Adventures of Sonic The Hedgehog: U Rappin' Cool

I'm not going to waste my time introducing myself so I'll get straight to the point. I'm here to talk about a disturbing experience I had with a Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon.

It was a nice Saturday evening. I had just finished story timing in /exeg/. It was one of my favorite things. I always had a folder with text and images prepared for the moment I had to do a storytime in any thread.

Anyways, I was going to jump on the next thread when suddenly a MEGA link and some jumbled text popped up. I opened the link and immediately my computer started downloading some strange file. It took like an hour and I couldn’t see what was it since the page was not loading properly.

When the download ended, I went to my files and I found a RAR file with over 20 GB.

“If this is dolphin porn I'm going to lose it” I thought to myself.

I clicked on the file and it asked for a password. I remembered the jumbled text so I went to check the thread again, but it was gone. Fortunately I saved it just in case so I typed the password and I got in. There was only one single folder called “SMC”.

I didn’t bother checking it so I extracted everything, which surprisingly didn’t take too long, and when it finished I opened the folder, which to my surprise, it was filled with every single Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon, ova, anime, special and show.

I guessed “SMC” standed for “Sonic Mega Collection”, which was fitting considering it was way too big.

I checked all the folders and every episode was there, with good quality. I was really happy to get this and I thought of saving it on a USB when I realized something was wrong with the Adventures of Sonic The Hedgehog folder. There were 2 videos that were not supposed to be there, one called “U Rappin’ Cool”, and the other one was titled “Episode 66”

“Episode 66? What does this mean? There’s only 65 episodes! Is this some shitty recreation made by a kid?” I was getting a bit pissed, so I clicked on the video, and it was just a shitty porno of a couple dressed as Sonic and Rouge.

I closed the video and threw it in the trashbin, disgusted by what I just saw.

This angered me. Was this a sick trick to infect my PC with a trojan? I went to the recent /exeg/ thread to see if anyone noticed that link, but no one was talking about it. Seems that I was the only one that was there when it was posted, so I decided to check the other video called “U Rappin’ Cool”.

I never heard of this episode before, and even if I had watched the show as a kid, I still remembered all the episode names, so this one was strange. Since I had no other choice, I clicked on the video. Maybe I could do something with this in the next thread.

The opening was normal. No static, no audio issues, no jumpscares, everything was strangely fine, but I was unaware of what lay ahead.

As you might have already guessed, the title of this episode was “U Rappin’ Cool”, which I still had no idea what it meant. The screen showed a shot of Robotnik’s lair, like some episodes used to do. Scratch and Grounder were just chilling. Grounder was lighting a cigar and Scratch was eating from a bag of chips, but everytime he ate a chip it made a really loud noise, it sounded like someone was eating chips in front of a microphone. It was a bit annoying and this scene went on for a minute when suddenly Robotnik called both to show them something.

They quickly ran to him and they were confused because he was very happy, since most of the times he called them was really pissed.

“Scratcher, Grounder, after many defeats from that pesky hedgehog, I finally came up with my most diabolical plan. I never thought this day had to come, but he has made me reach my limit. So I would like to present…
“K.E.V.I.N.” he exclaimed, but nothing happened. Scratch and Grounder looked at eachother, thinking the doctor had lost his mind.

“Excuse me doc, where is that Kevin guy?” asked Grounder.

“Right behind you” Robotnik replied, with an evil grin.

The duo turned around and were face to face with… a human-looking robot that resembled a kid, with an outfit that seemed awfully familiar.

“This is Kevin? He doesn’t seem very strong, how is he going to defeat Sonic?” Scratch asked in confusion.

“First of all, his name is K.E.V.I.N., not Kevin” Robotnik exclaimed “and second, never trust a book by its cover. He might seem like an innocent boy, but he’s able to send anyone into a world of despair. That hedgehog and his little fox friend have no chance against him…”

The scene switched to Sonic and Tails having a picnic. They were having fun when they heard some people around.

They went to look there and they saw a crowd of people cheering someone. There were way too many people and that person was hard to see, but they managed to move through the crowd, finding out that person was none other than K.E.V.I.N., the robot that Robotnik had sent to destroy Sonic.

He was making beeps and bops at the rhythm of a song that a jukebox was playing. Sonic and Tails found this really stupid, but the crowd was amazed by his performance.

When he ended, everyone left, except Sonic and Tails, who wanted to know more about this mysterious person.

“Wow, that wasn’t that bad, kid. Say, do you have a name?” Sonic asked.

“Beep, bap, bop” K.E.V.I.N. replied.

“Ok buddy, the music has already ended, there’s no need to do that.” he said a bit confused.

“Sonic, I think he doesn’t speak our language.” Tails suggested.

“What do you mean, buddy? He’s probably just pranking us!” Sonic laughed. “Alright, I'll introduce myself first. My name is Sonic, the fastest thing alive, and this is my best buddy Tails. Now, what’s your name?”

“Bap beep dobepo.” K.E.V.I.N. said.

“Ah jeez, this is going to be harder than I expected... Say, we were in the middle of a picnic. Mind joining us?” Sonic asked nervously.

K.E.V.I.N. nodded his head in agreement, which made Sonic sigh in relief, knowing he actually understood them.

The episode then showed Sonic, Tails and K.E.V.I.N. doing multiple activities. Sonic and Tails were not aware that Robotnik was spying on them through a camera in K.E.V.I.N.’s cap, plotting something malicious.

