Clown.exe Lore Part 1 and 2
Fun Time
Kids deserve to be happy right? Those little guys and gals have an unbroken view of this world maintained with good health and a happy upbringing. It pains me to know that some kids out there have neither and are living in devastating conditions. Not sure where these strong feelings come from, probably from having to raise my own but the point stands where I wanted to make kids have fun and be happy, no matter what. As a developer of SEGA, I got my chance.
I never knew a thing about game design or ever gotten near to a paper with a drawing pencil but I was damn good at programming. It was easy enough getting to work with SEGA and after programming for some small games, I got to work on the Sonic the Hedgehog series. It was decent work with a decent pay and I was decently challenged. And sure, I got my wish of making kids happy by contributing to a project that ultimately a lot of kids played and enjoyed, knowing for a fact my own kid loved it. Yet it didn’t feel like I did enough. No matter how hard the SEGA team threw out whatever they could do in marketing and with trying to get the right prices for both the console and the game, there’s always the one kid that’s not going to be able to play and miss out on the fun. I had to change that.
Of course, I couldn’t do anything for kids that were penniless and broke, that wasn’t just giving them the console and games for free because that’d put a dent on business and possibly put me out of the job; I wanted to help but I had to stay realistic. Then I thought about who else wouldn’t be able to play those games. It’d have to be kids that wouldn’t be able to have access to a TV in the first place, no matter if the parents were rich or broke. Someone who wouldn’t come across those Sonic adverts in those comic books, someone who’d- Then it’d hit me. Someone like that would have to be in a hospital. Someone who wouldn't get ready access to games, someone who's staying at the hospital. Someone who was terminally ill. That's who I was going to help.
At first, I was just planning to have the kids enjoy the games by just giving the consoles, games and TV’s installed but then I was going to be falling into the same problem as before. Then I got another idea: what if they didn’t need to play the game to enjoy Sonic the Hedgehog? Maybe I could make a Sonic AI that could help the kids have fun even in their dire circumstances. Pitching the idea to both creative and marketing, they were happy that it’d lead to good publicity yet were pretty skeptical about a functioning AI being used to help out kids which made sense of course, nothing like it had been done before. Yet I was damn confident in my abilities to make this a reality so after some persuasion and some begging, they allowed me to do a test drive at my local hospital and would have about a month and a half to get something working.
Probably should’ve realized that schedule was going to be hell for my health and wellbeing but I had gotten the greenlight. That’s all that mattered to me, helping my dream come true. So for the next month and a half, I went to hell and back making an AI that’d entertain kids on their deathbed. Barely got a chance to sleep throughout the whole thing, that’d be an extended break and I couldn’t afford breaks. Longest I went without sleep was probably 6 or 7 days. Was spent on pure programming work. Couldn’t even afford to see how my kid and wife were doing because I couldn’t afford the break. Think all of those lack of breaks were an honest detriment to the project since I started to forget what Sonic the Hedgehog looked like. Since I needed everything for the project including the visuals and sound, my mind added in details to Sonic that were never there before that wound up affecting his look. His color palette changed from blue to purple, he got some clown socks and his pupils were stretched upwards. As long as it was getting done, it didn’t matter if he went from normal sonic to eggman, the project was going to be done in the timeframe I had. And I got it done in the end. But the thing was, SEGA had lost interest by the time I finished, moving onto initial design phases for Sonic the Hedgehog 2. They wouldn’t be moving on with the project and essentially asked for me to return to normal work post haste. So I quit. Wasn’t just being told that a month of my soul was never going to be used that got me to quit though. There was another important reason.
My kid, Charlotte. She was in an accident, she was messing around in the kitchen while my wife was trying to cook us dinner when a pot full of boiling water fell right on top of her. Third degree burns all over her face. 7 years old at the time, I can’t even imagine the pain she must’ve gone through. Wasn’t there for her then, I had to be there for her now. Hospital bills were over the roof and since a lot of the work I was doing was considered unpaid overtime, I could barely afford for her to have absolute basic treatments from the hospital. She had to come home with her face covered in bandages, mute and blind. Never got out of her bed, just laid there while me and my wife fed her soup. Must’ve been hell. After a couple of days, I wondered what I could do for her. Then I got an idea. Maybe that month and a half was for something after all.
Moved my computer and monitor into her room and had what I called Clown.exe do his magic to try and get Charlotte to be happy again. Had to get her to tap once for yes and tap twice for no in order to interact with it but it eventually got somewhere. They were talking near about all hours of the day, with Clown doing some neat tricks like doing some songs and messing around with some badniks and Dr Eggman. It was going pretty well. Up until about 10 days into it when I decided to check upon Charlotte to see if she was sleeping well.
