel this good again, without shadows in her mind and heart to hinder her efforts.
“Alright, I can do it, but you know it is daylight. I’m stronger than you right now, so you should take care, okay?”
“Do you think I hadn’t accounted for that when I said you are the strongest after me?” Orochi smirks defiantly. She takes out her hoodie and throws it on the bench. She walks several feet away from the bench and takes a fighting stance. Uncaring if they are on the floor or a ring.
“We should go to a ring at least… but I guess you won’t hear me now, will you?” Her eyes shine with resolve and stubbornness. No amount of talking will change her mind. “So, let’s start it, then.”
(...)
Both fighters take a deep breath, a silent countdown in their minds.
3.
Orochi’s tails rise to meet the challenger, their void eyes able to stare at every point in the room but staring at nowhere because of their lack of features.
2.
Bobby flexes his muscles, his heart racing, not at the prospect of a good fight but because of the roughness Orochi asked for. This fight will not be a normal one.
1.
Yamata’s mind wavers, regretting having asked to fight Sunlight Man at his full potential. She doesn’t know if the gym will be enough to contain either of them when it escalates, but she can’t run away. She has to fight. Stand up and be strong, and be better for her friends.
‘I won’t let anyone hurt Kaylee, Chris, or my friends ever again.’ The hydra/dragon girl reassures herself. Orochi’s words are not a lie she is telling herself this time. She is scared. She still has to find her path. She will be a mess when this is over. But Bobby only said truths.
If she worries about her failures, she won’t be able to help her friends fight their problems. She won’t be there to protect them. She is scared and afraid, but Orochi has to fight and seize the chance. No one can tell when she will have another opportunity to figure herself out.
Bobby sees her wavering stance. Her previous fighting stances were open, but they were airtight, the gap in her defenses meant to lure the enemy and counter-attack, using her endurance and regeneration to wear down the attacker and finish him off quickly. Now, it is her intent wavering, her posture unsteady.
‘You are my friend. I will help you the best I can, Orochi. This road won’t be easy, but I hope you know you won’t thread it alone.’ Bobby clenched fists, veins jumping on his arm and the back of his palm.
He is doubtful about the future and ashamed of some things he did in the past, but his friends, the Boys™, Kim made him seem worthy in the present, and the way to pave the future is by living the present and acting as your best self. He will help Orochi realize her path of today or blow away a part of her burdens.
0.
(AN: Dragon/Hydra heads mean a convergence in the views of Bobby and Orochi. Bobby sees Orochi’s headtails as dragons, while Orochi sees them as Hydras. Also, from now on their names change to Sunlight Man and Yamata, their hero names, because they are going to beat the crap out of each other in serious mode)
The fighters stare at each other. One wavering and unsure inside her heart of hearts, the other doubtful but resolute in what he thinks is right. Silently, the fight starts.
Crossing the distance in the blink of an eye, Sunlight Man leaves a trail of golden light behind him, appearing right before Yamata, who widens her eyes in surprise. ‘Since when did he become so fast?!’
His fists glimmer in golden light as he launches a jab at frightening speeds, the air snapping under the strength of his fist. His fist connects to Orochi’s ribs, and the loud sound of flesh hit caused by the pressure of a heavy-hitting object echoes through the deserted gym.
Yamata bites her lip, clenching her mouth shut, not letting a gulp of air leave her lungs, and counterattacks with a jab of her own. Her left hand and hydra head sprang into action to hit the right side of Sunlight Man’s torso.
Yet all Sunlight Man sees are the painfully slow movements of her tail and fist. Unlike how they sparred months ago, this slowness was uncharacteristic of the girl who included breakdance of all things in a combat stance!
Her stance and speed feel wrong as if they belong to another person, but his eyes don’t deceive him. The girl before him still is Yamata. Sunlight Man doesn’t change instances nor tries to avoid the attack. He takes the chance to unleash a fury of attacks towards her.
