Mister Gible's Marvelous Misadventures: A Certain Fruit Can Drive a 'Mon Insane
"Ever thought about how weird the money is in this world?"
"No, why would I?"
"You see," Mr. Gible slightly leaned back on his seat and tugged at the knot of his tie, "I'm pretty sure you've noticed the way it appears in dungeons from pokey-mon that turn into that weird smoke, right?"
"A-ha."
"Well then, where do they have it stored? Why does it look like it pops out of thin air, huh?" he questioned, slamming both hands on the table in front of him, "Furthermore, how do pokey-mon value it? How do they manage things like pricing, huh? Did everyone collectively agree on the values of the coins or is it mandated by someone else?" he brought one of his paws under his mouth, "There has to be a bank somewhere, regulating the currency and putting it inside the dungeons—or something by the likes—just to promote dungeoneering. But if that's the case, what prevents someone from going in and out of a dungeon and getting rich?"
"I don't know, maybe hunger? Or the risk of losing your life? Those sound like bad enough risks to take," the pink snake sitting across him replied.
"Rich?" Noodle curiously added.
Mr. Gible loudly cleared his throat to silence his partners before continuing, "What about inflation? If money keeps coming out of dungeons forever it will inevitably devaluate, right? Do these things even know what inflation is? They certainly do know what taxes are!" He suddenly leaned towards his teammates, "Someone or something has to be pumping out these coins, you know? They can't just pop into existence out of nowhere!" he stopped for a few seconds after saying that, seemingly rethinking the words he just said before continuing like nothing happened, "And I'm pretty sure that whatever that thing is, it's also what brought us here," he took a deep breath, "We need to KILL it! And we'll go back, and ruin the economy!" he yelled, getting a few awkward glances from the other teams in the mess hall.
"That's retarded," Hans stated with a frown.
"You're retarded," Mr. Gible quickly retorted.
The dragonair sighed in response, "Are you done yet? Stuff your mouth with fruits so we can get going already, retard."
"I hate apples. I'm getting really tired of berries too, can't we have some real food already?" the gible complained while reluctantly taking a bite out of one of the few apples in front of him.
"Ask Beast for that," Noodle commented with a grin.
"I think he knows I've been inside his kitchen recently. I won't come anywhere near that guy."
"Well then finish up already. I'll go pick a mission in the meantime," the floragato said, getting up and walking towards the job board near the guild's door.
"Psst!" Mr. Gible caught Hans' attention and leaned over again, getting close to his face, "I think something weird is up with her, don't you think?" he whispered.
Hans listened closely while his eyes darted towards Noodle, who he could still see from his spot, "Yeah, I've noticed. I'll tell you later about a very weird thing that happened last night."
"Last night? I think I know what you're talking—"
"You haven't finished yet?" Noodle interrupted with an annoyed scowl, having come back much quickly than they thought.
Mr. Gible looked up at her and took the apple in his paws, "You know, I'm not really hungry right now, could you save it for later? Just in case!" he handed it over while grinning.
She tilted her head, wondering why would he want to save a half-eaten apple, "...Sure," Noodle grabbed the apple and put it in her bag, "Anyway, I thought this request looked good," she said, showing it to her partners.
"Oran Forest again?" Hans asked, "Aren't you getting tired of that place?"
"Yeah, I'm bored of punching little slugs in the face and collecting mundane things, we should go somewhere else," Mr. Gible got up and beckoned his partners to follow, "Why don't we pick one between all of us?"
Noodle's shoulders slumped as she walked back over to the job board, going to a different location would mean doing even more work than usual, something she wasn't too fond of.
The blue dragon idly stared at the many different requests posted in the bulletin board—though he couldn't see the ones that hanged higher up due to his height. Once his partners arrived, he turned around while pointing at a particular request, "How about this one? Rescue mission at Mount Bristle!"
"Too far," Noodle crossed her arms in disapproval.