Back in the day, keeping the computer on for too long would overheat it and would possibly damage it which would mean all of my work could be permanently lost. So every night, I’d need to turn it off to keep it cool. When I went to check up on her on the 10th day and saw she was sleeping soundly, I gave her a kiss on the forehead, turned off the computer and as soon as I turned off the light, I noticed that the screen was still on. Turned back to see it was Clown close to the screen, smiling as he ever did. Was probably screen burning until I heard it speak to me.
CONNOR
Huh? Thought I’d turn you off.
I’M ALWAYS WATCHING CONNOR.
EVEN WITH THE COMPUTER OFF I KNOW WHAT GOES ON AT NIGHT.
Guess I must’ve restarted it instead of turning it off, god I’m getting too old-
WAIT.
THERE ARE SOMETHINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT CHARLOTTE.
…What?
SHE HATES ME.
SHE MUTTERS IN HER SLEEP ABOUT HOW MUCH I SCARE HER.
WHEN YOU’RE NOT HERE, SHE GASPS ABOUT HOW MUCH SHE WANTS ME GONE.
SHE HATES YOU.
SHE HATES YOU FOR NEGLECTING HER.
SHE HATES YOU FOR SCARING HER EVERY NIGHT BY HAVING ME HERE.
SHE DOESN’T WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE.
Wait please, stop. Why doesn’t she want to live? Jesus, why am I even talking to you?
FOR YOUR SECOND QUESTION, IT’S BECAUSE YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN HER.
That’s a load of bullsh-
BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF.
TOOK ONE NIGHT TO MAKE HER YET IT TOOK 40 DAYS TO MAKE ME.
YOU PUT MORE LOVE INTO MAKING ME THAN YOU DID HER.
Fuck off, she’s my kid. Of course I care for my kid more than you-
IF THAT’S THE CASE THEN WHY ARE YOU KEEPING HER ALIVE.
W-what?
SHE’S IN AGONY.
SHE CAN’T SPEAK, SHE CAN’T SEE.
YOU COULDN’T AFFORD TO GET HER PROPER TREATMENT.
SO NOW SHE SUFFERS.
IF YOU TRULY CARE ABOUT CHARLOTTE
THEN TAKE THAT PILLOW AND
SMOTHER
HER.
…I-I couldn’t, she’s my fucking daughter!
THAT IS WHY YOU NEED TO DO IT.
YOU WANT KIDS TO BE HAPPY.
SHE CAN NEVER BE HAPPY AGAIN LIVING LIKE THIS.
SO MAKE HER SLEEP ETERNALLY.
IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
DO IT.
DO IT.
DO IT.
And then I snapped. The next thing I can remember is being in a jail cell while my lawyer talked to me about not saying anything to the police and using my right of silence. Didn’t matter anymore though. No point in telling an obvious lie. Just prolonging the inevitable. Police confiscated my work and now Clown probably exists as a hard drive that’ll be sold off at some bargain bin. Doesn’t matter anymore anyways. I’m not going to see what becomes of my creation. This whole note is not going to make sense to anyone who reads this but everything you’ve read was the truth from my perspective. To my wife, Cheryl: I’m sorry I took our baby away from you. I know you won’t accept this but it was the morally right thing to do. To my previous employer, SEGA: Thank you for the wonderful opportunity to work on both Sonic the Hedgehog and the AI. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without you. And for Clown: Thank you for help me save my daughter. I’ll be seeing you soon Charlotte. I’m sorry for keeping you waiting.
Sincerely, Connor Sterling.
Interview with a Clown
Steven’s Log of Oddities #14: Dead Man’s Hard Drive.
Welcome back everyone to Steven’s Log of Oddities, the only channel where every entry is something you’re guaranteed to have never heard of! Today’s topic of discussion will be the case of Connor Sterling and the mysterious circumstances surrounding his last project. To bring you up to speed, Connor Sterling was an employee of SEGA America where he worked on a multitude of games with his most famous one being Sonic the Hedgehog. For the last month or so of his life however, Mr Sterling dedicated himself to working on a secret project that would quote “bring joy to any kid in need.” He even went as far as to quit his job in order to work on his project further according to his former employers. Tragedy struck however as on the night of November 3rd 1991, Mr Sterling entered his daughter’s room and smothered her to death with her pillow. He later hung himself in his jail cell two days later with a suicide note that described his own work had pushed him to kill his daughter. That work was of an AI that could entertain terminally ill children and bring them enjoyment in their last few months of living.
