unfinished fish story

by phanpy-anon

This story is unfinished, and a lot of this would probably be reworked if I came back to it. I'll include some of the comments I left for myself in bold since a kind anon in the thread was interested

I lived my life by two rules. Keep them talking, and don't get caught. It was a tough world for people like me. Around every corner someone was waiting to take advantage of you. The only way to survive was to outsmart them.

One of my captors tapped on my prison. "Ey, you still alive in there? Haven't gone belly up on us, right? Our pleasant carriage ride is almost over."

Much to my chagrin, I was caught. Diplomacy was my only option. Mustering up my winning smile, I looked at the Lombre through the glass. "Don't worry, I'm still kicking." I turned to look at the Machop sitting behind me. "I was just wondering how such smart and upstanding gentlemen like yourselves got stuck doing escort duty."

Add more about getting into cart ride
Make Machop only one, have Carp convince him to help him and promise some reward
They meet up w/ Lombre later before going to boss
Give more description of Machop/Lombre so they're more distinct since at the minimum Machop will reappear

Lombre rolled his eyes. "The boss might be taken in by your shtick, but I know your type. What ya should be thinkin' about is how you're gonna pay her back. At the end of the day, Poke speaks louder than words, and I believe you're very short on Poke." Machop nodded in agreement.

My eyes darted between the two, planning my next angle of attack. "Fellas, I'm sure we can come to some kind of agreement. I know-"

Lombre interpreted me. "Can it. Maybe if ya could think before ya spoke ya wouldn't be dealin' with us."

The rest of the trip passed in uncomfortable silence. I racked my brain trying to think of ways to explain myself. Medical emergency? No, she wasn't the sympathetic type. Natural disaster? Maybe. Blame it on a rival gang? I would need my escorts to back me up on that. Blame it on the Explorer's guild? That had potential. Some new regulation? Spent it all on bribes? It would be the most likely explanation if I had actually tried to do anything I got her to invest in.

With my excuse prepared, I waited for the carriage to come to a halt. Machop lifted my prison and carried me outside. Lombre followed close behind, as if I posed any real threat of escaping. It was still midday and the streets of Maten were crowded. Pokemon thronged around the open air markets. The buildings here were small and squat, at most two stories. A statue of Groudon stood in the middle of a fountain in a vain attempt to ward off earthquakes. INSERT ENVIRONMENT DESCRIPTION My captors slipped through the crowd towards the outskirts of the city.

They wound through the meandering back streets and alleyways. A few Pokemon recognized the duo and kept a wide berth. A few recognized me and walked away with a self-satisfied smirk. Hopefully this would be my last time in this God forsaken city.

Eventually we arrived at a nondescript restaurant at the edge of town. Lombre unlocked the back door and Machop shuffled inside. "The boss is waiting in her office. Luckily for you, we're right on time." said Lombre. He knocked on the managers' door and called out. "It's Lombre! We brought the Magikarp!"

…

A voice behind the door barked "Enter!" and so we entered. The office was spacious. A fluffy red rug laid on the floor. Bookshelves lined the walls. There was a scratching post in the back. I was trying to find a litter box when the Purugly sitting at the desk cleared her throat. Machop set my bowl down in the middle of the desk and took a seat.

“So.” She purred. "How has business been?"

I tried my best to fake a smile. “Yes. About that. There’s been problems with the local Explorer’s guild. They’ve been charging an arm and a leg for the proper permits. Apparently the place was a wildlife preserve and…”

Purugly slammed a paw onto her desk. “I didn’t bring you here for excuses.” She thrust a paw in front of my bowl. “I’ve invested thousands of Poke, Magikarp! I expect results.”

I opened my mouth to respond but she cut me off again. “A little progress check is in order. I believe you wanted to start a coral farm down at Lake Medra, yes? I’m sure there’s been plenty of work done. Despite what meddling you’ve faced from the guild.” She smirked.

Lombre spoke up. “Boss, I tried to tell you, there’s no such thing as freshwater coral.''

Purugly silenced him with a withering glare before continuing. “As I was saying. Lombre and Machop will escort you and make sure everything is on the up and up. If they aren’t, I’m sure they’ll take you on a long walk off a short pier.” Purugly leaned back in her chair.

It was Machop’s turn to interject. “Boss, he’s a fish. He won’t drown in the lake.” Machop ducked as a stone mug flew over his head.

“You two will check on his coral farm, and if he’s been lying, leave him sleeping with the fishes!” barked Purugly.

There was a moment of silence as what she said sank in.

“Bury him six feet underground.” Purugly got up and strode to the other end of the room. She sat at the scratching post and began slowly dragging her claws down the post. Machop and Lombre took that as their cue to pick up my bowl and flee the room.

