Hai my name is Irene & this is my silly little archive yap thingie as of 08.14.24 (*´ ᴗ｀)
𝟶𝟾 . 𝟷𝟺 . 𝟸𝟺 ,, i have a rly bad headache rn & i hate it so much hsnahend.
i went to bed at like 12am last night for the first time in years but i still woke up at 10am bro..
me btw
⤶
𝟶𝟾 . 𝟷𝟽 . 𝟸𝟺 ,, today we watched the movie bubble & it was rly good, we as in me sikx & max (*´ω｀)
i also had a lot of fun today idk why but i did!! i think im starting to feel a bit better with myslef im trying my best to do productive things & stuff like trying new things etc
im happy abt today it was rly good
𝟶𝟾 . 𝟸𝟶 . 𝟸𝟺 ,, haiaia its the morning rn & im rly happy today (*´ω｀) im eepy but i feel super motivated & good today so YAYAYA!!
ugh im having that weird boredom feeling again where i just sit here staring at my homepage on my phone (ToT) idk what to do. maybe i will watch youtube & draw or something.
𝟶𝟾 . 𝟸𝟷 . 𝟸𝟺 ,, im so eepy its 12am but anyways
today was SUPER good althought it was very crowded (◞‸ ◟) i had so much fun playing roblox with sikx & fyrene & now im so tired.
although some shit did happen today i still am happy with the outcome of it all because i had good day (*´ω｀)
𝟶𝟷 . 𝟶𝟽 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, yall i just woke up from a nap & istg i had a mini heart attack
i forgot when i went to nap & assumed it was like at 11pm so when i woke up & saw 11 i thought it was the morning but then i was like wait its too dark to be 11am so i looked at the day & completely thought i had went back in time like some sort of matrix type shit i was so scared & confused & then i looked at my bgfs messages for me to see that i actually went to nap at 7pm (ToT)
𝟶𝟺 . 𝟷𝟹 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, Bro the weirdest shit keeps happening to me (ToT) I saw a video of this girl on Tiktok & was like "OMG she looks like another Tiktoker I know" ，RIGHT ？I THEN SCROLL TO THE NEXT VIDEO & ITS THE EXACT PERSON I WAS JUST THINKING THE GIRL ABOVE LOOKED LIKE ON LIVE ？？？HELLO ？
NOT ONLY THAT ，the other day I downloaded this app I saw an ad for on Tiktok right ，I never actually ended up going on the app after it downloaded because I completely forgot (ToT) So I decided to go on it just now & left Tiktok without looking at the video I was last on ，okay ？Right after I went back to Tiktok & realized ，the video I was on before I went to the other app WAS THE SAME FUCKING AD FOR THE APP THAT I DOWNLOADED & WAS JUST USING．WTF (ToT)
𝟶𝟺 . 𝟸𝟹 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, hey gang its 5am & ive been up all night (ToT) i have been having issues sleeping for like the past 5 or so days dawg im so tired．LET ME SLEEP PLEASEES </3
i see the sun coming up its so silly
okay its 6am now & i just had a chocolate muffin & i took my meds so i guess im up for the day ( ˆ ᗜ ˆ )
it is currently 8am & im so friggin tired ( ´ ᴖ ｀ ) i swear ive tried to lay down & sleep about 3 times now & i literally cant for the life of me．IDK WHATS WRONF IM SO UPSET & TIREDD
maybe i have like insomnia or somethjng idk man i just wanna sleep but my brain has too much to think abt ．．．
its okay atleast i have this baby．his name is leaf & he is my son ，do not be rude to him or else i will skin u．
he is matching with my friend fyrene who has the same one except his name is clover & they r siblings (*´ω｀)
