To her immediate relief her words seemed to pacify him.

To her immediate relief her words seemed to pacify him.
Something in his face seemed almost wistful and distant.
"You know, when I began my apprenticeship I saw myself in Rome… Florence… Naples… I even had ambitions of working for the pope alongside the great masters… But it’s like Mesalina said… I’m no Botticelli but I’m good enough for Vitellino’s cathedral."
Still in a panic that Lorenzo would force her out the door she blurted out, "Mesalina doesn’t understand your greatness! She wouldn’t know great art if it offered her wine!" She cringed, half expecting her outburst to earn her another slap.
Lorenzo abruptly re-bolted the door. He seemed to have come back to himself, and appeared self-conscious that he had been so honest with her.
"Tell Severina-" he stammered, suddenly awkward and reserved. "Tell Severina I said you could stay." He said quickly, walling himself off.

⎗

Chapter 5

When she returned to the servant’s quarters she simply collapsed. Her body was so tense from the sheer stress that it had altogether exhausted her. She let Mesalina climb into her bed and warily put an arm around her.
"Lucrezia, I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have-" she tightened her embrace. "Please don’t be angry." She remembered her anger at Mesalina, but now she couldn’t even conjure the will to care. She was physically and emotionally drained. Now she was merely grateful to be held and reassured. She nestled into Mesalina’s arms. "I heard shouting. What happened?" She didn’t answer. She didn’t want to think about it, and was too tired to explain it. All she wanted was to lie there.
Mesalina held Lucrezia until she was sure she felt safe. She looked down at the girl’s face and noticed an angry beet-red welt in the shape of a handprint where Severina had slapped her. "Who did that, Lucrezia? Was it Severina?" She didn’t answer. "I’m sorry, sweet Lucrezia. We don’t have to talk about it." She kissed the welt as lovingly as she could, soothing the irritated skin. She whispered to her and stroked her hair. She heard Lucrezia heave a quiet sigh. Her muscles went soft, and her eyelids began to droop.
Lucrezia had been asleep for several hours and awoke to Mesalina wrapping her arms around her. Mesalina lay still for a while with Lucrezia in her arms, wanting to make her feel secure. Mesalina began to tenderly stroke her body. Her hands were comforting. Lucrezia accepted it.
Her stroking began to grow more passionate "You think I didn’t notice how you squirmed when I washed you? You think I didn’t notice the way you looked at me? You thought you could hide it from me? It nearly drove me to insanity. I couldn’t help it."
As she had done while washing Lucrezia, Mesalina stroked the front of her torso, moving downward gradually. To her satisfaction Lucrezia was responding to her caress. Moving with her hand. When her hands made contact with her young breasts or stroked below her naval she gave a sharp intake of breath but the girls eyes remained dreamily closed. Very gently she grazed Lucrezia’s lips with hers. Lucrezia gave a startled reflexive tremor but Lucrezia’s lips welcomed hers.
With no further pretense Mesalina’s hand firmly cupped Lucrezia and held her between the thighs. She tried to pull away in shock, but discovered that Mesalina had positioned her body against her back so that she was pinned between Mesalina and her hand.
"It’s ok, little one. Just relax. Just let it happen," she whispered soothingly, her breath warm against her ear. Her hand remained pressed against her, steady and firm, while the other hand began to loosen her dress. "Let it happen. I promise I won’t hurt you, sweet Lucrezia. Just let it happen." In sudden confusion, Lucrezia began to struggle. Mesalina pressed harder in order to pin Lucrezia more securely, and held her down with the other arm. She held her and stroked her lovingly until she went still. "Let it happen." She understood that Mesalina wasn’t going harm her but she also wasn’t going to yield. She had to give in. When Mesalina released her she allowed her to peel the dress from her body, remaining submissively motionless. She obediently allowed Mesalina’s hand to return between her legs.
Mesalina lay down and resumed pressing her body against Lucrezia. When she continued her pressure with her hand she heard a whimper. She could tell Lucrezia was frightened. Lucrezia wasn’t asking for any of this, she was only meekly submitting to Mesalina. As guilty as it made her feel she couldn’t help but take a moment to enjoy the feeling of having Lucrezia vulnerable and under her control. She ceased stimulating her exposed slit with her flattened palm and massaged her more directly with her fingertips in firm unyielding circles. She allowed herself a moment to delight in how the naked defenseless little body felt as it pressed ever harder against her in its search for an escape route.