Lombre jabbed Machop in the ribs as soon as the door shut behind us. “Why’d you go and backtalk the boss like that?” whispered Lombre. The two began the walk back to the Tauros wagon.

Machop looked confused. “You were the one that interrupted her first!”

“Yes. My mistake. You should have taken the hint when she looked like she was going to kill me!”

“But it wouldn’t have worked! She needed to know that if it came down to it, we could get the job done!”

“Okay wise-guy. When she’s impressed and assigns us overnight guard duty you can do it all by yourself.” That silenced the Machop. Lombre rolled his eyes. “Just keep your mouth shut and carry the stupid fish.” The rest of the trip continued in an uncomfortable silence. When we reached the wagon Lombre walked up to the Tauros. “Two tickets to Lake Medra.” The Tauros nods as Lombre drops Poke into their collection pouch and we board the wagon.

The wagon was already crowded with Pokemon waiting for transport. The only seats available were up front, directly behind the Tauros. I steeled myself for the smell of barnyard animals as Machop and Lombre took their seats. Machop set my bowl between them, as if I could get up and run.

A few minutes later we heard grunts of exertion behind us as the cart slowly lurched to a start. Lombre leaned back. “Finally. We can get this stupid job over with. Months spent trying to catch a Magikarp. What a joke.” Machop gave me a side eye. I wondered if he would really pull through for me. I guessed that I should prepare for the worst.

present day me note: I forgot that this was here, I wanted to circle back and redo the first scene so Magikarp makes a deal with Machop to free him in exchange for vague promises of money. This comes up again later so I wanted to clarify

I looked around the wagon. There was a low murmur of conversation from the passengers and from the Tauros behind me, Many of the Pokemon looked like civilians. Farming Pokemon making their occasional forays into town for business. A few rich looking tourists. I smirked at the thought of some stuck up nobles forced to ride with commoners. Some construction workers that couldn’t afford to live in town themselves.

Figure out if this is correct or not. How does nobility work? How does the government work? Otherwise avoid the issue and change the noun. Could make Riolu a noble Scion runaway

In the back of the wagon I spotted an odd trio. A Breloom, a Machoke, and a Mawile. Mawile made eye contact with me and raised an eyebrow while her team members were both looking out the window. I did my best dead fish impression. Through the wagon windows our surroundings started to blur together, forming some indistinct haze of foliage. The conversation behind us started to get louder. Were they Explorers? All three of them had backpacks, but they seemed relatively empty. Were they just finished with a job? Were they treasure hunters trying to save room for their spoils? It was impossible to see if any of them had a badge at this distance. But if they were Explorers… A poor, kidnapped Magikarp who needed their help! That would work. They definitely looked like they could take my captors in a fight if it came down to it.

On the other hand, they might start to ask me uncomfortable questions like: “What did they want from you?” or “Where did you come from?” or even “Do you have any family we should return you to?” Questions I needed to make up answers for. It wasn’t like there was anything for Lombre to find at Lake Medra. The cart suddenly stopped. The Tauros pulling the wagon had devolved into an argument. They were still attempting to whisper. None of the other passengers seemed to be close enough to hear them.

Lombre and Machop exchanged glances. Lombre leaned over to Machop. “I guess we should see what the commotion is. I’d rather we get on our way. It’s not like we got the good seats here.” Machop picked up my bowl and the two crept out of the wagon. I glanced again at the Mawile. It seemed like her companions had drawn her attention to something outside.

“I told you, we should have gone left at the intersection!”

“And I told you that there never was an intersection! There’s only one road until we hit the river!”

Lombre approached the arguing Tauros. “Hey fellas, the cart stopped. Are we lost?” The Tauros froze. One of them weakly chucked.

“Lost? Of course not! We know these roads like you know the back of your hands!”

The wagon door opened again. The trio I had pegged for an Exploration team walked out. Breloom surveyed the environment before giving the Machoke a self-satisfied nod. “See? Textbook mystery dungeon here.” I turned to look at the forest. It was a maze of twisting dirt paths. The trees seemed to stretch to the heavens, forming an unbroken canopy, and yet the forest was still as bright as it was when we first entered it.

add some internal dialogue explaining mystery dungeons & phantoms

Lombre and Machop seemed nervous. Explorers were some of the few Pokemon that could navigate a mystery dungeon, but they were also some of the few who had no qualms about roughing up their boss’ employees. If I played my cards right, I might be able to escape and even get my captors locked up. Plenty of time to skip town.

Mawile pulled an Explorer’s badge from her bag. The badge was a circular crest, with a tinted glass lens in the center. Two wings sprouted from the sides of the badge. Mawile spoke to the Tauros. “Do not worry. We are an Exploration team. We shall guide you.” She flipped the back plate of the badge down, revealing a compass. “It seems like we are headed in the right direction.” She held the lens up to her eye and scanned the forest. “And no phantoms have appeared yet.”

