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hey guys here's a lot of stuff

twilight : 12am to 7am
day-time : 7am to 12pm
afternoon : 12pm to 7pm
night-time : 7pm to 12am
school : 7am to 4pm, 5 periods + lunch
recollection: make-up for a day

Monday, 2 feb 26 : School

period three
hii. i am excited to go home and listen to tma with innon. and also to hand in my phys work. mm i have basically no homework which is just so fantastic. life is so beautiful when you have no homework.

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Wednesday, 28 jan 26 : Night-time

ehhh. ehhh. first day of school. woop! i lost all of my physics notes so i'm umm idk #HARDCOREFUCKED #VERYVERYVERYSCREWED #IDONTREMEMBERANYTHING #HELP!!!HELP #HELP but its okay. idk! otherwise todya was beautiful. i am feeling very mid. this is wonderful. i am always talking about how not mid i am! probably because of the NeverMid disorder but who knows! so this si a good thing this is a nice thing. lets go. the magnus archivesis very good.

Tuesday, 20 jan 26 : School

at home
this is the first time i've ever written before i'm actually At school, and after 7pm. well. its 7:40, and i just finished takin gnotes for my exam today. i think i'll do fine. i'm excited to sleep later. so excited.

Monday, 19 jan 26 : School

period 2 exam
first half done LMFAOAOOAOAOAOOOFOPascj ikj. I AM failing THIS I CAN'T!!! DO THIS!! OHH ITS SO OVER IF I JUST HAD MY HANDS ON THAT FUCKING REVIEW PACKET. BUT NOOOOO.

i was kind of not goinbg to go to the mall becauseeee. after not sleeping..like...i'm fucked....so i should go home and nap ASAP. ALSO! ITS! SNOWY AS SHIT! ITS SO SNOWY! I DON'T WANT TO WALK IN THE FUCKING SNOW IN MY PJS!!!!! JUST FOR SOME REDBULL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but i do. the truth is i do. and i'm going to. because i need it.

this is so stupid. i have no idea what the written part is going to be like. and i have SO MUCH TIME. if i just had the review packet. if i just knew ANYBODY ELSE IN THIS CLASS sorry Olivia ThAT ACTUALLY WENT TO CLASS, I MEAN. GODDD.

yurp who up not caring. ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i miss hudson williams ohhh my god i can't even go on twitter anymore because it's entirely hudson and its just like iii. ii can't do it. i can't do it. GET OUT!!! GET OUT GET OUT.

Monday, 19 jan 26 : Twilight

it's 6 AM. i have no fucking idea what my exam today is like, because i was sick the entire prep week. we BALL. i have spent the entire last two days avoiding thinking about what i have to do. which is a mistake obviously, and stupid, and it's why i'm going to fail all of my classes. here's a list of stuff i have to do.

finish presentation for pecha kucha (today ASAP), pass exam today, write essay (at least one) by tomorrow, prep for exam tomorrow (copy down questions, i actually should be fine regarding the exam segment of this class), hand in presentation for fourth, write essay for fourth. so basically just two essays and a presentation. that's not e AHHH i was supposed to do . gosh ok and one small thing i have to do before 8 AM today.

BUT! i showered last night so i am fresh and dandy and i can sleep in. #CALWIN.

hopefully, i'll be going to the mall with Grayson after class. i need to spend money. i am very broke, but i need to buy food because my mom won't buy food an di'm sad and sad and sad and i want food. MY RADIO IS DOING THE THING FUCKK i wanted to talk about this.

my umm. alarm clock. has a radio built in. it's really nice i love it. though i often have it muted so my alarm goes off. being muted however, does not mean i cannot, uh, you know, Not Hear it. i totally can. just quietly. very quietly. if the room is silent for long enough, you can hear it. i tell you this because i assume the beeping is related to this somehow. um, about every 3 or 4 hours, my radio beeps very loudly. not like an alarm beep, more like a static beep? beeps of many variation, in quick succession. like (dim) beepbeepbepbeepbeeepbeep bep beep beeep and then it shuts up. and its awesome i love it a lot.

Wednesday, 14 jan 26 : Afternoon

If I like. Pass all my classes. Jesus christ. Thatd be awesome. I don't forsee it Honestly.

Friday, 9 jan 26 : School

period two
BLEHHGGHSHH!!!!

