'Cause if you're ever gonna find a four leaf clover, You gotta get a little dirt on your hands. ~ Silver Lining, Kacey Musgraves
Written and drawn by Rowlet-anon. (Duh, who else is writing about Rowlets?)
JOURNAL ENTRY #001.
Thursday, Year of the Alpha XXXX
Dear D
Aw, forget that noise. No way am I doing “dear diary” or whatever. It’s a book, why I gotta write to it like it’s my folks or something? Writing isn’t even my thing. And I’m definitely not calling this a Diary, it’s more like a Journal!
>>> Note to self: if anyone asks, this is a Journal. An important record of historical happenings and stuff. For me to remember my glorious Explorer career from start to finish! It’ll probably come in handy when I’m a world-famous Explorer and they need me to write my life’s story or whatever. <<<
Yeah. We’ll go with that. If you’re reading this, you better go with it too.
Then again, if you ARE reading this I’m probably dead or… something. OR you’re sneaking a peek, which in that case… where’s your sense of honor, huh bud? Better make sure I don’t catch you, or I’ll shove a quill right up where it hurts!
Anyway… my name’s Apple Cider, Cider for short. Around here, mons just call me Rowlet. Because that’s what I am. I’m on my 16th coat of feathers. No gray ones on this bird! I live at Spinda’s cafe, work there too - but all I really do is clean and take orders. I’ve been living with Spinda in Treasure Town for as long as I can remember. Really nice place, lots of friendly mons. Especially Spinda. She’s like my moAUNT. Aunt.
So like I said, I got this thing because I’ll need to keep track of exactly what I’m made of. It’s good to remember your roots when you get famous and super-strong after all. To do that, I gotta have a log of Point A to Point B.
Anyway, today’s the second best day of my life. Tomorrow, I’m gonna be apprenticing at Wigglytuff’s Guild, THE Wigglytuff’s Guild. Wigglytuff’s Guild, the finest Exploration Guild on the planet! They’ve got the most complex training regimen I’ve ever seen, not to mention how famous their graduates are! And their Expeditions - you should see the discoveries their guild has made! Way too much to list, I’d be here all day listing them!
Yessiree, that’s the place for me, a perfect fit! I already know I’m a pretty gifted mon already, so I really only deserve the best training this planet has to offer. I’ve waited my whole life for this moment, spent all that I saved up to secure me one spot at their apprentice sign ons!
See, this mon called Kecleon recently showed up in Treasure Town and set down a tent - he’s a different Kecleon from the Kecleon brothers, this one’s blue. I think they’re all related? Anyway, he knows Wigglytuff PERSONALLY and he told me that if I give him 3,000 Poké, he’d GUARANTEE me a spot at Wigglytuff’s apprentice sign ons!
Naturally, I immediately forked it all over once I had it, and Kecleon took me to see them, just because he liked me! How nice!
I was bouncing all the way towards the Guild, and I was close to bursting from sheer joy when we approached the grate. I was busy taking all the sights in when the sentries started screaming out at Kecleon from below. You should’ve seen how fast he turned invisible!
The Guild is so professional! They have some of the best sentries on the continent, and I think they still hold the world record for the fastest footprint identified, at a comfortable one point five second. I was eager to step on the grate myself, so I practically barreled Kecleon out of the way and parked firmly on the bamboo.
I almost melted when they called out ‘Rowlet’. A true sense of pride and accomplishment washed over me as the gate opened. I could barely believe this was happening to me - me, stepping foot inside Wigglytuff’s Guild! I was TRYING to savor the moment as much as I could, but Kecleon rudely pulled me inside by the wing.
Doesn’t he know this type of thing takes time and planning? You can’t just WALK into Wigglytuff’s Guild, you have to stride. Of course some salesmon wouldn’t understand.
Wigglytuff’s is the perfect example of what every Guild should be. The second you climb down into the masterfully crafted floors, you see the perfect environment for Explorers. It’s clean, it’s spacious, the notice boards are neatly separated into a work floor, and the actual guildhall is its own separate level. The amount of thought that had to go into this place is something that only Wigglytuff could’ve pulled off. What a character!
Speaking of Wigglytuff, I don’t think I was prepared to meet… HIM so soon! I barely had the time to preen my feathers before he jumped at us both!
It was Chatot! That’s right, THE Chatot! The cyan plumage, the wonderful yellow and green to add that splash of color, oh and we can’t mention how prim and fine his feathers are, preened to perfection! If I could get my feathers to look that straight and light, I’d get all the chicks! I couldn’t help but stare as he hopped past us towards the Guildmaster’s chamber, but not before giving me a passing look, straight into my eyes.
Read that again. HIS eyes, CHATOT’S EYES, met with mine for a second.
I almost fainted!