Mr. Gible frowned in frustration before facing the board again, "Lets see then, Amp Plains, Lush Prairie, Waterfall Cave..." he tapped a finger under his wide maw while mumbling out the location of some requests, "I should've looked at Macom's maps more than once, would know where all these places are."
"Why not this one?" The pink snake grinned and pointed with his head at a paper in front of him, "Apple Woods!" he added with a chuckle.
"Yet another item retrieval in a fruit forest—the worst kind of fruit at that," Mr. Gible said, dismissing it and looking through the rest of the posts.
"But it is a change of environment, and it's quite far from Oran Forest," Noodle lied, "We're not good enough to go to other dungeons anyway, Apple Woods should be fine for us."
The gible glared back at his teammates with a disdainful look, "Fine..." he said reluctantly, "We'll go, but you," he pointed at Hans, "Have to be useful this time, can't have you doing nothing."
"And what do you suggest, smartass? I'm not doing the beam thing again."
"I'm thinking about bag duty, Noodle does enough already."
"Wouldn't that be putting more weight on her arms anyway?" Hans asked before looking at himself, "and any bag would just slide over while I'm moving..."
"You could try moving by yourself for once, like a big boy," he said with a smirk before walking towards the main doors, "And you have that... Ball under your head, I'm pretty sure that will keep it in place."
Once they forced Hans to wear the bag around himself, the team set out for another adventure, though they were more of a routine lately. Noodle and Mr. Gible walked side by side while Hans was tugged by his partner's vine. They traveled in relative silence, casually chatting about everyday things that happened inside the guild and their dungeoneering plans. The dragonair always took advantage of these moments to appreciate the scenery, he admired the seemingly endless green plains and clear skies, it almost made him forget the body he was stuck in.
On the other hand, Mr. Gible grew increasingly suspicious of this mission—he had recognized the road they had trekked many times to get to Oran Forest, a place he could already see in the distance, "I thought our destination was different this time, Noodle."
"It just happens to follow the same path we always take," she replied, holding back a giggle.
Moments later, they walked past the former dungeon and into their new objective, Apple Woods... Or what was left of it.
"It's all burnt down," Hans stated the obvious, looking rather surprised.
"What's even worse is that it's right next to that stupid dungeon," Mr. Gible scowled, his eyes narrowed, "You fucks, stop taking me for a fool!" his protest was quickly answered by laughs.
Once inside the dungeon, the group cautiously walked a few steps while taking in their surroundings. Trees seemed to infinitely stretch on all directions, most of them half-burnt, with a charcoal color adorning their cups. Apples laid on the ash-covered ground, though most of them were also burnt to their core, making them useless for their mission.
"Dirt and rocks already feel bad enough, but ash is much worse than both," Hans commented in disgust, feeling the dust stick to his scales.
"That's what you get for lying like that, fag," Mr. Gible jabbed at his teammate while smirking, he turned to look at him and noticed the trail his body had left on the ground, "That... Might actually be pretty useful, good job," he added, sounding uncharacteristically honest.
After wandering for a few long minutes, the team grew tired and started thinking that whoever posted the request was trying to get a laugh out of anyone dumb enough to pick it. None of the apples were in a good enough condition to deliver and the wild pokemon in this dungeon were considerably tougher than the ones in the neighboring forest, which quickly weared them down.
A groan rang in Mr. Gible's belly after he turned a Herdier into smoke with a few punches and bites. He faced their teammates, who were a few feet away, and walked towards them, "Hey you, still got that apple I gave you before?"
Noodle knelt and rummaged through the bag carried by Hans, pulling out the half-eaten apple and offering it to the gible in a silent response. As he approached, a noise came from under his feet and in a blink, he was gone.
"W-What happened?!" Hans turned to look at the direction his partner was approaching from, only to see footprints that stopped some steps away from him next to a bitten apple.
"He disappeared," Noodle commented.
"What? How?!"
She pointed at the ground next to the half-eaten fruit, "Trap."
