`` Yo, whos manz is this?! ,,

September 26th, 2026: (Rewritten entry.) I spent today with my sister and her boyfriend, i love my sister lots and lots. we played board games, uno, watched a movie, and even went shopping :)) I got Vol. 23 of bluelock and Vol. 1 of Episode Nagi. i felt happy today which is a rare emotion to me, it's hard to express but i feel complete around felix and my sister. today i did not feel so alone for once, i had fun and the paranoia wasnt eating at my brain, all the manic feelings were away and i felt okay, i love my brain right now and i wish it could stay this way forever. I wonder what other puzzles i can solve like this.

September 27th, 2026: Today kinda sucked, it was boring and i was in agonizing pain the whole day (wow, so new). though i was more in thought about how other brains work, are some people more focused on acting in the moment or do neurotypical people use their brain less? Im confused with perspective and this is the one thing holding me back from completely understanding other people. -- Anyway, i got two redbulls today, one coconut and one juneberry because my brother wanted me to try a new flavor so i just got coconut. The paranoia is back, it's awful.

September 28th, 2026.: All my friends are ignoring me and i got ghosted by 3 moots which isnt good, i had a horrible day today and i just want to climb into bed and never wake up. the paranoia is back and it hurts so badly, my body hurts, my head hurts, my heart hurts, and my ears hurt. i feel so alone again and this week is just a rollercoaster of emotions, i never want to feel this way again. I hope my parcel arrives soon.

September 29th, 2026: Ghosted my two closest friends #lifeisworthit. I also skipped school #lifeisworthit. didnt have to present in history #lifeisworthit. i hope my parcel arrives TOMORROW

October 3rd, 2026: I cant take it anymore.