She lied under the heavy weight of her blanket. The darkness enveloping her like a cocoon, with only a single source of illumination. Her eyes squinted adjusting to the light from her phone, her hands shaking as she stared at the tiny text that had been sent to her.

"What did I do wrong?" frankly Kronii did not know the answer to that question. She had already forgotten the initial cause of her sudden embargo of all communications from anon. She had already earlier blocked him in all possible social media, all that remined for her to do to was deleting his phone number.

So then why now did she finally hesitate?

"I'm sorry, for whatever it was I did. I apologize, I dogeza, just fucking talk to me Kronii." her fingers trembled, tired and dry eyes scanning through every line searching for any possible hint of deceit.

No, he didn't do anything wrong. Whatever he did must've been petty and insignificant if she couldn't remember it.

She places the phone face down, almost ashamed to read any further incoming messages. She smothered her face with her favorite pillow, dry and crusty due to her sweat.

Why was she like this? This always happened, always overreacting over the smallest things. Why? Why couldn't she be normal?

A muffled scream escapes from under the bedsheets.

She was angry at herself for being such a paranoid wreck, angry at how she just couldn't accept people for who they were. She was always second guessing, always looking for that 'got you' moment that would justify her need to cut off that person out of her life.

She knew it was just an excuse, that it was self-serving and self-pitying emotional masochism. She couldn't let anyone in, not anymore. She couldn't handle her own pain, how could she handle the pain of another person?

Her parents told her to suck it up, tried to help her by making her go from therapist to therapist. There was no help for her other then empty words and pointless medications that only ended up worsening her already fragile psyche.

She cries as she hears the never ending buzzing of her phone, she can't, not right now.

She wanted to love, but how?