be Inco
home from a long day of pretending to work at your shitbox office job
beats breaking rocks or digging ditches
come home to a darkened condo
you know what that means
somewhere in the dark lurks a vile, violent, vicious little monster
waiting to jump out and bite you, or taze you, or call you demon slurs
your very own Lucy
so you slip off your shoes and start creeping around the living room
you jump around the couch, ready to catch the demon hare assault
but it doesn't come
so you turn a cautious eye to the kitchen
surely she's waiting for you there
you locked up the knives, but usually she just chews off the lock
so you jump into the kitchen and throw on the lights
only to find it empty as well
only a couple egg shells left on the counter
if she's waiting to ambush you in the bathroom, you're not going in there
so that leaves only one spot left
the bedroom
the door is shut
lights are off
you're sure this is it
so you throw open the door and call out
Lucy! (You)'re home!
there's a lump on the bed
beneath the covers in the middle of the bed is a demon hare shaped mass
obviously a decoy
so you jump over to the closet and throw it open
just shoes and that one suit you never wear
and your collection of Hawaiian shirts of course
under the bed then!
you're about to drop and check when the lump on the bed speaks
"I'm on the bed. Stupid."
her voice is trembling
fuck
you heard her like this before
when you met her
you sit on the bed and rest your hand somewhere on the middle of the lump
you ask Lucy what's wrong
"Beezy."
her voice loses its tremble because she spits the word in pure vitriol
hey if she's gonna spit she should do it outside the covers
you still have to wash 'em
Lucy grunts
it's almost a laugh
and she squirms and crawls out of the covers
the fur under her face markings are wet
trails of old tears
what the fuck did Beezy do?
Lucy sniffs
then she growls
flipping between furious and inconsolable
"Fuckin' Beezy. I was out hunting and I saw him stalking that stupid detective hare and I was gonna help him put dog shit in his shoes when he said I couldn't."
what
since when did Beezy tell anyone what to do?
and why?
"He said I'm not a demon hare."
you blink
that's bullshit
you have burn scars to prove otherwise
"He said I'm too soft. I'm like a human."
she snarls again
baring sharp fangs
"I'll show him soft! I'll rip his stupid head off and bath in his blood and fistfuck his headless--"
whoa
easy Luce
no need to get Mikey sicced on the two of you
again
Lucy grunts
"No. I'm gonna. I'm gonna show him and that stuck up bitch and your stupid little brother and that badger! I'm a demon hare!"
she is
you know she is
she knows she is
and you both know Beezy is full of shit
so what's the matter?
the anger crumbles again
and Lucy groans
"I think he's right."
Lucy reaches out for you
and you pick her up to set her on your lap
she starts rubbing her face on your cheek
"I'm not like I was before. I still like fuckin' and fightin' and messin' with those stupid angel hares think they're so high and might--"
sounds like the same old Lucy to you
"But I'm not! I'm softer. I like humans. I saw this stupid idiot fall over and I only laughed for thirty seconds, and then--and then I helped him up!"
whoa
that sounds like a legitimate good deed
Lucy wails and gnashes her teeth
"I know! I couldn't help it! I just--I thought 'what if Inco fell down?' and then I wanted to help."
well
seems like she was showing a little empathy
"Demon hares aren't supposed to have empathy!"
says who?
you rub your cheek against Lucy's, and rub her back gently
she can do whatever she likes and fuck Beezy or any asshole who tells her otherwise
she can be whatever she likes
Lucy sniffles
"But if I'm not a demon hare, what am I?"
only she can decide that
she could always go find that guy and trip him again
Lucy huffs
another almost laugh
"No. Too much work."
well
she could go talk to one of the angels
they might be able to help with this sort of thing
"No. No they'd just want to smite me. They can't help me."
maybe, maybe not
but you're here
you can help her
Lucy sighs
"Yeah. You're too dumb to kick me out."
that and you know
you love her
"Kss. That's the shit. This love bullshit."
yeah
it'll fuckin' kill ya
"Hm. Love you too though."
you squeeze Lucy
and she hugs you back
no matter what she decides she wants to be
you'll be by her side
We'll get through this. Together.
"Thanks Inco."
you cuddle with Lucy for a while
then you stand to get started on dinner
Lucy trots along and offers to help in the kitchen
it's only later that night that you find the sign she somehow taped to your back when you hugged her
'Kick Me, I'm a sentimental dipshit'