𝟶𝟺 . 𝟸𝟺 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, hey gang i just woke up & its 12pm & i went to bed at like 2am or 3am i cant remember (*´ω｀) anyways i was playing cookie run & i got 4 epics in one pull HELLO ？i didnt even know tbat was possible (ToT)
𝟶𝟺 . 𝟸𝟽 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, hi guys i lowkey forgot abt this whoopsie ^_^
im so tired rn i could fall asleep ，but i dont wanna cuz i just know imma sleep till like 9pm (ToT)
chat i am staying strong & not falling asleep ！its 6pm i just need to make it to 9pm ghats all 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 i think we all understand the image at the very top now ．．．
𝟶𝟺 . 𝟸𝟾 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, HELLO ITS 2pm & i woke up idk i cant remember when bcs i dont think i was fronting (ToT)
ANYWAYS ，im lowkey upset rn bcs someone inspoed the same person that i had inspoed for my main rentry & made it the same character i did & stuff (◞‸ ◟) THERES NOTHING WRONF WITH THAT AT ALL im just rly upset bcs it looks so much better than mine ．．．(ToT) they know how to edit stuff much better so im a tad bit jealous ^_^ BUT ITS WHATEVER theyre cool anyways plus theyre allowed to do what they want ，duh
my head hurts so friggin bad ( ´ ᴖ ｀ ) maybe its bcs i havent eaten since i woke up but uhm yk ^_^ im getting ibuprofen & making mozzarella sticks (*´ω｀)
𝟶𝟺 . 𝟸𝟿 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, hey chat today i made my first ever rentry commission & IM SO SO HAPPY WITH IT & SO IS THE OTHER PRRSON ！！！i will be getting 800-1000 robux for it (*´ω｀)
anyways BE PROUD OF ME CUZ I HAVENT TAKEN A NAP AT THE END OF THE DAY IN 3 DAYS SO I CAN SLEEP NORMALLY NOWW UAYYAY
𝟶𝟻 . 𝟶𝟸 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, today is gonna be a yap abt random shit (*´ω｀)
one time in 8th grade we had a special ed student in our art class & she was so silly i loved her (ToT) but one day we were chatting & stuff & this girl comes up to my ex friend & KISSES HIM JUST OUT OF NO WHERE (ToT) he felt so violated & i tormented him by reminding him of it throughout our entire friendship (ToT) ITS SO FUNNY I CANT IDK WHY SHE DID THAT
MY CAT PISSED ON THE FUCKING STOVE BRO ( ´ ᴖ ｀ ) my mama is trying to cook & it stinks so bad so we found out its bcs mocha peed on the stove ugh．WHY FORS SHE DO YHID IM GONNA SOB (ToT) shes laying with me now i am telling her not to do that again
𝟶𝟻 . 𝟶𝟼 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, hi im eating pizza o think i got a crumb in my eyeball pls hrkp m
𝟶𝟻 . 𝟶𝟽 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, hai guys ！sikx got me a ton of dahlia related urls & im supa happy abt it (*´ ᴗ｀) they got his cons & stuff so im rly happy．
i was supposed to go get a tattoo today but i ended up staying home bcs im sick ( ´ ᴖ ｀ ) i will be getting it next week instead ！wish me luck guys im nervvouss ．．．
𝟶𝟻 . 𝟶𝟾 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, hey gang tmrw i am going to visit my family in illinois so we going on plane & stiff im so tired
anyways my mama is making me pizaa so yayaya
my tummy hurts & im really tired i want to sleep honk shoo ugh. im so sad bcs someone took /sweetness & i tried to reclaim it ( ´ ᴖ ｀ ) i wanted that url im sad.