Mesalina ended her brief indulgence then resumed her efforts to make Lucrezia feel secure. "Good girl." she whispered. She withdrew her hand and held the tense little body snugly and stroked Lucrezia. "You’re doing perfect, sweet little Lucrezia. Just relax for me." As Mesalina stroked her hair and her back she gradually sunk into her embrace and eventually she lay quiet and still. "Good girl. I’ll go slowly for you now. You’re doing perfectly. Now I want you to lay still and let it happen. Just keep relaxing. I won’t go too fast. I promise I’ll make you feel good. That’s all I want for you." And Lucrezia didn’t stir. She remained obediently motionless and calm, and Mesalina could feel that it wasn’t a gesture of submission but one of trust. "Good girl."
She held her comfortingly for a little while longer, then began to caress her, slowly working her way downward until she found the flesh between her thighs. She stroked very softly remaining alert and receptive to Lucrezia’s responses. She kneaded and massaged her outer region. Her fingers began to probe and explore her, trying to find her where she was most responsive. Her fingers came to a delicate bulge at the front of her slit, and to Mesalina’s delight it was swollen with arousal. Mesalina began to message her where she was most sensitive, and her body jolted to life.
Lucrezia was confused. What happened? She was caught off guard by the sudden rush of sensation. Mesalina paused to rub her back and eased Lucrezia back down on the bed beside her. Mesalina resumed stroking and kneading her swelling bulge, which to her satisfaction was growing wet.
A warm tingling, and a series of throbs emanated from it. Her voice began to let out brief moans and sudden cries in rhythm with each throb. After several minutes of attentive rubbing and kneading her hips were rocking tumultuously.
"Does that feel good, Lucrezia?" She could only answer in repeated yelps in cadence with each pulsation that shook her.
"Do you like that? Good girl… Good girl… Such a good girl," she whispered
Mesalina delighted in every second of Lucrezia’s elations… All she could do was continue her strokes and gaze at innocent little Lucrezia panting, and moaning, and frantically grinding against her hand. Lucrezia probably still didn’t know what was happening, thought Mesalina. She was just possessed by these sensations and lost herself in them.
Mesalina stimulated Lucrezia’s delicate bud with fervor, but it wasn’t enough. She wanted to venture inside of her but in her passion she would surely break her barrier. Once she inserted one finger she knew she wouldn’t be able to stop herself. Did she have the heart to rob her of her purity? But there was something so intoxicating about this timid lost little youth who surrendered this much trust into her hands. Since she’d arrived she’d remained unquestioningly under her protection. Her trust was entirely innocent. She wanted to take her for herself. If Mesalina did this she would bond Lucrezia to her forever, whether she knew it or not. She could make this helpless runaway hers.
She felt her way to Lucrezia’s partly sealed opening and began to press. Her fingers were met with resistance and she stopped. To her frustration, Mesalina found she didn’t have the heart to proceed. She returned to Lucrezia’s fragile bud, and stimulated it with vigor. Lucrezia’s hips began to buck furiously against Mesalina’s hand. Her moans quickened and she was grinding harder and faster. Lucrezia was right on the verge. Her moans were hoarse and rapid, and she was gasping for air. Before Lucrezia could reach her peak. Mesalina withdrew her hand, and was rewarded by the sight of sweet Lucrezia’s hips lewdly grinding against the air. She continued this routine several more times. She’d work Lucrezia into a squirming frenzy, and then let her down.
Mesalina felt guilty. After dinner she’d promised herself that she wouldn’t tease Lucrezia, but it gave her so much satisfaction she couldn’t resist. She wanted to draw it out as long as possible.
"Mesalina!" Lucrezia finally cried out breathlessly "P-Please!"
"Please what?
"Please!!"
At first Lucrezia fought against her hand but now Mesalina had her begging for it. She relished seeing Lucrezia in such feverish desperation to be touched.
"Please!" The poor girl was so overwhelmed with the sudden turbulence of unknown sensations and desires Mesalina was unsure how much more she could take.
"Mesalina!" She was in such a whirling chaos that Mesalina was compelled to give her release. Mesalina backed off of Lucrezia, producing a cry of exasperation. She instead bent down and put her mouth over her quivering slit.
Lucrezia gave a yelp of astonishment, which quickly became a gratified moan. Mesalina sucked Lucrezia’s bulge against her tongue and maintained the pressure that she begged for. She was dripping wet and swollen. When Mesalina began to move her tongue back in forth it didn’t take long.