Breloom spoke up. “We shouldn’t tell the Pokemon in the wage about this.” He looked at me and my captors. “Wouldn’t want anyone to panic, right? My captors weakly nodded.

Machoke flexed his muscles. “Don’t worry, we can take on anything those phantoms throw at us! So just wait in the wagon and we’ll make it out in no time at all!”

The Exploration team took up a position in front of the Tauros and the cart started off again. Lombre whispered to Machop. “Okay. Just play it cool. If they ask, we’re just nervous because we’ve never been in a mystery dungeon before, alright? We’ll just take our seats in the wagon and say nothing.”

Machop nodded in agreement. Lombre started towards the wagon. As soon as Lombre turned around, Machop punched Lombre in the back of the skull. Lombre dropped like a sack of potatoes. Machop gave me a thumbs up as he slung his companion over his shoulder and set my bowl down. “You owe me, Magikarp.”

“Wait, Wait. You’re just gonna leave me here?!” My eyes nervously darted to the wagon and the Exploration team leading it.

“If you tell the Exploration team I’m grabbing you and running into the woods. The boss hates traitors, and in my rush, I might just leave your bowl behind.”

Reword this to be less of a trainwreck

“But how am I supposed to-” Machop laughed.

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out. Consider it my repayment to you for our previous encounters.” Machop ran back towards the wagon, shouting. “Phantoms just came out of the woods! They knocked my friend right out!” The Tauros broke into a run, pulling away my only hope of escape.

…

This was it. The end. Stuck in the middle of a mystery dungeon. Waiting to either starve or be murdered by a passing phantom. I pressed myself against the wall of my bowl before launching myself as fast as possible to the other end.

My skull collided with the glass wall. Water sloshed out of the top of the bowl. By my estimation, I accomplished something between “Jack” and “shit.” An ominous rustling coming from a cluster of bushes.

Make this less clunky and abrupt

I sighed. “Screw it.” I was going out on my own terms. I put my front fins on the rim of the bowl and prepared to hoist myself up. Without any way to grip the glass bowl I managed to get about halfway out of the water before slipping and falling back into the bowl. The rustling started to get closer. I hoped that I didn’t make too loud of a splash and grabbed the rim of the bowl again.

I managed to heave my stomach onto the bowl. I paddled as hard as I could with my rear fin and managed to tumble ass over teakettle onto the ground. I exhaled to try and get this over with before the phantom found me. My gills flaps started to spasm, trying to draw oxygen from the air. I could hear myself making gasping noises. My lungs were burning. This was a terrible idea.

change from gasping to something else for variety, used in better way in subsequent para.

The phantom was getting closer. It was probably close enough to hear me. Through my blurring vision I could see a blue figure emerge from the bushes. It shouted something and ran towards me. I closed my eyes, hoping that I could finally black out. The phantom lifted me up off the ground. It sounded like it was trying to say something to me, but I couldn’t focus on the words.

It dropped me. I landed in the fishbowl, gasping for water. The phantom was still trying to communicate with me. Though if it hadn’t killed me yet then it was probably a real Pokemon. As the adrenaline rush started to fade I could focus on them. I was face to face with a very worried Riolu. He was traveling lightly, with only a small knapsack. When he realized that I was still kicking he sighed in relief.

“Oh, thank goodness. Are you okay?”

I coughed a few times to flush the air out of my system. “Never been better.” I tried to smile.

“How did you get in the middle of a mystery dungeon? And why were you on the ground?”

“Well, the group I was traveling with panicked when they realized we were in the middle of a dungeon and kind of… forgot me.” That sounded believable enough. “I fell out of the bowl when I was trying to get it to move.” I also was not going to tell a child I was trying to kill myself.

unsure if should be ambiguous about character ages or not

“That sounds awful! Are they looking for you?”

“They aren’t Explorers so…” I trailed off. While I would love to avoid Maten, I had stashed supplies and what was left of the money I got from Purugly in a river nearby there. “Do you think you could help a fellow out and bring me to Maten? That’s where we were headed.”

“I don’t think so.” Riolu looked embarrassed. “I’m on my way to Treasure Town and I don’t have enough supplies to take a detour. Especially not now that I’m in this mystery dungeon. Was that always here?”

“First I’ve heard of it.”

“I can take you to Treasure Town if you want.”

“Anywhere’s better than here. Why do you want to go to Treasure Town anyways?”

That got Riolu excited. “I’m off to join Wigglytuff’s Guild!” Oh, I can drop you off there! I’m sure someone there can get you to Maten!”

