hi guys. hey guys. i have a constant stomach ache i cant thinka bour swansea or daisuke or anya or curly or rhe other one without like acfualllyyy feeling sick
They all beed to.
need to like
get blown up im so serious
nov. 3 night-time
- i'm foing to a convention in like a week feom now (now = 3:55am nov 3/24) and if there is mouth washing merch i will go insane and u will see. u'll see.
nov. 4 twilight
- an irl likes mouthwashing and i kind of dieddd i didd so bad. i mentioned my daisuke cosplay and they switched from all lowercase to "OMG THATS COOL" dont play w me i diedddd. thats so nice. and theh said i have to show them adn it "needs to be more popular" WHICH IS SO TRUE!!!!!!!
nov. 5 night-time
- guysss. said irl like. i showed him my daisuke cosplay and he was like
quoteGonna be the most greatest Daisuke Cosplay ever, THE Daisuke cosplayer
- and like AWWWWWW IRL THAT LIKES MOUTHWASHING THATS SO KIND OFYOU. THANK U. AWWW. AWW. AW.WWW.A.W.W.WARHAHGSD
i do not actually look like daisuke, really, so it's just me wearing some weird outfit, but i appreciate his support anyhow.
- if you're curious. i don't want to get up to take a photo of my sweetener, and i haven't got my mouthwash yet. whoops
nov. 6 afternoon
- i learned another irl likes mouthwashing. but he misrepresents jimmy and it drives me insane. i know i likely percieve a lot of the characters wrong (which you can fact check yourself (ahhh but for the record i don't think theres a wrong way to percieve a character, i think theres a wrong way to speak about fact or imply truth)). but its ok cuz he is a daisuke & anya duo Fan and Truther and thats the way to be. amen
nov. 6 night-time
- guys i'm tweaking. i fucked up my sweetener so i'm not bringing it :( womp womp. its Ok i got my mouthwash and :( ugly ass hawaiian shirt so we're ok. i'm kind of just going for the vendors and touhou panel. i saw a mouthwashing group but they're really scary so i'm not going to join them
nov. 8 day-time
- hiii gang. i'm omw to the con as of rn! stopped at a tims and we're about four hours away. i finished daisukes stupid fucking sweatband. it looks.. mid but Its okay. maybe it makes up for the sweetener. i still have to finish the mouthwash in the car LOL. hopefullyyy i can stop to get some calypso before we get there. it starts in like four hours exactly Someone sedate me
nov. 9 twilight CON DAY ONE
- hii guys con day one over. there was an entire mouthwashing group. an entire one. a swansea and all. and they all had props and the same Pony badge it wws fucking awesomeeee. their daisuke did a stupid meme photo with me (the spiderman one), and they all liked my mouthwash (which looks great btw).
- my merch haul. i spent most of my food money but its okayyyy. arlan and qingque AND CURLY DUDE. and curly. peak. crazy peak.
- while me and my irl were leaving, they came up and were like "hii our daisuke left. take a group photo with us?" so i DID and we all loom fucking awesome and curly got to lay on the ground andd it was peak. some guy physically harassed us afterwards but it was SO worth.
- i got recognized a ton being from a popular new game which is fun. someone talked to me in character and said i "deserve better than to die to a drunk" (because it's jimmy's fault....). i said it was okay but that's a scary low bar to pass.
- an anya (not from the group) came up to me and asked if it was real mouthwash. i explained i have been drinking from it and it's lemonade, and they were delighted. they were so so so so so fucking cute. woaw.
- someone else saw me while i was buying something from a vendor (mouthwashing stickers...) they were talking to their friend and said "oh my gosh he even has mouthwash..." so i drank from it and they said they "love mouthwashers". LOL.
- another duo came up and said they love my daisuke. one of them said "who's that again?" and their friend (very excited) said "my guyyyy!! pony express!!!!!!" and that makes me happy.
- there were more but they were all lovely. i got a lot of photos with the other mouthwashers LOLOL
nov. 10 day-time CON DAY 2
- well it's day three. but i got home too late to write. a lot happened today. i got banger five guys and saw an anya in there (she saw me :( drink warm tap water from my mouthwash bottle :(.)—we all went to a dance—so we stayed tillll like 12:10? it was sick.