𝟶𝟻 . 𝟶𝟿 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, okay so actually i dont think we are gonna be able to go to illinois．my mama cant find her birth certificate which means shes not able to get on the plane ，but she is trying to get some sort of paperwork for her to be able to get on so i hope she can get it & if not ，then iguess we arent going ( ´ ᴖ ｀ )
anyways ，heres something that i honestly find quite hilarious．last year when me & my sister went to Illinois ，we stayed at my aunt & uncles house．while we were there ，my uncle came home from work & saw that i had eaten 2 icecreams ，OKAY ？mind u these cones were so small & they were very yummy．he ended up yelling at me & telling me i was going to get diabetes bcs i eat too much sweet shit．I got upset & defended myself which caused him to yell more & it was just a huge mess．tell me why the other day my mom then tells me that he got diabetes (ToT) KARMA HITS LIKE A TRUCK ，HUH ？
alright so me & my sister have decided to stay home from the trip．my mama had to get a temporary id bcs she cant find her birth certificate ，however ，online it says that airports don't take temporary id's ，but the person at the DMV said they should let her use it so ，FINGERS CROSSED ！if they don't let her in then we will have to go some other time．
𝟶𝟻 . 𝟷𝟷 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, alright so my mama was able to get on the plane & shes there now．me & my sister have been here & its very fun ( ´ω｀) we got to talk to my moms friend who came over yesterday ，we literally talked the day away bro (ToT)
anyways ，my mom gave me this perfume ，it's vanilla scented & it smells so so yummy．everybody keeps telling me i smell good now so i have been wearing it like everyday (ToT)
OMG ALSO LOOK WHO I FRIGGIN GOT YESTERDAY HEHAHAHWHEHE
MY HUSBAND I LICK HIM ALL OVER 
𝟶𝟻 . 𝟷𝟺 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, hello guys its 2 am & im so tored but i cant sleep ugh ( ´ ᴖ ｀ ) im listening to music ，i just made a new playlist so like im listenign to it rn ( ´ω｀) i might fall asleep to it ，even tho its NOT a sleep playlist LFMAO idc im so tired．
𝟶𝟻 . 𝟷𝟿 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, HEY GANG ！SORRY I HAVENT UPDATED THIS IN A BIT ，I JUST HAVENT KNOWN WHAT TO WRITE ABT (ToT) anyways ，im so sleepy rn．i might take a nap even tho its 6pm ，idc im tired．
haiii my mama is coming home from illinois today! I am SUPA EXCITED to see her, i miss her so much. anyways, i think im gonna take a nap.
𝟶𝟻 . 𝟸𝟺 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, today was literally the worst fucking day ever ( ´ ᴖ ｀ ) first we completely dissociated for like 3 hours & i had no idea who was even in control atp like i was so confused when i came back help ？ & THEN TSIREYA GETS HYR RENTRY INSPOED WITHOUT CREDIT OR NOTHING & SHYS ALL PISSED ABT IT & IT MADE ME SO MAD TOO． & then i had my food & took a shower after an hour & end up passing out & throwing up． & i stayed up till 1am too bcs i couldnt sleep．auahhhhggg
𝟶𝟻 . 𝟸𝟻 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, haai today i have my dads funeral / life thing i gorgot what its called im so sleepy its 7am (ToT) i dont feel well my stomach still hurts & i feel like im gonna blegh again ( ´ ᴖ ｀ ) anyways ill update this later i think
𝟶𝟻 . 𝟹𝟷 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, sono così stufa che mi copino. vorrei davvero rimuoverli da tutto e bloccarli completamente, ma sono così paranoica che sento il bisogno di guardare costantemente le loro pagine. dio, odio tutto questo.
𝟶𝟼 . 𝟸𝟹 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, hai guys ！its 9am i woke up at 4am & im still awake help．my stomach hurts super bad ( ´ ᴖ ｀ ) im kinda hungry so maybe thats why but im not sure．
YESTERDAY I GOT CIPHER ON HSR BTW which is crazy bcs i like JUST GOT hyacine not too long before (ToT) im so so happy tho YAYAYA ！i also got dahlia & stuff so im rly happy with everything．
i made a new rentry which im rly proud of ！its /turbotwirly so ofc i made it kachina themed (*´ω｀) VERY PROUD OF IT AGAIN EHSHHE ！
𝟶𝟼 . 𝟸𝟾 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, i love & hate taking characters experiences & relating them to my own．it makes me so sad but sometimes its okay ，rn its not 😕
𝟶𝟼 . 𝟸𝟿 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, helloo! its 8am rn & i had greek yogurt for breakfast. ive been editing a ton of stuff like rentry & sp but ive also been watching sinjin drowning the whole morning so like (ToT) im currently making fugo & trish on ponytown & im kinda struggling on their hair bcs why tf does it have to be so damn complicated brah ;-;
yesterday me & sikx played tlou2 & god bro that shit is making me crash tf out (◞‸ ◟) joel did NOT deserve to die that way OR AT ALL FOR THAT MATTER UGH. i feel so bad for ellie & seeing her afterward THE WAY SHE FUCKING SMELLED HIS JACKET SDNDNGCBDJ AAUGH.
