Fat Onis Make For Great Fights
Femurman was having a good day, today. He found a box of rotten fruit behind a dumpster. And there's only one thing to do with rotten fruit.
Throw it at people!
And there's plenty of people who take issue with fruit being thrown at them in the Devil Moon.
Splat.
Splorch.
Spurt.
"What in the- HEY!"
An old yokai with a long neck stepped outside his shop, just to see some dunce chucking weird smelly things at it.
Splat.
"What the hell!? You stupid kid, what the hell is wrong with you!?"
There he stood, valiantly and bravely on a musty crate. Another musty crate was cradled in his arm, filled with rotten fruit.
"Nothing."
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'NOTHING'!? You're... defacing my property!"
"...Yeah."
Spurt.
"Well... STOP! Or else! Or else you're gonna get hurt!"
"Are YOU gonna hurt me?"
"No! I'm gonna call the Hellion Mob on you! I'm paying them protection, y'know!"
"How fast can they get here?"
Splorch.
"PRETTY DAMN FAST, YOU HOOLIGAN!"
"Well, uh... go call them!"
"I... I will!"
The old shopkeeper ran into his shop. He ran to his counter, and searched under it for some sort of sigil. He was supposed to grab it, and it was then supposed to give some Hellion Mob members the cue to come to his shop and actually protect him, like they force him to exorbitantly pay them to do- I mean, he pays them to do. Of his own free will, clearly.
Splurt.
A rotten fruit landed on a wall of the shop. Inside the shop.
Femurman followed him in.
"...So, what do you sell here?"
"Ping pong accessories- HEY! GET OUT!"
"Calling the mob?"
"Yes! They should be here any second!"
"I'd say Hellion is already here."
Femurman and the shopkeeper turned to see an obese blue oni coming in through the door.
"Ah! That was fast! Pick this hooligan up, and throw him out the door! And then... make him scrub my shop! I didn't know you could get here so fast!"
The fat oni snickered.
"Ah, you used that sigil we gave you, huh? This guy giving you trouble? Well... I guess this is great timing, then! You see, I ain't here to take care of this guy. I was already on my way."
"H-Huh? Then why are you here?"
"Simple: your protection fee has gone up."
"HUH!? B-But... I pay you so much! I... I can't afford it being raised!"
"Well, you're gonna have to! If you want me to kick this guy out, that is!"
Femurman wasn't paying attention to this. He was inspecting one of the ping pong paddles, right to the side of the door the fat oni just came through.
"I... I... I'll do it myself! I can't pay you!"
Again, the fat oni snickered.
"What? You CAN'T pay the Hellion Mob? You'll have to be careful, then."
The fat oni leaned over the counter, and grabbed the old man by his long throat.
"Any sorts of things could happen!"
Throwing the old man to the ground next to him, the fat oni put his arms together.
"So! Are you gonna pay, or am I going to have to-"
SMACK!
In a surge of aura, the fat oni was sent flying, straight into a rack of ping pong balls on the other side of small shop.
Femurman was standing in front of the shopkeeper, his arm outstretched, a metal ping pong paddle in hand. It was bent.
"Awww... it got bent."
The shopkeeper was not amused by his 'savior'.
"Y-You're gonna have to pay for that!"
"Can't make me."
The fat oni was finally standing to his feat. His face stung, though the ping pong paddle didn't really do much damage.
"DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH, PAL!?"
"No, just a fight wish."
"You don't even KNOW who I am! One of the Hellion Mob's greatest enforcers, hand of the-"
Plonk.
A ping pong ball connected directly with the oni's head.
This did nothing but make him angry.
And then his anger stopped.
And he smiled.
"I don't really care. Are you gonna keep talking, or am I finally getting to stretch a little, fatso?"
"HOHAHAHA! Ah, I'll help with your little stretch! I'll help so much, I'LL TEAR YOU IN HALF!"
The fat oni put his hands together, and cracked his knuckles....
Cocking his head to the side, he stuck his tongue out.
"Buddha Crushing Hymn!"
A torrent of aura swamped the shop! Floorboards creaked and moaned as the weight of the thug and his sheer aura caused it to tremble!
Femurman smirked.
"Ha! This place is gonna crumble any minute under this tard's weight. Ey, shoppy?"
The nervous shopkeeper regained his words and expressed his discontent.
"M-M-My shop! Y-Y-You'll destroy my shop!"
"Hope you have insurance."
