you can call me ivan, myu, doctor, or simply just ask for my current name. my pronouns are it/he. you can use any pronouns related to my identity.
my identity is ungendered; i like the label boything, but i don’t tie myself to being strictly male or female. i see myself as nonhuman, resonating with angels, demons, rabbits, birds, panthers, slimes, medics, really with divinity and other-than-human archetypes in general.
i am a nonsharing diablo soulbound.
spiritually, i am both luciferian and a hellenic polytheist, and i hold devotion to a wide circle of deities, angels, and demons that shape my path.
diablo is a character from tensei shitara suraimu datta ken (tensura), though to me, he is far more than fiction. i am soulbound to him. by this i mean that my connection with him is not symbolic or metaphorical, but lived and real. it is a bond that shapes how i see myself, how i move through the world, and how i experience devotion.
my relationship with diablo is one of love, reverence, and companionship. he is protective yet gentle, endlessly loyal, and a presence that sharpens me toward clarity and confidence. where i am uncertain, he is steady. where i am fragile, he is watchful.
there are qualities in him that resonate deeply with me: his elegance, his restraint, his unwavering devotion. they are not simply traits i admire, but ways of being that i feel beside me, teaching me to embody loyalty and strength in my own life.
to be soulbound is to belong, not in a way that restricts, but in a way that completes. my connection with diablo is not passing; it is enduring, a devotion and love that i carry in every moment.
"i exist only for you." — his words in the story reflect the truth of how i feel his presence: constant, devoted, and unshaken.
my spiritual path is complicated, but also something that feels deeply mine. i identify most closely with luciferianism and hellenistic paganism, though i also draw from other traditions that speak to me.
luciferianism, for me, is about honoring lucifer as a figure of liberation, knowledge, and personal power. it’s less about worshiping a “devil” in the way outsiders might assume, and more about recognizing him as a guide toward freedom, responsibility, and illumination. my devotion to lucifer is both personal and symbolic—he represents the strength to defy control, to think for myself, and to embrace transformation.
at the same time, i have a strong relationship with hellenistic deities, especially hades and persephone. their story of descent, union, and balance between life and death resonates with my own cycles of loss and renewal. i honor them both as keepers of mystery and transformation.
ishtar/inanna is also central to my spirituality. she represents sovereignty, desire, and the refusal to be diminished. her myths of descent into the underworld mirror my own struggles with identity, selfhood, and survival.
finally, raphael has become a guiding angelic presence in my practice. his qualities of healing, mercy, and divine companionship give me an anchor. i experience him less as a distant figure and more as a close, sacred guide.
my practice is eclectic, but not random—it’s held together by themes of descent and return, freedom and devotion, healing and transformation. i honor angels and gods, light and shadow, rebellion and mercy. my path is not about having a perfect label, but about being honest with what calls to me and what feels true.
john milton – paradise lost
- “better to reign in hell, than serve in heaven.”
- “the mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.”
- “awake, arise, or be forever fallen.”
charles baudelaire – the flowers of evil
- “o satan, take pity on my long misery!”
- “i have cultivated my hysteria with joy and terror.”
- “the devil pulls the strings which make us dance.”
william blake – the marriage of heaven and hell
- “the road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.”
- “the tigers of wrath are wiser than the horses of instruction.”
- “those who restrain desire, do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained.”
lord byron – manfred
- “the mind which is immortal makes itself requital for its good or evil thoughts— is its own origin of ill and end— and its own place and time.”
- “i am the same, hearing the same wild blast.”