Wigglytuff’s Guild? I did a quick mental run down of everyone I’ve done “business” with in the area to see if I should be avoiding them. Right. I sold their head of intelligence, a Chatot, a fake treasure map. It claimed there was a hidden cave behind a waterfall. Last I heard two of their new recruits tried to jump through the waterfall and were still bedbound. “Wigglytuff’s Guild? I’m sure a Pokemon of your caliber could do much better.”

“Really?”

“Think about it, you’ve rescued me from a mystery dungeon, you’re practically an Explorer already!” Chatot had a mean streak, and was very protective of the guild’s apprentices. Wigglytuff was probably even more so if rumors were to be believed. If nobody had been injured I would’ve been willing to chance it, act like it was an honest mistake. It was likely that if I showed my face around there now there’d be a price to pay.

Riolu started counting on his fingers. “But I don’t have a badge, training, supplies, teammates, or a way to accept requests. Don’t I need to join a guild for that?”

I made what I hoped was a dismissive gesture with my fins. “All you need is a badge. The rest? Don’t worry about those things, you can pick them up on the job.” If I could get Riolu to take me to Maten, I was sure I could slip away and bribe someone to get me on a cart outta there. “Besides, it’s not like you need to join a guild right away. Get some experience freelancing first, then if you think a guild would be helpful then you can join one.”

“Are you sure? Isn’t it hard to navigate mystery dungeons without a badge?”

“Of course it is, but you don’t gotta be in a guild to get one.” This guy was set on his goal, if nothing else.

“I don’t have the Poke to buy one myself.”

“Well… don’t worry because…uh, you’re talking to a world famous Explorer, right now!” I grinned nervously, hoping Riolu would buy it.

“I’ve never heard of any Magikarp explorers before, what guild are you a part of?”

“It’s not a guild you’d be familiar with. I’m a famous underwater explorer, you see! I’m not surprised a landlubber like you hasn’t heard of the great Magikarp!” That did the trick.

“Woah! But, what are you doing out in the middle of the woods?”

find some way to express amazement without doing some dumb drawn out "woooooooooooow"
prob just some out of dialogue description or smth

“There’s been rumors going around the ocean guilds that there’s a great inland ocean hidden somewhere underground around here. At the bottom of the ocean there’s said to be a great treasure, blessed by Kyogre himself! Of course, that sounded like the perfect job for me, so here I am!”

“So you have an Explorer’s badge, right?”

“The thing about that… all of my supplies were with the rest of my party, and they don’t know how to use a badge so uh…” I laughed awkwardly. “It’s a bit of a predicament!”

“You weren’t traveling with other Explorers?”

“Well, the actual mystery dungeon is supposed to be underwater so I thought I could save some money by hiring regular Pokemon. But, if you take me to Maten I’ll tutor you in the ins and outs of mystery dungeon exploration myself!”

Riolu gasped. “Really?”

“Really. You’ll get first hand experience and instruction from a famous explorer! You’ll be so good that the guilds will be falling over each other for your application! Whaddaya say?”

“Oh, of course, I’ll help you!”

“Perfect. Well, let’s get going then. I haven’t seen any phantoms here yet but don’t let your guard down.” Riolu nodded enthusiastically. He picked up my bowl and started off into the forest. “Now, let’s get started. What is the number one rule of mystery dungeons?” Hopefully pretending to be a wise tutor by quizzing Riolu would get him to believe me long enough to carry me to my destination. Then I could skedaddle before he realized I knew less than he did about Exploration teams.

“Never enter a mystery dungeon without an Explorer’s badge!”

“Uh, right! What are the other rules about mystery dungeons?”

“Mystery dungeons always change their shape! That’s why you can’t rely on what you see in them, but you need to use tools like this!” Riolu reached into his knapsack and pulled out a small compass. He turned northwards, back towards Maten. “Distances in mystery dungeons are also compressed, so you can save a lot of time by going through one. Valuable treasures like orbs and scopes are also only found in mystery dungeons.”

“Correct. But what other dangers will you face in a mystery dungeon?”

“Phantoms. Pokemon-like creatures that attack anyone that enters a mystery dungeon.” The forest was quiet save for the whispering of the wind through the trees. I had no idea how common phantoms were in mystery dungeons. There was no way Riolu could fight and carry me at the same time so for my sake, I hoped they were rare.

“Luckily we haven’t encountered any so far.”

“Right.”

I scanned the forest around us for any signs of motion. Everywhere I looked I saw verdant bushes and trees with dirt paths snaking their way through the underbrush. Ahead of us a moss covered log blocked the path. Riolu balanced my bowl on the log as he clambered over.

"Was this dungeon always here? It wasn't on any maps before?" asked Riolu.