Within seconds she gave a loud hoarse cry, and her whole body began to pulsate. When Mesalina licked her half sealed opening it gripped her tongue in rhythmic contractions that overtook Lucrezia’s body. She kept her tongue in place and savored the way the powerful throbs felt in her mouth. Her breath was heaving, and her yelps were frantic and raw. She sat up and watched Lucrezia writhe in cadence with each throb, which Mesalina now felt with her fingers. Slowly the contractions grew slower and gentler and Lucrezia was delivered from her ecstatic trance and into Mesalina’s arms. Her body was limp and her muscles useless. She was so overwhelmed that all she could do was lie there and focus on catching her breath.
"Sweet girl… You did perfectly, my Lucrezia."
"…What- just… happened?" she panted. Her naiveté was charming.
"Sometimes…" said Mesalina, smiling and pondering on how to phrase her answer. "Sometimes that’s what our bodies do when we’re shown love."
"Love?"
"I just know how to make girls feel good."
She drew a blanket over Lucrezia. "Something I learned in Sunday mass."
"…Mass?"

Chapter 6
Lucrezia awoke to several abrupt prods to her back.
"…Mesalina?" she murmured in groggy confusion. She opened her eyes foggily and recoiled to find that Mesalina was nowhere in sight; she was being prodded awake by Severina.
"Get up!" She snapped out of her daze, sat bolt upright, and jumped to her feet. When Severina reached for her she shrank away, fearing a blow to the face but Severina seized her by the arm. "Come with me." She followed and wondered apprehensively what was in store for her.
Severina seemed anxious too. Her eyes darted wildly and she rung her hands fretfully. Lucrezia yelped when Severina’s hand clenched tighter, her jeweled rings cutting into her skin. Severina didn’t respond. To her slight astonishment it seemed that Severina wasn’t just ignoring her, she genuinely wasn’t aware of her. She was somewhere else entirely. Lucrezia briefly forgot her own anxiety and watched with reserved curiosity.
"Why did Lorenzo let you stay!?" she blurted out abruptly, her voice quivering "Did you let him fuck you?"
"…No-!"
"No! You needn’t to tell me!" she cut her off. "I know what you did, but it doesn’t matter! It doesn’t matter… Painters are passionate men! Of course he needs his whores to fuck!"
"…But I didn’t… He never-"
"But you’re just another fuck to him! I’m his wife!" Severina nodded vigorously in agreement with herself, not seeming to hear Lucrezia at all. "Does he give you pearls, gold, silver, and ambergris? Why, I have enough jewels that if I wore them out I’d break every sumptuary law!" Lucrezia didn’t respond, realizing that she was witness to a conversation in which she wasn’t part of. Severina continued to nod in agreement with herself. Lucrezia merely listened with detached curiosity until they arrived in a dusty room where Lorenzo stood.
There were paintbrushes, panels of wood, jars of brightly colored powder, mysterious objects and foreign substances.
Was this where Lorenzo worked? Is this where the altarpiece was made? Lucrezia resisted the urge to tear herself from Severina’s grasp and worship every inch of the room. Lorenzo had hurt her with his aloofness but his art never could. His work could never do her wrong.
"Hold her head." Commanded Lorenzo. Severina’s hands gripped either side of her face, but she continued to twist, hungrily exploring every sight she could lay her eyes on. She was scarcely aware of Severina’s rings digging into her cheeks, until she was startled by a metallic snip right behind her ear. She twisted around and what she saw puzzled her. Lorenzo was holding a pair of shears and a lock of her hair lay at his feet.
This sight stunned her back to the present. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected, but certainly not this… There was another long snip of the shears and more weight fell from her scalp. What was happening? She began to writhe against Severina in bafflement, which earned her more of Severina’s sharp rings cutting into her face. She heard the door open and close.
"It’s all right, Lucrezia," purred a familiar silky voice behind her. Mesalina? Was she here? Lucrezia could hear her but she couldn’t see her.
"Hold still! Do you want to lose an ear?" barked Lorenzo. She held still, but she couldn’t help but whimper. Why would they do this to her? What would people think of a woman with no hair? Mesalina approached and stood in front of her, watching. Her gaze was reassuring, but betrayed no hints. Finally she was released and her hand darted to her scalp to find it nearly naked.
"Lucrezia,"
Her hair was on the floor. She couldn’t quite get used to the sensation. A part of her could still feel the hair on her head like a phantom limb, but her hands found nothing.
"Lucrezia,"
Her head felt shockingly light.
