[High Plains Drifters]

Billy Kido

"The fella with the glowstick? Ran across his leftovers before, so I can say he's slick - too slick. Most folks don't take too kindly to havin' my girl up in their guts, but it's a moment just for us. It's somethin' special. What's special about cuttin' someone up and movin' on like they ain't even there? It's too damn cold for my tender heart."

[Last Action Heroes]

Marcus 'Marc' Cassius Allen

"Oh yeah, hear there's some merc runnin' around in a can. Think his name was Killfuck? Gets hot in that getup, I bet. Wouldn't catch me coverin' like that, but a lil sweat ain't a bad trade for bein' a walking tank."

[Neo-Barbarians]

Hannah Ossus

"My kinda jungle freak! Chiseled but soft where it matters, y'know? Got the right attitude too. Wouldn't mind showin' her around, that's for sure."

Isha, Princess of the Verzon Tribe

"Less meat on her than I like got her type, but she's cute enough. Don't matter anyhow cause she wants a stud. Must be real baby crazy. Guess I sorta get it, but I don't got time for brats. Like myself a handful too much anyway."

Magnues Wang

"Who? Don't see what some fella from the north would have to do with me. Maybe that princess chick would like 'em."

Lin

"Wouldn't mind wrestling her while boozed up. Wouldn't mind takin' apart that fancy sword of hers either. Don't think I'd meet her standards even with a pecker, though. Could still make good company."

[Bunker-Babies]

Yuki Kikuchi

"Never been happier for those bunkers than settin' eyes on her. Yeah, she's got some fine brains, but they don't keep her from havin' a good time. Runs around actin' all cute n' gawking at everything. How's a gal like mr not gonna make some trouble with the lass? Sometimes I just wanna put er' on a leash n' see where we end up."

Dr. Remilia Rochefort

"I've given the Doc a few visits. Does the best work I've seen. Love a girl that can carry a tune, but she's a bit too clean for me. Don't spend enough time around her when I ain't bleedin' to feel much of any kinda way."

Quinn Chase, a.k.a The Boss

"The sight makes me cry! He's a real fun one — even got a cute face. What he don't got is tits. A cryin' shame... Well, somethin' whim him and Bee might work."

The Crew of the Argo - James / Thomas / Harrison / Jonathan / Richard

"I've seen the bird in the sky, but it ain't none of my unless someone shoots it down."

Alexander S. Luthor

"One of those roaches crawled out and started talkin' real nice to folks that matter. Seem like he wants to get this place in order. Well, count this gal out."

Maya Liang

"Freaky in a good way. Can't help wantin' to rip her open and peek inside. She's a real work of at y'know? Course that doesn't seem to be how she sees it. Some music might make her feel better, but this ain't the same as fixin' a busted doohickey. Maybe the Doc do somethin'?"

Dimir Leksirei

"Personally, I'd rather let the Doc stitch me up or get Yuki to put me back together. He doesn't seem bad, but ya gotta be a bit screwy to tip yourself up. Nothin' wrong with being screwy. Just ain't my thing."

[Settlement Survivors]

Nikto

"Some psyhcic psycho. You'd think he'd be more fun with all those tricks, but he sounds like a real downer. Might as well kick the bucket if ya ain't gonna live."

Dr. Charles Crane

"Guess the desert's got a doc too. Nice for when I'm bleedin' out here but don't seem any more fun than the Doc."

Sage

"Can't believe those eggheads would keep a cutie like her all to themselves. Heard she's good with critters, so maybe she could help me out? I like 'em well enough, but they don't seem to like me."

Mike the Driver

"A shmucks with a ride. I already got a ride."

Ricky W. Booth

"He's got a bird and some slick moves from what I hear. Could make a good drinkin' buddy if I can't find Bee."

Kara Ramirez

"Just the sweetest lil' thing you'll find. But don't let her fool ya — this one's a real tease! I love my sweets with spice and she's got it in spades. Sure, she ain't exactly my usual type, but I can appreciate what a gal has. The way she gets pissed more than makes up for being on the smaller side. Course the cooking's a nice perk too. Trouble is she won't go for a fling. Hell, what's a gal like me supposed to do about that? I got sights to see and shows to play! More sweet things to meet if I'm lucky. Even I did hunker down...what's next?"

Ultra Magnus

"Another man in a can, but this one's more my speed. Got drive, ya know? Can't say I get the religious stuff. Makes me want to write somethin' about him, though."

Lockely Aimes

"Those pansies got some lass flyin' all around. Wonder what she's lookin' for? Must be important they haven't lost it while cooped up in their university. Could grab her whenever she lands n' make her talk, but I don't got the patience for that sorta thing."