"I'm not familiar with this area" Another lie. "But I haven't heard anything about a dungeon here either." That was true. I'd made this trip several times before and the Taurous wagon traveled this route daily. "I guess that means we're the first to explore this dungeon. This might be the first time the appearance of a new dungeon was ever recorded."

"How does a new dungeon appear? My Mom always told me that mystery dungeons formed after Arceus created the world."

"Yes, and the remnants of His one thousand arms fell to Earth, each one forming a mystery dungeon. You can't believe every legend you hear. Part of being an Explorer is developing an intuition on what's real and what's just an old fable."

make this less hamfisted

Riolu continued on in silence. I continued to keep an eye out for phantoms. The dirt path ahead of us abruptly stopped at the foot of a hill. Riolu checked his compass and began climbing. The leaves on the trees ahead of us were tinted red, like it was autumn. make sure to establish that it is not, in fact, autumn, before this line A sudden gust of orange-red wind carrying the scent of rust engulfed us. decide if nearing time gear should cause area to become "associated" with the celestial body the gear controls or not Riolu stopped to cough. Dust settled on the surface of my bowl. I tried not to agitate the water as the dust lazily drifted to the bottom of the bowl.

“Do you see anything?” I whispered to Riolu. He shook his head. The forest was eerily quiet. I began to wonder if phantoms were even real. Was it an elaborate hoax by the Explorer’s Guild, a way to keep a monopoly on dungeon treasures?

I counted to myself. When I reached two minutes I looked at Riolu. “I think we’re in the clear.” I told him. He nodded and began walking. The hill kept getting steeper, but Riolu didn’t appear to have a problem with it. The air was still tinged with the red dust. Even the grass had taken on the same autumn colors as the rest of the foliage. Another gust of wind buffeted us and a plume of red dust clouded the water in my bowl.

I grimaced at the now very sandy water in my bowl. I was vaguely aware of Riolu continuing to stagger up the hill. When the wind subsided Riolu muttered “Give me a second.” He set down my bowl. As he rubbed the sand out of his eyes I did my best to scoop out whatever was settling at the bottom of my bowl. I heard Riolu gasp. “W-W-We’re…” He stammered.

“We’re what? Are we being attacked?!” We had entered a small clearing. I scanned the forest ahead of us, shielding my eyes from the sun. Nothing seemed amiss. I turned around. My stomach did an uncomfortable somersault. It appears we had walked for a while.

Far, far behind us- beneath us was the forest we had come from. The trees looked like little green pinpricks Pick more weighty word carpeting the landscape. I looked at Riolu, who was staring in bewilderment at the ground below us. "Say, about when would you say you entered the dungeon?"

Riolu answered without looking at me "A little before noon, why?"

"By my estimation we're several thousand feet in the air and about ninety degrees off course." I pointed at the midday sun directly ahead of us.

Riolu looked between me, the sun, and the forest around us. He searched the clearing around us and came back with a baseball sized rock. "One way to test that out." He cocked his arm back and threw a pitch only a Pokemon could. Describe better

The rock flew straight up, in our perspective, until it passed the canopy. As it began to slow in preparation for it's descent another force overtook it. We watched the rock veer off at an angle, towards our right, back towards what must have been the real ground. There was a moment of silence before I spoke up.

"So. What does the compass say?"

We were still pointed due sic? north. I was expecting Riolu to ask me about the newfound verticality of the dungeon but I guess he knew that I wouldn't have an answer. He rummaged around in his backpack and pulled out a small handkerchief. He dipped the cloth into my bowl.

Riolu sniffed it experimentally, then made a face and muttered something about the smell of fish. He sighed and tied the cloth around his face in anticipation of more gusts of sand. As he prepared to set out again he looked at me inquisitively, as if he wanted to ask if which way to go.

"Only way through is forward." I remarked. Riolu still looked unsure, but picked me up and continued to follow the compass. When we had left the clearing and the forest canopy hid the ground from view Riolu visibly relaxed. I did too, now that there was something to catch us if gravity decided to reassert itself.

The wind continued to pick up as navigated the dungeon. At one point Riolu stopped to drape a cloth over the top of my bowl to keep the sand out. "I think the path is twisting." He remarked.

"The path? We've got a compass, who cares what kind of paths the trees make?"

"No, I mean… It's easier to feel it." He set my bowl down. As soon as he set me on the ground the world titled to the left. "It's been like that since we left the clearing." When he picked me up there world remained stuck at an angle, like an unevenly hung painting.

Once Riolu pointed it out, it was impossible to not notice. Every step he took rotated us a little more. If Riolu had trouble balancing he didn't say anything, and nothing about his gait made me want to jynx things by bringing it up. Within minutes the world was upside down, and slowly winding its way towards a complete rotation.