I told Chatot it was an honor to meet him and I heard all about his exploration and report on Brine Cave and how it was my favorite writing on any exploration ever and how I wanted to be just like him when I grew up. He was left speechless, but I guess nobody’s ever really prepared to meet one of their superfans. I made sure to blow that all off by mentioning how eager I was to apprentice under the best Guild on the planet. Real smooth, me. Real smooth.
He said it was quite nice to see someone so eager to become an Explorer, but then he muttered something about how “brutal” the training is and how mons my age usually “high-tail it after the first week.” He was making this out to be some sort of exploration sweatshop or something.
Now, OBVIOUSLY this was a test, since he was really bad at talking to himself. Well, I’m not failing any surprise tests, especially if Chatot is the one handing them out! I asked him if the training was really that bad. He got all flustered and tried to laugh it off, but I took the chance to impress him by proudly telling him that no matter how hard the training was, I’d be able to handle it, no problem. I’m not exactly a bad fighter or anything, and I’ve been reading up on Exploration stuff ever since I was a kid!
I don’t know for sure, but I think I earned some brownie points with him, because he told me I had a “good attitude,” but then he told us both to leave since he was very busy and he had no time for “salespeople.” I don’t know why he kept glaring at Kecleon the whole time. Maybe it was the stress of the job.
After we left, Kecleon told me I better be at the Guild by DUSK, right as the sun starts setting. I told him I’d easily make that. I really appreciated his help, and ran off to Spinda’s to tell her the news. She does have to get a new replacement cleaner, but I’m sure she’ll manage without me.
Since I’m positive I’m a shoo-in, I’ve already memorized their Ten Rules for Exploration Teams pamphlet. Heck, every Explorer should know them, after all.
> One! Don't shirk work!
(Honestly, if you’re lazy enough to avoid doing any kind of work, you probably won’t last very long as an Explorer anyway.)
> Two! Run away and pay!
(Admittedly, I have no clue what this is supposed to mean. Gotta make sure to ask about it.)
> Three! Smiles go for miles!
(I try my best to smile a lot, but it’s hard when you have a beak.)
> Four! Once you put a job on your team's list, then use Take Job! That step can't be missed!
(I have no idea what this is supposed to mean either. Must be something they teach in the Guild.)
> Five! Restock your supplies and rations before heading out on explorations!
(Pretty important step. I read once that some guy was stuck in a deep dungeon, a real doozy one that went 50 floors deep, and he ran out of PP midway through and by the time he did, he realized he forgot his bag at home. They never found the body, last I heard. RIP.)
> Six! Before you explore, try to think about the moves you should link!
(Linking moves is a bit of an ancient thing nowadays, but these guys are pretty set on using it. Hey, I’ll admit, using two moves at once sounds pretty powerful. Might try it out myself.)
> Seven! While exploring, don't you panic! Stay cool and calm, never manic!
(A level-head is good for both hunting, fighting, and exploring, too. The mind’s gotta guide the body, after all.)
> Eight! Helping all Pokémon in need is an explorer's duty, indeed!
(Ah, and who says chivalry is dead? A friend in need is a friend indeed, as the saying goes and all that.)
> Nine! Do lots of jobs! That's truly the key! You'll reach Gold Rank. Just wait and see!
(I’m not gonna settle for just Gold. I’m going straight for Master!)
> Ten! The money you earn is shared with the guild! That's the way our friendship will build!
(They even take your money, probably to put it into a shared guild fund so they can hand out extra cash to its members when needed. Mighty progressive of them! They’ve really thought of everything, huh?)
Just reading over these gets me pumped up… boy, I can’t wait to join that Guild! Reckon that in about 20 years tops, I’ll probably be ol Wiggly’s top advisor or something, maybe even his successor! There’s a thought, right?
I can’t wait until morning. I won’t write in this thing until I’m a full-fledged apprentice, but I doubt that’ll take much longer! Just need to make sure I don’t oversleep!
Friday
Well, I didn’t OVERSLEEP.
But I didn’t join the guild either. Because SOMEONE lied to me! The Guild was having their tryouts at DAWN, not DUSK. It’s NOON now, and right when I woke up, Spinda asked me why I wasn’t at the Guild for apprentice sign-ons.
When I told him that they’re not happening until sunset, Spinda just shook her head and said that they were happening at sunRISE. I ran out of the cafe so fast I think I lost some of my feathers.
The Guild had their gate opened which meant that they were accepting visitors, and THAT meant they HAD to have been doing sign ons. By the time I got in, there was enough sweat pouring down my face to flood Treasure Town. I probably looked insane, but I really didn’t care. I just found Chatot and asked when apprentice sign-ons were.
And Spinda was RIGHT. Chatot told me the sign-ons happened right at sunrise! I flapped my wings wildly and said I was told they were happening at dusk! Kecleon told me that! I felt my stomach knot when Chatot just tilted his head and gave me a sad little headshake.
I was duped.
