The Root And Its Square A dramatic half-true fiction between Four and Two (BFB), created by the latter themself
I: Home, No Longer Where The Heart Is
Two curled their kneecaps to their tear-doused face, rocking back and forth impatiently. Tomorrow was the day they would be exiled from the planet they called home. The deed they had done was worse enough to have them flying through the atmosphere of Planet Goiky and off into the blackness of the eternally still universe. They wished to themself that they could go back in time and fix it. What a selfish, fickle dream for such a selfish, fickle number.
They’d miss the green grass, the yellow trees, the gentle blue sky filled with stratus clouds of varying shapes and sizes. But most of all they’d miss the numbers. The variables. The shapes. They all now avoided them like a cat to water. Two’s eyes filled with tears as they remembered even Four, the one who shared their passion, their dream, was now avoiding them to the edge of the Earth.
Shakily arising from their fetal position, Two decided to make themself some fruity tea. The last tea they’d make themself for years to come. They wished they could say goodbye to Four, gumdrop, to all the numbers. Watching the hot water bubble inside the teakettle gave them a sense of last-minute security, something they valued in such a desperate time. When the teakettle boiled over, Two made it their priority to carefully take their china teaset out of the cupboard to eat with. Placing their teacup on its respective saucer, Two stared blankly at the chair that Four used to sit in, unoccupied. They remembered the good times they had, chewing on lemon biscuits and discussing plans for hosting a game show like Announcer did in BFDI. Lemon biscuits were Four’s favorite. Two decided to avoid them today, although they were their favorite too.
Biting into the strawberry-flavored swiss roll, Two stared drearily at the wall. They were on the verge of crying again. Why? , Two questioned themself, why cry over a stupid number? I won’t even see him when I get sent into space like a probe anyway. Unless… unless… Two let their mind wander. They knew that they could come back to earth because of their extraterrestrial powers, and Four could do the opposite and come to them, but the chance of that happening was rarer than a plane crash. Taking a sip of their now fully steeped tea, they sighed, and ate the rest of their now bland-tasting swiss roll in silence and solitude.
Mildly scrubbing the fragile plates and cups they ate with, Two began to cry once more. Completely abandoning their dishes in the sink, they face planted into their pillows and began sobbing heavily. In the midst of their tears, sleep found them through the dark, and guided them off to a temporary state of innocence.
The next morning, when Two awakened, they weren’t surprised to see Three and X hovering inches from their exhausted face. They hauled themself up out of bed and marched with them in an almost dronelike fashion. They were sore from crying, and they couldn’t let anything out any longer, so why even try to care?
Three and X guided the green integer to one side of a beige and orange seesaw. Two almost chuckled. If this was the device they’d be sent to space with, it proves how humiliating their species really could be. The deep voice of the head of the numbers startled them from their thoughts. Ten began strutting their way, their face in an aggravated twist. Strutting straight to the other edge of the seesaw, Ten stood straight like a monarch as he delivered his speech.
“Two Integer, I hereby decree that you and your sinister aura shall be banished from these sacred lands. Citizens, take one last look at this vile criminal before they become exiled for good.”
Nobody cared to look, some even were pointing and snickering to eachother rather than looking depressed and somber. Two rubbed their eyes, noticing sag and dark circles from yesterday afternoon’s crying session. They didn’t care. At least that’s what they told themself. Ten used their alien power to lift themself high in the air, and with an echoing smack of the seesaw, our “antagonist” was sent flying through the atmosphere.
II: Darkness Like Such Never Leads To Light
Staring wistfully at the stars they’ve greeted so many times, Two floated through the expanse. Jerking their head violently in either direction, it was clear to them that this was the 857th day without any sign of another individual. They were partially into their third year in space, they thought, and they were starting to lose any sort of hope of going back to Goiky, back to home.
They’ve already named all of the stars forward and back, identified every constellation their eyes could see, and even sent asteroids out of their particular orbit (with no shame, unthankfully). They had sobbed far too many times, and all their attempts now ended with frozen over tearducts. Nothing was there for them anymore. Nothing at all.
Hearing a high frequency sound, Two turned towards this now familiar noise. Another star was exploding today. Supernovas were the highest points of their day now, and it kept them entertained for the short period between long hours of sleep and living inside their head. After a blast of color they could only describe as paradise, they found that their entertainment came to a close. They breathed pitifully, and then shut their eyes, ready to return to the world inside their mind that they’ve been abandoning for a bit too long..
