Modern Day Clover Guild

>Be me. Isekai’d into PMD as a Vaporeon.
>Excited to live a life filled with adventure and exploration.
>Find out so much time passed between the games and Clover that we’re stuck in a post-industrial world.
>Clover is an office in Capim Town that sells wood-related products from Grass to all over the world.
>Forced to get a job. Now part of the Pokemon Relations department.

>Be me. Monday morning.
>Walk into the office. Greeted by Enny, the receptionist, who insisted that receptionists need to wear dresses. He, of course, tries to hit on me.
>Sidestep that and run into Lliam, the office manager who offloads paperwork to his subordinates. He, of course, tries to hit on me.
>Before I can make it to my desk, I have to remind Cynadquil, who is in charge of customer relations, that he can’t flirt with customers since it’s bad for business and we’re teetering on the edge of bankruptcy. He, of course, tries to hit on me.
>See Serpes and Mustel are too busy chit-chatting to bother me.
>Breathe a sigh of relief after I make it through the homosexual office gauntlet and walk to my cubicle.
>Try to ignore Gus in the corner making a noose out of rope. There are some things even Bill can’t help with.

>Be me. One hour into work. Have to deal with my fellow cubicle neighbors, Chespin and Cider, arguing for the 100th time about what is “cozy” and “comfy.”
>Try to drown out their arguing by trying to review previous complaints. Open up my first fire-types folder.
>From Dav, sales: KFC keeps giving me side-eye and it’s getting really uncomfortable.
>From Jung, warehouse: Le no offense, but le Torchic does not do work, using the excuse of “I have no le hands.” I do not like humons appropriating my proud Sceptile culture.
>From Ronnie, cafeteria: I deserve rights. I’m not a stove and I shouldn’t take this abuse from our cook.
>From Sierra, customer relations: Adrian keeps cursing at customers and it’s driving down sales.
>Write these all off as unaddressable; corporate thinks being human is a disability so they all have protections, KFC “has connections” and literally no one cares about Ronnie.
>Open the second fire-type folder. It’s all Cyndaquil.
>Fuckin’ cinders.

>Be me. Lunch break. Almost on queue, Tropius’ head appears over my cubicle. Talks about Rain asking him for bananas again.
>Remind him that making a request doesn’t constitute harassment so long as Rain says “please.”
>Nida enters. Complains about Makky’s Sand-continent buffet and the smell. Tell her she needs to “accept and appreciate different cultures.” She tries to leave but I stop her from stealing my stapler.
>About to eat a berry sandwich. Interrupted by Phanpy who tells me “Prith is proselytizing again.”
>Can’t do anything since he’d kill me.
>Finally about to eat my lunch. Sneasel and Booker come over. Tell me that Althi is harassing them and saying “that humon-native and dark-type-any-type relationships are an affront to nature.”
>Shrug and say official government policy is that humans shouldn’t exist, can’t help you there.
>Take a single bite of my berry sandwich. Toge interrupts and says that a dewott is stalking him outside.
>Look out my window. See a guy wreathed in a cloak standing in a storm menacingly.
>”Not my department, good luck with that.”

>Escape my cubicle with my half eaten sandwich before I can get interrupted by Shelby complaining about not being recognized as “cutest in the office.” Make my way to R&D since that’s where I’ll find some peace and quiet.
>Have to step over a neon green line of paint and a drunken totodile.
>Finally make it. Of course I’m proven wrong about finding peace and quiet. Ikarus is busy setting up an experiment with his new labmates, Nick and Alphonse.
>He was pissed when I said we “can’t have the manifestation of sins in the office since it’d be bad for business.”
>Nick was chosen since he can resist fire. Alphonse was chosen since he can teleport away from danger. Both give me a look that says this is going to be relevant today.
>See Ikarus making a powder and applying it to Fern, who looks depressed but says nothing.
>"Ikarus is this going to cause Fern to explode?”
>”Do you doubt my capabilities? I am the finest alchemist trained in the royal court of Caphelon, the best in the whole of Capim…”
>Ignore him as he drones on. Walk back towards Alphonse and Nick who take shelter.
>Seconds later, Fern explodes. My sandwich is caught in the disaster.
>Go back to my office with more paperwork to fill out.

>Be me. Made it back just in time to get mail from Linoone, the only humon smart enough to get a job elsewhere.
>Get jealous when I see in his mailbag a love letter to Cory that’s not from me. Third one this month.
>Exchange pleasantries and bid farewells.
>He coolly says "I drive" as he hops into his mail truck.
>Immediately crashes into a lamppost.
>Open the letter. Clover is closing down.
>Feel a tear run down my cheek now that this is all over.

>Be me. 2 months later. The nightmare is still going, just had a new boss since we were bought out after bankruptcy.
>I say had since I’m dealing with paperwork since KFC killed the new office manager, a Rillaboom called “Lilith.” He took one look at her and once he heard her name he flew into a frenzy, I don’t know why.
>Pissed because I had to put on hold the applications for the incoming Flygon, Togedemaru, and Druddigon.
>Read the memo sent from the new corporate HQ, some lame Alakazam and Chatot. It says the schizo Gible is their top contender “since he wears a tie.”
>Melt myself on the spot.