I took in a deep breath, the light mist thrown to the sky by the wake of the ship cooling the air around me, giving it an aroma of freshly-overturned seawater that could be found only on open ocean. The sun, at its daily zenith, shone overhead, its light sparkling over the endless waves as shimmering crystals of white light.
As a human, I always loved the ocean, an indicator of a vacation with family or friends, a place where I would make memories I could forever cherish in my heart.
As an eevee, it was indicative of a great new adventure to be had, a new journey with new companions in a new world.
But as a vaporeon… the seawater in my face, scent of brine in my nose, the distinct taste of salt on my tongue and droplets of mist against my fur, all a reminder that the choice I made in Eeveelution Forest was the right one.
Well, save for the inexplicable desire to throw myself overboard and go for a swim. That was a feeling I didn’t know I’d need to resist.
And as all three…
Immediately, I pushed the thought aside and tried to think of something else, of what else I might experience on some deeper level than before. My mind turned to storms.
*Considering how much I loved storms as a human, the roll of thunder overhead, the smell of the petrichor and the gentle hum of rain against the window, I wonder how amazing it would be as a vaporeon. *
As a human, I thought a small sadness rising within, I loved storms until that dream I had as a human that-
Once again, I pushed the thought aside. Clearly, I thought, this is occupying too much of my mind.
I turned back to Althi, who was looking at me expectantly, a subtle smile and eyes beaming curiosity visible through the wind gently tussling her “flaps” every which way.
“Well, to answer your question, Althi,” I said, “it feels much more incredible than before, like I… like I am more in-tune with the world, with the sea. And that’s not even my favorite part of water. I love storms – except for the- – so I can’t imagine how amazing a feeling that might be.”
Althi grew visibly excited, taking in a big huff of breath before exhaling and saying, “you know, d’Alin, I was never the biggest fan of winter. It would get cold and dark, but the one thing I did love was the snow. I knew that whenever Pirth’s coat would change, fun times were ahead. Pirth always trollops in the snow, and he loves the silence that accompanies it. So those are all pluses. But-”
At this she looked intently at me with a hint of pity that I felt I could do without and said, “Beyond all of that, glaceon felt just right. I don’t know why you didn’t become one too, especially if you felt how I felt but… I’m happy for you. Seeing you describe the ocean like that, well, I am very much excited for a snowstorm, to play with Pirth again and feel the same happiness he does. To feel more connected with the world like you.”
At the mentioning of Pirth and their playtime together from years ago, Althi appeared to drift off into a pleasant memory, her eyes looking over the horizon at nothing in particular and the cold aura surrounding her intensifying just a small degree.
“Speaking of Pirth,” I said, the movement of my mouth catching Althi’s attention so she could “listen” to me, “what exactly was-”
“Hey,” interrupted Althi, “I can tell you’re speaking loudly. Whisper.”
“Why? Isn’t Pirth below deck with Arimis?”
“I can’t hear, d’Alin, but Pirth sure can. Extremely well, from what I’ve seen others say. You saw how good he’s gotten with his ears.”
I did. I recalled how in Beach Cave he relied mostly on Althi, directing him to attack ferals like a piece of artillery. And how in Ruined Roost his ears twitched wildly and he was able to discern where ferals were and even sidestep attacks.
How much has changed in 25 days.
At that thought, I was struck by a moment of awe.
I did the calculations earlier in a fit of boredom. 25 days since I arrived and already it feels like a lifetime. I’ve met new friends. I’ve been guided by and… lost a mentor, someone who had faith in me. Evolved. Travelled between continents. All in 25 days. I wonder what the future might hold.
…a future where Pirth still refuses to believe he is a deerling- er, sawsbuck.
“Althi,” I whispered, returning to the subject, “what exactly are we going to do about Pirth? I mean, what happened in Eeveelution Forest? ‘Super-leafeon?’ How far are we going to run with this?”
Althi looked at me and I could see in her eyes that I had posed a question she had been trying to find the answer to for a long time. “I don’t know,” came the reply, “I honestly thought that Pirth meeting other leafeons and them telling him he’s a deerling would finally break the truth, but I guess if you’re blind you don’t know the difference between a deerling and leafeon anyways.”
“Christ, Althi. We really should figure out what to do so that Pirth doesn’t try to kill anyone who has a pair of working eyes.”
No solution, however, emerged, and we both lapsed into a calm silence and turned to overlook the blue seas and the lighter-blue horizon above, both stretching out into infinity.