His punches were like relentless pistons hitting the Yamata’s ribs, belly, and chest. She plants her feet firmly on the ground, refusing to be moved by his attacks, choking back the need to blow off the air in her lungs and stagger under the relentless fury.
When her attack finally connects, one headbutt to his neck, courtesy of the right tail, and a punch to his ribs, of Yamata, he doesn’t feel. Only the impact resounds, but there is no damage.
He blinks as Yamata's eyes go wide over the realization. ‘I did hit, how, what—’ Before she has time to process this information of her attack failing to damage the Sunlight Man, she is met with an uppercut to the chin.
Her vision hazes for a second, losing concentration to keep her feet landing, her heart raising at the worry of being left open for another attack. Yamata throws her face down, using her left and right tail for leverage to stand up and not change in position, but Sunlight Man has anticipated that.
After she throws her head down, he hits her with a right hook to the middle of her face. Her nose cracks and breaks as blood starts to fall off it, her concentration broken as air blows out of her lungs, her body shaking because of the impact and loss of focus.
Orochi’s actions get stuck in her nervous system as her brain fails to discern what to do. Sunlight Man’s attack knocks her out of sense for a few seconds.
Because of the strength of his right hook, it pushes Yamata's foot or two back. Painting, her vision focused immediately on Sunlight Man, her regeneration kicking in and realigning her nose and halting the bleeding as if it wasn’t there.
Wordlessly, their fight starts again. They trade punches at breakneck speed in their fist fight. Their attacks hit the other mercilessly. Yamata does not use just one tail to attack, but all three attacking Sunlight Man from multiple directions, giving him no leeway to dodge her hands or hydra heads.
Yet, he doesn’t try to dodge any of Orochi’s punches, enduring them and now showing any sign of damage. While Yamata feels the impact of his punches and kicks Sunlight man brings him to counterbalance her hydra heads.
Each attack is powerful and heavy, sending her heart beating with worry and fear of why she is not causing damage. Why are her attacks so slow and weak? “Since when did you grow so strong? In the tourney, we were on the same level before…”
While Sunlight Man is faster and stronger under the sunlight, she is more durable and has more stamina. Yet, why doesn’t she hurt him? Why do her attacks fail to have weight? What is she doing wrong? Her face contorted into worry and self-hatred at her weakness when she talked and thought big about helping her friends.
Meanwhile, Sunlight Man smiles sadly, melancholy spreading in his dimmed face. “I didn’t grow strong, Yamata, you had grown weak… tell me, why are you fighting? For what reason? Once you had a thought or motive for every action. Now you feel… like you are just lashing out randomly, hoping to do damage.”
He connects a jab to her chest again. Yamata gasps for air, her body contorting into a “>” position. Her eyes widened because of his words. “Yamata, why do you fight? You said it. You need to find yourself while you can. So tell me, why do you fight?”
His voice doesn’t sound accusing or intense. It is the same friendly tone he has, but somber. He is not demanding an answer or cornering Orochi to a corner. No. He knows his friend, and she can only by herself, only she can answer those answers.
She needs to ask and answer herself. He is nudging her in the right direction. “I learned kickboxing to go to underground fighting rings, win, and get money to help my mom keep us alive and afloat despite our misery.”
Sunlight Man hits her face with a hook (again), and her pearly white skin becomes reddish purple under his fist, but it is healed by her regeneration back to its original pearly color. Despite her healing factor, his punch throws Yamata out of balance, almost knocking her out.
Her hydra heads wagging like confused worms, her feet almost slipping on the ground as Yamata’s heart races because of his words, confusion, worry, fear, resolution, and anxiety rushing in her eyes like lightning bolts coming all at once. Her lips dry as sweat falls to the ground.
“Now I like to think I fight for the innocents, that I fight for a good reason like my father, that I have a chance in the hero career. I fight for my girlfriend, then why do you fight, Yamata?” With a last jab to her chin, Yamata loses balance, falling to the ground.