"Lucrezia, Listen to me!" snapped Lorenzo, commanding her attention. "I’ve been looking for a boy to sweep my floors and grind pigments. I can’t take on another apprentice. They’re too much trouble! You make for a pretty sorry house servant, and maybe you’re more suited to this! But alas, I can’t let my apprentices and my patrons see a female working in my studio! What would they think?" To her amazement he produced a button-down shirt and a pair of trousers. Surely they weren’t meant for her… "Your new name is Lucca Gavarazzi. Any questions, Lucca?" Of all the things that could have happened to her, she never expected to become a boy…"Good!"
"But Lorenzo…" stammered Severina gently. "She was probably on the run because she brought dishonor on her house and will bring dishonor to us… Same story with any of these stray girls, really… Probably came straight from the brothel or she’s a little streetwalker… She’s dirty… She doesn’t even have a proper name… I don’t know why I even let her in my house in the first place…" She rubbed his shoulder warily, but with devoted love. He abruptly wrenched his shoulder out of her hand without a second glance.
"It’s like I say about the church! I wouldn’t trust her virtue over that of a badger, but I can’t help it if the little whore has good taste!" Obviously since the previous night, Lorenzo had assumed his familiar bravado of vulgarity.
"But Lorenzo…"
"There will be no shortage of people in my house who know good art when they see it!"
Severina turned away and Lucrezia saw real hurt in her eyes. She surprised herself to find a twinge of pity in her chest. It was short-lived when pain turned to smoldering hatred.
Lorenzo reached for Lucrezia and before she could react her dress fell to her ankles and she stood naked. Lorenzo circled and studied her critically. He reached for her breast and she automatically hugged herself in defense.
"Don’t squirm, little imp!" Lorenzo snapped, feeling her roughly. "She’s skinny enough." He said thoughtfully. "These will have to be bound," he said indicating her chest, and he handed several long strips of fabric to Severina. Severina was going to bind her chest? She recoiled at the thought. Why did it have to be Severina?
A strip was looped around her chest, and was jerked back so forcefully that the wind was knocked out of her. Severina tightened the strip into a knot and wrapped a second loop around her. The strip was tightened so swiftly that she felt a crack in her neck as Severina pulled it back. Couldn’t it have been anyone but Severina? No one else would be this rough. She felt Severina pause and could tell how much satisfaction this gave her. She was bound so tightly that she felt like her ribs were about to crack. Her chest was going to implode. This must be how her corset felt…
"Here, Severina. Let me finish." Lucrezia watched Mesalina take hold of the linen and prayed in earnest that Severina would relinquish it. At last she obliged.
Mesalina’s hands nimbly navigated the tangle of knots left behind by Severina, and her lungs gratefully drew in one fulfilling breath of air. She felt as though a mound of stones had been removed from her chest.
Mesalina’s fingers began to tenderly wipe the sides of her face and when she withdrew them she realized that Severina’s rings had drawn blood. She continued to gently rub away the blood, taking care not to agitate the broken skin, and soothing the inflammation. She looped the linen over Lucrezia’s breasts and her eyes reassured her that she would wrap her with care. She didn’t want anyone but Mesalina touching her anyways. The binding hugged her skin, but without crushing her. Mesalina continued to loop the cloth strip until her chest lay flat. She allowed Mesalina to adjust the linen with a familiarity would make the clergymen squirm. Lorenzo didn’t care and Severina hated her anyways. Mesalina was the first person that’d touched and hadn’t made her feel like a heifer and auction.
Lorenzo strode smugly into the room. Evidently pleased with himself, he clapped his hands together and laughed.
"Well! Lucrezia does look the part doesn’t she? I’d say little Lucca makes a pretty convincing boy! Fit to inherit his father’s horses!"
He turned and addressed her directly. "Why, I’d wager you’re enough of a boy, you could persuade the bishop to fuck you, couldn’t you, little Lucca?"
To that, she couldn’t quite put together a response.
"Just you wait! Maybe he’d inherit his land too! Fancy that!"
Severina snorted. "I’ll sooner be eaten by earthworms than see the day when a man’s property can be claimed by a daughter. I doubt she even has a father, much less one that will even claim her as his." She gazed at him with unyielding tenderness. "Do you really think this makes her better off, Lorenzo?" she asked gently. "She can’t disguise herself forever, and what’s she supposed to do then? Join the guild and paint for the Medici? Take on apprentices of her own? At least I had the mercy to show her where her place is, but it’s time we were rid of her." Lorenzo silenced her with a dismissive wave of his hand and continued to admire his creation.