i had been relating ellies experience with joels death to my fathers & its been making me rly sad. the way she didnt even get to speak to him before he left, the way he didnt die until she came in, her dreams abt seeing his face & only remembering what he looked like when he was bleeding on the floor. all of it reminds me of my dads death & it makes me so sad. ( ´ ᴖ ｀ )
i love joel & ellie so much theyre so father daughter ugh. hes literally a girl dad i love him so much, he didnt deserve to die at all. i hate that stupid abby bitch i hope we find her and kill her soon dawg. & ISTG IF THAT BITCH HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THAT DAVID GUY FROM THE 1ST GAME IM GONNA BE LIVID BRO. anyways, sorry for the yap.
𝟶𝟽 . 𝟶𝟼 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, haihaiagaia its 3pm & im so sleepy but me & sikx r finally starting amphoreus or however u spell it ！im rly excited to do it i love mydei & hyacine so much so im yayayaYyyaya．
also my husband reference (polnareff)
anyways ，im a bit hungry so im probably gonna get some food soon & i also have to pack for moving ！im moving back to where i used to live due to things that have happened & changes & whatnot．im very happy but also very neevous bcs i havent even packed a single thing yet SO HAHRGEE uGh im gonna be so sleepy ．．．
ho anche fatto crescere le mie unghie di recente ，quindi ora sono super lunghe ！penso che potrebbero essere più lunghe di quanto non le abbia mai avute prima．
okay ill either talk more later or write something another day ，BYE ！
𝟶𝟽 . 𝟷𝟺 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, hi im nit frunk but um high so helloooo im so sha th in i cant tell if im still high or tired
ik so in
hey g
I'm so tired I'm d high
I'm burping and it burns
naramis
the chips r hot spicy rno tmore
ora
xdramking coca cola and ths tastes so good oh mgof
how did boothill turn in to Steve from minecraft
vv
guys I'm no high
mgbystghdf h my god
Garrick phone
me and my bgf are b-laying garlic phone like
the eyebrow is smoking
auru fivel
dlla s bny glass beach
I feel ie I'm on a rolar coster big I oven eer been on a roller coaster once thp so I don't know how wait no like 3 times I think I c an rebeter and them its f
super bass my booka bomma bood obom ayeee
my fog barkin
I see u r tru color
my byo friend say eee a a and o
no not 21 polys
no bud 21 h
sikx 1h
do you have to be 21
the garden of banana ban ban
Gus uv cant stop laughing please hel I'm actually
I'm crying I see stats starts start asart satrs stars
sikx 1h
i wante papage
holy shat guys
I cant type when glike
o
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guys the world is spinning
𝟶𝟾 . 𝟶𝟹 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, last night I was yelled at by both my aunt and uncle for not taking a shower in 7 days. like okay yea my dad died 4 months ago and I've been depressed and in an episode, not to mention we just moved out here after about 5 days of driving and I'm still exhausted. sorry that ur kids are perfect little angels with no mental issues but I am much different from them.