After a long moment of realization, the dragonair worriedly looked up at his oddly calm teammate, "T-Then we should go find him, what if he dies?!"
"He'll be fine," Noodle waved a dismissive paw, "We'll come across him again eventually, lets go get those apples."
"What the fuck, what the fuck," Mr. Gible repeated to himself as he paced around the small clearing he had suddenly appeared in, "What is going on?!" he shouted to the air, his question answered by another hungry roar coming from his own body, "Shit!" he cursed once again, realizing that starvation would be his demise if he didn't start moving immediately. And so he did, running deeper into the dungeon in desperate need for food, being lucky enough to not find any hostile pokemon in the way. The further he went, the tastier those burnt apples looked, he was willing to eat what was essentially charcoal and ash if it meant not starving to death. His lucky streak would continue though, as he soon saw a perfect-looking apple standing amidst the dust. His eyes couldn't believe it, it was in such a good condition that it didn't even look real, with ripe green leaves and a red peel that made his mouth water. He bolted towards it, almost tripping over himself in doing so, but managed to reach it.
He hated apples, hated eating them every day, hated the variations in taste and texture they had, and yet, he never wanted to eat one so badly. Mr. Gible took it in his paws and brought it to his mouth, ready to take a big chomp out of it.
"WAAAAAIIT STOPSIRdon'teatme pleasePLEASE!"
Mr. Gible stopped just as his sharp teeth grazed the smooth texture of the apple's peel, he pulled it away in confusion, wondering if he was hallucinating. The dragon had definitely heard a voice just a second ago, even if he couldn't understand a word and didn't know where it came from.
"Thanksfornotdoingthatitwould've beenpainfulfor bothof us!"
There it was again, a squeaky and high-pitched voice coming from somewhere close by. Mr. Gible looked at the apple again and saw one of its leaves move unnaturally, he wondered if this was the origin of that noise, "I-I'm going insane..." he mumbled, feeling his stomach growl loudly again. But he couldn't bring the apple close to his mouth now, his paws were paralyzed.
Mr. Gible laid his back against a tree, staring at the talking apple in his hands, feeling dizzy from the lack of nutrition. Soon after, e heard footsteps approaching from the same direction he came from. He thought a feral was going to eat him, he better faint fast to not feel the pain.
"Gible, there you are!" A familiar voice called out.
"Told you he was still around." His partners arrived as he prepared for a dramatic death.
"Food... Please..." The gible muttered, as if he had been starving for weeks and not just minutes.
Noodle reached into Hans' bag and withdrew the half-eaten apple once again, then quickly handed it over to her partner, "Why didn't you eat the one in your hands?"
"BecauseI'm notareal apple!" The applin in Mr. Gible's hands slurred out before being suddenly hit by a whip of Noodle's yo-yo, which prompted a quick scream, "AIIIIEEEE!!!"
"You... What are you—how did you even get here?!" the feline asked in an abrupt tonal shift, she looked at the living apple with anger and prepared her vine, ready to strike again.
The applin wiggled in fear, its eyes staring at Mr. Gible's open mouth, "Helpmesirthis thingistryingtokillme!" it begged powerlessly, unable to escape Noodle's inminent attack.
Without doubting it for a second, he shoved the entire apple-like pokemon into his mouth, taking a hit of his partner's strike to the side of his face.
"W-What's going on?! Noodle, what happens?!" Hans finally mustered up the courage to interrupt the chaos after the friendly fire "W-What's up with that apple?!"
"None of your business, pink guy," she swung her yo-yo against the tree Mr. Gible leaned on, "Spit it out," she commanded with a stubborn look.
The blue dragon shook his head as drool dripped from his barely open mouth, keeping the pokemon inside safe.
"Noodle, calm down! What's gotten onto you?!" Hans asked, crawling between the distance separating his two partners, "Y-You've never been like this, what is it about that apple?!" he lifted his head—barely above the ground—in a defensive gesture, as if he could do anything to protect Mr. Gible from that position.