The sun was setting and Sonic was ready to leave, when suddenly K.E.V.I.N. handed him a microphone.

“You want me to sing? Are you really sure, kid?” Sonic asked in confusion.

“Bep bodip bap” K.E.V.I.N. replied as always.

“Alright, don’t be disappointed then!” said the blue hedgehog, grabbing the mic and getting ready to sing, when suddenly he started shaking.

“Sonic, are you alright?” asked Tails, very worried.

“Don't worry buddy, it will be f-” Sonic couldn’t finish his sentence, because one of his arms suddenly broke in half, and he started screaming. The rest of his limbs started bending on their own. They weren’t cartoony sounds, it sounded like actual bones snapping. Sonic’s scream also sounded very real, and K.E.V.I.N. was just standing there, without saying anything. For some reason everything around was turning into a different art style, which was very familiar. This took 30 seconds until it reached K.E.V.I.N., and when he got fully converted, my eyes couldn’t believe it.

It was motherfucking Boyfriend from Friday Night Funkin.

“FUNKPEDOPHILIA IN MY KINO SONIC? I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS” I screamed, very angry, as I decided to close this, but a message popped up, saying “If I was you I wouldn’t do that”, but I ignored it and tried to close the video, when the computer gave me an electric shock.

I realized I could not leave, so I sat to watch the whole monstrosity.

Sonic and Tails had already changed, looking like funkshitter characters, which really pissed them off.

“What’s wrong with you?! I thought we were friends! How could you do this to us?” Sonic demanded an answer, but Boyfriend was just laughing at him, when suddenly Eggman appeared in the Egg Mobile, completely unchanged.

“HAHAHAHA! Enjoying your new look, Sonic?” he said, mocking him.

“Robotnik! I knew you were behind this… You better turn everything back to normal!” Sonic demanded.

“Sorry my little rodent, I can’t do that. Once Boyfriend hands over a mic, he can’t revert the effects… unless you beat him in his game, which won’t be possible, haha! Goodbye, Sonic!” he said, as he flew away.

“So all I have to do is play your game right? Well, bring it in!” he told BF, as the screen went black.

A countdown started, and when it reached zero, BF started singing, making his weird ass moves as usual, and Sonic was looking at him strangely. When it was his turn, he tried to mimic him, but he missed some notes. He couldn’t move from his position, only when it was his turn. After figuring out what was all of this about, he then had no issues, and this went on for 3 minutes until the song ended.

“Huff… Now that I played your game, can you just turn everything back to normal?” Sonic asked, when suddenly, I shit you not, Super fucking Mario from the DIC cartoons showed up.

He looked at the screen and grabbed his face, ripping it off clean. There was so much blood and worms around him it made Sonic puke in disgust, but Mario pulled out a gun and shot Sonic until he looked like swiss cheese, doing the same with Boyfriend and Tails. His body was changing, until he looked like…

Churgney Gurgney, alias Sturm.

“What the fuck is all of this about?” I felt like being at the brink of insanity, but I couldn’t stop watching whatever this was.

Churgney then walked into what was left of Sonic and injected him with some weird serum, turning him into Lord X. Suddenly, my eyes couldn’t believe it. My little brother Alan was in the episode, crying of fear.

I was screaming at the computer, pleading Sturm to spare him, but unfortunately he couldn’t hear me. When he got in front of him, he pulled out a mace and bashed his head with it. My little brother’s brains were splattered across the floor, and I only could cry. He then threw his corpse into Tails, making both fuse, and Tails came back to life, and he looked at the screen, calling my name.

I was horrified to hear that voice. Alan had turned into Tails and there was nothing I could do to fix it. After that, Lord X started to chase Alan, as Sturm walked around, wildlife and everything rotting and deforming as each step he took.

In the last scene, Robotnik was in his lair, watching everything in horror, when he spotted Lord X outside. He knew what would happen, so he decided to jump out of the window, and before reaching the ground, the screen went black.

The credits showed a wasteland, and the only thing playing was the wind.

Before reaching the end, the computer shut itself up. I tried to turn it on, but it was no use.

I was very stressed at that moment. My brother had just died at the hands of that lunatic, and there was no way I could explain to my parents what happened, I had a life ahead and prison wasn't what I was looking for. I decided that there was no reason for me to live so I got into the window when something pulled me in, and when I turned around I felt like my heartbeat stopped.

Lord X was in front of me, giving a dreadful smile, as he opened his mouth, I could see multiple screams of tortured souls, and then I passed out.

When I woke up I felt very dizzy, and I had a tube connected to my arm. I looked around and realized I was in a hospital, with medics around me.

“We’re glad you are ok. We found you in your room foaming and screaming “lord x” over and over until you stopped.” said one of the doctors.

I asked where my brother was, and after some minutes talking with my parents they told me he went to a friend’s house. I was glad to hear that but still concerned as to what happened.

When they let me off the hospital, I ran to my house and entered my room, trying to turn on my computer, and this time I was able to make it work. I went to look in that folder, and to my surprise the episode was gone. I looked in the trashbin and it wasn’t there either, so I was relieved that all of that was just a hallucination. Maybe I spent way too much time on the PC, hehe…

Still I had nightmares for several months, and I don’t think I will be forgetting that experience anytime soon…