I yelled back at them both and stood up for myself. I tried to explain to them that this wasn't Abt a shower and that I was heavily overwhelmed and in a bad state of mind with no motivation, but all I got was "I'm not listening" and "blah blah blah". I was so overhwlemed and I cant stop thinking Abt it all.
all they care abt is fcking hygiene, they don't care abt my well-being. y aunt literally said shes gonna call the cops on me and have them take me to an assylum which pissed my mom off and it made me think abt how I'm so glad she isn't my mother LMFAO
𝟶𝟿 . 𝟷𝟸 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, I hate this feeling．I hate feeling forced ，it just makes me feel like I don't want to do it even more．I wish my family would understand or even try to at all．I miss when we lived in our own place．I miss when everything was okay & nothing was wrong．
I miss my dad ，everything has changed without him being here & I hate it so so so much．I hate thinking about it I hate being alone with my own thoughts I just start thinking about the things I never got to say to him & how I barely hung out with him before he died．I feel so guilty for it all & I wish I would've done more with him ，I hate myself．I hate how distant me & him became．Why didn't I try more ？I dont know ，I feel so stupid．
I wish I was young again ，I miss when he would cuddle me when I was sad or whenever I wanted to ，when he would show me little things he found & thought were interesting ，I miss when he was there to make everything better just by making small jokes or stupid comments ，when he would come home from work at 2AM & bring me a snack from the gas station．I hate seeing kids out with their dads it makes me wish I had that again．I miss all his silly little faces he would make ，I miss when we would go out to random places like restaurants & stuff all together ，I miss taking funny pictures with him ，I miss the time he had tried to take me to a shop but struggled to find it so we ended up driving around for hours ，I miss when he would take me to my bus stop & pick me up from school ，I miss those car conversations we had where we would giggle over things on the radio．I miss everything we did together．
I wish he wasn't taken from us so soon．he didn't deserve to die so early．It's been months & i'm still slightly in denial over it．I think of him & I just can't imagine this world without him ，I just don't want to believe it & my brain won't let me．Everytime I see pictures of him I want to cry so much．It's so hard to explain this feeling．I miss the way everything was．
𝟶𝟿 . 𝟷𝟾 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, trigger warning for this one! mentions of self-harm.
I hate myself so much oh my god．I relapsed last night & passed out from all the blood．There goes my 1 year of being clean down the fucking drain．I'm scared to tell anyone but i'm also scared of someone finding out．I feel so guilty & disgusting ，I hate how I feel when having to hide this．Why am I so stupid．All I can think about is how disappointed my dad would be right now．I can't stop thinking about how he could've been watching me do it．I don't want to disappoint him I feel so horrible．I know my mom would sob if she found out I did it again．What is wrong with me why did I do this．What happens if my aunt finds out ，she would probably try to send me to an asylum or something．I'm so fucking stupid．
𝟶𝟿 . 𝟸𝟼 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, I miss my dad so much ，I need him so bad．I want it to be 2015 again．I just want everything back．I want my life back ，I want my family back．Please I just need this to stop ，I need everything to be okay．I don't want this anymore．I'm begging just let everything be okay．
𝟷𝟶 . 𝟶𝟿 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, I hate living a life where I'm paranoid about hurting the people I love due to an anger disorder I can't even control. It's gotten so bad to the point that I end up hurting myself just so I don't have to deal with the guilt of hurting them. I just want it all to go away.
𝟷𝟷 . 𝟶𝟻 . 𝟸𝟻 ,, Reposting depressing TikToks simply because you want someone to notice your mental state & they still never notice is the worst feeling ever.
I feel like I'm constantly repeating myself by saying how unwell I feel but they don't even ask me if I'm okay or want me to talk about it at all. It feels as though they aren't even concerned about my wellbeing & that hurts me so much.
I hate feeling like such an attention seeker.
