Sonic.exe Writing Hall of Shame
Xenophanes
- Everything about his new lore. He's from space, but why? What are those crystals for? Why does he have or need a human form?
Fatal Error
- How did he get so powerful from eating a Genesis game? (4 mb)
- Why and how did the AI malfunction and gain self awareness?
- How in the FUCK did it gain KAIJU TRANSFORMATIONS?
- Why does he still torture the Sonic characters? They're clearly not people trapped in their bodies, so he's basically wasting his time torturing unresponsive lines of code.
Starved
- Why did his dumb ass eat that flicky?
- Why didn't Mighty, the guy with super strength, avenge his friend's death?
- It's been years since Prey, yet Sonic's body still appears basically intact in Fight or Flight. Starved has been eating tiny pieces of him for special -occasions, but how has he not decayed yet?
- He managed to pin Tails down and eat one of his tails. Why did he not just cook him then and there? How did Tails not faint or die of blood loss?
- Does Starved eat them raw or not? It's said he only eats cooked meat yet he clearly eats Tails alive if you die.
- The official backstory says that his cleverness and wits slowly fade away as he becomes more consumed by his primal hunger. Yet in Fight or Flight he apparently is still clever enough to rely on Tails succumbing to his fear.
- Malnutrition probably doesn't turn you into a walking lava lamp.
- Why was Sonic so fucking out of character in Prey?
- Tails, the kid with 200 IQ, waits for several years to get revenge and does it with a tiny kitchen knife instead of some giant mecha or whatever.
- Why would a fox need night vision goggles?
Hog and Scorched
- Why was the slightly intriguing old lore scrapped in favor of some CWC dimensional merge bullshit?
- Why is Sonic so OOC?
- Hog is a bootleg Sonic by another company. However, a design so similar to Sonic would get them sued regardless.
Curse
- Why did Knuckles, the guy who can glide and has super strength, job to gravity?
- If a landslide had killed Knuckles, why do people blame Sonic? Proving it would be trivially easy.
- Why does Robotnik suddenly become a good guy who helps his archnemesis?
- Why was Tails suddenly female AND mean to Sonic?
- What the fuck is an 'X' phenomena?
- What does the curse fucking entail, actually?!
- "After the attempted drowning"...?
- Why is Metal Sonic a little cuck bitch who lives to defend Sonic? Even if Robotnik became a good guy, Metal Sonic would absolutely flip his shit at the prospect of helping him if it meant protecting the one person that stood between him and being the only Sonic around.
- Portal gun and million dollar suitcase? Huh?
Requital
- How would dying over and over not only change his palette but make him lose two of his hair bangs?
- If "game logic" is applied, shouldn't Sonic have extra lives/take no fall damage from the Carnival Night Zone betrayal?
- Why the fuck does he have a beast form?
- Where'd that ribbon scarf come from?
- Hates Sonic and all things Sonic, yet still ritualistically smears himself with his blood weekly.
Sally_ALT
- How did killing Sonic_ALT give her his powers?
- Why did he have powers to begin with?
Satanos
- Why is the devil LARPing as a furry?
Needlemouse
- The entire series, at this point.
Devoid
- How did Robotnik transfer his mind into a giant rock planet?
- If Robotnik told him he had complete control over the time stones, why did Sonic try to use them?
- Why didn't Sonic use one of the time travel posts?
- How did RUNNING FAST manage to RETURN HIM TO THE TIMELINE AFTER BEING RETCONNED OUT OF EXISTENCE???
- Why does Sonic's personality take a complete 180?
- Where did he fucking get the Majin mask from?
- Why is his face gone? Why does it... do something to people who gaze into it?
- Why does he hate the name Sonic now?