Fluttering their eyes open hopefully, their eyes were met with a familiar sight. Green grass beneath them, the robin’s egg blue sky above them, and a slight breeze blowing north, through the mustard yellow trees. Beside them was Four, casting a hopeful expression, as if waiting for the lesser integer to return. Upon witnessing Two’s return, he grabbed onto their waist with a grip, almost painfully smashing Two’s ribs into bits.
“Two! I missed you! Where did you run off to?!”
Their voice comforted Two, but something was off today. They felt melancholy. They knew this Four was fake, and the real Four would never act like this. They smiled at the blue character, hiding any form of grief.
“Oh, you know, spacing out as usual again. Nothing much.”
Four chuckled lightly, they were used to Two’s strange behaviors by now. Smiling at them, he began to pick some of the unidentifiable white flowers next to him, starting to form a crown with the 5-petaled plants. “Where do you want to head today?” Four asked, concentrated. Two’s face fell. They couldn’t do this anymore. Even though living in their head with this unauthentic version of Four was nice, they couldn’t keep doing this for the rest of their life. They needed to find their way back to Goiky, maybe Ten was gone! They could make amends!
“Two? Hello?” Asked the other integer, waving a twilight-colored hand in front of Two’s face.
“Four, I can’t be here forever.” Two responded, avoiding eye contact.
“What do you mean?” Four asked. They weren’t aware they were just a figment of their imagination.
Two swallowed any worry they had. “Four, you’re not real.” They said harshly, gripping at the grass below them.
The words hit Four like a knife to the chest. “What do you mean… not real?” He responded, dropping his now fully-crafted flower crown.
“I mean you’re not real, Four. You’re living in my head to substitute for the REAL Four. The Four that doesn’t love me anymore.”
Four stared, eyes blank, at Two, tears falling slowly from his black irises. He was fully broken now, Two had proven untrustable. He jolted up from his seat on the cold grass and stomped on the flower crown beneath his feet, then ran off crying to himself and trying to wipe his tears on his wrist. Two could feel the all-intrusive feeling of saltwater poking at their own eyes, and with a shallow breath, whisked themself back into reality.
Waking up back in the dusk, Two immediately, without giving themself any chance to think it through, sped through the galaxy in the opposite direction of that they were orbiting. Picking up inhuman speed, they raced, trying to find any sign of numerical life. Suddenly, they heard an ear-piercing screech. They knew exactly who it came from, too:
Four Integer.
Continuing to rush toward the sound, they found themself nearing a blue orb. Just an hour of light speed could get them to where Four was. They didn’t recognize this place from Goiky, they remembered Goiky being mainly green, but maybe things had changed, they had been away from the planet for over 2 years. Or their memory was sparse, they were too ecstatic to care at this point. All they wanted was a world to mark their residence. And sharing it with Four, an old lover, would be even better.
Nearing their final destination, they decided to send out a brief message among the air pressing against their body. “Hi, guys!” They exclaimed cheerfully. Seconds later, they crashed down on the terrain on which they would soon mark their address, causing a certain symbol a lot of distress. Two was back.
III: Unexpected Reunitement, Unexpected Consequences
“Hey! I was chasing them! Go… be over there with the other fans!”
Two took in the sights around them. Everything seemed charred and burnt to a crisp now, what happened? They saw an organized row of other objects, each with namecards, to their right. Turning around to get a full 360 of their current setting with a surprisingly still complexion, they found themselves in between Four… and a mound of 60 or so other objects. What was going on here?
“Hey, don’t ignore me!”
The agitated voice of the fellow number startled Two a small bit. They couldn’t hold out this deafening silence. They had to think of a witty thing to say, and quickly. They thought back to Four’s first line. “Fans” he had said. He must’ve succeeded in pursuing his dream as a show host! Two was proud, but jealousy pumped through their blood faster than they could mentally comprehend.
“Hi, everyone! Are you tired of battling for a dumb prize?” They spat out.
Two didn’t know if a prize even existed in Four’s show. But, it was a safe bet to get the contestant’s attention, and at least stop Four’s constant asking. They remembered discussing prizes in their show many years ago. They tried to think ahead of what they should say to pursue the poor, feeble minds of the contestants next. They were green, but not just from their average pigment.
“NO! We’re battling for a BFDI, which is awesome!” A taco objected, completely cutting off Two’s thoughts.
Well, the prize idea was smooth on their part, but they would need a lot more convincing than that to get them away from Four. They devised a plan with the few resources they had, even though it was silly, and Two had completely no idea what they were getting into. Now it was time to sell it.