Painting, eyes wide-eyed. Orochi feels the bruises and hurt across her body vanish, but Sunlight Man’s words hammer her brain like it is a nail. For what is she fighting, and for whom is fighting fighting now? She failed once. She can fail twice.
She has to get back, but how? This is her question and always has been. How?
Sunlight man keeps his distance, waiting for her to get up. His golden aura shone like a star in the midnight skies, grazing her purple orbs with almost blinding yellow light. Orochi takes a deep breath.
*“Now I like to think I fight for the innocents, that I fight for a good reason like my father, that I have a chance in the hero career. I fight for my girlfriend, then why do you fight, Yamata?” *
A metaphorical crack in her skull, the hammer swings once.
“I learned kickboxing to go to underground fighting rings, win, and get money to help my mom keep us alive and afloat despite our misery.”
Something breaks open as the hammer swings again, her mind and head hurting, and her tails stop moving, all of them. It is only her mind, her heartbeats and self. Her panting self is sweating on the ground.
Her limbs feel heavy as if shackled to the ground and then placed under concrete.
“Yamata, why do you fight? You said it. You need to find yourself while you can. So tell me, why do you fight?”
Kyoko. Kaylee. Yui. Her friends. Her family. Everyone, the innocents. This is how she used to be. This is what she believed.
But she failed them. Will they ever believe in her again? Will they forgive her weakness and selfishness? She doesn’t know.
Sunlight Man fought through the darkness if she trusts his vague words, and he is her friend. He is an honest and goof guy who knows how to be serious when needed. He is telling the truth.
Sunlight Man fought the doubts in his heart and became better for his mom. He may have doubted himself and his actions too. No, Sunlight Man regrets some of them, Yamata could feel through his words. He felt weak like her, feeling like the world came crashing down and his strength was robbed when he needed it the most.
“I didn’t grow strong, Yamata, you had grown weak… tell me, why are you fighting? For what reason? Once you had a thought or motive for every action. Now you feel… like you are just lashing out randomly, hoping to do damage.”
The hammer cracks the core of her being open. She fought tooth and nail to become who she is today, clashed against her mother, did stuff she now regrets, and had the help of her father to come to Shiketsu and choose a better path for herself.
She learned to break dance to defeat a bully who used the same style, a bully who ended up as a friend years later. She learned how to control herself and her impulses to not hurt others with her poison or strength.
To keep distance but still be there to help when needed, to avoid becoming a monster. Everything Yamata did was for a reason, even the stupid stuff. Goof around with Inigo, help Yui with her problems, and be her friend. Annoy the She-Gorilla and brawl against her for giggles.
Even if it was stupid, it wasn’t malicious, not in her heart. It was true and with purpose. She is a faker and aimless now.
“Orochi… Chris's life, Kaylee's… all of this class is a mess. I’m sad to say this, but things are escalating far from the control of one or two people.”
They all have fights, wars to wage, and races to finish. They worry about Yamata’s well-being as she worries about them. They are her friends. She loves them like family. She wants to bring them to the Atsushi Estate and present them to her huggy buggy of a little sister and her cool father.
Maybe her mother now that she is calm.
“The only thing we can do is… to be better. We can’t stop problems from coming into our lives or make them vanish mysteriously.”
To fight and be better, like Sunlight Man said. To be better like Aiko Sensei said. She has to fight and struggle to be her better self. It won’t come easy. She doesn’t know how to be her best self, but she knows why she needs to thrive and strive for greatness of self.
For her friends, her family. Yamata is scared in her heart. Feral still haunts her darkest nightmares and waking life.
Not directly, but in the worry she was for her friends, the fear of a villain assaulting them, doing the same thing Feral did to her. She worries for them. She cares for them as they care for her.
Sally… even if the rock start of their relationship, Sally was there to quench her worries and help her through it in the Hospital. Chris and Yuinever stopped coming to see her. Inigo gave her a teddy bear, that damn teddy bear with three arms sewn on it that she keeps around in her bed to hug on dark nights when sleeping is hard. She will never say it to him, but Yamata cherishes this simple gift.
