A Normal Lunch Hour with 1-F
1-F’s lunch hour was dreaded by just about every other class. It wasn’t just the assorted odors that followed them around like poorly-trained chihuahuas, picking fights with everyone’s olfactory senses - it was also the constant barrage of noise. Not satisfied with a low buzzing like the other classes (after all, 1-F managed to replicate that with just Ulmeyda), they were closer to a battlefield. Detached observers chalked this up to two factors - strong personalities, and strong identity. The second came about from having only a handful of students, mostly isolated from the rest of the school. Rather than splitting off into cliques, 1-F was its own clique, forming up into one mega-discussion where speaking louder was the best way to be heard. The first was the presence of, to put it politely, certain strong-minded assholes that could and would argue about anything, loudly, for hours. Combined with the glorified noise machine that was their floating cube, and 1-F’s table was a veritable warzone - it ruined real estate for everyone nearby, caused a massive uproar, and had a tendency to teach passing civilians how to dodge stray rounds.
And of course, when it seemed all was quiet on the Eastern 1-Front and the other classes were enjoying the fruits of peacetime relations, Runt felt the need to drop the proverbial dirty bomb and reignite hostilities.
“I could totally shred the shark dude, haha.”
Hisa recovered from the bombardment first, mostly because she took it as an attack on her ego. “You absolutely could n-wait, Hydra?”
Runt shot her finger guns in reply. “Yea. Even the other Suki could, right?”
Said Other Suki hissed from under the table, retreating away from the attention while clutching her rat. Why Karaburan had let her stick around was a mystery, waving questions away with vagaries about “kindred spirits”, “unbiased educational chances”, and “free pest control”.
“You say that stuff way better than I can.”
Hisa arrived at the skirmish lines, but simply gave Runt an appraising stare, then just slowly shook her head, indicating a full retreat.
Rob took the opportunity to offer some helpful advice. “Please do not fight the shark dude three times your size. We shouldn’t be thinking of how to defeat other educations, anyway.”
“Not what Karaburan would say”, somebody muttered, and the local amphibian population was cunning enough to ensure nobody could trace their hunting cries back to their nests.
“Shark loser can control the inertia of water. That’s actually a really strong quirk,” added Yamashita, more popularly known as Bad Touch, ignorant of both the laws of reality and the glare Hisa was aiming at the back of his head.
Finally, Haiiro rounded out the return volley. “And I’ve heard 1-D is full of delinquents and upperclassmen. He would probably have the experience advantage, since we don’t have either of those.” Several 1-F students suddenly decided the floor and ceiling were extremely interesting. “This Hydra guy would be a pretty tough fight, how would you beat him?”
Runt chuckled, as he unveiled his magnificent strategy onto his classmates. Surely, it would blind them with its genius. “One word - Super. Moves.”
Slimenuts mumbled something, but since it was inaudible through his hazmat suit, everybody ignored him. Instead, honor of the first reply went to Ulmeyda. “That’s pretty dumb.”
“Is not!”
“Is too.”
“Is not!”
“Is too tripled.”
Runt stopped to count on his fingers, letting Umeko slide in a few words. “Like a fighting game finisher?”
“Yea, it’s like the big move that goes ‘whooosh-bam’ and makes all the fans start yelling your attack names in comment sections. I’ve got three, and they’re all real cool.” Then Runt looked back down to his hand, eyes wide, as though he’d just had an epiphany.
“Yeah, those are pretty neat, wish I had one.”
Hisa gave Runt and the salamander a smug smirk, inadvertently showering the rest of 1-F with it as well. “Super moves? Nah, a proper hero should use whatever move is most appropriate. Power attacks, speed attacks, support and defense, the combinations and applications are more important.”
Rob was nodding along, as were a few other students. “I agree. I’ve been working on my versati-”
“Bull.” Umeko replied, almost shoving a pointer finger up Hisa’s nose.
“Eh?”
“Bull. Shit. There’s no way you don’t have some ‘I summon BIGGER SHARK’ thing you’ve named Megalo-dawn or something stupid.”
“W-what? No, I’d never do something like that! Ever!” Hisa looked away, reddening. How’d she guess the name!?
“So predictable…”
Meanwhile, elsewhere around the table, the discussion turned to individual super moves.
“-it’s called Dust Devil and I just reach out and totally explode a guy’s spine.”
“That’s… something.” Yamashita ventured.
Slimenuts fumbled at his suit’s faceplate, making it open just a tad and immediately causing every non-1-F student to recoil a solid five feet. “That’s nothing. I’ll just slime their nuts. Always works.” The faceplate was put back into place with a sloppy chortle, to a mixture of disgust and relief.
