Oggdo Bogdo Bash
Kon was on planet Vilconga, investigating Sith activity. He had been tipped off that there was a Sith engaging in monetary dealings, and planned to intercept them.
Blackened steel buildings lined the streets of Vilconga Post, and Kon was following a figure dressed in all black armor as he carried a briefcase along the street. Kon hopped from building top to building top, trailing the possible Sith. The streets were poorly lit, and rain poured down from the black skies.
Occasionally, the armored man would turn around to stare off into the buildings, before facing the way he was currently going and resuming his path. Kon would slow down, hiding himself from view, before continuing to follow him.
This happened several times.
As Kon continued to follow the armored being, he had no doubt that he was a Sith, but a weak one. Why else would he continue to look in Kon's direction if he wasn't getting a feeling of danger he was unable to place from the Force?
After some time of walking, the armored Sith turned around and spoke in a deep, gruff voice. (He sounds like John DiMaggio)
"HEY! STOP FOLLOWING ME!"
Kon was confused. He did know? For how long? Did he just suspect something and did he guess right?
"YEAH, I SEE YOU! ON GLORPO'S SPACE KEBAB STAND!"
Kon was convinced. The man was a Force User, and likely a Sith. He dropped down from the building, and faced the Sith from several feet away.
"I... am Darth Smolg."
As Kon sensed the Sith ignite his lightsaber, he readied his. He had a feeling that something horrible was about to happen. He considered making a run, but he decided to see at least what the Dark Lord would do next. It felt like an eternity, as Darth Smolg merely watched the Jedi, both waiting for the next to make their move. Raindrops fell around them, the sound of them hitting the floor and buildings that made up their arena.
"...You DO realize that this is your cue to run, right?"
Kon was confused. Why would the Sith give him a chance to run? It must be a bluff! The Sith obviously isn't confident enough in his abilities. He realizes that he will be struck dead! This Sith has met his match!
The Sith just shook his head as he saw the readiness on the Jedi's face.
"I guess not."
Kon watched as the Sith clicked a button on his rest, and with his precognition he realized he would summon reinforcements. He attempted a Force Push, but the Sith merely held his ground with a Barrier. He ran, realizing that now would ACTUALLY be a good time to do so, due to unsureness of what the reinforcements would be. He ran up the nearest building, cutting the large blinking sign off the side to create a diversion, it bursting into sparks and flames when it hit the street. As he scaled the building, he realized something terrible waited at the top. He could tell that the Sith readied his gun behind him, and as Kon felt terrible things emerging from all sides, he knew that he must bypass the horror on top of the building, to leave as soon as possible. Just before he reached the top of the building, he got a good look of what the being looked like with his Force Sense:
Four legs.
A rugged hide.
An odd mechanism mounted on its back.
He readied his plan as he prepared to go past the beast. He would dash around, gutting it with his lightsaber and leaving all of this behind. He 'saw' his plan in action with his precognition, and it seemed feasible. His lightsaber slid against it, and he was long past the frog-beast. This would be his chance.
As he flipped across the railing, right ontop of the building, he sprung with as much speed he could muster and sliced across the amphibian with his lightsaber, running past it as it screeched, leaping off the building onto the lower ones below.
As he examined his surroundings with his Force Sense once again, he realized he was in grave danger.
More of the frog-beasts with mounted mechanisms surrounded him, and the one he just sliced did not seem to be in particularly bad condition. In fact, it seemed enraged.
All ontop of the building he was on, 9 frog-beasts surrounded Kon.
The Oggdo Bogdo.
Kon took a defensive stance as the mechanisms ontop of the frogs' backs extended barrels. They were guns.
"Set 'Firepower' to minimum."
Darth Smolg himself emerged on top of the building, and he examined the Oggdo Bogdo that Kon cut extensively.
Thoughts raced through Kon's mind.
Why did the Sith Lord set 'Firepower' to minimum? What did he mean?
"Hmmph."
Kon still remained in his defensive stance, listening to the Sith grunt.
"You sliced Wae'dtz."
"...?"
The Sith turned to Kon, and the Jedi could tell that behind the Sith's mask, he was brimming with fury.
"You SLICED my Oggdo Bogdo. I was going to let you go, but you're the one who wanted this."
Kon shifted, and every Oggdo Bogdo surrounding him took a stance as well.
Kon waited in his response.
"...Alright. I'm gonna let Wae'dtz decide what we do."
Kon focused on the amphibian directly in front of him.
SQUEAK!
"You heard him, boys! 'Firepower' is already at minimum! Teach this loser a LESSON!"
Kon was confused. This Dark Side User seemed to able to understand the animal? Isn't that a Light Side ability?
Of course, he didn't have much time to be confused as he was assaulted by blasterfire, amphibian muscle, and the opposite end of a rifle.
Kon came to, tied to a chair.
"...Oh, you're awake. Well, you didn't break the skin, so I'm gonna let you keep your stuff. I mean, it wasn't up to me! Wae'dtz is the honorable type. I wanted to take your lightsaber, but he insisted you get to keep everything. He's a bit upset we jumped you. I'm not gonna hear the end of that anytime soon."
Kon didn't speak. He just sensed. He couldn't move; he was in really tight bindings. They seemed organic.
Then he realized he couldn't do much at all.
"Oh, don't think about doing anything funny! I got you drugged with Vilcongan Spider Venom! You can't do anything! It won't last long, though. Just long enough for me to leave. Heh. And do this."
Kon felt his surroundings, and he realized that they were right next to his ship.
Smolg took out a small sharp object and a spray can.
Kon mostly heard giggling as the Sith Lord defaced his ship.
Vulgar things were written, such as 'SMOLG IS MY FORCE DADDY' and 'OGGDO BOGDO RULE'.
Several penile shapes were drawn.
His ship's paint gained a few scratches in it.
"Bet you'll think twice about being a jerk now, huh? Asshole. I was dropping off charity credits to the local orphanage, too. Y'know, you Jedi really are something nasty! Just because I subscribe to the Sith idealology of passion and love, you people are always breathing down my neck! I ejected that damn holocron I stole out of an airlock ages ago! Even if I still have that Star Destroyer... nah, that doesn't matter! Leave me alone! I need a drink."
Smolg was long gone before Kon heard most of that, walking as he talked.
The last thing Kon heard was 'I subscribe to the Sith idealology.'
As Kon's paralysis wore off dozens of minutes later, he checked his ship and belongings. He realized that everything was actually in place, and the paint rubbed off pretty easily. In fact, Kon had gained something. A whoopie cushion, placed on his seat.