Chatot explained that there simply wasn’t any room for another apprentice, and it was in no way fair to boot out the apprentices who made it on time for someone tardy. And that’s not even mentioning that Wigglytuff HATES latecomers, so I was definitely risking something nasty.
Although being hit by one of his famous Hyper Voices WAS on my bucket list.
I think my heart sank to the bottom of my chest. I just couldn’t believe it - how could I have messed up THIS badly? I tried pulling out all the stops, that it wasn’t MY fault that I got tricked into something like this, I had no idea when the sign ons were actually starting! I tried to explain that I was nocturnal, too. My sleep schedule is terrible! But I didn’t get ANY leniency from this guy. It was a “first come, first served” basis, and I missed out on the meal.
Now all that’s left are the scraps.
Chatot told me I’d just have to wait until they next do sign ons - which could take YEARS for your information - and then gave me a ‘Wigglytuff’s Guild’ postcard that was from like five years ago. It did NOT help. How was a postcard supposed to make me feel better about flopping on my chance to join the greatest guild this side of the planet?!
Well, by the time I sulked my way out of the guild, I was out of the denial stage and straight into anger. I marched right over to Treasure Town’s square, and I tracked down that sleazy grape as fast as I could. His smile faded pretty quick once he saw me. He tried to hit me with a “lovely day, isn’t it?” but I shut that down real fast.
I told him to zip it and to start explaining himself. He told me that they wouldn’t start taking apprentices until DUSK, so why were they full at NOON? And no, I still don’t like his response. Just thinking about it has me riled up again!
He said that they must’ve “switched it up” today, and said that’s just the way it crumbles. Unbelievable! I asked for my money back.
And who would’ve guessed. This guy was instantly on the floor blubbering and whining. He begged me to reconsider, right there in front of his shop, told me he could “easily” fix this, that he could give me an “alternative.” My first instinct was to say no and just take my money back, but…
I decided I’d level with him. What in the world could be enough of an “alternative” to match Wigglytuff’s Guild?
He was on his feet with a bunch of “thank yous” once he figured that I wasn’t about to commit murder, and he said he’d write in a few favors and set me up with a different Explorer’s Guild, one based in Capim Town. I would just have to “commit” to this. Meaning my money would be dust in the wind if I said yes.
I don’t think I made the right choice at all, but there’s no going back now.
After I got done with him - and made sure he ran off to write those “favors,” I went my way back towards Spinda’s. Saw a few Krabby heading south at the crossroads, towards the beach, so they must be getting ready to do their daily bubble-blowing thing. Maybe I’ll watch later.
I headed inside Spinda’s. I must’ve came just in time, since it looked like I missed lunch rush. Everyone who was in already had all their orders, so I dodged a bullet. I approached Spinda’s counter and pulled up a stool.
I told her the news, and that I would probably be heading to Capim Town. She sighed and said she was expecting Kecleon to screw me over, which was news to me. I asked her where the warning was, since she’s suddenly a Psychic-type now, and she shrugged and said she had “bad vibes” from the start, and that Kecleon just looked super sleazy.
Yeah, I get that NOW, but I would’ve appreciated a heads up before I gave him three thousand Poké!
I groaned and rested my wings on the countertop. I was debating slamming my head down in the hopes this was just a bad dream, but it sounded too risky. If this wasn’t a dream, I’d not only be hurting, but Spinda would chew me out for messing up her stuff.
Spinda grabbed a glass from the shelf, and then she told me that I shouldn’t feel too bad about being rejected, since only the top 5% of folks who apprentice as Explorers make it past the first two weeks of training. The rest die in dungeons violently, and only 1% of dungeoneer bodies are ever recovered and all that other stuff.
Thanks Spinda.
Grass or Sky, she asked. I felt like Grass. I watched her mix and shake the drink, listening to her ramble about how both good and bad company come into her cafe, all because of that Guild. How Guilds always seem to bring trouble to their towns and how Wigglytuff’s Guild isn’t even the worst about it.
How she remembers this one pair who always seemed to bring in trouble, and then after that she pretty much flew into the typical anti-dungeoneer spiel. Started getting into how I should find a “real job” and how the young folk keep throwing their lives away mindlessly.
Do I agree with her? Absolutely not! If we’re gonna keep having these weird Mystery Dungeon things pop up everywhere, then SOMEONE oughta make an effort to figure it all out. Might as well be me. Or, well… someone. I guess it won’t really be me anytime soon, especially if this “alternative” isn’t anything good.
I kept silent long enough for her to slide over the Gummi shake to me. I downed it as soon as it touched my wing. Pretty good, like usual. I gave her a “thanks'' and she asked me if I could do her a favor.
So she wants me to deliver something to one of her friends. “Friendly Rival,” I think was the actual words, but honestly? If you’re “friendly rivals” for more than three months, you’re not rivals, you’re probably just some weird couple.