Althi leaned her head against my shoulder, and I felt a jolt of cold surge through my body from both the surprise as well as the fact that she was actually cold to the touch. Quickly, however, it subsided, and was replaced with a soothing cooling which helped beat out the overhead sun.
I was happy to know, at least, as we both reveled in the moment of absolutely nothing, that even though I had evolved into a vaporeon, I was still able to enjoy the cold as much as before.
“d’Alin?” Althi asked after who knows how long we were staring out into the serene nothingness.
“Yes?” I said, turning to her so she could “listen.”
“I was just thinking, what word is it that you use?
“What exactly do you mean, Althi?”
She had a moment of extreme introspection before she finally said, “’gur-ice-t?’ It’s not any pokémon I’ve heard of before.”
“’Gur-ice-t?’ Christ Althi, I have no idea what you-’
Gur-ice-t. Christ.
Oh.
“Hey, Althi, wait here. I’ll, uh, bring along Pirth and Arimis so I can explain it only once to everyone, alright?”
“Sure. I’ll be right here,” Althi said, returning to look back at the unchanging sea as I hurriedly scampered below deck to get Pirth and wake Arimis.”
“Of course I remember when we found you! You sounded so confused and scared, but you were happy to join us!” Pirth said, beaming.
I glanced around. Save for the ship’s captain at the wheel and a bird atop the man mast, looking out for pirates, we were alone. I took a deep breath, hoping the brine in the air would bring me strength. It was negligible. “Do you remember what I said to you?”
Pirth entered a moment of thought, but Althi said, with a hint of confusion, “You said you were human as an excuse for being trapped in a dungeon. But I don’t see how-”
A shock of surprise went through Althi, and as she had realized what she had just said, she looked at me with incredulity and said no more.
“That’s right!” Pirth exclaimed, picking up where Althi left off, “you said you were a human since you were so embarrassed! But we saw right through it, didn’t we, Althi?”
I turned back to her, but I saw only fear mixed with, even worse, a hint of disgust.
“d’Alin, what are you trying to say?” she asked with barely a whisper.
I glanced at Arimis who was looking intently at me. No thought, however, came to mind. I returned to look at Althi, not only so she could “hear me” but also to ensure that there was no way she could doubt I was being serious.
“Althi. Pirth. What I told you when I first met you is true. I’m human.”
An uneasy tension settled between the four of us. Pirth, sitting down, moved his forelegs closer to himself. Althi stood up and took a whole step back, looking at me before shooting a glance at Arimis before finally returning at me.
“You told her?”
“I certainly didn’t keep it from her; I told you both, she just happened to believe me.”
Althi looked at Arimis and asked, “and how did that make you feel, Arimis?”
That I was sharing a room with a myth? It answered the question as to why his mind was different from all the others I had encountered.
With frost in her voice, Althi said, “no, I meant when the pokémon that set us up and killed Garchomp, not to mention almost getting to the rest of us all, was actually a human. How does it make you feel that the reason why Garchomp didn’t account for the pure evil of Weavile was because he couldn’t have known he was human?”
“That’s not fair, Althi. You know me.”
“Just how we ‘knew’ Weavile until he wanted to betray us.”
"Althi, how can you say that? I was beside you and Pirth from the beginning. I fought beside you both in Beach Cave. Could not I have betrayed you then? And what of Swiftwater Stream and Ruined Roost? Together you and I worked together to take down ferals, remember? Your trust in me then to stand alongside you shouldn’t change because I haven’t changed.”
I looked at Althi, but I couldn’t decipher her expression. I turned to Pirth and said, “right, Pirth?”
Pirth, pensive at first, said with more confidence than before, “that’s right, d’Alin. You fought beside us.”
See? You can’t just generalize an entire species, I heard in my mind, a pause before the thought continued, meekly, like dark types.
This bothered Althi almost as much as me being human. “What,” she said, now looking at Arimis, “do you even think it was we fought back there? What do you think made that human even more sneaky, even more cunning? He was a dark type, you know how they are. Even their moves are all ways of tricking other pokémon.”
No thought came as a retort from Arimis, so I spoke up instead, “Althi, you can’t say that. You- we-”
I found myself at a loss for words, unable to conjure an argument to support Arimis without exposing her as a zorua, something she specifically asked me to not do, that it would be her whenever she felt ready. But I could deflect.
“Althi, you turned into a glaceon, right? You know that weaviles are part-ice, part-dark, right?”
Althi, as if having prepared herself for this, quickly responded, “I already know what Weavile was. He was strong and able to defeat Garchomp because he was part-ice. He was cunning and evil because he was part-dark.”