Noodle tilted her head after hearing her teammate's words, she let go of her vine and put on a fake smile, "...Nothing," she averted her gaze at a loss for words, "I guess it's too late to do something now," she turned to look at the two dragons once again, "You can spit him out. I won't do anything, promise."
Slowly, almost gently, Mr. Gible took the apple out of his mouth, resisting the urge to bite down on it, and set it down on the ground again. He looked at his teammates with a puzzled expression, wondering what just transpired between them.
"...We got all the apples already, we can go," Noodle turned around and quickly tugged Hans away, following the path left on the ash by the dragonair.
Mr. Gible got up shakily and picked up the living apple once again, who had remained in silence after being stuffed into his mouth.
Once they were outside the dungeon, the group followed the same path they had trailed to get there. Except this time, it was in thick, uncomfortable quietness.
Surprisingly, the applin broke it first, cradled between the gible's paws, "Thanksfor allthatmister," it mumbled out, the words slightly easier to understand.
"I don't even know what happened back there, but..." Mr. Gible looked down at the applin, "You're welcome."
"Yeah, what was all that about, you two know each other?" Hans chimed in, looking up at his partner.
"Maybe."
"...So what was that about?" he repeated.
"None of your business." she replied with an impassive look, slightly picking up the pace of her steps.
Mr. Gible trailed behind, eavesdropping the short conversation between his teammates, "Something's going on here," he told to himself, piecing thoughts together, "You're gonna have to tell me what you know, apple."
"O-O-Okay! justplease stoplookingatmewiththoseteeth!"
It was a day like any other, in a common store with no name, in a town whose name I can't remember. A colorful group of pokemon came in, their eyes wandering over the goods put on display, though their mind was somewhere else. A ponyta moved to stand in front of the counter, where a clefairy patiently waited to serve his first customers on the one day this store wasn't managed by a kecleon—who resignated his duty to his apprentice after contracting a mysterious and sudden illness.
"Hello! How can I help you?" the clefairy innocently asked, watching as a jigglypuff gestured to a pawniard, who helped him get on top of the ponyta.
"Hello good sir, this is a robbery,"
"A-A w-what?!"
"You're getting robbed." Jigglypuff calmly stated, "Now if you could be kind enough to put all the money you have into this bag..." he placed a coin bag in the counter, then reached into it and pulled out a seed, "Otherwise I'll have to make you do it," he threatened.
The cleffa nodded with a gulp, his hands looking for the crate where they kept all of their poke, which was conveniently hidden next to some items for self-defense.
"And don't you try using those blast seeds you keep in there," the jigglypuff spoke again, as if he could read clefairy's mind, "You'll get in even more trouble by doing so, I wouldn't recommend it," a smug smirk drew over his face as he saw the clefairy comply with no hesitation, too scared to try to do anything else.
"H-Here," clefairy placed the crate on the counter, prying it open and revealing a lot less money than the group thought they would get, "t-the boss took most of the savings back home in case something like this happened..."
Jigglypuff watched with a twitching eye as the other pink pokemon moved the coins from the crate into the bag, one by one, counting them all in doing so, "Is that all?" he asked with a frown, "There's only one hundred and sixteen poke!"
"One hundred and sixteen?!" a floragato standing near the door angrily repeated.
"I told you, pink! Those kecleon aren't dumb," the pawniard from before affirmed, "we should've gone to that one inn like I said."
"But you also said that there would be more money in here!" the jigglypuff replied.
"Only if the kecleon didn't do what he did!"
The group started bickering among themselves, completely forgetting about the ongoing robbery. Still, clefairy was too scared to reach for the blast seed under the counter, so he just stared in awe as they discussed.
Outside, an applin rolled through a dirt road on his way to the nameless store. The apple stopped in his tracks once he arrived at the place, as he could hear the group of robbers inside.