Well, not my place to judge. I said I’d handle it, because I totally get why she doesn’t want to send it by mail. The post service has been hiking its prices to the point of it being flat out robbery. That’s Alakanomics for ya.
After I got done getting over my hopes and dreams being crushed into tiny little bits, I was on cleaning duty for the rest of the day. Being a Flying-type with Defog really helps get the dirt and stuff out from under the tables. Halfway through my shift I had cleaned up most of the cafe - and then someone got a big win at the recycle shop.
THE big win.
Yeah, I hate working at Spinda’s cafe. Getting mauled by a wild is better than having to work your tail feathers off trying to clean up a giant mess before the light of a Luminous Orb fades out.
Rest of the shift was the usual off-season day. A few dungeoneers and the like. Tonight I wasn’t all that interested in hearing their stories, though. I put my work stuff away and was about to head into the back when I noticed Kecleon slinking in. On the off chance that it was actually good news, I went up to him.
He told me that I should get my stuff ready, and that I can head over to Capim Town with a letter. Looks like he’s hooked me up with this “alternative.” I asked for more details, and he said he got me an apprenticeship at the Clover Guild. Immediate red flag right there - who’s Clover? I’ve never heard of a Pokémon species named Clover.
Unless he meant those little Clovour things that nobody can prove exist. Is he trying to cheese me or something?
That’s when he told me that the Guild wasn’t actually named after the Guildmaster. It was just named ‘Clover.’ Now that’s BEYOND weird. Something was fishy about this already. Any self-respecting Guild names themselves after the Guildmaster, or what type of dungeoneering they specialize in, or even the town they’re based in. Clover isn’t any of those, and frankly I’ve never even heard of this ‘Clover Guild’.
What’s their credentials? Any recent discoveries? What do they specialize in? Do they have a good training program? NONE of these got a satisfying answer. Kecleon just said “you’ll like them” and that was that. No turning back now.
I’m supposed to head to Capim Town tomorrow and get myself sorted out. Guess I’m locked in… Kecleon’ll probably skip town and I’ll never see or hear from him ever again, so I won’t even get the satisfaction of beating him to a pulp if this turns out bad.
Spinda wished me luck with the Guildwork and turned in for the night. >>> Note to self: Don’t forget her package. <<<
So this is it. This is what’s happening, I guess. This is where my life’s going. Tomorrow’s the day. At least I’m not on a time crunch or anything, so I don’t have to worry about oversleeping, but…
Just what IS this Clover Guild?
Saturday
I was up early. Of course when it doesn’t even matter, I’m up just in time for sunrise.
I wanted to visit the beach again before I left. So I did.
I don’t know how long I was there, long enough to watch the sunrise at least. Whenever I visit this beach, I always lose track of time. Something about it just seemed… right. That it was right to be here, that it was where I was meant to be.
Everytime I told myself it was time to go, my heart said I needed to stay for a while longer. It always felt like I was waiting for something. Maybe someone. Someone who never shows. This place would be the perfect spot to meet that someone. Someone new… someone special. Someone who’d stick by you for, well, forever.
But no matter how long I wait, it’s still only me at the end.
In the end, it’s always just me.
I don’t really believe in mushy stuff like destiny or all of that, but the beach always has me thinking about things like that, for the whole day even. You always hear about it in stories; one mon meets another, and they become so inseparable, so strong together, that they wind up saving the world.
I don’t know if anything like that really exists.
And with this Clover Guild… the name doesn’t even sound right. Should I even bother with this Clover Guild? Is it even a Guild? If I walk in there and show them Kecleon’s letter, are they even gonna know who they are? What if Kecleon paid them off, and I just wind up dead once I show? There’s so many ways this could go wrong.
It took me a while to realize that there were bubbles being blown across the sky. I looked towards the cliffs, and I could see specks of red. Krabby. They must do that bubble thing at sunrise too. It was nice to know that I wasn’t entirely alone out here, despite it being so early. The bubbles were a nice touch.
I’m hoping Capim has a nice view too.
I was so focused on the sunrise that I didn’t even notice the Krabby walking up to me, not until it said hello. I was relaxed enough not to jump, so I managed to give him an ‘hey' back. I was admiteddly pretty awkward the whole time, but then again I don't usually talk to random strangers on the beach.
The Krabby stared at the sunrise, said it was beautiful. Even better than when the sun sets. I get that. The sunrise at least symbolizes a new day. A sunset closes it out for the night, and that’s kinda it. No more sunlight, just the moon.
Krabby asked me what I was thinking about. I normally wouldn’t dump all of my issues on some random dude or anything, but he asked, and the beach had me sentimental. Besides, the Krabby was probably the only one who I could whine about this to. Who else would sit through my sob story?