When my vision righted itself it felt like there was an audible click. I wondered if I was hearing things when Riolu's ears perked up. "Do you hear that?" He asked me. "It sounds like a clock." As we pressed on the ticking continued to grow louder. Soon it was accompanied by a low whirring sound. “What is that?”

At the base of an old and withered tree there was some kind of silvery metal cylinder. Riolu set me down and grabbed the device on either end. He pulled, grunting at the exertion. Riolu’s grip slipped and he fell backwards, landing next to me. “It’s heavier than it looks,” said Riolu.

I looked closer at the device. The cylinder was about the same size as my bowl. There were seams at each end of the cylinder holding that held the flat ends on. In the middle of the cylinder there was a latch holding a rectangular hatch in place at about eye level. consider device description

I reached out and fumbled at the latch with my fin. Riolu noticed my inept attempts to open the hatch and easily flipped open the latch. I snorted in indignation. “I could’ve opened it myself-” There was a sudden, blinding blue light. “Gah!” I covered my eyes with my fins and waited for the spots in my eyes to fade.

When I could see again I saw Riolu was already prodding at the inner workings of the machine with a large tree branch. Its innards were an incoherent mess of cogwheels, pistons, and belts. In the center was a blue, glowing gear. One of the flat faces of the gear was facing us. There were notches along the edge of the gear like the face of a clock. It wasn’t connected to any shaft, but there were two gears on opposite sides of it that were seemingly held in place by an outer ring. As the center gear rotated the two outer gears marched along the outer right like planets following an orbit. Riolu looked at me inquisitively. “What do you think it does?”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epicyclic_gearing, make sure to reread for coherency later, two outer gears for two moons of mars

“I can’t even tell how it’s powered.”

“Well, the glowing blue thing is probably important. Let’s see what it does.” Riolu slid the branch through the hole in an attempt to unseat the shining gear. Since it was only held in place by the two orbiting gears the gear slid out easily when RIolu applied force. The gear popped out and bounced off the edge of my bowl with a clink. Before the gear could land in the grass the inner workings of the machine stopped. The forest fell silent.

There was a sudden sensation of weightlessness as the water around me began to float away. Small raindrops escaped before being followed by baseball then grapefruit sized spheres of water. I felt the water lifting me out of the bowl. Something was pulling me into the air. Bubbles were escaping the water yet the water was freezing.

I glanced at Riolu, who was struggling with his backpack. Its contents were growing heavier, bulging out of the bottom of the pack. One of the straps ripped as Riolu removed the pack and dropped it to the ground. It landed with the thud of a large boulder. My vision was tinted red. I felt light headed. Riolu dropped to his knees. I looked up and saw the ground accelerating towards us. Mercifully, unconsciousness took me. change (this was highlighting the last two sentences)

…

“Are you sure you won’t drop me?” My fins gripped the rim of the bowl. If they could turn white like Riolu’s knuckles they would be as white as snow.

tonal shift seems weird to me, may want to rework

“Don’t worry, I have pretty good balance.” I could almost feel every syllable Riolu said as he balanced my bowl on his head. We had woken up in the forest after the traumatic experience of taking the gear out of that machine. The mystery dungeon had vanished, leaving us stranded in the wilderness. “Whups.”

Riolu slipped on a rock. He quickly righted himself, but my heart was still in my throat. Water splashed out of my bowl onto Riolu. He made a face. “Serves you right.”

“It’s not my fault, my arms are sore from carrying you through that dungeon! Have you considered being less heavy?” Riolu fiddled with the remaining strap on his backpack. He had decided to stick the metal device in with the gear, and it jutted out of his pack. After the machine had stopped, it had lost several hundred pounds. Riolu wanted to see if we could find someone in Maten that could identify it. It was pretty, so at the very least it was a novelty that I could pawn off on some sap.

The trip back to Maten was uneventful. Between the compass and my vague recollections of the area we made steady progress. Eventually we came across the river that abutted the city. I told Riolu to stop. “Just dump me into the river. I’ll get my stuff and come back.” Hopefully nobody stumbled across my stash. It was hard to bury something with just fins.

I swam upstream, looking for the collection of rocks I stuck in the riverbed as a mark. I breathed a sigh of relief when I found them mostly undisturbed. Under one of the rocks was hidden one of the drawstrings of a cloth bag. I wrapped the exposed drawstring around a fin and tugged at it. A cloud of sand swirled through the water as the bag came loose. I swam away from the now murky water and worked the bag open with my fins.

