The Great Bulk Interlude 5: Breaking and Entering
A Half-Baked Plan
“Remind me why we're here again?” Cobalt asked, looking at the mansion before us. “Did we seriously travel out of town just to go sightseeing?”
“Relax, this is all part of my master plan,” I tried to reassure him. “Rumors say that the lady that owns this joint, Miss Tsareena, has a boatload of jewelry! I even scrounged up a new recruit that can help me get in there.” I gestured to the Wattrel I was riding upon. “Gentlemen, this is Ampere, your newest coworker. Ampere, the two nitwits before you are Cobalt and Dewalt. They might not look like much, but they're surprisingly capable.”
“I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that,” Cobalt grumbled.
“Okay then!” Ampere chirped.
“I don't mean to burst your bubble, but what exactly are our roles in this mission?” Dewalt questioned. “You didn't exactly go into much detail.”
I slapped myself. I knew I forgot something! “Okay, listen up!” I commanded. “Ampere is gonna fly me up to one of the mansion windows, and we'll let ourselves in. The two of us are gonna find the lady's secret stash, take as much as we can, and bail out! You two meatheads are here as insurance – if we attract too much heat and her guards chase us out, it's your jobs to hold them off.”
“So you're going to sacrifice us just to save your own hide?” Cobalt complained.
I squinted at him for a moment, in order to display how his constant griping irritated me. “We aren't going to get caught since I'm the king of stealth, but it's good to have insurance,” I tried to reassure them both.
“You're putting an awful lot of confidence in yourself,” Dewalt replied. “Are you sure you won't mess things up? What about the new girl?”
“I can take care of myself, thank you very much!” Ampere chided.
“I don't doubt that, but did Nickel do any research about our target at all?” Dewalt queried. “I don't wish to impose upon his leadership, but there's a certain key detail he's missing.”
“If you're so smart, then why don't you share your findings with the whole class?” I said mockingly, putting my minion on the spot.
“Well, Miss Tsareena isn't your ordinary frail member of the upper crust,” Dewalt began to explain. “She's a very adept martial artist in her own right. I don't think all four of us combined would be enough to stop her.”
“You worry too much!” I yelled. “The whole point of the mission is not to get spotted! If everything goes well, she won't even know we're here!”
“You're an idiot, Nickel,” Cobalt insulted. “Knowing how your endeavours typically turn out, we're going to get everyone in that building on our ass! You've repeatedly stressed the importance of keeping quiet, then you throw out subtlety first thing when you see money, or worse, those stupid “special coins”!”
“That's enough backtalk for one day, calamari-brain!” I scolded. “Ampere and I are gonna break into the mansion. You'll all be wishing you hadn't doubted me when I come back with our payday.”
An Intrusion
Ampere flew me up to one of the windows, which she then lifted up so the two of us could enter. As soon as her talons touched solid ground, she began to shake. “I'm so excited,” she whispered. “This is the first time I've broken into somewhere!”
“Keep your hype to yourself,” I muttered. “We need to find her bedroom or dressing room, get as much jewelry as we can, then leave. I'll scout a bit ahead of you, and when I give the signal, you walk to my position.”
“Got it,” Ampere nodded.
“Well, let's get on with it, then,” I said as I climbed off of her. I made my way out of the room we were in and spied on the hallway beyond, noting the presence of only a single napping guard. I gave a signal to Ampere and the two of us crept past. We began to look through numerous rooms while evading the others – we saw a dining room, a kitchen, bathrooms, and bedrooms, the latter of which we looked over for Tsareena's jewelry. We didn't find what we were looking for, but the last bedroom had a few things of note.
There was an oversized bed and a closet big enough to fit my other two lackeys in, and most interestingly, there was a trophy cabinet. Most of the trophies seemed to be for combat-related events, tournaments especially. Most of them were gold or silver, cementing Dewalt's warning into my mind.
A bit of doubt began to creep in. Was Tsareena just careless, or was she so confident in her abilities that she only stationed a minimal amount of security? I shook my head. Now wasn't the time for my head to get clouded! There was money to make, and by Arceus, I was going to get every last cent!
Meanwhile...
A peculiar Slowbro strolled up to Dewalt and Cobalt, pointing the Shellder on his arm at them. “What are you doing?” He asked Cobalt.
“We're waiting on someone,” Cobalt replied. “Why're you sticking your nose into our business?”