My reflection in the bubbles seemed to give me the okay, so I told the Krabby everything. A little bit too much, probably. Surprisingly, he listened. All the way through. Even when I started getting maybe a bit too graphic about Kecleon. I’m still pretty pissed. And tired. And, well… emotional in general.
I only realized that I might have sounded a bit insane at the end after I got done trauma-dumping. I laughed it off and tried to pivot, but the Krabby actually didn’t seem to care. He just… put his claw on my back. I got a pat on the back from a Krabby.
I got a little teary-eyed.
He told me to look at the bubbles. Said that no matter how hard he and the other Krabby try, that they can never really tell where the bubbles were going to end up. That they throw them out to the wind, and the wind takes over and carries them wherever the wind wants them to go. Said that the bubbles just let themselves drift along, and every so often they jerk a bit, trying to break free from the wind, seeing if it’s their time to break free of the draft.
Then he said that we’re a lot like those bubbles, and that trying to go our own way will sometimes get us blown over, because we can’t fight the wind when it comes through. That sometimes it’s better to let yourself be caught up in the breeze instead, and to drift. To save your energy until you think it’s your chance to break free. Only pushing when you think it’s your time to leave the current. And if you don’t break free, then that’d be okay, since it wouldn’t hurt as much as just being blown right over.
And that’s when he said that we shouldn’t hate the wind for pushing us along, because it’s only trying to help. Because the wind can see things we can’t, and take us to places we can’t go on our own. That the wind has a unique perspective.
I’m not sure what exactly clicked, but I felt a bit more confident about throwing it in with this guild. What’s the worst that could happen?
I thanked the Krabby and decided that was the best time to go. I’m back at the cafe and writing in this part of my journal before I head out.
I think the hardest part is having to leave Spinda, Wynaut, and Wobbuffet. They’ve all been pretty good to me… the closest thing I’ve had to an actual family. Hopefully they’ll be alright without me around.
Ah, well, better not start the waterworks or anything too early. I’ll still be able to visit them, it’s not like I’m going to another continent or something. And I’ll write back first thing once I get to Capim Town.
It’s a pretty long flight away, and the Lapras liner doesn’t make any stops at Treasure Town, so I’m on my own. I’ll have to fly all the way to Cotton valley, rest for the night, and then from there I’ll be in Capim by noon, unless I get blasted out of the sky or something.
So if you find this journal, and this is where it ends by any chance, yeah. Please go find my body while you’re at it and uh send it to Spinda’s Cafe. Thanks.
>>> AND TELL THE COPS THAT KECLEON OF TREASURE TOWN WAS BEHIND IT! <<<
I just know that scumbag would be the one to take me out, if anyone.
Sunday
Oh, this is bad. Where to even start?
Well, half of my day was spent running around trying to find a “Beast Winchester.” Capim’s the biggest town on the Grass Continent, so trying to find ONE mon is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. I just wanted to get this delivery out of the way so I could focus the rest of the day on figuring out if I liked the Clover Guild or not.
And if I didn’t like the Clover Guild, then it’d be on how to salvage my life. If it was even salvageable at this point.
I realized that dear ol’ Spinda forgot to mention where the hell Beast even lives just as I flew into Capim Town. It was a little before noon, and there was no way my wings were flying me back to Treasure Town to ask. So I was on my own. Great.
Now, I’ll give credit where it’s due, Capim Town really built up their docks. The boardwalk was actually pretty expansive now, and there were a few stalls here and there. I felt pretty comfortable. At first. Capim Town was tailor-built for Grass-types, I mean: living out of hollowed out trees? A sprawling lower city with flowers and leaves and all that good stuff? Fresh air with lots of sun? Yeah, it was pretty obvious a Grass-type had a hand in the designs or something.
But that’s about where my praise for this place ends. Mons around here are pretty… weird.
I went into Cafe Connection for directions, because I knew tracking down this Beast dude would take half the day. There was a Carnivine working the front desk. Sweet, I thought, since it was a Grass-type and I’m a Grass-type and it should be a pleasant conversation and all that.
It was not.
He glared at me like I had just docked his pay or something, and then when I said “good morning,” he got all hissy and asked me if I was disrespecting him and called me his “bruv.” I glanced up at him from behind my parcel, sweating as he went on this whole rant about how saying “good morning” is an insult and that it’s a cursed phrase, and how it’s actually me saying good MOURNING, like I’m mourning someone’s death.
This guy went on for about two full minutes on this topic ALONE, before I finally managed to calm him down and ask him about Beast. But this got him pissed all OVER again. He called me “undercity trash” and told me to go back to the slums. I left before this guy could fly into another rant.
What a nutcase.
Well, he mentioned something about the undercity, so I headed to the lower levels. The upper levels of Capim Town are a bit more open and spacious, and that kind of layout was a bit more, uh, trustworthy, I guess. The lower levels of the town were a whole different ballgame. Houses were bunched up together, packed in and nestled under the underbrush. They definitely made the sun work overtime to touch these spots, that’s for sure. Could’ve sworn I saw mons peeking out of their houses to watch me.