The source of the quakes growled, and stomped! His foot went straight through the floorboards; parts of the roof began to crumble! The shop surely wasn't long for this world.
"DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE ALL TALK! PUT 'EM UP, OR I'LL JUST GO AHEAD AND KILL YOU RIGHT NOW!"
Femurman paused, and thought for a moment.
"One sec."
"W-W-WAAAAAHH!"
Femurman 'lightly' kicked the shopkeep behind him, launching him out of the front door.
He landed on his back a few meters away from the shop, the wind completely knocked out of him.
"Sorry for the detour, fatty. Can't have the coot dying in this rubble. He's too charming."
"TCH! YOU'VE WASTED YOUR CHANCE, FOOL! DIE!"
The huge yokai leaped at Femurman, fully with the intent to kill! Aura and dust filled the air!
Barreling through the floorboards, he inched closer and closer to Femurman, still as statue.
"Behold the Flight of Femurman!"
In simplest terms, the shop was destroyed.
Crunched wood and flying dust obscured the area entirely!
Onlookers, attracted by the commotion, coughed and turned to prevent the dust from clogging their eyes and lungs.
Weakly, the shopkeeper audibly lamented the carnage.
The violet-skinned oni looked at his fist with a mixture of irritation and excitement. His psychotic grin was replaced with a disappointed frown.
His fist merely connected with the ground, leaving a cracked crater in the earth, the shop disentegrated. There wasn't a red smear like he had expected!
"I ain't a fan of your games! Makes me wanna hurt you extra bad, Mr Matador!"
"Please. As if I know what a 'matador' is, Whopper Supreme."
The oni made total eye contact with the undead, staring him in the face. An impossible-to-miss geyser of aura surrounded him.
Both shouted in unison.
"SHOWTIME!"
Femurman was the first to move - leaping into the air, he spun a leg at blazing speeds towards his adversary's skull! The heel of his foot dared to connect below the oni's horns!
No dice - with surprising speed, the fat oni simply ducked under his kick, even his horns narrowly clearing the attack.
The undead was wide open as his kick dragged him into a splitting position, and then beyond that! Femurman's most valuable weak point was exposed: his crotch!
First, the oni's leg turned.
Then, his hip.
With a meteoric uppercut, the oni... blundered.
"Eh!?"
The dust and aura had cleared enough, now. The crowd could see what had surprised the oni. Those unfamiliar with Femurman's antics were quite surprised, as well.
Hanging in mid-air, Femurman had somehow repositioned from directly in front of the oni, to a position 90° away! And Femurman was oh so happy to cause such confusion.
"You thought the flight thing was a joke?"
Femurman's left leg that he initially swung hung in place, and his body seemed to move by itself as his right leg sprung at the oni's chest! Of course, it was all him, as his left foot shifted to bring forth the rest of his body to his target.
Barely blocking the surprise blow with the back of his forearm, the oni stumbled and rolled back! With surprising dexterity, he caught himself!
With a grin once again plastered on his face, the oni shuffled and weaved as he approached his opponent!
Femurman flipped from his mid-air stance onto the ground, and balled his fist as he dashed to meet the oni in a clash on the ground.
Time seemed like it slowed down as Femurman neared his target, posed to strike him in the chest, and then it all went by much faster as he heard a familiar crunch.
The oni's left hook landed perfectly on the undead, and he winded up his next attack while his opponent was dazed.
Despite putting up his arms, Femurman felt brutal pain once more as the oni's right straight connected with his forearms, knocking them away from his chest!
A 2-piece combo came next: a swift jab to crumble Femurman's stance, and a rough haymaker that blasted him away!
Part of the crumbling store that remained was nothing but tissue paper to the Femurman-sized projectile rushing through it, his head grazing the rubble, and putting him into a comedic spin.
The oni rushed forward, doggedly pursuing his target!
Femurman's eyes lit up, and he contorted as he approached the dirt.
Touching onto the ground for merely a fraction of the second with his finger, Femurman reduced his momentum, and sprung into the air in the direction of the oni!
As the approaching oni aimed a fist to catch his flying opponent, he was awed to see him contort and spin again, with unnatural dexterity! His blow cleanly missed - his opponent began to capitalize on the opportunity.
And as Femurman came close to landing a kick to the oni's face, his clockwise momentum suddenly reversed direction, and a heel struck the oni in the side of his head as his enemy spun! Before he could even react, an elbow hit square in the eye! Somehow, a kick finally struck - on the back of his head!?
