꒰     ⸺     Mari's   Diary   ! ▷⠀Labels

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ Entry 1 ᯓ Aug. 5th .ᐟ

₍^. .^₎⟆ ,. My bff helped me figure out some things with rentry ! I now have a cool new setup , with some settings I don't understand that well yet but that's okay !! I'm just very happy that she could help me with this ! I feel bad for asking over and over again for help with this though . I hope I didn't annoy Ari by doing that .. eheeh .. but hopefully I'll learn how to do all of this on my own soon ! I found some symbols I can use to add more personality to my diary ! Today I'm using this cat symbol , It's reaallyy cute and It reminds me of Mewo ! Speaking of Mewo , I found out I'd like to go by the name Mari today ! I've always thought Mari was a cute name , I never once thought that I'd want to go by Mari ! That's not a bad thing though , I do think that name fits me in a way ., I want Mari to be one of my main names , since I do also go by Michael ! I've started thinking that Michael should be my second name though since it doesn't fit me as much as it did anymore .. I still love the name though ! I'll have to think on it more , I don't want to make a decison that'll be awkard to turn back on ! I'm thrilled to have gotten help setting all of this up , since I'm not the best at coding .. eheeh ., That's all from me for today , thank you Ari ! Add on , I just ate ice cream that looked like fried chicken ! It was really good ,, It was chocolate and had nuts on it ! I said that that ice cream would be the only ice cream I'd eat with any type of nuts on it and my brother started LAUGHING ! Speaking of my brother , Happy birthday to my older brother !! I'm signing off now ,, I'll be around whenever you need me ! 𝜗ৎ

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ Entry 2 ᯓ Aug. 6th .ᐟ

𝄞 ,. Hi diary ,, I just woke up not too long ago but I do have some things I want to share !, As you may already know ,, yesterday was my brothers birthday ,, and for his birthday dinner we had steak !, It was really good ,, I absolutely love steak !, I also got to play Minecraft with one of my friends yesterday ,, though it wasn't easy since I had to play on my phone .. eheeh .., but at least I got to play !, School is starting soon and I'm kind of nervous .. I'm going into 11th grade ,, which is pretty scary since the work could get harder this year ., I'm not too excited since I'll have a lot more to do ,, but I know I'll get through it just like how I did with the other two school years !, I get to pack my lunch this year ,, since I had some trouble with the school lunch last year ,, and I have this cute little lunch box with cherries on it !, I have heard that there is a new policy where you won't be aloud to have your phone ,, which that is understandable since it's school ,, but I don't know if they are just going to have us keep our phones in our lockers or put them in a yonder pouch ., I really hope they just have us put our phones in our lockers .. I don't trust myself to not forget my phone and I had seen those yonder pouches being broken into so students could get their phones ., I wouldn't mind the yonder pouch if we could put them in our lockers ,, but I have my doubts that they'll let us do that .., I do really hope they just tell us to put them in our lockers ., I'm really excited for the holidays to happen though !, With school starting up soon ,, the holidays are getting closer ,, which mean my favorite holiday is getting closer too !, I adore Halloween with all my heart ,, I don't know where my love for Halloween came from but I don't mind at all !, I love dressing up ,, getting candy ,, and of course watching The Nightmare before Christmas !, That's my favorite movie ,, I've made watching that movie a Halloween tradition !, However ,, me and my best friend Ari are different when it comes to our favorite holidays ., While I love Halloween ,, she loves Christmas ,, actually she loves winter in total ., She was born in December ,, how cool is that ?, I think being born in the same month as your favorite holiday is amazing ,, but sadly this also leaves some trouble for her .. eheeh ., Since her birthday is close to Christmas ,, it could throw some things off ,, but luckily her family knows how to handle that !, I went on a ramble about holidays forgetting we still have a few months .. oops !, I am somewhat ready for school ,, I'm just hoping all goes well this year !, I'm done rambling ,, bye bye !, I'll be around whenever you need me ! 𝜗ৎ