The air was way different than the upper levels, because despite that Carnivine yelling at me, I at least didn’t feel like I could be dragged into an alleyway any second and vanish completely. Thinking about it, I might have wandered too far into the bad parts of town.
Saw a Teddiursa lying on the ground surrounded by berry juice, looked like a few bricks were thrown at him, must’ve knocked him out.
Read a few signs, apparently there was a five star restaurant named the Hawthorne in the lower plaza. I think I vaguely remember Spinda talking about Beast’s restaurant, so I went to check it out. I reached the lower plaza, if you could even call it that, and to my surprise I pretty easily found the “five star restaurant.”
It burned down. It’s ash.
There was a whole notice in front of the place and everything, as if the giant burn mark in the ground wasn’t enough. “The Hawthorne struck by lightning bolt! Closed until further notice! Please understand!”
Cripes, what in the world happened? Was the food so bad that the good Alpha himself had to smite the place?
I wandered around aimlessly for a bit. Saw a Scraggy with some weird cloak on hiding out in between some of the houses. We locked eyes for a second, and he just scowled. Asked him if he’s seen a “Beast Winchester” around anywhere. He told me questions like that might get me stabbed around here.
Noted.
Then he said he’ll tell me what he knows IF I buy some of the “good stuff.” He opened up his coat. He was holding on to a bunch of berries: Figies, Wikis, Magos and Iapapas. The ones that brick you flat, or get you tipsier than a Ludicolo on a Friday night.
I realized that finding this Beast dude shouldn’t be my top priority. I quickly left the lower levels. I figured that I needed to go about this a different way, and that I should just try to do other things and look for Beast as I do so. But the only other stop I had to make was…
The Clover Guild. Hoo boy.
Unlike Beast, the Guild was easy to find, considering it was a giant hollowed out tree around the outskirts of the town. It was no Wigglytuff’s Guild, but I guess I liked the nature-y feel of it. Reminds me of Spinda’s cafe a little bit. They also had a grate like at Wigglytuff’s, but looking at it made me pause. It just felt sinister for some reason. I had never really heard of this place before since it was such a recent build, so I didn’t know what to expect.
In fact, my first instinct was to just turn around and walk away, and never look back. But I couldn’t do that, I promised myself I’d at least give them a chance. It was like the Krabby said, you gotta let the wind blow you along a bit. So I mustered up some willpower, set my stuff on the ground nearby, and stepped onto the grate.
And I stood there. Aaaand stood there. Aaaaaaaaaaand stood there. For a solid minute. Whoever was on sentry duty must’ve been asleep on the job, because it genuinely took almost a minute before I heard the callouts. It was a sort of half-hearted, incredibly unprofessional voice. You know how WIgglytuff’s Guild gives you that kind of “POKÉMON DETECTED, POKÉMON DETECTED!” that kinda just jumps into your soul and startles you a bit?
This was more like a “pokémon detected.” There’s no oomph there! Red flag number one. Red flag number two is how bad they were at figuring out my footprint - I mean at first they guessed Torchic, which is still just unbelievable. I look NOTHING like one!
THEN they guessed Murkrow, which I think speaks for itself. What kind of guild can’t even get a good sentry? I’m not even gonna bother listing out the other callouts, because none of them were right. Eventually the doors just opened. Just like that. They gave up. Didn’t even bother with actual questions.
I couldn’t believe it. What if I had a blast seed on me? They just let anyone walk in if they can’t guess the footprint? That’s not exactly comforting!
I awkwardly headed into the entrance chamber. Points for the interior design, I guess. They really knew how to work with wood.
Too bad they had a fire hazard walking around.
A Cyndaquil kinda shambled out of nowhere, and with how fast he appeared I was guessing he was the sentry. We kinda stood there for a second before they just got this weird smirk on their face. It had me shivering - it STILL has me shivering. He started talking in a creepy voice, and rubbed his hands together for good measure.
I’ve never cringed so hard in my life. THIS is their sentry? He’s a creep! I tried to ignore that look he had on, and instead I asked for that Beast guy, which was its own little mistake. I think I said I was looking for a “Beast,” something along those lines. I can barely remember because that Cyndaquil was so traumatizing. Oh, but what I DO remember is his response.
The Cyndaquil gave me a hideous smirk and pointed at himself, but… downwards.
I swear to Alpha, I should’ve called the cops right then and there. I think every part of my body stiffened for a fight, because I had a feeling I needed to fight this guy off soon.
Imagine my relief when I saw a Meowstic pop out of nowhere and start lecturing Mr. Beast there. The Meowstic and made the creep slink off like the hideous disgusting creature they were. I’ve never been so grateful to the Alpha above.