“But is it really awesome?” Two fought the taco.
The taco seemed to struggle with digging for an answer. Two laughed internally at the foolishness of this object. Just a simple comeback and their argument becomes completely undone? Impossible. Breathing deeply in the seconds before responding, they put back up their salesman facade.
“Wouldn’t you rather battle for this?”
And with a quick look around, Two spotted an old hotel buried in the ground. They remembered that hotel. Why was it underground now? No time to discuss that. With a placement of their hands, transparent green magic began spewing from their fingers. Almost all the numbers, shapes and variables had a set of powers granted to them, that they learn how to handle throughout life. Two’s specialty was telekenisis, and that’s exactly what they planned to sell to the objects. As the green magic channeled and charged up, the hotel sprouted slowly from its resting place and stood, mighty, over Four’s contestants. To put a cherry on the dazzling cake, Two turned around and smiled smugly toward the contestants, proud of their creation.
“Oh. My. Gordita. I so floppin’ want that power!” The taco from earlier exclaimed excitedly.
“Me too!” An eraser with a surprisingly deep voice chimed in.
Two’s smile grew bigger, but only for a split moment. A tennis ball and a golf ball decided to cause some conflict.
“Guys? We shouldn’t just trust this new Two thing.”
“I agree with TB. We don’t even know anything about it! Where did it come from? What are its motives? Is it a qualified host?”
Two felt discouraged. How would they convince the contestants to come with them instead of Four now? But a pie came to their rescue.
“Do you even know the answers to those questions about Four? And yet you built a rocket to the moon to obey Four. Cool story, sis.”
Two was astonished by the aluminum-wrapped pastry. They not only broke down the golf and tennis balls’ arguments, but they also gave Two some valuable information. Four must have forced the contestants to battle! They went to the moon for Four! This made their blood sizzle and boil like a teapot. Wait a minute, that was a good game show name. Teapot… T… The Power Of Two! TPOT! It was perfect!
“Don’t worry GB! I know Two is entirely safe!” A bottle said, furthering the pie’s argument. It raised Two’s confidence back to the dealer attitude they needed.
Two’s feet were aching from standing already. They never stood up on a surface in space, and that meant an unfit body. Moving to the left, they spotted an inactive volcano. They remembered that landmark as well! With a push and a pull, the lava from inside was now on the outside, flying in the air with ease. The contestants stared and gazed in amazement, mouth agape. Two was still feeling that pang of jealousy in their heart, so they decided to be a tad bit egotistical. With a violent wave of their hands, the lava was now in the form of a two. The contestants were very impressed with this, and cheered for Two. Wrapped up in pride, Two accidentally lost partial control of their powers.
“Oops!”
The lava lost plummeted toward the Earth faster than the integer could stop it, unfortunately landing inside one of their followers.
“Hehe! It tickles!” The bottle giggled, before the heat of the magma began to crack her delicate glass.
She began to scream, shattering not soon after. Two looked at their work in distress, but they knew the show had to go on. What was more distressing to them was what the pie that seemingly liked Two completely turned on them.
“Yeah, totally safe.” The pie said sarcastically at the fragments of the broken bottle.
Two decided they would divert the attention of the mass away from the crime scene and focus more on selling their wonderful power. After a moment of consideration, they marched a little bit away from the bottle, with the contestants following like paparazzi. Turning toward them again, they smiled competitively.
“Wanna see me move a forest?”
The contestants yelled excitedly. Two was surprised that the brainless objects were able to get over the death of such an innocent friend so easily, but that wasn’t their focus now! Looking over the edge of the hill they found out they were standing upon, they looked down upon a small forest below. Holding their arms above their head, the lime magic channeled through their palms and fingertips again. With a large snap, the trees in the forest abandoned their dug pits, and rose up, roots and all, and were then dragged a couple miles away. Two realized they hadn’t lifted the forest up enough, and found marks of fresh brown dirt in the perfectly pale green grass. Their face flushed, which they hid from the contestants, as they harshly set the forest back down as carelessly as setting down a book on a nightstand.
“Abandon your spot in Four’s silly game. Switch to mine and win, and that power is yours.”
There wasn’t any detection of propaganda in their smug smile, at least in the participants’ eyes. With a cheer, 29 of Four’s 51 contenders swapped to Two’s side in an instant. Four’s neutral, swept away expression changed again back to one of annoyance.
“Hey!” He cried.