- we were all so tired before the dance (11) but i suggested everyone walk the streets to my hotel so i could switch into daisuke. cuz. daiiissukeee... so we did. and there was a fucking fire alarm. and everyone was goated and the dance continued. WOOOOOOOOO. an anya from friday went as rena higurashi yesterday!!!! he's super cool so i hope i see him again today. RAGHHHHSGAHAHAH
nov. 10 afternoon CON DAY 3
- its 6:45 nov 10 (duh) and a couple minutes ago /daisuke became MINE!!! RAHHHGGGHHHRHHAHAJAJAJJDJXJXHZGZH!!!! i only had to fucking sell my soul and die for weeks waiting and get dcammed (love u rob) and die and revive and dieee and die and die lots of dying BUT SO WORTH IT SO SO SO WORTH IT!!! i'll come back later for day 3 updates
- * spent my last 20 dollars
nov. 11 afternoon
- hiii gang. its 2pm and we are on our way back home!! con over!!!!! a lot happened yeaterday so. a lot to tell.
- first before anything uhh i think i wanted to make a list of like all the people i took photos with (since i.. cant show you the photos obviously).
- list time (mostly in order day 1 - day 3)
- anya mouthwashing (1)
- KUROE SLIPPERY GIRLS MARIN KITAGAWA MY DRESS-UO DARLINH
- red flute guy from gay show that my internet bf likes
- k angel needy streamer overdose
- bomb reze (with a full bomb head mask.)
- calcifer howls moving castle
- momo ayase dandadan (1)
- celestia ludenburg danganronpa
- anya mouthwashing (2) <- part of the mouthwashing group
- entire mouthwashing group (with everyone, i as daisuke)
- grell black butler for internet bf
- imbibitor dan heng honkai star rail
- LAYLA GENSHIN IMPACT
- nagito komaeda with a 'dan and phil made me gay' shirt
- QINGQUE. QINGQUE HONKAI STAR RAIL.
- shiho project sekai
- POMPOMPURIN WITH ears and TAILLLL
- kokomi genshin impact
- ETHO
- ticci toby (?) for internet bf
- lamb cult of the lamb
- ganyu genshin impact
- PROVIDENCE RISK OF RAIN RHAGAGAGHAHHAHA
- rena higurashi (same guy as anya mouthwashing (2), he's goated
- momo ayase dandadan (2)
- tifa lockhart ff for maya
- that guy from jojos for internet bf
- SUCCUBUS MARIN KITAGAWAMY DRESS- UP DARLING RHAHAH
- mikuo vocaloid
- muse dash rin vocaloud
- mello death note
- hange attack on titan
- anya mouthwashing (3) <- also super awesome
- post-crash curly mouthwashing
- kazuha genshin impact for regu
- marci, pb, and finn adventure time
- maki harukawa danganronpa
- daisuke mouthwashing (twin!)
- mikan tsumiki & hajime hinata danganronpa
- dabi & hawks my hero academia
- cursed okarun dandadan
- luminary emil & everlasting night ada mesmer identity v
- red flute guy & the white one for internet bf
- ininia witch hat atelier
- alright and thats not counting photos taken of me and someone + photos i forced friends to ask for me
nov. 12 night-time
nov. 16 afternoon
nov. 17 afternoon
- wow my stomach fucking hurts. wow. i hope everyone in mouthwashing explodes.
nov. 21 day-time
- i have not Liked something this much in um like Years. yearsss... and two things in the past. man!
- anyway /haul added to the collection and i am sooooo happy & excited to work on my overseer rentry for it. hhrhahhhhshggzghhh
nov. 22 afternoon
- Umm ok. Ok. I need to
Guys
one more variation on the topic of jimmy or anyone else 'taking responsibility' and i fuckimg end it all
how is it not clear to everyone who played or saw this game that the entire fuckimg. dude
ugh its
like
the idea that jimmy was trying to take responsibility and FAILED is
so fucking wack
like what are you ON ABOTU!!!!
he did not fail at shit
he never wanted to????? he neevr tried to?????
he is aware that to the general public, taking responsibility is just what makes you a good person
and that nothing else particularly mamtters
so he didnt do anything
so every single tim
i see this shit
like
that one fuck ass
"if jimmy took responsibility" anya keeping the baby with HIM AS THE FATHER art
ARE YOU!!!!! DENSE
aside how crazy it is to even conjure something like that UP
we SAW that he does not understand the concept!!!!! he does not get it at all!!!!!!!!!!
