“So, let me get this straight.”

”Shoot.”
You stared at Anonymous, the Human you’d volunteered to watch for your neighbor while she was out of town for the long weekend, and you were at your wits end
At first, he’d been acting kind of weird for a Human
You knew she always seemed so proud of how smart he was, but he’d seemed just a little TOO intelligent for your liking
Not only could he open and shut doors and even locks, but at first, you’d found him turning on the tv and actually flipping through channels!
Then, you’d heard rustling around at night, and you watched him cooking soup, which he’d managed to get out of a can with a can opener! He’d even recycled the can properly!
Finally, the day that she was due to be back, you’d heard him ordering a pizza
A
Fucking
Pizza
Sure, Humans could mimic some stuff, but he actually answered questions!
You’d confronted him about it, and he told you one doozy of a story, about how he’d been sucked through a wormhole and landed here
How he immediately began to act like the other Humans here, using his intelligence to act absolutely adorable which let him get what he wanted
Supposedly he wasn’t even in the pound for more than a few hours before he’d convinced your neighbor to adopt him
And now, you wanted to know why

”So, instead of outing yourself as a super-intelligent Human, getting a show, being the subject of fame and renown for who knows how long, you decided to Humanshit your way into being someone’s pet?”

”That’s about the long and short of it, yeah.”

“I just…why? Why would you…I mean come on! There has to be a reason why you’d even consider doing something like this! If you’re as smart as we are, this must be so demeaning, why on Terra would you DO this to yourself?”

Just then, there was a knock on the door, your neighbor's voice reaching past it and to the two of you
You wanted to confront her to tell her what he’d told you, to let her know what was going on, but you just couldn’t
You were far too shell-shocked, and you knew how absolutely insane you’d sound
So, you opened the door, had a small conversation with her, and as you did, you tried not to flinch when Anonymous bounded over, hugging her around her waist
Your neighbor, his OWNER, started baby-talking him, lifting him up and hugging him, burying him in kisses before thanking you again for watching him
Then, right as they went to leave, she stopped, smiling at you obliviously as Anonymous climbed down from her arms, rushed over to you, and pressed himself against your legs, his face finding your belly
Pushing himself up onto his tip toes, he whispered to you in a voice so quiet you could barely even hear it
”Why?”
He said, a mischievous grin growing on his face as he stared up at your, almost hidden from view by your chest
”It’s my fetish~”