“How do you know that? What gives you the right to make such a distinction when it wasn’t either of those things, just an evil person doing evil things?”
A silence followed, and Pirth and Althi both became lost in thought. But Althi’s mind quickly shifted, since she asked me, “did they know? Did Garchomp and Starmie know what you are?”
“I told Garchomp, back at Pokemon Square. I don’t think he even told Starmie, but I told him and he supported me. He told me it didn’t matter and that he believed in me to do good.”
“How can I believe you?”
“Goddammit” I exclaim, unable to help myself, “you can’t Althi. You have to trust me. Just how you trusted me to fight beside you, to take care of you and watch you and Pirth like we did after we made it through Ruined Roost, that day when we were all exhausted and waiting for the Rescue Teams to arrive. When Pirth could hardly stand and you were in and out of consciousness. I’ve always been human, don’t you understand? Then and now. I’m still the same person as the one you leaned your head against just moments ago.”
At this final sentence Althi almost recoiled, realizing that she had, in fact, touched me. But she contained her reaction and was left to mull over the thoughts.
Pirth spoke next, making sure to grab Althi’s attention. “I think,” he said, “that d’Alin has a point. I heard him and Arimis grab us both and Starmie after the fight. Althi took a hit for him, and d’Alin thought she died. He was alone, and he didn’t try to run off with the Articuno feather I’m wearing right now, he tried to go and take care of her. Of us. Of Team Eevee.”
He paused before continuing, “I can admit that I am a little afraid that you’re human, d’Alin. That you’re like Weavile. But I think it’s only a natural feeling. I think you’re still the same pokémon.”
I breathe a sigh of relief mixed with a strange feeling of concern. Is it good or bad that the deeply racist deer has sided with me? “Than-”
“Except for changing into a vaporeon,” Pirth quickly blurted, interrupting me.
“Thank you Pirth.” I turned to Althi and asked, “is everything okay with us? It’s okay if you’re scared but-”
“I’m not scared, and don’t ever call me that again. But… I don’t know d’Alin, I’m just… confused.”
I glanced at Arimis, who seemed as surprised as myself to hear Althi admit to that much.
“Why, d’Alin,” asked Althi, “did you just now tell us? I don’t understand.”
I explained to Althi how Arimis observed what she had said while the Federation had questioned us about Ruined Roost, the realization that Pirth and Althi both must have completely forgotten my claim of being human, even after encountering Weavile and learning he was human from Arimis. I was left with one thing remaining on my mind.
“Althi, another thing. I don’t think it’s safe for us to return to the Wigglytuff Guild.”
“What! What do you mean, d’Alin?” came Althi’s reply.
“Well, you remember how the Feds were questioning us about Weavile being human? Garchomp told me that the Feds have started to turn more hostile towards people. And considering that Wigglytuff’s Guild is very closely tied with the Federation, I don’t think it’s safe for me.”
She eyed me with suspicion. “And what are you proposing exactly? A friendlier Guild somewhere else?”
“Sort of. Garchomp mentioned a guild in a place called Capim Town. Do you know where that is?”
“Yes, Pirth and I were there a few years ago, but there was no guild there back then. What makes this new guild so special?”
I pause for a moment before speaking. “Garchomp said they’ve got other humans.”
Althi’s answer is instant. “Absolutely not, no way.”
“Althi you-”
“You made good points, d’Alin. About you. About us. Not them. The only other human we’ve encountered was a backstabbing maniac, don’t you get it? How can any of us feel safe around more?”
“Althi, aren’t most pokémon in this world good? And there're relatively few outlaws around?”
“Dungeons and outlaws have been rising.”
“That’s beside the point.”
“No it isn’t! Humans start arriving and Rifts start to form? The world gets crazier? You remember what Garchomp told us what the Federation told them. About humans.”
“That’s beside the point,” I said again, “and there’s no link. Do you seriously think I am part of the reason why the world’s getting crazier?”
Althi blushes before admitting, “I don’t know.”
“Okay, well, just how there’s a few outlaw pokémon, the same goes for humans. There are a few outlaw humans, but most of them are good. I’m sure the same can be said for the guild in Capim town.”
“It doesn’t matter, d’Alin. I already told you my answer. And as the leader of Team Eevee, what I say goes.”
“Althi, I don’t think I’d be safe anywhere else considering the rhetoric the Federation uses about-”
“I said enough,” Althi said with frost, the air around us getting colder. Even Pirth seemed shocked to hear this side of Althi. She recomposed herself and said, “I can make an exception for you, d’Alin. Because you’re right, you saved us. I trust you. Not them.”