𝟶𝟷 . 𝟷𝟷 . 𝟸𝟼 ,, i havent updated this in a while. i keep having repetitive dreams about my sa and its really fuckingughhh i wanna cry
i feel so dirty and gross i wanna curl upin a ball and die ahsiwbdehwr
𝟶𝟿 . 𝟷𝟿 . 𝟸𝟼 ,, HELLO. it's been such a long time holy shit... i've decided i want to update this more often, okay? okay. i have to sleep now it's 4am help.
wait but before i sleep there is something i really wanted to rant about. idk if this is rude or just a really bad & unhealthy way of thinking, but everytime i see a venti yumeshipper or #1 fan & notice that they only started liking him from 2021 & up, it makes me giggle. i feel so superior to them & all i can think is "what a fake!", because i have loved venti since beta testing in early 2020 & have genuinely been so dedicated to him. i swear i used to be insane about him. i had a whole folder of images of just him in my camera roll, as well as multiple pinterest boards. i would constantly save pictures of him from pinterest, twitter & every other media app that had photos. i used to go by his name & projected so heavily onto him, so much so that i made headcanons for him that related to me, my interests, my hobbies & more. i made so many drawings of him & even taped them to my wall, i also had stickers of him on my wall & water bottle as well. i made bracelets themed off him & even put his name on some. i always did my hair like him, in fact every oc/sona that i have ever made has had his hair style, even my current yumesona, irene was inspired (hair & personality wise) off of him. i remember constantly begging my mom for a venti cosplay every halloween & just everyday in general. i remember getting my venti plushy for my birthday from my sister, oh it is such an ugly plushy but i love it so so much. i remember when i lost my 50/50 to him i cried & then spent money & got him. i remember on his rerun with ayato, when i accidentally wished on ayatos banner instead & got him, but clearly the universe was rooting for me because i ended up getting ventis c1 afterward & it was on a 50/50 at very early pity too. he is such a huge part of me & my identity it's actually crazy. he means so much more to me than these people, they could never compare.
𝟶𝟿 . 𝟸𝟻 . 𝟸𝟼 ,, Hi guys! I got my gallbladder removed yesterday 🥹. It's currently 5AM the next day & I'm eating animal crackers before I take my medicine. I feel so much better than I did yesterday dude, it hurt so so bad it genuinely felt like someone beat the absolute shit out of me. I wanted to talk about what happened yesterday also, because it was really really scary for me.
So, they put me under for surgery & I passed out, right? Well the second I woke up, I couldn't move or talk whatsoever. The lady was trying to get me to talk to her & I genuinely could not at all, she was so confused as to what was happening bro. What scared me more was the other doctors who were asking if I was having a seizure or something.. but then I lowkey thought about it & I realize now that if that was a seizure I was having, I probably wouldn't have been able to properly think like i was doing. She started asking me to squeeze her hand, which again I literally couldn't do anything. I was finally able to move my mouth somewhat & I attempted to mouth the words, "I can't move," which is when she realized I was just completely paralyzed & gave me medicine for it. I ended up able to move & talk after that, which my first words to her were, "I'm so sorry," LMFAO. That was genuinely the scariest thing ever, I was in so much pain from my stomach & my shoulder hurt so bad due to gas, on top of all that I also couldn't fucking move or talk. It was horrifying.
I have been paralyzed waist down before, as well as thighs & hips, shoulders & sometimes just my forearm down. But I have NEVER been FULLY paralyzed like this. I couldn't even move my face dude, while I was trying to talk I ended up just getting my mouth stuck open. The whole time I was trying to scream for help because I was so scared. I'm genuinely so glad that in the end I was able to mouth something she was able to notice.
Anyways, I think the first thing I talked about when I got out of surgery was my dog, Piper. The lady asked if I had any pets & since the only one I would be able to see & pet after my surgery was my dog, she was the first one I talked about. I started crying because I missed her, I also cried because I missed my mom & sister as well. I don't really remember much of what I spoke about because the pain meds made me really sleepy, so I just kept trying to fall asleep again, especially since I was in a lot of pain. I almost ended up spending the night there because it hurt to get up & even go to the bathroom, so changing probably would've hurt even worse. I ended up becoming comfortable & got to change finally, so it was fine in the end!
I really feel like I need to burp right now help 😭. Okay I'm gonna take a nap & I will update you guys either later or tomorrow!!