there was a knock on the door to Jonah Whitman's home
then another, louder knock
"Ah'm comin', Ah'm comin'."
Francis the badger hustled to the door
and after a few hops, successfully reached the doorknob and pulled it down until it clicked
the door swing open
revealing
a demon hare!
but not just any demon hare
"Muahahaha! Tremble, pitiful Angel! I have achieved height beyond your wildest reckoning!"
filling up the doorway was Lucy
she was seven feet tall
though most of it seemed to be in her legs as her arms were still normal sized
but she wore a long, blood-red robe that covered the rest of her gargantuan, slightly wobbling body
and she leaned over to howl at Francis
the badger, stunned in terror, finally found the ability to move
and scream
as he bolted back inside
"Angel Gabby! Angel Gabby! The demon hares are giant now! Angel Gaaaabby!"
Lucy laughed maliciously as she watched the pudgy figure retreat
"Ha! Now to enter the home of my most hated enemies and lay low her human simp!"
a voice from inside her robe spoke up
"Nope."
Lucy's head snapped down and she scowled
"What do you mean 'nope'?! The door's wide open!"
Lucy's robe sighed
"One, I can't see out of this thing, I keep telling you. Two, I'm pretty sure you'll burst into flames if you try getting inside. And three, we're too tall."
there was a soft 'pap' sound
like a hare's foot stamping angrily against a human's head
and a muffled 'ow' from inside Lucy's robe
"What do you mean 'too tall'. Just bend your knees!"
Lucy's form lowers a half foot, and attempts to step forward
until Lucy bangs her head on the door frame and her body gets very wobbly again
"Ah! Damn it! Bend lower dumbass!"
another thump
"Fuck! Stop kicking me! That's as low as I can go. You know, this would work better if you sat on my shoulders."
Lucy vehemently shakes her head
"Then I wouldn't be eight feet. It needs to be eight feet!"
head and torso went on bickering for a couple minutes until Gabby cleared her throat
"Ahem."
Lucy jumped, and then wobbled
the top third of her body folded backwards as she almost fell over
but something inside her giant robe caught her and pushed her back upright
"Oh! Right! Okay--"
Lucy cleared her throat and put on her best demon voice
"Foolish Angel Hare! Through fiendish means, I have achieved maximum height! A full one foot taller than your seven-foot frame! Cower beneath my mighty tallness!"
Lucy then snarled and shook her head and foamed at the mouth and bled from the eyes
Gabby looked very unimpressed
"I presume that's Inco under there?"
Inco waved, despite the fact Gabby would be unable to see it
"Hi Gabby."
"Hello Inco."
Lucy flushed
"Inco what the fuck! Don't say hi to her! She's the enemy!"
Gabby ignored the outburst, continuing to speak to Inco through the robe
"And how exactly did you let her put you up to this?"
Inco shrugged
"Ah you know me. Can't say no to a lady."
Lucy gnashed her teeth
this wasn't going to plan at all!
plus--
"I am not a lady! I am a fearsome, eight-foot-tall demon hare!"
there's another thump
this one really loud
and Inco grunted in pain
Gabby winced, despite her annoyance with their shenanigans
"Ah, are you alright, Inco?"
Inco shook off the pain with a chuckle
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. She's given worse."
Lucy changed tack
pulling open the top of her robe to stick her face into it
"Inco! You're such a prick! You're not supposed to talk, you're supposed to stand there and be my legs while I scare the shit out of Gabby and her fatty friend!"
there's another thump
this one from Gabby tapping her foot against the floor
her expression had turned absolutely vicious
"Trying to prank me is one thing, but I will NOT tolerate you speaking ill of my Jonah. He is not FAT!"
there was a clap of thunder, and Lucy nearly toppled over again
"Ah! I didn't mean him! I meant the badger!"
Gabby blinked
and the lightning stopped flickering from her eyes
"Oh."
she folded her wings and quickly flattened out the feathers with a hand
"Well that's still impolite to say."
Lucy pouted
the whole day was shot
she didn't even get to chase the badger around
so she stood there and sulked while Gabby looked slightly embarrassed for some reason
Inco took the lull to clear his throat
"Hey Luce, if we're done here do you wanna stop by the Denny's on the way home? Could get some eggs."
that cheered Lucy immensely
the Denny's by their house knew to put the shells IN the eggs while they cook them
"Okay! But I want a milkshake too."
"Like fuck you're getting a milkshake. You're getting fat."
"Am not! You're fat!"
they bickered back and forth about their respective weights
until Gabby interrupted once again
"Well, it seems like you two have a plan for the rest of the day. Why don't you run along before Mikey comes by? She's visiting don't you know."
Inco grinned beneath the robe
"Oh hey nice! Lucy you wanna see Anon and Mikey?"
Lucy responded with indecent haste
"No! No she'll blast us, let's go to Denny's!"
Inco chuckled
"Aw, you worried Mikey will blast us and the robe will burn up and everyone will see you're naked under this thing?"
Lucy gasped
"Inco you shit! Why'd you tell her that?"
"What? I'm naked under this thing too."
"DON'T TELL GABBY THAT!"
Gabby stared at the two arguing for several seconds
then she slammed the door shut and tried to put them out of mind as she fluttered back into the house
"Francis! You can stop hiding in the bathtub now! They're gone."
a small voice from the hallway cried out
"There are more giant demon hares? Oh my!"