Hari. He (She for friends.) Aromantic male. CholPhleg sp/so 8w9. Vaguely Disordered I get pissed off easily
Getting my thoughts out. Read if you want
18/06/24 I need to figure out how to set up this diary thing As in the layout. This looks pretty good so far and I did originally intend this to be an extended except more extended so it makes sense why it'd go w more/longer text. I have a bunch of rentry ideas in general (including for this url #Procrastination) that I either need to sketch or need to note down God I love this site. Not the people on it though!
Actually I sort of take that statement back. I find a morbid curiosity in people with a billion docs on them Like how is one this shit of a human being. I won't mention who for Reasons but. I find urlhopping sometimes leads to really interesting stuff too. Funnily enough my inspo for starting to make inner background metadata stuff came from urlhopping between this one guy's rentries... I really liked the way they set their stuff out especially their interests rentry w the characters at the bottom as an inner bg component. I don't know if that's still up.
My spotify suddenly logged me out and I can't tell if I'm banned or not and it sucks Badly because I can't be assed to get vanced youtube music or the apk of it or Whatever it was atm. Guess I'm just using normal youtube interspersed between silence? If you notice this rentry being quite disjointed in terms of topics that's just how my diary/blog-writing style is
I've been getting interested in reviews of booktok dark 'romance' slop recently. Life has been mind-numbing so give me something to laugh at. I don't like routine at all. Also dug up some stuff I was into in 2020 such as mortisfox's games. Apparently those are making the rounds on tiktok now? Or back in 2024? Tiktok is genuinely cancer to the mind anyway in a lot of cases. Also getting really into generally Christian iconography even though I have never been Christian at any point in my life, probably never will be nor was I raised in a Christian household. Is Rentrypin getting to me?
Anyway these things are making me not want to die Well also the fact I'm not suicidal in the first place. At least not at the moment. Also it'd probably hurt. I don't find happiness in much due to being Vaguely Disordered (You will never know what those disorders are. I don't even know myself!) but I love humanity and my friends and the things I mentioned above and rentry as in the site and more
22/06/24 Vow of actually updating this unlike my Bearblog and old diary is going well so far. I might move / copy some stuff from here to my Bearblog depending on how I'm feeling. Only recently has writing like this began to flow naturally to me, even if it is or feels stilted. It's progress. I grow into my own skin Ok sorry holy larp I change A lot. I'm about to go to sleep so hopefully I'll fill in the rest of today's entry when I wake up.
I'm finally filling today's entry in. Got to go to this fair thing but all there was was food. The only activities there were for four-five year olds so I was mostly on my phone; left after a while. What I am pretty happy about is getting all my comms done for the week, though that does mean I'll have to wait a bit, both to recharge and for people to ask me for commissions. I have this one guy in my dms who friended me a few days ago and has said absolutely nothing so far but I think I clocked them as rentrycord-seeming (they're not in any mutual rentrycord servers though)
28/06/25 I need to piss
I have. Stuff to write about again. Woohoo but I need to actually write it. (Though it's about a few days ago. So consistent with updates!) Was playing this one VN with oomf and tell me why there were panty shots of the main character every 4 seconds? Scene of her with her friends? Panty shot. Scene of her cutting herself? Panty shot Yes this was a genuine scene. That wasn't even the biggest problem because the plotline (if you could call it a plotline with how many plotholes were in it) was utter shit. Girl's mum dies and she meets guy who looks 10 years older than her despite them being both 18. On his side of the plot he saw girl at concert for the first time when they were twelve. Girl is like 'wow... I love the pain in his music...' and becomes a parasocial stan. Girl goes to the same school as guy who looks 10 years older than her and lets the guy get bullied by some other dude who looks 30. Girl dates bully only to kill bully because it was all part of her plan to make guy who looks 10 years older than her suffer to create more pain to put in his music. Ok and why did she go crazy yandere again? Because her mum died? Don't get me wrong the guy's an enabler too. Dude you're the one she looks up to don't let her be weird and parasocial toward you (Also when she's threatening to kill your band members do something instead of describing her)
I think they should've set it in a college or uni and made the band members fuck each other instead. If you know what I'm talking about then you know. They should've made the characters not dogshit-ly written too but it's indev so I'll allow it. I guess.
The days blur by and I remember less and less. My theory is that something needs to happen that distracts from my daily routine in order to actually feel the days passing by. I live in a small town with next to no incidents, nothing out of the ordinary. Could be worse. Seriously though yesterday I couldn't remember what day it was (was flip-flopping between 26th, 29th and 27th) and whether I'd brushed my teeth or not. My hands are sweaty as I'm writing this and I need subway surfers gameplay to focus. On a more positive note; partially on oomf's reccomendation (same friend who played that vn with me) I started playing TCOAAL. (side note if you're going to freak out about this send us a message by pigeon!) No massive incestuous making out rawdogging backshot jumpscares yet—I aim to get the 2nd and 3rd episodes done in a few days. This week I've been focusing less on Rentry in general. Counting up my money I've made. 400-450 from commissions? What? Made a few Roblox avatars too, might link them here at some point when I'm free.
It may sound like a lot of people on Rentry's experience, I don't know but: my day's been alright. Nothing more, nothing else. Rumination has been hitting me recently, my mind going back to one person who I won't name here. He's not on Rentrycord nor is he in Rentry-centered spaces. Don't try. I would've put something else here but I found it too personal for all of Rentry to know. Find my pages, maybe? On the topic of Rentry, it sort of relates to parts of the last section too; I block out a lot of myself for this site. Have you ever heard of the rentrypin meta? Carefully crafting what parts of yourself you show to fit your divine heavenly angel saint mother persona, or to make yourself seem like you have the moral high ground. As you dig deeper you hammer yourself into whatever sub-section of this part of the Internet fits you the most, even at the expense of your real life. It's stupid. What's restricting you from being yourself? Societal pressure from people you don't even know behind the screen, anonymous Kokoa jirai-themed blogs? Touch grass. Stop being chronically online. Go outside!
Update I got a commission whilst I was writing this entry. Anyway to finish I really like the voice acting for noli in pwned by 14:00. Life is roblox 🖤 bye.
06/07/25 I'd rather get stabbed to death with an icepick than be typing this right now