Inside there were some gummis, a quick seed, a sleep seed, and two blast seeds along with a few thousand Poke I had gotten as an investment from Purugly. I would have preferred more seeds but it was hard to find someone selling them coated in wax. Gummis seemed to last forever without any intervention. Seeds rotted underwater without a protective coating. Everything was accounted for.

When I returned, Riolu gestured at my bag. “Is that it?”

“Not like I can carry that much.”

“Oh. Right. I guess that’s why you needed to hire a wagon. Are we going to meet up with them soon?”

I nodded. “Of course.” That did bring up the uncomfortable question of what to do about Riolu after pawning off that gear, along with the machine it came in. If I relied on traveling through rivers it would be easy for Purugly’s gang to track me down again. I would need land transportation for the foreseeable future. As long as he thought I was really an Explorer he’d take me wherever I wanted. I resolved to try and keep the lie going as long as I could.

clunky (this was referring to the transition between paragraphs

While I internally debated what to do, Riolu had been walking back to Maten. The low murmur of Pokemon going about their afternoon business could already be heard. I had never had an interest in Academia so I had no clue where to look. The two of us wandered through the city. I also kept an eye out for any of Purugly’s gang. Hopefully Lombre won't be back to report my disappearance until tomorrow.

I spotted an antiques shop out of the corner of my eye. “Why not try there?” I gestured to the store.

“Where?” Riolu tried to survey the street while keeping my bowl balanced on his head.

“To your left.”

“Why a store? Shouldn’t we try somewhere more academic?”

“No, that’s a classic beginner mistake. Think about it. A store owner like this lives and dies by his knowledge of items, by his knowledge of what’s authentic and what’s not. Stuffy academics live the easy life. All they have to do is convince their peers they know what they’re talking about. None of them have any practical knowledge of the subject!” After finishing my rant I wondered if I overdid it.

“I … well… I guess that makes sense.” Riolu made his way to the antiques shop. A bell announced our entrance as he pushed open the door. The store was small, cramped, and lined floor to ceiling with shelves stuffed with junk. I scanned through the menagerie of items. One wall was dedicated to scraps of cloth of varying colors and patterns from checkered to chevron. Another wall held a menagerie of rocks, sticks, and for some reason, fossils. At the back of the store a Grumpig sat reading at the counter. Behind him was a collection of glass orbs. He sat up attentively when he heard us enter the store.

Riolu approached the counter. I cleared my throat. “Hello, we’d like you to appraise something for us.”

Grumpig sighed. “Yes, I can. Just don’t be surprised when it isn’t worth as much as you thought it was. What is it?”

Riolu reached into his bag and placed the blue gear and its machine on the counter. Grumpig gingerly picked up the gear and turned it over in his hands, inspecting both sides before speaking again. “Did you make this?”
“No, we found it in a mystery dungeon.” clarified Riolu.

“Well, it’s a very impressive recreation of a time gear. I’m sure whoever made it is very talented. I only deal in exploration supplies, so you’ll have to find someone else if you want a buyer.”

“What’s a time gear?” I asked. Grumpig and Riolu both stopped and stared at me, as if I had asked them what color the sky was. “Because you know, underwater, we don’t have time gears.” I weakly chuckled. They seemed satisfied with that explanation.

“How familiar are you with astronomy?” asked Grumpig.

“Not at all. Have you ever tried to operate a telescope without hands?”

“Right, well. The sun, the moon, the stars, and every celestial body orbits the earth. This motion is overseen by Diagla, the ruler of time, since this motion is what causes time to pass. Every object in the night sky is controlled by one of these.” Grumpig displayed both sides of the time gear to us. One face had the twelve markings of a clock that I had seen in the dungeon and the other had a small, red planet etched into its surface. “This one would control the motion of Mars. The real gear is a part of the Celestial Clock in Temporal Tower. There’s no way you would happen across it in a mystery dungeon.”

Grumpig put the gear down and began inspecting the cylinder. “I can’t make heads or tails of this. I’m not a mechanist.”

“Do you know anyone who is?” I asked.

Grumpig leaned back in his chair. “You won’t find many in this city. Nobody really needs a machine when a Pokemon can do it cheaper and more reliably. There’s a settlement of Mewtwo worshippers near Mt. Horn.”

From what I had gathered from my time on land, Pokemon worshiped a pantheon of Legendary Pokemon. Each one was associated with a domain. What passed for a domain seemed arbitrary to me. Zapdos was the Legendary of lightning, while Raikou was the Legendary of thunder. The difference was crucial to the worshippers of the two Legendaries. I’ve watched multiple fights break out over it. I had never encountered a Mewtwo worshiper myself.

“What’s Mewtwo stand for?”

