Etiquette towards us
Etiquette questions taken from here
- What do you go by collectively?
For pronouns [REDACTED]/[REDACTED]s/[REDACTED]self a catch-all set (They/Them (Singular) aux only when you absolutely can't use neos). For names, Amory, or Aria works! - How should people refer to you?
Address individuals when possible, but we are totally fine to be referred to collectively, most of all in a space where there are people we aren't out to!! We also prefer if people Don't used you&, or any variation. Ya'll, you all, and you work though! - What terms do you prefer for referring to yourselves as individuals (headmate/alter/system member/...), or as a group (system/collective/household/...)? Is there any other terminology for yourselves or aspects of your experience that you use and want people to know, or that you dislike and want people to avoid when talking about you?
We will call ourselves headmates most often, a maybe a few other non-medical terms, such as Plurans! We all will exclusively call ourselves a cluster or a hub and plural! We DON'T want to be called a system! We also prefer to not use or be referred by medical, or medical adjacent terms! This includes but is not limited to "Alters", "Parts" "Introjects", "System member", "System", ect. For some more specifics and alternatives that we like used for Ourselves Click here! - Who in your system are people most likely to interact with? (names, pronouns, short Twitter-esque bios, etc)
Amory, [REDACTED]/[REDACTED]s, the permanently active outernaunt
Sarmenti, sé/é/leisean + He/Him + More, The fun-loving jester fictive
Rowan, Ti/Tul/Ul/Uli/Tulipself + He, Just kinda here, seems to be required for his brother to get co-conscious
Farid, He/Him, No shit taking fictive who is somewhat brutally honest
Tinsel, He/They/🥘/🍲 + more, mean, and adores cooking. Stays quiet about his guilt. - Will people be interacting with any child members? How should they treat them? Is there anything they should know when interacting with them?
They may! We just have (age constant) little/middle, who holds most of the anxiety and is just anxious in general, as well as a more Child like members who are more adult in mind but not entirely sure. Treat him like you would most children his age. Rowan will sometimes age slide to a little, but that is, for the most part, kept very private and won't talk in servers or people that the cluster knows and trusts very well. - Are there any system members who are nonverbal or otherwise have difficulty communicating? What should others expect when speaking with them? (having other system members translate, can speak normally over text but will need accommodation over voice, etc)
Amory will sometimes have verbal shutdowns when very upset or stressed as well as Rowan, but this doesn't extend to text. Artorias is altverbal and mainly speaks in shakespearean English, but will provide a translation with every text for ease of everyone. Marshmellow types and speaks in third person with neo pronouns. - What should people do if they don't know who's at front?
Role with it, More then likely Amory is in front, and people are just blurry. Be patient, Be kind. - Is it okay for people to ask if they can talk to someone who isn't at front at the moment?
They can leave messages for certain people and we will do our best to get that message too them, but prefer people not ask to talk to someone who isn't currently know to be active. - If someone talks to one of you, will other system members be aware of the conversation? Will they be actively watching, or just able to remember it later?
Generally yes they will be aware of the conversation, thought mostly in remembering later, though some may be lured to co-conscious and start actively listening if the topic is about something they are interested in. When co-conscious, every one who is conscious will be able to actively watch the conversation. They will also be able to remember the convo later, though not very Well all the the time since the body has ADHD so has poor memory. - Adding onto the above – if multiple system members will be aware of a conversation, will they want to chime in? If someone wants to speak to a system member one-on-one, what expectations can they have and how should they communicate this?
Taking turns speaking has never been our strongest suit due to ADHD causing blurting when excited, but we try to keep the conversations as "One on one" as possible in public servers, and keep cross talking to a minimum. For true sorta "One on one" conversations, for everyone other then Amory, since Amory is permanently active, this will be somewhat difficult, but people will do their best to keep from interrupting, and butting in the conversation. - How out are you? What should people do when talking to people who don't know you're plural?
I'm only out to people to people I'm fairly close to online outside of plural spaces. And when talking to people who don't we're plural, please keep it hush-hush. Just refer to us all as Amory, and act as though we are a singlet. It's safer and less anxiety-inducing that way for us. - Do you have any internal communication difficulties, memory issues, switch triggers, etc that others should be mindful of?
Due to ADHD, we all have general memory issues and have fairly poor internal communication, needing to mostly externally communicate thoughts to often get more than a hint of a feeling, or just knowing someone is co-conscious. We don't tell people activity triggers, since that could be used agaisnt us and... We don't want that. - Your stance on being asked questions? (about personal experience, preferences, plurality in general, etc)
So long as they aren't intrusive and getting into our personal life, most questions are fine! If they aren't we will be sure to say so! - Is there anything else others should know?
Nothing we can currently think of!