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ Entry 3 ᯓ Aug. 7th .ᐟ

𓏲ּ𝄢 ,. Hey diary ,, this might be a long entry today ,. School is getting closer and if I'm being honest ,, I wish it wasn't ., I know a lot of people say that ,, but I honestly don't want to deal with this school year ., I don't want to even think about this upcoming school year ,, but with it being so close I have no other choice ., See ,, last school year I had put my trust into a friend with something personal ,, and instead of keeping it to herself she told the schools gossiper or whatever it's called ., I only found out after I had gotten back from school after a field trip ,, I realized that she had waited until I wasn't going to be at lunch to share the one thing I trusted her with ., I honestly don't want to go to that school ,, I don't want to see her ., I wanted to talk to her about it but she kept avoiding me ,, I'm honestly not surprised since that isn't the first time she avoided someone when drama was going on ., It still bugs me even though it's been a few months .. I don't usually share things about myself because I'm afraid someone would judge me or share that information with others ,, and that situation proved my point ., I don't like opening up because of situations like this ,, I have this huge fear of my personal feelings or information getting out into the public ,, even though I only shared it with one person ., I honestly just can't trust to tell anyone because of how many times I've been judged for feeling human emotions ., I do trust my friends ,, it's just I can't bring myself to open up about anything most of the time ., That whole situation with my now ex - friend only made that worse ., That's why I really don't want to go back ., I would be surprised if my ex - friend tried to talk to me this year ,, after she avoided me for the rest of last year ., She knew at the time that I was upset with her and she did nothing to make it right ., This school year is not going to be all that great when I have that memory with me ., I know that drama dies down and people move on ,, but it still bugs me that she even told anyone in the first place ., Anyways ,, I really don't want to talk about her anymore ., I just hope I can get through this school year quickly ., That's all from me ,, I'll be around whenever you need me ., 𝜗ৎ

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ Entry 4 ᯓ Aug. 8th .ᐟ

♡ ., Bleeghh .. I feel terrible ., I honestly don't know why ,, if I did I'd probably share ., It's not the first time I've felt like this though ,, I just wish I knew why this time ., I honestly do want to talk to someone about it ,, but like I stated in my last entry ,, I simply can't ., I don't really want to worry anyone ,, it's something I try my hardest not to do ., I don't like the attention being on me ,, at least not for this reason ., I don't understand why I'm like this ,, I start feeling bad but I refuse to open up ?? That just seems weird to me ., I don't know .. I guess I'll do what I always do ,, I'll just wait it out ., Short entry today ,, I know ,, but I really don't have much to say ., I'll be around whenever you need me ., 𝜗ৎ

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ Entry 5 ᯓ Aug. 9th .ᐟ

⟡ ., WHAT IS UP DIARY ! I just got a new alarm for school .. HEH .. It's actually one of Omori's Ost's ., I am SUPER jolly today holy moly ,, I woke up and then BOOM I was hit with a wave of jolliness ., I guess I'm just happy to be happy I dunno ,, but hey I meaann I'm not complaining !, I still am not ready for school but hey ,, at least I'm getting new folders I can decorate head to toe in Omori stickers with ., I know they are for school but likeee .., I can always use them after school is over if they don't get completely destroyed this year like how my folders did last year !, I dunno ,, anyways I'm hungry I'm going to go eat ., That's all from me ,, I'll be around whenever you need me ! 𝜗ৎ

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ Entry 6 ᯓ Aug. 10th .ᐟ

࣪ ִֶָ☾. ., What is up diary !! I just got back from the store ,, had to get food for lunch since school starts Wednesday ,, I got some FIRE food ! I also got some strawberry powedered donuts since I love my sweets .. heh .. I actually have never tried them before so ,, I'm kinda excited ! One of my friends is at school today .. I hope today is going well for them ,, they aren't a free man anymore .. gulp .., Okay but if I'm being for real ,, I am bored and I do want SOMETHING to do for the next few months ,, so I GUESS it's not ALL bad ., I honestly just wanna do something so I don't do the same thing every SINGLE day ,, it gets boring ., Anyways ,, I'm done ,, I'll write tomorrow ., See ya ,, I'll be around whenever you need me ! 𝜗ৎ

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ Entry 7 ᯓ Aug. 11th .ᐟ

✦ ., Hello hi diary ,, today is my last day of summer break and I am not ready for school ., I'm getting everything ready and set up but boy oh boy I do not want to deal with people tomorrow ., I've also been pretty sleepy today ,, it's probably been because it's been storming ever since I woke up ., I don't know ,, I don't have a lot to write about so I guess that's it for today ., I'll write more tomorrow ,, I'll be around whenever you need me ! 𝜗ৎ