“I can’t see myself being able to go back to Wigglytuff’s, Althi. I need to find someplace where I don’t have to hide who I am from everyone.”
At this I instinctively glanced at Arimis, who looked away. When I looked back at Althi, I saw that she was struggling with my side, so I made it clear to her my intent. “I’m going to Capim Town when we reach port.”
Althi was not only angry, but scared. “Well, do whatever you want. I’m not. Team Eevee is not. And if you want to abandon the three of us, then go on ahead and abandon us d’Alin.”
“Althi, please understand-”
But Althi closed her eyes as she walked past me, effectively silencing me as she headed below deck.
I turned to look at Pirth, who was still contemplating everything. He simply said, after a moment, “I get you, d’Alin. I wouldn’t want to go, either, but I would go with you. But… Althi’s my sister. I can’t leave her. I’m sorry.”
At this, he stood up and walked towards the stairs, where he carefully made his way down before following Althi below deck.
It was just Arimis and myself at the mast of the ship. Our eyes met and I heard the thought, well, you’re braver than myself..
“I can’t really blame you after what Althi said.”
She seemed lost in thought, struggling with an internal battle before one side won over the other, and she looked at the sun making its transit towards the horizon. I suppose I might as well tell you, well, why I am why I am.
I hesitated a moment before responding, “Arimis I-”
I felt what could only be described as a bright light inside my own head as Arimis paused me, before I heard, d’Alin, just let me speak everything for a moment, alright? Without interruptions, please.
Fine, go ahead, Arimis.
As you know, I’m a zorua, not an espeon. I come from Mist, where my parents gave birth to me. My mother left my father soon after, and I was left in his care. I don’t know much about her except that she’s a ninetails and she, like my father, is a criminal.
I was about to make a comment before a sharp glance from Arimis, clearly aware of my intention, aptly shut me up.
My father took care of me, but I was never able to speak. He’d never hurt me, if that’s what you’re wondering, criminal or not. I had two uncles: Uncle Litten and Uncle… Weavile. As I got older, Weavile apparently got more unhinged, and I stopped seeing him, only Uncle Litten and my father. Eventually, they ended up disbanding. That was how I recognized Weavile.
She continued, that was before I learned how to use extrasensory, which I inherited from my mother. I don’t know psychic, but espeons do, so that’s what I called it. That’s why you were able to hear Starmie immediately and it takes me time to “unlock” minds to talk to others. I don’t think extrasensory works that way normally, but I made it work since I had no other way of communicating. Unlike psychic, I can apparently read thoughts better. And project abilities like calm mind. I don’t know why, but it just works that way.
After a silence long enough that I felt justified in making a comment, I thought, Arimis, but why don’t you just reveal who you are?
Arimis turned away and looked into the distance. You saw what Althi said, and she’s right. Dark-types are no-good dirty tricksters. And zoruas and zoroarks? They’re the worst of the bunch. So many refuse to use illusion so they don’t get paired with the “bad ones.” But me? After I ran away from Mist, after I journeyed through Air then down to Grass, if I was just a zorua no one would help me. If, however, I disguised myself as a poor helpless espeon, then suddenly I could get help.
So when I decided I was finally ready to join Wigglytuff’s Guild instead of going freelance so I could more effectively reverse all the bad my parents have done to this world, what other choice did I have? What would the most famous guilds in all of Grass accept? A tricky zorua who refuses to speak and instead reads your mind, or a mute espeon who can use psychic like every other psychic type?
For some time, I neither thought nor said anything, letting the weight of Arimis’ words settle.
With a hint of spite in the thought that hurt as much as Althi’s disdain, I heard, I envy you, d’Alin. Being able to speak up like that. Even though you knew how Althi would react.
I sighed. It’s what I know to be the right thing to do. Besides, Arimis, in due time I know you’ll be able to-
“In due time?” Why do you speak as if you won’t be around? appeared the thought, accompanied by Arimis turning to look at me, but before I was able to respond she quickly looked away and I heard, despondently in my head, do you know why I seemed… melancholic when we regrouped back at Eeveelution Forest?
You never finished your thought, no.
Well, there were two things, and the first isn’t relevant right now. The second is: I know why you evolved into a vaporeon.
My heart skipped a beat. Arimis, I-
As an eevee, you could never escape the dream, right? You were unable to swim up to the surface, to return to your world. Correct?