"Lucca Gavarazzi… Lucca was the name of my father’s dog when I was a boy. Gavarazzi is the surname of the man who killed Lucca with a hayfork for stealing his chickens. My father avenged Lucca by bashing his teeth in! Lucca Gavarazzi... Lucca Gavarazzi… It has a nice ring to it don’t you think, Lucca?" Some things uttered by Lorenzo were so baffling she thought it was best not to try wrapping her mind around them. She decided she wouldn’t question it.
"Yes," she agreed. "Very nice." She half hoped that it was the wine speaking. She wondered if even god knew the mechanisms of Lorenzo’s mind, much less how they clinked together to conceive a masterpiece.
A young man she’d never seen before had accompanied Lorenzo. He stood unassumingly at his side. There was a quiet stillness to his character that had caused her not to notice him at first. She now focused her attention to him and studied him furtively. His smile seemed approachable and honest.
When he and Mesalina looked at each other she could sense a distinct camaraderie. She concluded that she trusted him. His features were mild, and when she studied his eyes they betrayed and unusual melancholy.
"I’ll just tell my apprentices and my visitors that Lucca here is my bastard son!" declared Lorenzo. "What do you think of that?"
She couldn’t tell whom he had directed his question at. She let her eyes drift towards Severina and instantly regretted it. When she saw the loathing in her eyes she swore she could feel her blood chill. Lorenzo’s bastard? Why did Lorenzo say things like that? She couldn’t decide whether Lorenzo was being deliberately cruel of he was genuinely oblivious to his wife’s feelings. Neither would have surprised her.
"Lucrezia-" she Mesalina.
"You mean Lucca." Lorenzo interjected.
"Lucca… This is Sergio. He’s Lorenzo’s most experienced apprentice. He’s in on our secret but he’s trustworthy."
"Sergio is going to show you what your responsibilities are around here and make sure that you know what’s expected of you. He’s my most experienced and my most gifted! Spend enough time around Sergio and he just may make an artist of you, little bastard! Then you just might be good enough for Vitellino ’s cathedral!"
His last remark instantaneously snapped her mind to alertness. Was he referring to her confession that she’d worshipped him since childhood? Was he suggesting that she could be an artist like Lorenzo? She studied him with frightening intensity, searching for the smallest hint, but he betrayed none.
"A woman artist! Just imagine!" She continued her desperate attempt to read him for the slightest clue. Was he dismissing the idea as a joke? Or did he actually want her to imagine it?
"There’s a broom in the corner, little bastard. You know what it’s for, I’m sure!" She retrieved the broom and quickly lost herself in the task, still struggling to absorb all that had happened to her. In the back of her mind she realized that the studio had gone strangely quiet. Lorenzo hadn’t left, and she could sooner get honey from a milk cow than ask Lorenzo to be quiet.
She turned to look and felt her heart leap into her throat. She tried to breathe but merely sputtered.
There stood Mesalina completely naked, gazing directly into her eyes… She’d been watching her the whole time… Those eyes could have knocked her straight to the floor if they desired. She was faultless. What stood before her was a perfection that she couldn’t wrap her head around unless she felt it. If she could just lay her hand on a single inch of her she’d feel as rich as the Medici. Her breasts were beckoning her hands like two tomatoes ripened in the Tuscan sun. Somewhere she heard the broom clatter to the floor, but it didn’t break the trance.
"Lucca! Don’t forget to blink or you’ll go blind!" Lorenzo’s voice pounded the inside of her skull and jolted her to awareness. He shook his head in mock scorn. "Ruttish little dog, you! You’re becoming more of a boy by the minute! She is a sight though isn’t she?" She reached rapidly for the broom and felt wetness in her trousers. Her face hot with humiliation, she began an awkward pretense of sweeping the floor as though nothing had happened.
She risked another glance and saw that Lorenzo and Sergio had easels. Mesalina was naked because they were drawing her nude. This must be where Mesalina disappeared to after dinner every night. Presumptuous even for Lorenzo, she thought. Not even he could capture Mesalina. No one could dream of having her.
"No shame in looking, Lucca. A feast for the eyes, no? I got her from the brothel!"
The brothel? Had she heard him right?
"When I saw this one, I knew she was a triumph of nature! A true work of art! Don’t let Severina tell you she’s just the cook! This is why she’s here." She began to feel uneasy with the idea of Mesalina bestowing something so intimate to a man as vulgar as Lorenzo.
Mesalina’s gaze never faltered. She continued to look into Lucrezia’s eyes, her smile as wide as the Tuscan horizon.