Heli Matharom

"A chick that likes makin' things burn sounds like she should be a fun time, right? Well, this one's got a chip on her shoulder. Seems nice with my favorite cook, so maybe there's something there. I'll have to catch her the next time drop by the Laddle."

Nick

"This guy's funny. Nah, it ain't that I don't believe him — I just can't get over how dull he is. Where's the pizzazz? Might be different if I saw him in action, but ya can't the bastard out from any other. He's gotta figure out how to put on a show before he worries about fightin'."

Georgia Dolittle

"I definitely ain't takin' care of anyone else's brats."

Lance

"Great thing he's got going. Almost perfect. Almost. Know what it needs? Some kick-ass tunes. I love havin' my audience able to see the magic in person, but everyone deserves a taste. Out of the goodness of my heart, honest."

Aaron Cob A.K.A. The ANT KING

"Guess I should hate him or somethin' on account of the whole raider thing. Love 'em though. How couldn't ya? Runnin' around with those ants and beatin' folks up while shoutin'? Make me think there's hope for the wasteland yet. Ain't gonna stop doing what I want, though."

Chloe

"Some kiddo was wonderin' around with her pet, I hear. Found some folks to keep, so I guess she'd doing fine. Not that it's any of business."

David "Profit" Wiles

"Another one that breaks my poor heart. Sounds like a fun time, so it's a shame that he doesn't seem to get out. Might have to come and see how good of a time he is. It has been a while since I got shot."

Sir Philippe Dubois of New Orleans

"His shtick ain't as fun as the other good-goodies and he ain't my favorite can. Sounds like he'd be worse than the usual roaches."

Squire Marie Lonelle

"What the hell? This guy's got a lil lady chasin' his rusty skirt? Fuck. I hate babysitting, but I gotta get some groupies."

[Raiders]

Queen Bee (Becka, to her folks.)

Always a good time when she's around — not just cause of the music we make either! Lovin' while my head's in the clouds is a pleasure for sure, but she knows how to have a good time outta bed too. Days with Bee can be a bit of a blur. Good ones, though - swear I've done some of my best work with that girl."

[Mutants]

Sasha the Snake
"Twit-twoo Now that's a lotta woman! Most folks seem to hate muties, but ol' Calii's always for trying somethin' new. Is it weird I wanna keep her as a pet? Never had one before n' I figure a snake with a nice rack ain't a bad place to start. I'd take real good care ofer. Feed her, kiss her, even sing her lullabies if she wants. How hard could it be?"

Ramses

"I ain't worried. Some mutie talks about takin' over every other week and none of 'em ever get far. If any of 'em think I'm gonna start groveling then their brains are more screwed up than their outsides."

The Nymphs - Glimmer / Bliss / Doe / Kitty / Sprite

"A group of swamp beauties don't so bad at all. Might even make for decent backup singers if not for the itty-bitty issue of them eatin' folks. Suppose it wouldn't matter as long as they didn't eat me or the audience, though.

Samson

"See! Keepin' a mutie pet can't be too strange if lasses like them are doing it. Don't know if they're screwin' him, but he seems happy to me. Might be a hard sell for the audience if I get the rest..."

Karnak

"Fella's fun to listin' to when I got nothin' better to do."

Brunnea "Sunny" Brown!

"Like his style. Put me in the mood to make somethin' jazzy. Heard he's scared of chicks, though. What's that about? Just bein' around a pretty thing gets me in a better mood."

Tuma

"Some fish sneakin' around lookin' for somethin'. Like those shy birds, I guess. Well, I wasn't a fish last time I checked and that's all the lass is interested in."

Dr Acheron

"The muties got a doc too, but I trust 'em even less than the metal messiah. Ya really got work on your image if ya want anyone to not shoot ya or themselves before you start rantin' about takin; over."

[Robots]

H0P3

"Ain't nothin' special about a bot knowin' stuff. It'd be a crap bot if it didn't. Anyway, I got cuter options if I can't find somethin' scavenging. Hear she ain't programmed to fight either. Might be worth scrappin' or swingin' by to liberate some goodies."

C.C.A.M.U. (Amu for short)

"Been meaning to swing by the scrap heap in the swamps. Normally it'd be to strip it for parts but sounds like there's a feisty bot around that wants to fix it up. I ain't exactly the sweetest lil lamb, but it could be a fun gig. Plus, she might be cute."

Phi

"Can she tell jokes? Pretty sure I read somewhere that's what jesters do. Guess she's a bit funny even if she can't. Never seen the point in clingin' to the past like that. Sure, I like collectin' some stuff but it's different. Can't just not give an old record a listen, y'know? Anyway, why can't all bots look so fine?"

Vicior

"Woulda expected somethin' a little prettier, but I guess those University boys don't have an eye for art. I bet Profit could outgun him. Even if he can't, what's it matter? Nothin' special about bein' told how to shoot."