lovemail and stuff check out my directory

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ so.. i wrote like 5 bazillions lovemails for alek already but i keep archiving them after looking at them for too long.. so this will probably get deleted and remade in the near future aswell.. i wanted to do this in the form of letters but maybe i'll save that for a different rentry as i have like 20 urls to decorate. this is gonna be cringe and i'm such a sap but it's a-ok

ok.. kinda repeating what i wrote in /dawidowski but whatever, i first found out about alek's existence around the 20th of march, 2019 (not sure what day it was exactly, i'm just guessing and i like the date) when we were covering kamienie na szaniec in class. i actually didn't pay the book much mind at first, i didn't read it (i didn't even borrow nor buy it) and i wasn't interested in history at the time. when i was finally forced to get the book, i looked at the cover and was like "aw, who is that charming guy on the left" and i looked him up on my phone a few days later..

but that wasn't when our relationship REALLY started. i was busy with other things and was stupidly hyperfixated on football, too focused on it to actually get into history... but i like to use that date for our relationship anniversary, and the date i got hyperfixated on kns as our marriage anniversary. so we got married around 4 years after we started dating!

now hold your horses, you might be thinking what the hell what do you mean you're dating a historical figure? he's dead, isn't that disrespectful?

me and alek are soulbound. the textbook definition of it is "soulbound (or soulbonding) refers to a deep, often metaphysical connection where a person (the soulbonder) interacts with an autonomous being—usually a fictional character—who exists within their mind as a separate presence." but in my case it's kind of different..

for me and alek, it would be more of a spiritual soulbound, i believe we truly are soulmates and our souls are tied together (i strangle him with the red string of fate sometimes) we communicate with eachother, he sends me signs and takes care of me. of course he doesn't have the ability to control my reality, but i think he tries to make my days slightly better with what he CAN control. do i sound delusional? you are the delusional one. i sometimes experience clairalience, that's when i can very clearly smell him lol.. for those who are wondering, he smells like soap. there's a more detailed description of his scent on my other rentries but.. he mostly smells like aldehydic soap.

we also have the same exact scar on the same exact spot. as in, we have the same scar on our lips! isn't that just so romantic guys? we are literally meant to be aren't we

you might see me calling myself a yumeshipper, a self shipper, whatever the hell.. but that's just for rentry, i don't use these terms anywhere else. i see alek as my real life boyfriend and i am devoted to him.. you might've also seen me yumeshipping with other characters but trust me, they do not come near him at all. i do feel just a little guilty, but i'm sure alek understands. my current celebrity crush is george mackay, because he reminds me of alek, (kind of) appearance wise and personality wise. they're both such sunshines it's so so cute

anywho, i find comfort in him unlike anyone else i have ever dated, i don't think i can put my love for him into words. i believe we were meant to be together and i don't really care about what anyone thinks.. i love & will continue loving him through everything he thought was a flaw, he is perfect in my eyes and he is the dearest person to me. i love him more than anything and anyone else!

i also really admire him, i wish i was like him and i look up to him. i struggle with really bad anxiety and shyness, while he was so reassuring, confident and a natural leader. but that's why we fit so well, isn't it? opposites do attract after all.

i'm not really suicidal, (he's actually helped me out of that part of my life, among other things) but i don't fear death at all because i hope and i think i will get to be with him in whatever comes after death!

i must sound so stupid to others but if you found this rentry you're either genuinely interested or you're stalking me.. shivers