“Invention. They say he once was an ordinary Pokemon. He created many technological marvels. One day he invented life itself, creating Pokemon and allowing himself to become a Legendary Pokemon.”

not sure if pantheon exposition should be here or not

While Grumpig and I were talking, Riolu had been perusing the store. He came back to the counter with a wooden board and a collection of stones. “I didn’t know you could still find these!” He said excitedly. It looked like random junk to me.

Grumpig smiled. “You have a good eye. Old exploration equipment is hard to come by nowadays. Everyone who wants to explore joins the guild and gets a badge.”

present-day Phanpy anon: This is where I dropped the story. It got way too ambitious. I wanted to do something loosely based on the plot of the Explorers game, but my mind wanted to tie the gang Magikarp owed money to into the story as recurring antagonists, and then I wanted to try and tie in the main characters from Explorers that Magikarp put into the hospital for several weeks. The story would probably be better served by splitting it into two, one about a conman Magikarp and one about the time gear stuff.

In rereading I noticed most of my notes were a little underwhelming and mostly just reminders to clean up parts of the story. I like to do this as a way to get out of the endless cycle of rewriting the same sentence in a hundred different ways. As a way of apology if your heart was broken by the abrupt end I'll jot down some of the setting notes I made. I put down this story to try and focus on a short story about a PMD tax collector in the same setting as this story that made it to around 400 words before expiring, so finishing a short story for /pmdg/ was a milestone for me. But enough blogposting.

Legendary Pokemon
Legendary Pokemon serve as a Pantheon of gods for mortal Pokemon, and were what I was using as the main separating factor between nations. At some point I decided to switch from calling them Legendaries to Gods for convenience. Each one would have a specific domain that mortal Pokemon identified them with. A large part of the Gods' powers came from what Pokemon believed about them, so they were very territorial about their domain. I tried assigning domains to all of the Legendary and Mythical Pokemon, but I tapped out when I got to Gen 5 and realized that Legendaries were way too redundant.

The assignments I was particularly fond of was the legendary bird (Snow/Lightning/Flame) and the legendary beast (Ice/Thunder/Fire) trios and the lake guardians (Willpower and Ego/Emotion and Id/Knowledge and Super-ego). The birds and beasts would be rivals, and the lake guardians would act like their respective part of the human pschye. Mespirit (Id) would be impulsive and focused mainly on base instincts, Uxie (super-ego) would be cold and calculating, and Azelf (Ego) would try and mediate between the two.

The other important God was Mewtwo, who was a mortal who became a God after inventing the artificial Pokemon. His cult was the smallest and youngest, so he was the weakest God. Pokemon also aren't prone to invention, since Pokemon labor could even outclass modern machines in some aspects when you consider they're powered entirely by berries.

Humans
After many devastating battles on Earth, the Legendaries agreed to stay out of the mortal world and conduct their business through summoned humans. There wasn't a contract that holds them to these rules, so if no Gods see rule breaking, it didn't happen. The patron God that summoned a human could give them a special power that related to their domain.

The one I had for Dialga's champion was the ability to temporarily alter the speed of the flow of time in a small area or for a few Pokemon. After the effect wore off, there'd be a 'rebound' where the opposite alteration would occur. I pictured this like stretching a rubber band, it snaps back into place after you stretch it.

Gods have to split off some of their power to give their human as long as they stay as a Pokemon, so Gods only did it when they needed to. Magikarp was actually going to be a human summoned by Mewtwo to find out who was encroaching on his turf by building the time-gear containing devices. Mewtwo was too weak to pick a stronger Pokemon or give any cool powers, but would cope with something along the lines of: "I gave you everything you needed. You proved that all Pokemon need are themselves, and not the powers of the Gods."

Time Gears
Most of my notes were already exposited in the story. The time gear devices were also strongly magnetic, so Riolu's compass pointed towards it (I'll discuss exploration tools next) instead of leading them out of the dungeon. With the theft of the time gears, all of the planets and other objects in the sky would slow until they halted. Darkrai was going to be the one who stole the gears in the first place but I couldn't come up with a motivation beyond "I want more power," which irritated me. His scheme was to get more worshippers by creating artifical mystery dungeons that generated all of the valuable items (like orbs, Joy seeds, etc.) they contained, without any phantoms. The 'walking straight upwards' level of spatial distortion would also be exclusive to the fake dungeons.

Exploration Tools
Exploration badges shield their bearer from the distorting effects of mystery dungeons, allowing them to pass through much more easily. There is a compass inside that can be folded open like a pocket watch. The top glass lens is a monocular. I was on the fence about how badges came to be, but I was leaning towards saying the Regis made them. Outside of ordinary tools, I wanted to try and incorporate other items from the games as tools. A water stone could be attached to a dowsing rod to find water. A sunstone would orient itself towards the sun when light was shone on it, allowing for low-tech timekeeping devices.