“Hey Two, I’m not convinced. Why would I want to move a forest? I could just walk.” A tree butted in.
“Don’t like moving forests?” Two thought aloud, “Well maybe you’d like this!”
The tree was confused for a split second, before they saw the once still sun morph into an abstract and unique shape. It resembled a red ball with silver, shiny spikes lining its rim. With Two’s gesture to the left, it hovered above the now previous host, Four. This was the payback Two always wanted! Now was their chance to get back at Four for flowing with the crowd so many years ago.
The spiky device lowered towards Four, and in record time, it was bouncing up and down, the sharp cones digging into Four’s skin as they were beaten to the ground, his nubs misshapen . Even though it was a harsh punishment for the perfect square, Two thought it was the best time to multitask and barter their limitless telekenisis as well as express their hatred and granny-smith green jealousy for Four.
The tree from earlier seemed pleased too.“Ok, yeah, that’s impressive as bark! I think I want to switch to your show,” they said, walking over to the group of excited contenders already forming.
“Bark’s not impressive!” A pillow interjected.
Two was feeling on top of the world and was elated to gain so many followers in such a short expanse of time. Who knew that they could go from outlaw to game show host in the span of 20 minutes? Internally giggling to themself childishly, they forgot their hand was still controlling the abstracted sun. Glancing over in the general direction, they were met with Four, still being cruelly stabbed with the points of the shape, was talking to himself in a panic.
“Why am I.. losing all of my… contestants?” Four asked the air around him in between groans of pain, “Everyone… needs to stay with me… FOREVER!”
Two cringed at Four’s overpossessiveness. He was already super connected to his contestants. Two thought it was pathetic, ridiculous even, for an alien with a god-like nature to break down like this. It was irrational and irresponsible of him as a fully functioning character. But, Two realized something after a minute of taunting the poor number in the folds of their mind. They wouldn’t necessarily like this sort of treatment either. Their lovely followers? Snatched from their fingertips by a greater force they couldn’t control? It sounded like a nightmare.
Two snapped out of their sickly sappy, emotional trance. What were they thinking? They couldn’t sympathize with the one they were figting against, could they? And they had completely lost their senses to the world around them. Focusing in on the speaker, who at this given moment, was still Four, Two prepared to defend their show, and their prize of endless and limitless telekinetic power.
“Face it, Four, if you can’t offer us anything better than Two’s highly desirable powers, we’re all saying sayonara.” A lollipop explained.
“But people! Don’t forget! You are battling for the world-famous “A BFDI”!”
Two saw Four pull a block out of their personal inventory. It shined against the hue of the sky, radiating over all of the contestants like the North Star. Under closer examination, it looked like a deep-fried picture of all of the BFDI contestants plus the logo of the beloved series. Two looked at the object in Four’s hand with a confused expression. Is this all Four had to offer? Two was still skeptical. They knew Four better than him just having a photo in his pocket to offer to the winner.
“What’s that? We just don’t care anymore. BFDIs are so last year.” A ruby replied, while Two internally fist-pumped.
Four gasped at the gem’s remark. “Well, I didn’t want to have to do this, but what if we upgraded to… a BFB?” And with that, the integer pulled a repeating mirrored rectangle out of his private inventory and smiled just as smugly as Two did. It looked like it was videotaping? Odd.
The ruby from before gasped, before running over to the now enlarged rectangle and putting her tongue on it. “Mmm! So tasty!” She exclaimed. Two cringed at this, they thought it was absolutely revolting to put such a dirty body part on the grand prize.
“Ruby, step aside. I know how you’re really supposed to use these things.” A lime gelatin intercepted, pushing Ruby out of the way. And with a quick check of the strange object in front of them, they began to engage in some pitiful beatboxing, dragging more contestants surprisingly back over to Four’s side.
The voice of an electric fan rang out above all the rest. “Wait! Everybody stop! I hate this! When I voluntarily joined this competition, I joined with the intention of winning a BFDI. Now, that BFDI has been replaced! This BFDI is being denied from not just me, but everyone! This is an outrage! I hate this!”
Two was startled by the yelling, turning in the direction of the blue-handled object. They did have a point, though, it was a huge letdown to just change the prize of an otherwise epic in the middle of an argument to win people over. Two saw some of the ex-contestants walk over to stand by Two’s side, grumbling and complaining between themselves.
Set in their perch, Two examined more and more of Four’s contestants abandoning their previous host to battle for Two’s powers. Kicking up soot and ash as they left the one they were so loyal to just a couple of sparing minutes ago. It filled Two with a new emotion they couldn’t recognize: that of being powerful… and the hungriness for it.