We talked for a minute, I explained why I was here, and this Meowstic - Lee-yam I think - clapped his paws together and said Beast was their cook. Yeah, that worked out nicely. He offered to show me around, and probably find Beast in the process. I said yes, and we headed straight towards the mess hall, which was through a connection to the lobby. Pretty convenient design, since it’s right next to the front door.
The mess hall was actually pretty nice looking. Or at least, I think it was up to modern health standards. Probably. I’ll look into that later, because I’m not risking eating anything out of here. Might give me Swinub flu or something. Lee-yam called out for Beast, and I heard grunting and a few “sentence-enhancers.” From a little connection in the back came a Munchlax wearing a dirty apron. They looked like they hated this place.
Gee, couldn’t imagine why.
I told them I had a delivery of sorts. From their friend Spinda. He started barking about how she must still be pitying him and how he doesn’t need her help at all. Buddy, you’re working with the CLOVER Guild, I think you should be taking all the help you can get!
I got a grunt of thanks and they vanished through a door in the back of the hall, probably to the kitchen or storage room or whatever. Lee-yam didn’t seem too surprised, said he was “always like that.” Seemed to me like he was a new hire. Hey, I’d be grumpy too if I was dealing with that Cyndaquil day in and out. Imagine trying to eat with him slinking around.
So then we got on with the tour of the whole Guild and… boy oh boy. What kind of rinky dink operation was this dump running? Half of the guild members were walking into walls, and the other half were talking about things I’ve never even heard of. Things you’d hear from an Xatu after hitting it with Confuse Ray. There were a few mons standing with their arms stretched out. They were cornering a Gimmighoul and making it cry.
I’m not sure what a “redditor” is, but it must be pretty bad if it’s getting that much of a reaction out of the poor guy.
So this place is a madhouse, that’s clear to see. I practically dove into Lee-yam’s chambers when he showed me them.
Oh, yeah. This guy’s the Guild Master. Imagine my shock; he’s the most normal looking mon so far, so it makes sense he has to wrangle these weirdos. I wanted to know why he didn’t tell me that sooner, and all he did was smile and say something vague about how it “wasn’t a good time” or something along those lines, something paranoid-sounding.
You would think you would just INTRODUCE yourself as the Guildmaster straight away, this is YOUR Guild!
Bah, Psychic-types. They’re always messing around. Anyways, that’s when he sat down. I asked him if he wanted to see Kecleon’s letter, considering it was supposed to be my ticket into this place. I wasn’t sold on JOINING yet, obviously, but I wanted the option. But when I gave Kecleon’s letter to him, Lee-yam smirked almost immediately. I blinked and waited patiently, before the Meowstic looked up and gave me a headshake.
When he gave me back the letter, I couldn’t believe what I was reading. It was a complaint form addressed to my mother, with directions to fill it out and mail it back to her! Kecleon lied AGAIN, that no-good thieving scam artist! He probably skipped Treasure Town by now and is halfway across the planet with MY money!
I was about to explode. I said I was gonna kill that Kecleon, and I think Lee-yam couldn’t hold anything else in. He started laughing about the situation as he crumpled up the paper with his mind powers or whatever. He told me that, duped or not, I was here now, and he also didn’t see anything wrong with actually letting me into the guild. Free of charge, too, since apparently I had already “paid.”
Ha ha, so funny. You know what was funnier?
The AUDACITY.
I mean, I LAUGHED. I really, really did. This guild is the pits, its members are completely insane, this place is just a health-code violating dump! I wonder how this place flew under the Federation’s radar, because this should’ve been shut down AGES ago! I just couldn’t believe that he’d think I’d be so stupid, so poor, so desperate, so DUMB, as to join this trash heap of a “Guild!”
So anyway, I’m now an apprentice at the Clover Guild. Right now I’m busy trying to make an actual bed for myself. The weird flat cotton-pile on four legs thing they have going is nice and all, but I really just prefer straw beds here. I asked the Guildmaster if there was any straw or something similar, and he said that they got rid of all their straw ages ago, because some weirdo hated straw or whatever, I wasn’t paying attention.
I had to go out and start gathering whatever I could. Borrowed some straw from Cafe Connection, grabbed some twigs scattered around and some driftwood from the docks, and I had to keep it all matted down with some rocks. Homemade nest, pretty cozy looking. It’s not like the beds at Spinda’s, but it’ll do for now.
I’ve been preening this thing all day, trying to make sure the stuff I gathered doesn’t give me every illness in the book. I don’t know what kind of shack this Guild is trying to be, but I’ve never seen a place just outright get rid of all their straw. Makes no sense.
Listen, I wouldn’t have joined this place in any other situation, but I GUESS Lee-yam made some pretty good points when I said no. Anything that’ll get me close enough to smash that blue Kecleon’s head on the asphalt is good for me. Besides, I really, REALLY had nowhere else to go. Well, I DID, I just - okay, I really didn’t want to have to fly all the way back to Treasure Town. That flight is exhausting, it’s like one day straight of flying, at minimum.