“You are not a failure, a disappointment. You are young. You will become stronger. You will make up with your friends. I believe in you, and so do they. Don’t sell yourself short, or I will cry with you too.
Yamata, no. It is not only Yamata, the Hero persona of Atsushi Orochi, but herself as a person who has to grow. She hadn’t fought Feral as Yamata, but Atsushi Orochi. Atsushi Orochi, a civilian and hero trainee survived the fight without the power and confidence of her Hero persona.
That fight was personal. It shows how much Orochi has to grow as a person so she can be a better hero.
She is afraid. She is scared. She will be a mess after she comes home, but she won’t be as much of a mess anymore! She will need help along the way. She is far from perfect, but she won’t stop anymore.
Even if it hurts, even if Orochi has to choke her tears, she will rise up to face the challenge. Like Chris did, as Kaylee did, like Sunlight Man, no, Bobby did. Staying down on the ground is easy, but fighting to the last is difficult.
Sometimes, it is the hardest thing some people can do, the hardest thing in life. Her friends stood up. In the times of yore when villains and cruelty appeared en masse at the beginning of quirks, there were vigilantes, but once they were labeled heroes, who stood up to fight.
Be it the past, the present, or the future, it is the duty of the strong and righteous to stand up and fight. Even if they are a cog in this system, heroes must fight and defeat villainy and the cruelty it brings.
Orochi stands up, her tails springing back to life as she does so, her purple eyes focused on what she has to do. Her stance is straighter and unwavering. “I fight for my friends, for justice, and for what I think it means to be a hero. I fight for my family and the name I must uphold.”
Like those who came before her and those who will come after. “I will be a mess, I will be doubtful and afraid, but I found why I should fight. The nightmares will not fade away. I will weep at night, but I will fight. I can’t give myself the luxury to fall in self-pity and misery while my friends struggle against their problems and life itself.”
Orochi clenches her firsts. “Thanks, Bobby. For showing me who I am. Even if I’m afraid even if I doubt my strength and worth, I am still myself. Atsushi Orochi. I lost sight of myself. Thanks for opening my eyes.”
Bobby smiles, readying his stance. “Now, let’s finish it, shall we?” The Sunlight man advances in a golden flash, but this time, her eyes can keep track of his speed. Orochi readies herself for the finale.
‘Father, I’m sorry for not understanding you at that time when you said martial arts define who you are here and your ideals. I know now who I am, a thorny shield who protects those behind her and hurts those before her.’
She will protect her friends, and she won’t fail again. If she fails, Orochi will get payback from those who dared to hurt her friends.
Like a lightning bolt, Bobby closes the distance, ready for a last jab with all of his strength. Her heart beats with excitement, the excitement of a good fight, yet she feels calm, as if in her natural habitat. “Thanks, Bobby.” With a sweet smile, Orochi attacks with a hab of her own.
Bobby is faster than her, and his jab connects to her face. A loud impact reverberates in the room. Her vision grows numb for a second, the inside of her eardrums buzzing like a thousand wingbeats, her nose clogging.
Yet she stands instead of giving up. Orochi throws her face against the punch, pushing it back alongside Bobby’s fist, much to his surprise.
Before Bobby can disengage, Orochi’s fist goes out like a locked spring going out on the middle of his chest. Orochi’s strength applied to a small focal point on his chest as her fist connected to his body, a small shockwave forming itself on the contact of her attack and Bobby’s chest.
Flesh quivers and shakes as the impact and damage finally are registered in Bobby’s mind and body, making up for all her failed attacks in one go, throwing the taller blonde boy on the ground. His eyes go white as a dumbfounded expression paints his face.
Orochi smiles victorious while her sparring partner snarks in his mind.
‘If I knew you would hit me so hard, I wouldn’t have told you anything!’ He laughs in his mind because his lungs lack the air to make it physical.