Yet, the oni stood tall! Despite being stunned, he searched for an opening!
Handstand! Femurman touched onto the ground after the spinning aerial assault, and the dazed oni premptively put his hands into a positition to block his upper body!
With impossible dexterity and grace, Femurman swept his opponent out from under him, with both legs!
His opponent landed flat on his back, and two legs connected again; into his stomach! The ground cracked beneath him!
As the oni heaved, Femurman backflipping off of him, he caught a faint, sparkling light. Gears turned in his mind.
"'Stepping Silver'... launched yourself from the handstand, then into me from the disc... slick bastard! That's not flight!"
"Some people call it that. I prefer 'Awesome Discs of Femurman', myself. Besides, it's totally flight."
"Hrgggh... you're tacky!"
"You just don't get style."
Leaping to his feet with dexterity the crowd was still amazed by, the oni boiled with rage to see Femurman casually stand there, like he wasn't bleeding from their short flurry of blows. He noticed his opponent's wounds slowly begin to close on their own, and his bruises fade.
Dashing towards the oni once more, Femurman frontflipped high into the air, and a careful eye would notice the ethereal disc that manifested as a platform for him. He remained attached to the platform, standing in the air.
His enemy clearly out of his own range, the oni watched and waited for his next move, so he could counterattack.
He slowly walked forwards as his opponent still simply hung suspended in midair.
...
...
...
With a guttural scream and a clear burst of aura, the oni lept into the air, like a tiger aiming for a dragon!
His grasping hands aimed to snatch his enemy from the sky!
One sidestep was all it took - a clear miss! Of course, Femurman could not pass on an opportunity like this.
Kicks, fists, knees, elbows; a spiral of attacks, a true cyclone, centered on the oni's ribs, shoulder, and head!
Blow after blow, a meteoric bicycle kick slammed the oni into the ground, leaving him in a crater!
Landing several meters away, Femurman sneered.
"Some warm-up, huh?"
The oni snarled. Slowly, he got up from the ground. He moved his body unevenly; he wasn't feeling all too well.
"Fine! You don't wanna take things seriously? THEN I'LL MAKE YOU!"
Aura surged around the oni once more; this time, far more than previously.
"Infinite Muscle Hell! Suited Punishment"
The oni's flesh quivered and strained. Under his indigo skin, lumps of muscle stuck out; growing more and more plentiful until his body was uniform.
A mass of flesh covered his face like a mask.
Towering over his opponent, the oni was over twice his previous height.
His voice sounded muffled.
"Well, this is your last chance! Beg for mercy now, and maybe I'll let you live!"
Femurman was not amused.
"I could not hear a word you just said. What's the point of the stupid skinblob on your face? Just makes it harder for everyone to hear you suck at banter."
The oni WAS actually quite amused.
"HOHAHAHA! Yes, I'm not surprised a ignoramus like you can't see no point in doing such a thing!"
Femurman shrugged.
He turned to the crowd that watched their battle, and pointed at his opponent.
"HEY! This guy said he likes men!"
"Are you 12!?"
"AND he says he's the bottom!"
"I AM NOT!"
"....Wait, you're not denying that-"
The oni's huge leg contorted. He lifted it, and it stretched to his opponent's location!
Femurman had no chance to finish; he was punted like a football!
As its target ate dirt and landed on a food stall a good distance away, the leg returned to its former position.
Femurman could have sworn he heard the crowd cheer a little.
Laying on his back on the crushed cart, Femurman stared at his opponent. A bone definitely fractured or broke somewhere from that kick. No big deal, it would probably heal in the next 10 minutes.
"...Guess I'll start cutting loose, too."
Getting off the cart, and dusting himself off, Femurman reached down to his ankles.
Removing two straps, he started stretching.
The crowd parted, and gave the massive oni quite a bit of room as he walked towards his opponent, the ground rumbling with every step, his aura causing dust to lift into the air.
"You've made your choices that led to this moment. You've no one to curse for your own death, but yourself!"
Femurman finished stretching, and looked up at his opponent. The oni started readying a massive fist.
Femurman grinned, filled with joy, and surging with aura!
"Femurman's Attractive Power Knows No Bounds!"
The oni could not land his punch - he couldn't do a thing!
Springing into the air, narrowly avoiding his opponent's arm, the undead's spinning kick met its mark under the massive oni's shoulder! Faint energy, unlike aura, surrounded the limb as it connected!