The Slowbro reached into his bag and retrieved an apple, which he devoured in only a few bites, core and all. “I'm going to rob Tsareena,” he said bluntly, staring off into space.
“Well, I hate to break it to you, but our boss is already doing that,” Dewalt informed the Slowbro.
“Okay. I'll wait here,” the Slowbro responded, reaching into his bag for more food.
“One of us needs to keep an eye on that guy,” Cobalt whispered to Dewalt. “I know his type. The moment Nickel and his new friend get back, he's going to beat all of us up and take whatever he finds.”
“I certainly do hope things don't come to that,” Dewalt stated. “If the tubby fellow starts any trouble, I'll just throw a Sleep Seed at him and we can make a break for it. He doesn't look like he can dodge anything.”
As the two partners in crime whispered to each other, the Slowbro began to nod off, snoring loudly all the while.
I had finally found it! After sneaking around over a dozen guards and checking nearly every inch of the mansion, we found Tsareena's dressing room. After a bit of rummaging around, we finally found boxes of valuable jewelry, which I began to stash inside of Ampere's bag.
“I wanted more action, but at least things are going smoothly,” she lamented.
“You'll get plenty of adrenaline-burning robberies and more in the future,” I promised her. “You can help Cobalt rob folks. Now, let's finish stuffing our goodies in here and get the heck out.”
Just as I was about done loading Ampere up, however, the door creaked open. Standing in the doorway was Tsareena, whose glare bored a hole through my soul. I knew then and there that we were screwed.
“What do we have here?” Tsareena asked aggressively, stepping closer to the two of us. I climbed onto Ampere, ready to flee with her the moment she went on the offensive. “Thieves? In my home? I don't know if you're foolish or bold, but do you know what happened to the last man who tried to touch my belongings?”
“Uh... You let them go?” I replied, feeling nervous from the woman's mere presence.
“No, no. I do not let Pokemon like you go,” she corrected. “I kicked them so hard, they had to give them a hospital bill.” Tsareena walked closer, all the while a terrible feeling in my guilt built up. With a single Trop Kick, she launched Ampere and myself through a window, the two of us crashing outside. She lept through the broken windowframe and stared down at us, all the while Ampere was struggling to get up.
“I am not done yet,” she affirmed. “You're going to know what it feels like to be on the receiving end of a Tauros stamped-” Suddenly, a claw cuts at her side – Dewalt had heard the glass breaking, and Cobalt was right behind him. “I didn't know you had friends,” Tsareena said amusedly. “You know what they say... The more crooks to punish, the merrier.”
A Strange Guest
Dewalt tried to claw at Tsareena again, but she side-stepped him and hit him with a Power Whip, causing him to fly to the ground. I hopped on over to Cobalt and nudged him. “Hey, moron!” I yelled. “Use those big tentacles of yours to block her hits, then when she's done, counter-attack!” He nodded, grabbing a Cheri Bomb from his bag. He shook the hollowed-out Apricorn with an arm and threw it at Tsareena to grab her attention – it detonated right on her, as she hadn't been expecting that.
“Oh, using cheap tricks, are we?” Tsareena asked. “You're going to regret that.”
Cobalt tucked a bottle of Fortress Froth under his leg tentacles – oddly enough, underneath that was where his beak was. He drank Thicket's new concotion, and the effects were evident. His body tensed up, increasing the amount of punishment he could take, but in return, he moved a bit slower now.
What followed was a game of back and forth between Tsareena and Cobalt. She attacked him with Stomps, Trop Kicks, and Power Whips, but thanks to my command and my business partner's brewing prowess, he was able to withstand it. His counter-punches weren't nearly as strong as her attacks, but every bruise inflicted on her added up. For some strange reason, I also heard fighting in the background – was someone else here, too? I put such thoughts aside and focused on the present, as it was the only way out of the dire predicament we were in.
My train of thought was interrupted by a strange sight – Dewalt's bag dropped on top of Tsareena. I looked up to see Ampere soaring through the sky. “Get out of the way quick, you two!” She warned us. “There's a whole ton of those bombs in-”
Tsareena kicked the Cheri Bomb-filled bag back up at Ampere, the Wattrel being enveloped in a series of explosions. She fell to the ground, unable to move. “I'm not falling for that again!” Tsareena exclaimed.
I nudged Cobalt again. “I'm gonna check on the bird, keep up the same strategy as before,” I whispered to him. I hopped off of him and scrambled towards Ampere, giving her a quick check-over. Thankfully, she was still alive.