That’s not the main reason I chose to be a Vaporeon. I can’t explain it all right now, but-
I know. But it was a reason nonetheless, wasn’t it? And now, now that you risk splitting Team Eevee in your pursuit to go to Garchomp’s guild, you seek to leave altogether?
I found myself unable to say anything, and Arimis’ eyes stared intently into mine, studying me and searching, searching within me for any possibility that what she knew was wrong.
But my eyes didn’t lie, and she found none. In despair, she looked away.
I- I was on the fence, Arimis, this whole time. Althi’s decision was just the beginning. I have a team back there, a team that I left – abandoned – to face the tempest. How can I live here knowing that is so?
No thought came in response, and I feel compelled to fill in the silence. Don’t you think I want to be here? These past four weeks have been incredible. They were filled with adventure, and I met such amazing pokémon; you, Althi, even Pirth! Back there, Arimis, I was drowning. Here, here I feel alive. I just- I can’t leave them behind, not when the people relying on me need me the most.
After a beat, Arimis turned back, her eyes shimmering unnaturally. It took me a moment to realize that under the illusion, she was tearing up. The thoughts come hesitantly, every word a slow acceptance of reality.
You don’t wish for me to use calm mind on you tonight?
That’s right.
Are you going to leave?
My vision became watery. I am.
Arimis closed her eyes and stood still for a moment, giving herself time to process what she had heard.
Okay then.
Silence elapsed, and I turned away to give Arimis space, but one final thought appeared.
d’Alin, do you remember I told you why I stayed up at night?
I do… because you’re naturally nocturnal as a dark type, right?
Yes, but that’s only partly why. I like to watch the stars. I always wanted to make a memory of watching them with a friend; do you remember the promise you made me?
That I would spend that moment with you before returning to my world? Yes, I do, and I can do that Althi. Something for the both of us to remember each other by
Alright. I’ll wake you before you dream, but deep enough into the night that it will be very dark out… I’m at least glad we’re in the open ocean, where the skies are the clearest.
I nodded in affirmation and left Arimis, giving her time to herself.
The rest of the day passed with me looking back on everything that had happened since I had arrived, and I came to the conclusion that this entire experience was almost a dream. I’ve made friends, gone on adventures.
I paused and reflected. Almost a dream. I gained a mentor. Lost a mentor. This world is very real, with very real consequences, and very real people. And… I’m choosing to leave it behind. Somehow, I know I won’t be able to return but… with those on Earth needing me, what choice do I have?
I found myself below deck, with the sun setting on the horizon. I would say my goodbyes to Arimis later, but Pirth and Althi? I didn’t know how to tell them I would be leaving. So I did what I always shou;d’ve done: said my thanks.
“Goodnight Pirth, Althi. Sleep well. And… thanks for being such great friends.”
Pirth, lying down, replied, “of course d’Alin.”
Althi, however, was silent, and when I went to lie down beside her to rest my head on Pirth’s silky-smooth tuft of white fur from his winter coat, she shifted slightly away. Whereas before she wouldn’t have minded me curling up directly beside her, I knew why she moved this time.
“Althi,” I said, tapping her to get her attention. She looked my way, and I said, “I’m glad to have met you, Althi. Really.”
She saw my words and, before turning back away, I was able to glimpse conflicting emotions in her eyes. But she said nothing.
Goodbye, then.
I leaned into Pirth’s extremely comfortable tufts of hair – no doubt the best part about him evolving into a sawsbuck – and felt myself drift off into sleep.
I jolted awake, still nested in Pirth’s fur, still beside Althi. The psychic energy that had shook me awake faded away, and I was left staring into Arimis’ eyes. Even at night, she was still disguised as an espeon.
A thought with an unorthodox mix of sadness and excitement appeared in my mind. d’Alin, I’d like you to close your eyes and I’ll guide you up.
Still somewhat groggy, I thought, why?
Do you trust me?
Of course, but-
Then listen.
So I did. I stood up and, doing my absolute best to not make any sounds to wake either Pirth or Althi, who both appeared to be sleeping soundly, I tried to tip-toe away.
Unfortunately, since I was still not used to this body, I misstepped and fell onto my face, making a loud thud.
Althi, deaf, did not stir, but I could make out Pirth’s ears twitch. Still, he didn’t move, and after a brief second I made my way out of the sleeping quarters and into the hallway before the stairs.
Close them now and hold on.