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ Entry 8 ᯓ Aug. 12th .ᐟ

ᯓ★ ., Hey diary ,, I found out today that my ex best friend is in my second period class .. yaaayy .., She sits right in front of me ,, which I do not like AT ALL ,, and I know she knows that she was and will always be in the wrong for what she did ., I'm so tired of seeing her already and it hasn't even been a week ,, I genuinely don't know why she has to be in my second period ., I find it odd that I have a class with her when we aren't friends anymore ,, but when we are friends I rarely see her ,, It's strange how I can never seem to get away from her ., I had thought I wouldn't have a class with her since the last time we had a class together was when we were in 8th grade ,, but I guess I was wrong ., I genuinely do hate her guts ,, I gave her a second chance and she used that second chance to harm me ., I honestly don't know how long it'll be before she starts something ,, because I try my hardest to move on from these situations ,, she doesn't ., I don't want to deal with someone who clearly only cares about getting their own way ., I know she only wants her own way because she constantly avoids people who she started drama with until she's ready to talk about it ., I hope I can get through this school year without her bothering me ,, I just want a peaceful school year for once ., On the bright side ,, today wasn't the worst ,, I like all the classes I have ! I'm getting tired of writing ,, so that's it for today ! Bye bye ,, I'll be around whenever you need me ! 𝜗ৎ

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ Entry 9 ᯓ Aug. 14th .ᐟ

಄ ., HELLO HEY DIARY !! I didn't write yesterdays entry ,, SUE ME ., Anyways ,, It's Friday night ,, which means IT'S THE WEEKEND !!! I went to a few stores yesterday and got myself a plushie I've been wanting for MONTHS ,, I've also been working on a keychain and a few stickers that I can make in my first period class because I'm just that goated .. heh .., but I hope I can get all that done in time before we start doing a lot more stuff that'll take up most of my time ., I mean ,, it's not like I'll be drawing in class ,, but still i don't want to be working on all that way into like December ., Anyways ,, I like my classes this year EXCEPT I do have ONE complaint .. I have to sit behind somebody I DESPISE in my second period and I kid you not I am HEAVILY annoyed that I even have to be NEAR that person ., They did me dirty so I HAVE A RIGHT TO HATE THEM ., I genuinely HATE sitting behind them and I wish I could just force them to the back of the classroom or something ,, but I can't ., ANYWAYYSSS ,, I honestly have nothing much I wanna say right now ,, so that's all for today ., Bye bye ,, I'll be around whenever you need me ! 𝜗ৎ

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ Entry 10 ᯓ Aug. 23rd .ᐟ

❤︎ ., It's been a hot minute ., I genuinely feel like I have nobody on my side ,, I've came to realize that I might have only not even a small handful of friends ., I lost many friends ,, I honestly feel like it's all my fault ., I feel like I'm going backwards in time ,, back to Elementary when I had no friends at all ., It hurts ,, all I ever wanted was to have people who genuinely cared about me ., I feel like everything I do just burdens the people around me ., I feel like the worst person on the planet .., I just don't understand what I've been doing wrong all these years ., I don't get why nobody ever gave me a chance when I needed it ,, was it because I was too emotional ?? Did they ignore me and make fun of me because they knew I'd cry ?? I wish I knew why they didn't like me ., I'm honestly just so tired .., I don't know what to do anymore ., I feel so unseen ,, I've always felt unseen ., I don't want to write anymore ,, that's all from me ., I'll be around whenever you need me ., 𝜗ৎ

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ Entry 11 ᯓ Oct. 11th .ᐟ

𑣲 ., I really do hate myself ., Everything i do disgusts me ,, why can't i do anything right ?., I just want someone to notice .., i just want someone to ACTUALLY care about me ., No ,, i will not believe you if you say "i love you!" I NEED PROOF ., I have NEVER believed anyone when they said that to me ,, i don't think i ever will ., Please don't lie to me ., I always second guess if someone ACTUALLY cares about me or if they just feel pitty for me because i'm so alone ., I always lie to everyone about how i feel because i don't trust anyone ,, i don't know why i can't but whatever ., Just do me one favor ,, please don't let me get attached ., I'll be around whenever you need me ., 𝜗ৎ