The unmistakable sound of tearing flesh!
Femurman touched onto the ground, and falling behind him: a massive arm landing with a thump!
"I think I can live with myself."
The arm fell, and from it's socket, no blood spilled out. Tendrils of flesh reached to connect with the arm, and started reattaching it to the oni's body!
"B-Bastard...!"
"Aw, sweet! I get to do that again!?"
The oni swung in a wide angle with it's other arm; no connection! Again, Femurman swiftly dodged with unnatural dexterity, and countered again - with an elbow! Not quite spliting it from the body entirely, Femurman's elbow left the arm hanging from the shoulder by a thread!
As the oni tried to pull his body together, Femurman twirled behind the oni, and grabbed onto his leg. With a roundhouse, he blew it apart at the knee!
His opponent crumpling to the ground, Femurman jumped up and hung in the air by touching a foot onto a disc, hanging right above the oni's head!
"ALRIGHT!"
Slamming a leg through the oni's head, it simply exploded into scraps of flesh and muscle!
The oni's body limply fell to the ground.
Some of the weaker-willed in the crowd screamed; did they just witness grusome death!?
The unfortunate shopkeeper cheered; he hoped he had just witnessed comeuppance.
Femurman was, again, unamused.
"Ah, get up, drama queen. I can tell that's just some sort of flesh suit. I'm not THAT dumb, you fat nerd."
Femurman scolded his opponent, and the flesh around the giant 'oni' bubbled.
It regenerated its legs to stand up, and turned to face the undead... not that it had a face...
The flesh around the chest split open, revealing the normal-sized (ignoring the obesity) oni was within. He had lost quite a bit of his composure.
"T-That speed...!"
"Yeah, I'm pretty fast. Too fast for your clunky body to hit me. I'm also too cool for your lame intimidation tactic. How 'bout you stop with the giant routine, and do something a little more interesting?"
"Y-You saw through me...!?"
"...Uh, yeah? Now hurry up. Unless you need a little..."
Femurman cracked his knuckles, and started walking towards the oni in his throne of flesh. Aura surged around him.
"...Motivation?"
The fat oni jumbled his words, and the flesh melted away, pooling around him.
"Y-You...! I'll make you pay! I wasn't supposed to use this now... this was meant for later! But... just to kill you... I don't care about whatever punishment I get!"
The bravado left him, but the will to fight hadn't.
The oni took out a flask filled with strange liquid from a pouch on his side, and started chugging it. It reminded Femurman of that Dan's Teen Liquor he's seen before... but a lot more murky and viscous. Clearly, it was something else.
Wiping the murk away from his mouth, the oni's eyes glowed with aura.
"GRAAAAAGH!"
The melted flesh that pooled under his feet bubbled, and humanoid figures rose from the depths of the flesh.
Like the web of a spider, fleshy tendrils formed a prison - or an arena - around both combatants.
Some of the oni's confidence returned.
"I'd like to see you flap your wings now, birdy!"
"Oh, believe me. I'm a flapping expert!"
The oni was a bit taken aback.
"Ohh, what does that even mean!? Bah, who cares?! Muscle Demons, GET HIM!"
The soldiers of flesh sprung, dashed, and crawled at Femurman, swarming him! But as they went for their opponent with claws of bone and bulging forearms, they could not find a clear hit!
Deftly, Femurman evaded each and every attempt to land a blow on him! Leaping into the air, blowing a few holes into some of his agressors with spinning blows on his way up, he dove back down like a hawk!
Discs used like a jumping platform and the magnification of gravity allowed his blows to land with terrifying speed!
Of course, the oni was not idle with his own machinations: the tendril web quivered, and a fleshy net reached for Femurman from his blind spot!
Just as Femurman pulverized another puppet into paste, the fleshy net wrapped around him and bound his limbs - he was immobilized!
"HOHAHAHA! You've met your end, now! That sticky flesh, and gripping muscles... NOTHING can escape them!"
Femurman flexed his body. He verified that statement.
"Shit. Well, I should have been paying more attentio- OWWW!"
Jagged bones erupted from the net, piercing into Femurman's skin!
A hulking figure of flesh raised an arm, ready to impale Femurman with a boney spike! The oni watched happily, in anticipation of his victory!
