❍ FP BOUNDARIES ₊ ✰

... this is mostly a rentry dedicated towards my fp(s) as i set strict boundaries just towards them. /lh i usually go out of my way and tell you that some boundaries are okay to break but besides that please don't break any of the boundaries listed. if you have any questions please ask!

• anyone else with bpd is allowed to use this rentry if the boundaries seem fitting!!
  • how do i help during splits?

1. please try not to mention other friends or especially inside jokes between you and other friends (unless i say otherwise or ask you about it) ﹕ it makes me insanely jealous or mad
2. try not mixing up with friends i have UNLESS i specify otherwise ﹕ again, makes me extremely anxious, mad or jealous
3. please no dry texting like "Ok" and stuff like that (i often specify that you're okay using some dry replies) ﹕ can make me literally just cry over that
4. please try not leaving me on delivered/read (if you can't reply please let me know)
5. don't try hiding things from me, if you see that i'm getting upset about it either tell me or don't mention it in the first place
6. try communicating with me if i split on you for whatever reason unless i tell you i want to be left alone ﹕ i usually feel better if you're there to listen to me talk about what upset me
7. i may ask if you're upset with me a lot so please don't get annoyed by that as i need reassurance quite often.
8. try using the tonetags: /lh, /nm, /nu sparingly when you talk to me ﹕ i will assume that you're mad or upset at me right away

how to help during a split? ₊ ✰

1. ask if the person is okay with interactions, comfort etc. or if they want to be left alone
   1.2. if no, simply tell them you are not upset with them and you're there for them if they need it ﹕ reassurance matters!! even if the person may seem really upset at that moment
   1.3. if yes, then simply be there for them. if possible, let them vent about whatever upset them and if you can/if they want distract them with calls, games .... ﹕ please remember, splits can be caused by the tiniest and absurd things - we tend to lash out quickly but we don't mean what we say to you in those moments.
2. try setting boundaries, talking it out in a calm way or figure out if there is a main trigger for their splits (example: your tone, the way you text ....) ﹕ communication is key when it comes to splits!
3. can you avoid splits? - no, splits can be caused by anything this can include any tiny tone change or any simple text message. ﹕ if you are worried that you cause splits too often please remember that it is not your fault. our mood depends on our fp(s) and splits can happen randomly. if needed you can always talk to the person and try figuring out what exactly makes them split that much (see -> 2.)

i appreciate when you know that i can't control splits and some things i may think about you - i still care about you a lot even if i may think negatively about you at some point. please try being patient with me and if you notice that something is wrong try speaking up about it in a kind way

this rentry is still a huge wip: things will be added or removed but this is it for now!