Friday, 9 jan 26 : Twilight

i wonder what it was this time. like, that got me here. um...i have an inkling it is at least in part due to—(i almost said "somehwat in part due to", but that one fucking roxyjane conversation radicalized me on this sort of error)—all of the money i have (had...) at the moment!

it just umm. it really does buy happiness. looking at all the homestuck shit i have is genuinely so unthinkable. i think a big factor of why merch and homestuck means something to me in Particular, is because of the nature of the fandom. i used to have this whole thing with art and things being done the right way. i still do, in other, non fandom aspects of my life. if i don't think i am going to do a good job, i don't do anything. this feels much better than doing a bad job.

but i went into the homestuck fandom with the idea that all of the cosplays are the shittiest things ever. i knew this because, i had googled karkat vantas cosplay (shortly after i met karkat), and realized that they were...just awesome because of the effort and love put into them, rather than how it really looks. so it's been different. i've been perfectly fine printing out pictures to put everywhere and making my own shitty horns with friends. buying printable vinyl for sweaters, even. it's just so embarrassing as an outsider, that it doesnt need to be ironic. i do not mind telling people i loevee homestuck because, well, typically, they Like me a bit before that, and i lure them in with hilarious bits and whatnot bfeore revealing it is alllll homestuck. and they give ti a chance! and thats the way it was meant to be. it is just pretty freeing. it is such a personal thing for me and sooo many others. how beautiful is that?

very! very beautiful. so, in spite of all of that, having my official merch is even cooler. it means...no more to me than the shit i made, honestly. right now, to my lfet, is an official crocodile consort plush that cost far too much. and to my right is a jakedirk mug i made for 20 dollars, as a gift from a friend of mine. and both are just so awesome. and acfoss my room my jake comm and print out of eridan are staring at me. lik ewhat a fucking life man. and of course the mini dirk Mags made me is on my bedside with RD & AJ (& FS). all so so so beautiful! but i'd be just fine without all of it, i think. it just really changed me and is changign me. normally..changing doesnt ttake this long. and yet it feels like there's so much to do. i haven't even reread the entire thing yet. i havent even played hiveswap. i havent even considered the logistics of johnrezi. i havent even read. vast. error. like BRAH! there is so much. and at the same time i am Having Not done any of this, the community is so active! what a beautiful!!! fucking way to be!!!!

well anyways. my point was just sort of... oh wait i wasn't even talking about homestuck. ok fuck my life hang on

well Anyways. i feel pretty great right now. that's odd. its 3:45 AM and i am starting and finishing a seminar i am to present tomorrow. i've been losing it over this and various other assignments for the past month (as in, two thirds of dec and one third of jan). and yet. bird noises...listening to the same 10 songs consisting of various bird noises is sort of! saving me. they are so pleasant. i forget they aren't..like..real very easily. which is awesome, because there was a time that i couldn't really fathom that bird noises WERE real. hearing them outside of my window was very um...unreal.

so maybe the birds cured me? i didn't know they could do that!

Thursday 8 jan 26 : School

period one
at tims. whoops!

i'm not super into skipping at the moment ( i don't want my mother to sedate and kill me, and i could easily fail these classes ) but this is going well so far. it is 9:13 and i have 30 minutes. Mags stayed home and that was a sign. normally it would take weeks to do the bare minimum, or, anything, but thi sis. this is okay. this is fine. and strider be mine is playing. which reminded me of kindness and joy.

period two
beacuse it's almost the end of the semester, i'm interested in trying to have a proper routine. this is likee umm...i don't know. it's a big deal. i have never had a routine. a proper one of any sorts. it takes a lot for me to like, remember to...brush my teeth and grab a water bottle every day. not that i casually Don't brush my teeth. its just ADHD i think; i can't wake up early. i wake up at the absolute latest i can even when i desperately don't want to. it's really annoying. so i wanna try fixing it.

i guess some people wake up way before school starts. which makes sense...and probably gives you a lot more control over how you feel during the day.. i assume school would feel more like school and less like your entire life and being if you wake up before it, LOL. i have 0 spare time in the morning to do anything but get ready, so my mood is prettay unstable during the day. and if i don't do things the night before, there is literally no other time to do them, and i have to wait for the next school day to end. this is a very um...inefficient method.

so this is what i am planning. in the morning, i would like to be able to eat breakfast (first thing), shower, and tidy my room. that isn't umm. a lot i guess. but as its been made clear, for Me it is. i used to wake up like 4 hours early to play fortnite. its gotta be possible.

Wednesday 7 jan 26 : School

period two
ok 600p book in two nights umm ummm kako emote kako thinking emote thing she does. idk man.

Tuesday, 6 jan 26 : School

period five
yuppp its over. i came down here to sit with Mags but she isnt even HEREEE. whatever. not that important. i didnt wanna sit with her n-e-ways.

in more interesting news, i just decided today, finally, (as in, i've been thinking of it for a while, but as of today, i know for sure), i don't really care...if rentrycord sees my face! like, whooo..idk. who cares. my personal information is sooo. not important, lowk. this is a big deal because i used to care a whole whole whole lot about this sort of thing. but honestly, i don't think it matters. if someone was triyng, they could easily find my school. my full name may be a bit more niche, but i mean, what is anyone going to do with any of this. i guess maybe...find my shitty yearbook photos? its true, i'm pretty ugly in those, but thats that. i am hiding nothing and i have no history. so its chill. especially considering no one is trying to do any of that because no one really cares!

[Pre-2026]

2025