And I’m desperate to be an Explorer. Maybe TOO desperate, but live and learn.
I know someone out there is probably expecting me to go “oh I think I’ll come around, the Guild might change me!!” or something mushy and hopeful like that, but no, I really don’t believe in this place. In fact, dying here and now would be much less embarrassing than having to tell everyone I apprenticed at the Clover Guild.
Yeah, that’s it. Hopefully I just die on my first mission. That would be perfectly fine too.
In a fiery explosion, ideally. Might as well go out with a bang.
I’ll keep using this journal as a record of whatever happens to me. That way if the cops find it they can lock this whole circus act up.
Tuesday
Two days into this Guild, and it has me wondering how this place hasn’t completely collapsed.
I’ve gone back to my usual sleep schedule by now. I wake up at dusk, go out and catch some of the sun, then I’m back in the Guild to do some chores while everyone else is turning in. Not a lot of mons around here are nocturnal - in fact most of them are pretty much out for the count the second they’ve got their fill - so I haven’t really spoken to anyone much.
I’m fine with that. I really am.
I also haven’t been making myself that noticeable, but that’s on purpose. I’m busy trying to adjust to the culture change around here - mons in these parts like to use their actual names and most of them hate being called their species. Must be a big city kind of thing. Or a big town. So I’ve started to use my name more too. I’ve only really told Lliam and a few others so far.
I’m also not really interested in making friends with anyone around here, except for MAYBE Beast, because at least we both know Spinda. But I really don’t want to talk to anyone else because they’re all kinda - how can I put this?
I know - they’re all weird as hell.
The only team I’ve gotten a chance to learn about is Team Moonshine, the only other group of “nocturnal” mons. They are a barely functional “team” held together by spite and some duct tape. I heard they’re led by an Umbreon named Adrian, and everyone in the Guild avoids him because he looks like he’ll genuinely snap and kill someone any second. I swear he growled at me once when I tried to ask him about something.
Luckily, Adrian keeps to himself almost all the time. If he isn’t dragged out of his room, you won’t ever see him. I don’t get it - yeah, our guildmates are BAD - like REAL bad, but you don't need to act like a literal psychopath, especially if you barely see most of them. No clue how he gets any work done if that’s how he wants to be. Yikes.
The Sylveon - she’s named Enny - she’s very weird. She acts like the leader, she says she’s the leader, but I don’t know for sure, and I don’t care enough to know. It really doesn’t matter who’s leading that mess at the end of the day. She says ‘ara ara’ a lot, and I have no clue what that means. It makes me feel uncomfortable, especially when she starts to get close with her ribbons. I avoid her as often as possible too. No clue why she always smirks when I call her a ‘she.’ Bigger yikes.
I try to keep on good terms with their teammates, Vileplume and Bellossom - I haven’t learned their actual names yet. Anyway, they’re actually NORMAL, and they’ve been showing me how to get around this place. I had to quickly wrap my head around whatever they were able to show me, because I couldn’t risk dealing with their other members.
I think I’d genuinely lose it if I was stuck on a team with those eeveelutions. Moonshine is definite proof that it’s better off working solo. I heard that Lliam - that’s how you spell the Guildmaster’s name, had to figure that out - Lliam sometimes pairs mons up with one another, but for some reason he hasn’t gotten around to doing that with me. Maybe it’s because I’m nocturnal.
Either way, I don’t want a partner. Never needed help in Treasure Town, won’t need help here.
I doubt anyone here is even on my level - I’ve memorized every single piece of Exploration advice out there, so I’m probably gonna ace my first mission, whenever that is. Once I get enough money, I’m ditching this place and going freelance.
I’m gonna finish this entry up here, since it’s still early - well, early in the night. I wanted to go out and start looking for a shop that isn’t owned by the Kecleon brothers or whatever their giant family is called. I’m honestly just sick of Kecleon in general. If they’re not cheapskates, they’re just plain weird. I’d rather not deal with them.
Besides, I’m following a great exploration tip by the famous Explorer, the Steelcarapace - he always said that it’s best to find a shop where an Explorer can work up their own little relationship with. That way, you won’t get screwed over with outrageous prices when you need it. You might even get exclusive deals! It’s a really smart tip, so I’m gonna start with it early on.
Anyway, I need to find a good place to hide this book. I could literally wind up dead if my Guildmates read this. I’m not even joking, I wouldn’t put it past any of them.
I wish I was at Wigglytuff’s. Something about all of this feels wrong, like this shouldn’t have happened the way it did.
Or maybe I’m just looking for an excuse.
Well, I'm here now, so I guess I'll just have to deal with it. Here's to the Clover Guild.
Whoop-dee-doo.