They watched as Four began to stumble and fall into a seemingly endless hole of depression as he banished his co host, the variable, from his side, declaring that they’d switch to Two’s show like the rest. What a futile number, Two thought to themself as the lemon-colored variant inched over to their side, as Four pointed violently at Two’s jade complexion.
Even though Four was being supported by the few he had left, 14 loyalists, to be exact, he wasn’t having any of it. He seemed to be internally drained of any charisma, any emotion at all at this moment. As Two marched over toward Four, they could see his expression turn from a look of depression to one of pure rage. Two pushed back a feeling deep inside the folds of their mind and let the intoxication of having power over the one who wronged them completely envelope their being.
“I’m glad the 40 of you have made the wise decision of instead battling for…”
And with a large hand gesture, they held up a piece sign,
“The Power of Two!”
“Don’t rub it in, BFB be better.” The cross number beside them responded.
Ignoring it, Two continued. “So, has everyone made their final decision?”
It wasn’t a second after before a golden cube hollered for a pause. Speed walking to a point between the two groups, they snatched a diary out of an unglazed donut’s nonexistant fingertips. “I need some new reading material!” They said, unshameful of their actions.
Two was a little impatient at this point. They wanted to get Four out of their sight and out of their mind. “Ok, now has everyone made their final decision?!” They snapped angrily.
And with a cheer in unison, the places were set. Two searched with haste in their private inventory for anything that could possibly get Four away and out of their mind, and out of reach of being harmed. Four was quite the strong number. Finding an orange button with a grayish background, they settled on it being a good enough option before starting the next announcement.
“Awesome! Then, because we can’t have two competitions in the same place, Four’s crew, you’re gonna have to go.” And with a click of a button and a red flash of light, the loyalists and their director were gone to another expanse of Planet Goiky.
“They’re gone?” Two said, squinting in the direction of the light receding into nothingness.
“It appears so.” A TV choppily blurted out. They used clips from previous episodes to create their sentences, which Two found very unique.
“Finally!” Two exclaimed, throwing their hands up in relief, “Now, are the 40 of you ready to battle for limitless power?”
With another quick cheer in unison, everything seemed to be going exactly as planned. An old show partially demolished, a fresh new leaf being turned over, with Two, all powerful, being the ringmaster of it all. Two was high on ecstasy, they had only been home for an hour or two and they had already created permanent changes!
A group going under the radar of Two and their crew stole the spotlight. “Hey! What about us?” They interjected, “We want limitless power too!”
Two groaned at the sudden disturbance. “But there’s so many of you!”
As the contestants pleaded for Two to reconsider, the soon-to-be-host chewed on their options with great care. If they did let only a couple join, it would make up for the lost contestants still devoted to that blue menace, wouldn’t it? It was an interesting turn of events Two was willing to take.
Two scoffed before replying to the needy characters. “Fiiine. But, I’ll only allow one of you!”
“Let’s let the voters decide!” A poorly drawn face added.
Two gasped excitedly at the idea. Voters, just like in the hit show, BFDI! “Viewers! Help us pick the character who will join our show! Here they are…”
Walking toward the newly formed hotel, completely exhausted from the whirlwind of events that occurred that day, they let themself put their swagger on the back burner. Reaching the top floor of the building using a conveniently placed elevator, they claimed the second to last door to the left and fell with a thud onto their fresh mattress. They stared up at the blank, undecorated salmon ceiling and replayed the scenes of them and Four in their head.
Were they being too cruel on the poor number? It was worse enough to have your dream position stolen from you, but on live television? How absolutely humiliating. Thinking about the course of which they took, Two felt a tear fall down their face. The first in a day or so stained their once pompous facade and seeped through, deep down to a hole of regret where their heart would have been.
Why were they so upset? It was too early to have remorse, wasn’t it?
Wasn’t it their fault to begin with?
The intrusive thoughts poking at the seams of their body and mind were too much for them to handle. They curled up into a small ball on the clean carpet and began weeping…
Just as they had done 3 years ago.
FIN
Thank you all for all the support you've given me on this fanfiction. This was a huge project for me, and finishing it made me tear up from happiness. It's finally standing in it's finest hour, finally completed to a T. I know I couldn't post this on a big site like AO3 or Wattpad, but thank you to all of the reads, whether that be friends or random individuals on the internet! I hope you enjoyed The Root And Its Square. BACK