"I've won! There's nothing you can do! HOHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
And as the spear came closer to Femurman, and as everything seemed like it was at its end, and as the crowd looked on as they were going to REALLY see gruesome death...
Femurman's body moved just out of the way!?
"Missed me."
Watching the faint glow around his opponent's body, the fat oni gritted his teeth in anger.
"GAGH! KILL HIM!"
The abomination of flesh brought its speared arm towards Femurman again, and again, Femurman's body seemed to move out of the way on its own!
Actually, that's not quite the apt description - Femurman's body seemed to be moved out of the way by a third party entirely, his limbs never moving an inch!
The flurry of blows was continued, and yet still Femurman was dodging it!
And then the spear snagged the fleshy net, cutting it.
"N-N-NOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Blood leaking from his wounds, Femurman managed to free himself from the flesh! With a glowing hand, Femurman pulverized the mid-thrust flesh-construct, right at the shoulder! He grabbed the bony spike before it fell to the ground with the rest of the beast!
The spear was in his hands now.
"D-Don't do it!"
The fat oni started to make a wall, and more of the fleshy tendrils grabbed at Femurman, aiming to prevent what would happen next!
Smiling, Femurman was paying far more attention this time.
Stepping through the air, flipping through the air, spinning through the air! The acrobatic expert deftly and swiftly dodged every string that desperately attempted to halt his approach - even strings that should have connected missed, as Femurman again impossibly moved, like gravity itself wished to protect them!
Or as he would put it, like gravity was his bitch!
Going faster than the wall could be raised higher, Femurman had a clear shot - he threw the bone javelin directly at his opponent!
And he hit his mark.
The sharpened spike poking through the oni's shoulder, it was made even worse when a kick followed!
Kicking the bone stalagmite, Femurman knocked the oni onto the ground, pinning him into it with the spike.
The oni yowled in pain!
"So... are we done here?"
The bone bubbled. Turning into flesh, it covered the oni's wound, and he stood up.
"F-Fool! I'm not done ye-"
A quick kick to the chin!
Femurman lept into the air, spun, and began a flurry of blows!
Elbow to the head!
Heel to the shoulder!
Fist to the eye!
Knee to the chin!
Elbow to the chin!
Sole to the chin!
Heel to the shattered remains of what was once a chin!
Blow after blow, the oni was completely and utterly demolished! Through all the wounds, you could hardly make out his facial features.
The oni collapsed on the ground, and Femurman landed harshly on his opponent's back.
The oni spat up some of the murky liquid he drank, and the fleshy arena melted away.
"I think we're done here."
Femurman stepped off of his opponent's spine, stepped around his bloody vomit, and started walking away.
"T-T-T-That liquor... it should've let me beat anyone... that's what he said..."
Femurman turned to see his opponent. He was pretty sure his tongue got chomped between his teeth, which was deconfirmed by his ability to still speak.
"See, there's your issue. Your martial arts were pretty fun at the beginning, but then you went for some lame Conduction. You're relying on that lame gross looking stuff too, right? I'm disappointed."
"D-D-D-Don't you lecture me!"
Unable to muster the strength to stand, the fat oni reached into the pouch where he took out the first bottle - he took out a second.
"I-I-I-I was told not to go beyond the intended dose... b-b-b-but I don't care...!"
Femurman rolled his eyes. This had gone on long enough.
As he struggled to open the bottle, Femurman pondered what he just said.
Huh. It would be kinda funny to watch him puke his guts out by taking too much of that medicine. Yeah, I'll stick around!
Bringing it to his lips, instead of the surge of aura he was expecting, the oni started to convulse.
And then the surge of aura came.
Shaking the ground, the aura far vaster than anything he showed before, the oni rose to his fight.
His body convulsed and mutated, and horn-esque material grotesquely sprouted from his skin!
The crowd shrieked, and began to flee! Clearly, this was not going to end well!
Groaning animalistically, he got down on all fours, and seemed to increase in size! His tongue expanded, and snaked out from his mouth!
GROOOOOOOUUUUUAAAAAAGGHH!!
That was no longer an oni; it was a true monstrosity, unrecognizable from what he once was!
"Femurman Critical Strike!"
Femurman had quickly appeared in front of the monstrosity while it was mutating, and smacked it in what was probably the head with the glowing open palms of both hands. He discombobulated him.
"Ok, that was kinda cool, but this is just dragging on. I'm still disappointed in you."
The monstrosity faintly moaned, clearly stunned.