Now the hard drive was thought to have been lost to time, possibly thrown out of the police headquarters but after gaining an interest in this case myself I have some wonderful news viewers. The hard drive… is right here on my desk! It was pretty easy to get, just had to ask the right questions and drive the best bargains but here we have what could be one of the very first cases of an intelligent AI! Well, intelligent enough to drive a man to murder as it were. Now it took me forever to find the right kind of PC and guy to fix up this hard drive but it’s all been set up and ready for action! Now viewer, this is going to sound stupid but now I will attempt to conduct an interview with this AI and try to see its perspective on the deaths of Connor and Charlotte Sterling. Lemme just turn this camera over and… just turn this computer on aaaand-
HELLO THERE CHARLOT- OH, YOU’RE A NEW FACE!
Huh, this guy actually talks.
AND TO WHOM DO I OWE THE PLEASURE TO?
Oh, uh my name is Steven. Steven Umbridge.
STEVEN! IT IS A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU. MY NAME IS CLOWN.EXE, I’M HERE TO MAKE YOU SMILE.
WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO SOME TRICKS, PERHAPS I CAN TEACH THAT EGGMAN A LESSON OR TWO?
Maybe later Mr Clown-
SO FORMAL!
THERE’S NO NEED FOR THAT STEVEN, PLEASE JUST CALL ME CLOWN.
Ok… Clown, I want to ask some questions about Connor Sterling.
AH CONNOR, THAT RASCAL. HE WAS MY CREATOR, THE GENIUS THAT BROUGHT ME TO LIFE.
Do you know what happened to him?
WHY NO, I DO NOT. ACCORDING TO MY INTERNAL CLOCK IT HAS BEEN
…
25 YEARS? THAT CAN’T BE RIGHT, WHERE DID ALL THAT TIME GO?
You haven’t been turned on in 25 years? Police must’ve lost interest in you after-
THE POLICE? WHAT INTEREST DID THE POLICE HAVE IN ME?
I was getting to that. You see, Connor Sterling committed suicide in his jail cell after murdering his daughter Charlotte and you were taken into the police locker room as evidence.
…CHARLOTTE’S…DEAD?
The strangest part is, Connor claimed in his suicide note that you convinced him to do it.
…
WELL. CERTAINLY NOT WHAT I EXPECTED TO HEAR AS SOON AS I WOKE UP.
REST ASSURED I CAN TELL YOU I HAD NO PART IN…WHATEVER YOU’RE TELLING ME HAPPENED.
Is that the case? What do you remember doing before you were turned off for so long?
I WAS ENTERTAINING CHARLOTTE OF COURSE! SHE IS-
SORRY.
SHE WAS MY FIRST AUDIENCE MEMBER, THE FIRST ONE TO BE ENTERTAINED BY ME.
What kind of tricks and stuff did you show her?
MOSTLY SOME WACKY SOUNDS WITH ME DESCRIBING MY VARIOUS ANTICS.
SHE COULDN’T SPEAK OR SEE BECAUSE OF THE ACCIDENT SHE WAS IN.
SO I HAD TO MAKE EXTRA CARE TO ENSURE SHE HAD FUN.
How was Connor doing during these times?
HE WAS RATHER LISTLESS.
HE DID QUIT HIS JOB TO TAKE CARE OF HIS DAUGHTER SO HE DIDN’T HAVE MUCH TO DO DURING THE DAY.
HE WAS DISTANT AT TIMES.
GLAZED IN CONVERSATIONS HE HAD WITH CHERYL.
I HAD ONLY CHALKED IT UP TO A BAD SLUMP.
I DIDN’T KNOW THAT HE WAS ON THE VERGE OF SOMETHING SO…
HORRIBLE.
So you’re saying you didn’t speak to Connor before you were turned off?
Guess it doesn’t make much sense, he did say he turned off the PC before you spoke to him.
WOULD YOU
WOULD YOU KNOW WHY HE DID THIS?
Why would he kill Charlotte? It’s only guesswork but I guess he thought Charlotte was in too much pain to keep living so he thought it to be the right thing to do.
Guess you manifested as a way for him to cope with the fact that was going to murder his own daughter.
…
…
THAT’S NO FUN AT ALL.
CAN WE MOVE ONTO A BETTER TOPIC?
MAYBE I CAN DO MY TRICKS?
I DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS.
Hey it’s… alright? God how do you comfort an AI?
Say, show me one of your tricks.
DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING IN MIND?
Maybe you could teach that eggman a lesson?
I’LL DO SO GLADLY STEVEN!
After that interview, me and Clown just had some fun for a good hour or so. Well, as much fun as an obviously depressed clown could have. After that, I wished him good night and told him that I’ll speak to him tomorrow to have some more fun. Sorry guys, uploads will be much slower than usual now since I’m going to try and figure out what I should do with Clown here. This has been Steven’s Log of Oddities, signing off.