Welcome To My Diary (↼_〚ྐ: :〛)
May 1 11:53 PM
Hello lovely Diary & friends all Alike. I have entries to Put here from my prior days. Today was okay and I did Not do much. I played with a Syringe today and it hurt a bit. I'm still sore. Here are my Past thoughts of the week. . .
I feel like I have zoochosis Like constantly running in a circle in my enclosure while the reminders of said predicament are blurred into my psyche
I can feel my reality fraying at the edges All the time as I retract back Into the shell that Holds me tightly, the only Grounding sensation I have Had throughout the years of ever Habitual detachment to the World that exists Around me
From my Worthless Heart to Yours.
my real and true emotions and thoughts
That's All Tonight Goodnight
May 2 12:56 PM
I worked on Rentry Today. I'm bored and Dizzier than Most days. I'm Running out of things to do...And the hospital smells like gross antiseptic. Like okd hand Sanitizer --> I wonder if people are dying Around me, and why more people are not afraid of the hospital when it's where you come to Cease your existence most of the time. How many people get the luxury of Dying in their own homes? Like animals we should all fade into the Dirt since its more comfortable than getting needles shoved into our arms mindlessly. Prolonging your worthless life in the end only causes more misery to The bones and Muscle you were granted with.
4:18 PM.
General negative thoughts... I don't like certain people or their general sense of living. I Think maybe they don't deserve to live all that much. I am thinking of my strong sense of love as well ;-). I love music and cute things + People. cute animals most. like rodents especially or My cat. She is the cutest girl I've ever seen and the light of my life. The way people deacribe loving eachother is how i Love her. I want to wake up to her purring on my chest again soon. I have a lot of bad feelings towards people but never my cat she is gentle and truly, honestly loving. I could never love a filthy person more than I love her
I got home and immediately played Corpse Party for an Hour or so. So cute
10:42 PM.
I Feel not good. Thats it 
May 3rd,
3:09 AM.
Hallucination count 2/?. I keep seeing bugs.. My eyes Hurt.
10:26 AM.
I got 5 hours of sleep, my head hurts and I Puked until I couldn't expel anything More from my body. I think Its a good thing I can throw up Easily. Anyways I thought of a Lot of things this morning, a whirlwind of Thoughts that probably only Make sense to me. I thought of love, and How i misunderstand It very often. I don't know what it is To me, or if I can even have it the correct way. I don't know what it means to love someone Directly, or to be loved by someone as well. You cannot have one without the other, there is no such thing as unrequited love. Rejection is enough to burn those feelings out tenfold.
I thought of sex, next, a vile act I resent but It's only a form of Connection through sweat and flesh. It's boring and unneeded. I hate it and I hate Hearing about it. If i Resent my one means of connection to others, What does that say about me?
I can't tell if this is too personal to put on a Rentry diary and I can't even add my normal Emojis. I feel so Lifeless!!! So dull!!! ( º＿º ) This isn't to say I'm in that much distress at All anyways except Maybe a little. #SAVEME
Been really into incest lately but I need to get a job so I can't focus on that rn
12:37 PM.
I had a Fun day so far. I talked to My new friend Karissa and wlso Maria and Danny. They are all Superb. And Funny
Lohen is my brotherwife. I have No shame and Will not hide my love for him. I like this Image.
8:52 PM
I'm finding it hard to form the words I want to (´_ゝ`) I'm confused a lot. It could be different soon
May 4th.
12:12 AM
May 5th
3:11 AM
I had a dream That I was drowning handcuffed to my Friend and kept screaming 'help' and no one came. Then for Some reason my Mother finally grabbed me just as i Was accepting my imminent death and i was Choking on water. She said I Was faking it All and hit me on the Back in front of our Family. I felt like a Child again as in Truly helpless
9:15 PM
I had Dinner and it was good and then I puked. I also Made this because I like Making these
How Fun
May 7th
I've been too tired to update my diary. I've been a Bit happy the last few days despite how sick I've been. But still too Tired to properly do conversations or my responsibilities. I Wonder why no Matter how much I sleep I Can't seem to get enough rest. Oh well... I made a rentry today for my wife. He's working on it. My mom and I hung Out today like Always.. all Is well!