“-so all of the dust becomes a dust bunny-”
“I could send all of the flies in an area to attack my foe, but that would leave me defenseless… Still, it would be an unfathomably powerful technique…” Ulmeyda lost himself in fantasies of himself as the number 1 (million) hero, with his 999,999 henchmen alongside him. Truly a force to be reckoned with!
“-what if it all became one dust bunny? That’d be super strong-”
“Perhaps if I had a milker, I would be able to prepare my quirk in advance…” We will avoid looking at Rob’s thought process in any greater detail.
“-like some sort of dust mecha made of smaller bunnies-”
“Well I’ve definitely got the sssssstrongest ssssssuper move of all of you!” Suki burst out, before immediately regretting it when everybody turned to look at her with a ‘well?’ written clearly across their faces.
“...Sssssso I kisssssss sssssomeone, and ssssssspit a sssssssnake into them, and then the ssssssnake ssssssspits out my human form, and then they, uh, sssssssexplode.” She bolted through her secret assassination plans so quickly she didn’t manage to realize that she’d just revealed her secret assassination plans.
“...Sssssssick.” Runt wasn’t sure if that was racist, but a kickass move like that deserved recognition.
“That is very killer!” Rob almost yelled, proving to the rest that he wasn’t a total stick in the goo - wait, no, that was a misspeak, false alarm.
“What, you’d let other people eat you, but not me?” Hisa casually asked, sending Suki into a coughing fit and spawning about twelve revisions to the 1-F shipping chart. If only they knew…
“...Wouldn’t that cover you in stomach acid?” Haiiro asked, because clearly that was the issue with the plan.
“I would ssssssimply grow faster than the assssssid gets me.”
Ryosuke opened his mouth. He did so so rarely that the rest of 1-F associated it with great wisdom and power. The hard-earned knowledge of the mountain man, aloof from the rest of society, descended upon those unworthy 1-F souls. The table chatter quieted down just slightly, and they leaned in to hear.
“What if he’s the throat GOAT?”
“...What?”
“I said, what if he’s the throat GOAT? Like he sucks dick for a living? If his throat muscles are developed enough, he could just shove the snake back out.”
A thoughtful silence settled on the table, broken soon after by Suki’s panicked excuses and quick retreat. She ran through the door as another 1-Fker walked in, this one with a far higher gacha rarity.
“Hey, is that Kyoko?” Dick Hertz asked, making the rest of the class turn and stare at the poor yeti.
Sensing an introvert in trouble, or perhaps more accurately, an opportunity for spotlight-stealing, Hisa sprang into action. “Know what? I’ll prove super moves are useless and put my money where my mouth is. I’ll beat somebody from 1-D in a duel!”
A few seconds passed, and Hisa remembered she didn’t know anybody in 1-D.
“Hey, Rob, who’s a 1-D student?”
“Uh, Flying Force?” Rob was somewhat distracted, as the rest of the class was still committing a synchronized visual lynching of Kyoko. The poor yeti was trembling, and much like a dog spotting the mailman fleeing, the class only stared harder.
“Point me at him?”
Rob turned, found his failed date, pointed in her general direction, and turned back to yetiwatch. “Good luck with that.”
Unfortunately, Flying Force was walking past a table at the time, and Rob’s finger wasn’t moving with her.
“Uh, yeah I see. Blue eyes, scowling, and scrawny?”
“...Don’t really looking at the eyes, but I thought they were more greenish. How is that the detail you write down?”
“Avoid the eyes? Thanks Rob, time to win an argument.” Hisa stood up, and confidently crossed the cafeteria, composing her duel declaration, strongest sharks readied in her memory to crush her opponent with brutal efficiency. She tapped a certain Satoru Tani on the back.
Elsewhere, a different disaster was unfolding.
“Hey, Kyoko, we were just talking about super moves. What’s yours?” Haiiro asked, all innocent and unprepared.
Kyoko obliged the question by demonstrating her super move right there, in person, before fleeing into the hallways.
Umeko, having taken shelter under the table as soon as Kyoko appeared, pushed a panicking and feral 2ki off her and started peeling ice off of her tail. “How does this always happen?”
And once again, elsewhere…
“Sssssssensei!” Suki burst into the bathrooms. “Pleasssssse tell me you don’t sssssssuck cocksssssss!”
Skycarver calmly poured himself a drink, grabbed his cup, drank deeply from it, and then, as the previous sentence registered, spit all over his papers.