"Femurman Critical Strike x2!"
Repeating his discombobulating strikes twice in a row, the beast limply fell to the ground. While the bony carapace that surrounded it was merely cracked, Femurman could tell that serious damage had been done to him on a more spiritual level. And he was now probably deaf.
The crowd had once again appeared, the monster clearly dealt with, and began to murmur about what they just witnessed.
Femurman heard whispers from the crowd, and one word kept popping up: 'Chimera'.
"The hell were you drinking, tubby?"
Femurman picked up the almost empty bottle of liquid, and noticed a small drop of murkiness at the bottom. It looked like water from a particularly filthy river, but it was more viscous.
Then, Femurman had an epiphany.
"...Huh! I guess your existence should cause some panic, buddy! I think I'm done for the day."
He turned to the crowd.
"Well then, everyone! I'm off! Still hope you have insurance, shoppy!"
"Y-You bastard! Why couldn't you and that oaf have killed each other!?"
Overseers were likely finally arriving at the scene based on a voice telling the crowd to clear, and Femurman decided that now was time for his escape.
Femurman listened to the voice... female!
Leaping into the sky, dashing via his discs, Femurman looked at the cute Overseer below. He was quite a high distance up in the air; good enough for just a bit of playful flirting. Flirting that required shouting so she could hear him.
Ooh, it was Kaguya!
"FEMURMAN! GET DOWN HERE SO I CAN APPREHEND YOU!"
"ONLY FOR A KISS~!"
"YOU'LL ROT IN JAIL WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!"
"NO KISS? GUESS I'M LEAVING~!"
Femurman turned to leave, but remembered something.
"OH, HEY, CUTIE! YOU SEE THAT WEIRD BONEY MONSTER!? YEAH, THAT WAS A FAT GUY WHO TURNED INTO IT AFTER DRINKING SOME SLOP! AND GUESS WHO HAS THE SLOP NOW!?"
He waved the bottle around.
"What-!? FEMURMAN!! GET DOWN HERE AND GIVE ME THAT SLOP!"
"NUH-UH!"
Childlishy giggling, Femurman sprinted off into the horizon.
The ol' run away into the sky, always works.
Kaguya turned, realizing that apprehending the strange boney creature that was apparently a fat guy was probably what she should be doing right now. Chasing after the amazing flying fuckwad was a worse use of time then preserving the crime scene of what was probably a biohazard.
She poked it with the hilt of her sword. No response.
"...You're under arrest!"
Femurman sat at a bustling bar. Not his first pick, especially because alcohol was gross. Lights and people were constantly flickering and moving through the bar, respectively.
With all the chatter, it was hard to even hear himself think. Good thing he didn't do much of that.
Obviously, someone else had picked the spot.
"Ugh. Why would we ever do this out in the open? Shouldn't I give you the stupid goopy stuff back with the ninja babes?"
To his right, a familiar Stalker sat next to him.
Madoka.
"Now, now. I do everything I do for a reason."
"...Can I know the reason?"
"A woman has to keep some secrets, Femurman."
His eyes squinted with scrutiny when he heard Madoka use the word 'woman'.
"Whatever."
Placing the bottle on the counter, a drop of murkiness still lurking within it, Femurman got up to leave.
"...Femurman?"
He turned.
"What is it?"
Madoka took the bottle in her hand, and looked it over.
"Why do you care about this, anyway? It's not like you to actually ask me to look into things."
"I think the answer's pretty obvious."
Madoka smirked.
"...You think there's a good fight waiting for you at the center of this plot. You're so simple."
"And the ladies love me for it!"
"All of them hate you."
"Agree to disagree."
Madoka got up with the bottle, and began to leave for a seperate exit.
Femurman continued on his way.
Walking down the bustling streets of the Devil Moon, Femurman thought about what he would do next.
His injuries were completely healed, and the world was his oyster.
"Hey, mister! Would you like to spend the night with me?"
Femurman looked over to see a cute girl calling for him. A well-endowed oni.
He snickered, as he immediately came up to her. He put on his best charming attitude.
"Hey, girl. Fat assed onis make for great nights."
He winked.
"That would be 90, mister! But... just for you, I can make it 80!"
Oh. Money.
Femurman reached into his pocket, only to find a ping pong ball, and some rotted pulp.
He dropped all his cash in the rubble of the shop from earlier.
"I got a ping pong ball...?"
The oni dropped her cute voice.
"Keep moving."