his taking responsibility by the way—looking at his actions—were very very very literally DIRECTLY making things worse for everyone
he did not fail at shit
oh my god
brooo like what are you!! YAPPING about
i dont care if u haveeeee. some 'happy' au where jimmy gets help. what ever bro
but when you word it like he's "actually" "taking responsibility"
you are wrong
the only world where someone who doesn't understsand something like that gets help is because they a) LEARN afterwards how to deal with being responsible and b) are forced into it by people who DO understamd.
and some people go around AGREEING!!!
talking about some "if only he was responsible..." dawg dawg dawg dawg dawg
you are
that was not a possibility
but also it was not
the point??
not ONLY did he think it was possible for him to do, but he thought it would be the solution; that it, the concept, is the focus
and the reason for that, the reason that 'responsibility' would be the focus of the situation he was in
is because he doesn't
gaf
about anyone in it
the idea of being responsible, not just for him, but when it's the focus of a bad situation, revolves around the person themselves
especially when the phrase becomes apparent
a lot of the time, like, being responsible is about helping others and whatnot
going around saying you're doing it
issss. not helpful
maybe the Fact this guy had to Remind Himself that's what he was "doing" the entire time Leads into the fact He was Making Everything Miserable for Everyone Else the Entire Fucking Time
like are you
how are you falling for that
for the idea that if he did anything relating to accepting what he did things would be better at all
not good but any kind of better
like what the fuck
have you never been in a bad situation before
because the person who did something wrong acknowledging it
does not
fix anything
because that's not what responsibility even is
and jimmy couldnt even do THAT
i'm going to
die
cuz you guys are chronicallu online
some of u
if you are in a toxic relationship
and they acknowledge
their faults
that is a good thing BECAUSE they are ALSO IN A BAD SPOT.
they also deserve to get better.
so that acknowledgement is good for both parties
at least you know they're getting better
and that means
for you
things might get better
when you have a character whom EVERYTHING rests on, such as jimmy, it doesn't work like that: it leads to nothing
if a character who has done such wrong acknowledges it
you may realize
if you know the character
if you recall anything about jimmy
you may realize that he would not
care
because
he knows what he did
and nothing! got any better for it
so that entire step that is SOMETIMES good for abusers or harmful people to do
doesnt help SHIT!!!!
and then taking responsibility
its a subjective
sort of thing
typically
but for him, this character, like? it isn't too hard to umm., how do i word htis
like
narrow down the list of things tod o
a) in no world could he be a father
b) in no world could he avoid punishment
c) in no world. nooo world. should he be forgiven
those stay true while taking responsibility
for example um
if ur dating someone and they like
hit you maybe
their form of taking responsibility—which is good but not the BEST—would likely include not being forgiven
not for a long long time
because that is undeserving of them
the best option for people who do these things are?? healing on their OWN, i feel
or with certain support
but certainly not support of their abused whoever
how could you misunderstand characters bad enough to draw anya and jimmy with a child ouuhhh my god thats
so bad
i hope they don't care about the game tha tmuch
because if they did
and they do understand anything about these characters and
still genuinely believe like
shit like that is
good
you
that
that says something about you
i think
i don't
i associate these people with
the sort of person who thinks that saying sorry is enough
which by the way is synonymous with acknowledging your faults but WORSE
because you don't need to acknowledge anything to apologize
and then even if you do, it doesn't fix anything
ah ah aha h aha ah and fixing
doesn't it make sense that a guy who wants a better position of control would think 'fixing' is taking the heavier load from people
to misunderstand it like that
doesn't that ? make sense ?? how do you not see that
i'm about to reference myself
hang onnn.
ANYA:
"i know you'll figure it out, jimmy."
"you're so capable!"
anya says this because she knows he considers that an important factor to being strong
by the way
because thats just how he is
control is. important. being capable is what he tries todo
not take responsibility
but because he views the two as equally important they're
synonymous
IM GOIMNG TO TWEAK
JIMMY:
"has Swansea been like this towards you for your whole internship?"
JIMMY:
"don't let him push you around too much."
- THE REASON!!!!!