“You and your friends better get that woman for me,” she rasped. “My trick was pretty cool though, right?”
I nodded. “Yeah, sure, whatever,” I said dismissively. I heard the sounds of fighting off in the distance again, and to my surprise, a strange guest walked towards us.
He was a Slowbro, but he wasn't like any I had ever seen. His eyes were simultaneously cold, dead, and absolutely clueless, while his portly frame both drew intimidation and amusement from myself. There was a splotch of purple marking his head, and most scarily of all, there was a large, sharp Shellder on his arm – it clearly served as a weapon. In his free hand, he carried a battered Herdier by the neck, and then threw it to the ground. He didn't say anything, instead electing to blankly watch Cobalt's fight.
I hopped back to Cobalt as he blocked yet another Trop Kick. “Just lie down and croak already, woman!” He growled. “You're the biggest pain in the ass I've ever fought!”
“I could say the same to you,” she replied. “I don't know where you get your contraptions and concoctions, but they've been a thorough nuisance!”
She kicked towards Cobalt again, but I recognized it for what it was. It was a feint. “Cobalt, don't block-” I yelled out, only for that idiot to ignore my advice entirely!
He blocked and went to punch, but instead of hitting her, he got a weighty Trop Kick to the head, knocking him to the ground. She began to Stomp on him repeatedly, cackling like a madwoman all the while. I had seen numerous bad, shifty characters back in my homeland, but she revealed herself as the queen of the psychos!
“Stupid boy,” she chided Cobalt. “I was merely playing around with you! I could've ended my little charade at any time. I hope you and your friends enjoy your trip to the infirmary, you've earned it-”
“Hi,” said the Slowbro from before, finally approaching her. “Are you Tsareena?”
She nodded cautiously, putting up her guard. “Are you another friend of these criminals, or are you just a bystander?” She asked. “Either way, this isn't your place to intervene. I'm administering justice.”
The Slowbro pointed towards where he came from – there was the unconscious Herdier he threw to the ground before, alongside the rest of her guards. He was barely scratched, either, which was deeply unsettling. “They're with me now,” he responded. “Are you fighting?”
“Of course I am!” She said angrily. “I don't tolerate brigands of any sort!”
The Slowbro smiled. “Okay,” he replied, stepping closer towards Tsareena. The woman attempted to hit him with a Trop Kick as soon as he got close, but the most unusual thing happened – in spite of his lumbering, slow movements, his shell-arm moved with unnatural speed, blocking her attack in the blink of an eye! She attempted the same move, again, which the Slowbro actually took. What would've been a powerful hit to the stomach barely perturbed him, allowing him to overwhelm her with a Body Press.
This caused her to be dazed for a few moments. The odd Slowbro took this as an opportunity, slapping her repeatedly with the blunt part of his shell. With a final slap, he sent her down, but she got right back up, side-stepping and hitting his side with a Power Whip. Her otherwise slow adversary struggled to orient himself to face her as she danced around him, whipping him over and over, yet he still stood.
He waited patiently for her to enter an opportune position, accruing bruises all the while, and when she entered within the line of his Shellder, a gunk of poison shot out of it, hitting her in the eyes. She yelled out in pain, blinded, allowing him the chance to line his body up with hers and launch into a Giga Impact. That singular move alone almost flattened her, but speaking to Tsareena's willpower, she barely kept on standing.
“I don't know what you are, but I'm not going to lose to you!” She said, attempting to sound intimidating. However, I could hear a bit of fear and anxiety creep into her voice – she was more disturbed by her surprise foe than she let on. The Slowbro shown no reaction to her declaration, lumbering towards her and jabbing her once with his shell.
Tsareena was in the Top 10 of Pokemon who have caused me grief on a mission, yet she fell disgracefully without hardly putting up a fight, crumpling to the ground like a feeble Sunkern. The Slowbro who defeated her slowly approached me and Cobalt, looking down at us both.
“Hi. I'm Shanks,” the Slowbro began. “You people are violent. I like that. I'm joining your gang.”
“Wait, hold up!” I yelled. “I barely know you, man! I don't know what you want from me and my crew, but don't you think it'd be better for you to get to know us more before you decide?”
“No,” he responded. “I'm joining you. It's a declaration, not a request.” His blank, empty stare creeped me out to the point where I couldn't find the words to protest him. Like it or not, Shanks was with us now. The five of us went on home, Dewalt carrying Ampere all the way – she needed time to recover, after that botched bombing of hers.