"A robbery!" he thought inwardly, having the luxury of being mistaken by a normal apple made him able to spy on them, "I'm too far away from the police station, I won't make it in time before they run away..." the apple boldly rolled into the store, ready to stop the delinquents with his minuscule force.
The ponyta let out a sigh and shook her head in silence, looking at the clefairy before speaking up, "...We'll also take some oran and pecha berries," she stopped for a minute, thinking about the needs of the group, "and some sleep seeds too."
Meanwhile, the jigglypuff immediately noticed a familiar-looking fruit strangely rolling into the store, "What are you doing here?" he asked, glaring at the applin.
"Stop this now! Or else—oh, it's you!" the applin's tone suddenly changed from an attempt of intimidation to friendly casualness, "I didn't know you got up to this kind of stuff, partner!"
The jigglypuff stared down at the interloper, who coincidentally was his own partner, "What are you doing?" he narrowed his eyes at the apple, "You weren't meant to be here."
"So this is why you've been acting so weird lately, my partner is an outlaw!"
"Don't use that word," the jigglypuff turned to the other bipedals of the group, who were still discussing, "You two, good job at being alarms, this idiot snuck right under your noses!" he sighed and turned to the counter again, grabbing the bag with poke and other goods the cleffa had packed.
"Why didn't you tell me about this before? I could've helped you!" the applin managed to ask before being picked up by green paws and stuffed into the bag.
"You talk too much," jigglypuff responded. Ponyta turned to face the door, knowing exactly what was going to happen, "Green, Iron, scram!" the pink pokemon told his companions, who nodded and rushed out of the store, running in opposite directions once they were outside, "And you, my noble steed, gallop on to our freedom!" he shouted enthusiastically. The ponyta sighed and reluctantly complied, galloping away from the store and into the town's outskirts.
"You're lying," Mr. Gible said, standing in the middle of his teams' room, "That story is a load of bullshit," he stated, looking back at the applin that rested on top of a desk.
"Butyoudidn't letme finish!" the apple whined, shifting from side to side on the wood, "Iwasjust getting tothebestpart."
"I've heard enough things to know that you're making it up on the spot."
"I'mnot!" he retorted, the squeaky voice reaching a higher pitch, "It'stotally real!"
"I have no reason to trust you on that," Mr. Gible started pacing around the room, eyes narrowed skeptically, "Anyone can make a believable lie," he came to a stop again, "And drop the speech act, you were speaking normally when telling the story."
"T-That's becauseIwasn't afraid! N-Nowyou're openingyourmouth andshowing methoseteeth!"
The blue dragon sighed, knowing that the other pokemon's antics would keep up the longer this went on, "Anyway, you say that this is how you met Noodle?"
"Youmean Green? Yes," it shifted forwards, as if trying to nod, "Butwenever talkedmuch!
"How do you know it's the same pokemon? Don't they all look alike?" there was no response from the applin, prompting a sigh from the dragon, "Pink, Green, Iron, the pony and you, huh? Those sound like codenames to me."
"...Youmean ponyta?"
Ignoring his question, the gible continued monologuing, "She had quite the reaction to seeing you, you'll have to tell me why..." he glanced at the empty room and the door, "...tomorrow, Hans can only distract her for so long," he laid on his side, facing the desk where the apple trembled in fear.
"S-So you'rejust goingtosleep?" the apple became anxious as sunlight started to drain from the room, "W-Whatifshe killsme whileyou—?!"
"Calm down, apple, I've already gone two full days without sleep. I'll power through another night and keep an eye on you," he reassured the applin nonchalantly, letting out a long and tired yawn.
Minutes later, Hans and Noodle came back from the mess hall, wondering what their partner had been doing all this time and why he didn't eat anything after almost starving to death in a dungeon. The feline pushed open the door and revealed that her partner had already hit the cotton, he snored loudly in deep sleep. The applin looked like it had rolled off the desk and tried to hide behind the furniture, though he was immediately spotted by the duo that had entered.
To be continued.