HE CAN SAY THINGS LIKE THAT
IS BECAUSE!!! HE THINKS !!!!!!!!!! HE IS THE ONLY ONE THAT HSOULD BE ALLOWED TO PUSH PEOPLE AROUMD.
EX. PUSHING DAISUKE AROUND!!!! LIKE!!!!!!!!! 2 MONTHS LATER BRO
so basically swansea would be doing his job for him
which would mean he can't take responsibility
which is how he is fixing everything
something he considered to be fixing things, he considered to be taking responsibility, because he—the person in control—needs to take responsibility as part of his role
ANYA:
"um, i was thinking... we never went back into the cockpit after we dragged him out"
JIMMY:
"it's almost entirely foamed up"
"kind of a miracle Curly didn't end up fossilized."
"but it could still be unstable."
ANYA:
"i just think, well, it's the only place the code scanner could still be."
JIMMY:
"otherwise we're shit out of luck."
"i'll take a look."
- the reason he does things like this
where he takes credit for someone elses ideas
and does things
and then later as u may recall. complains... about doing everything.
is because that is responsibility to him
being capable
andd
doing things. for people.
this is how a lot of REAL PEOPL
view responsibility
if you think of a standard husband who may do something like passive aggresively do the dishes
and then
if its pointe dout
"but i'm doing them?"
right
because a lot of real people
do think that
like
actions
like that
where you are LITERALLY doing things
makes up for SHIT
i.e. anya asks jimmy to feed curly; he bitches about doing everything aroun dhere; does it anyway
because when people view
hhahshdahshhh im going to tweak
when someone who views responsibility like this is given the opportunity to DO something for someone—again, what they view MAKES them a better person—they do. they always do.
because to them
that is how you fix things
when in reality
you need to acknowledge the ACTUAL thing you did wrong
like not listening
or not caring
like, im going to
tweak
ok
hangon
ok.
in scene two
2 months after the crash
around 6 minute sinto the game
anya asks jimmy to feed curly for the firs ttime
she goes on all like "it hurts me to listen to"
there are alot of things a normal person
could say to that
revolving curly
or her
or how bad it is for all of them
but he doesn't
because he does not gaf about anyone else
he just
passive aggresively says he'll feed him
WHILE INSULTING HER RANK
which he DOESNT VEEN HAVE BECAUSE HES A FUCKING CO PILOT
because to HIM
to someone LIKE him
the act of doing the thing in question—in this one, feeding curly—makes him a good person.
if you take out all other speech, if you take out the emotion there: jimmy went out of his way to feed curly for anya
thereofre
thereeeeefore
he is fixing things
he is taking responsibility
and he is being a good person
+ captain
im going to tweak.
people who think the way he does. about responsibility. about helping others. do not understand anything at all
and they genuinely cannot
form good relationships
right and to be clear
taking responsibility is subjective and uhh
whats the word like
nuanced
um
orrr
dude whats the word. its
specific to every
cCASE BY CASE
the idea of taking responsibility is case-by-case. it depends
but typically it involves acknowledgement of the other parties
and it can def involve
doing
nothing
ceasing what you were doing
for those who do something rather than nothing wrong
like what i mean is
not caring can be doing nothing, in which to aid things, you must do something
not listening can be doing something—talking over, maybe—, in which to aid things, you must CEASE doing something
and in jimmys case
holy fuck did that guy nead to !! CEASEEE CEASE CEAS - I explained all of that to my mom and she agreed and commented about anya, and some streamers (particularly men) not understanding why she was pregnant, and the way she's nice to jimmy:
- "because men will never be scared the way women are—they'll never have the fear she does"
nov. 30 afternoon
- shelf
- ohh and ummmm
- print and keychain as well
dec. 27 twilight
- my stomach hurts again. i miss faisuke. getting /daisuke was the peak of my peak. he's the character i've thought about the least because it actually makes me sick. thinking abt him Physucally Hurts me. the others i try to put up with. i haven't even started thinkimg about his relevance in regards to some other plots w the gang. brcause it hurts. really bad. i'll get on that soon
timestamp key
twilight: 12am to 7am
day-time: 7am to 12pm
afternoon: 12pm to 7pm
night-time: 7pm to 12am
abouttt about me
This is a wip. ummm. Moufwashkng