I closed my eyes and as I held my paw forward, I realized that I never touched Arimis before. I felt the soft tufts of hair I’d seen at Ruined Roost to my surprise. Arimis evidently sensed that because I heard, with a smirk somehow being felt through the thought, I can’t actually transform, you know. My illusion is just a trick of light.
Holding on, Arimis led me up the stairs and onto the deck where I felt her let go, position me facing away from the ship, and I heard okay, now open your eyes.
Music: Keith Power's Your Decisions Make You.
A Star is Born d’Alin
- The stars, like dust, appeared before us. There,
- In unison, sat Arimis and I.
- We, bathed in th’ light, inhaled the fresh air, th’ mist
- Of ocean overturned seized by the winds
- Embracing us. Heard I the words of my
- Companion, Arimis: Above us these
- Are no aurora. I, transfixed, did not
- Avert the gaze of m’ sight as Arimis
- Continued: Differ do the religions
- Of th’ lands. The pokémon of the Continent
- Of Sand – th’ tribe of Garchomp – held th’ belief
- that they, upon living life worthwhile, were t’ join
- Lord Arceus among the stars on high.
- To th’ heavens I turned m’ gaze, saw th’ nebulae
- Coalesced ‘round a single bright, lone star
- Whose ruddy light illuminated all
- Th’ surrounding cosmic clouds. Together do
- We see, O d’Alin: a star is born.
- Above us does he stand vigil; through us
- Does Garchomp and his sacrifice live on.
I broke from the sight and glanced at Arimis, her illusion shimmering and my eyes watering. I was not expecting this, d’Alin, but perhaps this is a sign.
“Of what?” I barely managed to whisper.
Of something greater than us.
I turned my eyes skyward and took in the incredible sight. These unfamiliar skies, stars and constellations I knew not, looked back.
Stay, came the thought. I didn’t know if it was my own or that of the stars, but regardless I heard it within my very soul. Remember your promise to Garchomp; to do justice in this world, to act in righteousness.
Of course, I replied, to myself or the stars I knew not, but the most righteous act is to return to those who need me.
The stars or my mind, either which spake, offered no reply, and I knew it to be so.
Must you really leave, d’Alin?
I turned to Arimis and whispered, “I must.”
Then, louder than I intended, with my voice cracking I asked, not only to her but to myself also, “how can I stay? If I’m to remain, it means that Team Eevee would be split. Do you think I want to make Althi and Pirth lose not only me, but you too? How can I go on knowing Althi despises me for something I can’t control? I just… I want the best for everyone here. So if that requires me leaving, then there’s the final nail in the coffin. I’m sorry, Arimis.”
With her illusion shimmering more than ever, I embraced her, my arms falling through the tricks of light and touching the soft fur beneath.
“Arimis, what you said about Garchomp was true; he will live on in our hearts, even if I return. The same goes for you, and Althi and Pirth; even if I am gone, you will forever live within me. I’ll never forget.”
I turned away, ready to return to sleep and – as much as I didn’t wish to – to return to Earth.
Then, if you will, d’Alin, please turn back. I don’t want for you to remember me as a trick of light.
I turned back to see smoke surrounding Arimis and the illusion shimmering away, catching the purple light of the cosmos as it dissipated until all that remained was a meek zorua, holding her crimson-red paws together in a bout of nervousness.
Arimis’ eyes, watery, were initially focused at the ground until they slowly, with jagged movements indicative of an internal struggle, made their way up to meet with mine where I met her deep, sky-blue eyes looking at me wistfully.
I carefully walked back to her and hugged her again. I saw my forelegs wrap around her fur and her own red-pawed forelegs around me; no illusion, but who she really was.
Even if I can’t accept who I am right now, I want you to remember me as I really am. And please, remember me as Ari. That’s what I always wanted to be called by my friends.
I broke the embrace and said my goodbye. Anticipating my next question, I heard, I will stay here and watch these beautiful skies. Were I to follow, I don’t think I’d manage to help myself. Goodbye, d’Alin. You will forever be in my heart as well.
I looked back at her, but the espeon illusion had returned, and she was looking at the heavens, taking in the wisps of stardust dancing across the empyrean. I looked for a moment too, but a pang of drowsiness pushed me back below deck.
I returned to where I had slept only to see Pirth was missing, leaving Althi sleeping alone on the pile of hay that was an excuse for beds.
Well, a bed is something I definitely look forward to returning to, came the bittersweet thought.
I hovered over Althi and, after a moment’s hesitation and realizing I would never be to do so again, I figured the risk of waking her was worthwhile and gave her a small hug.
She was cold to the touch, but instinctually her paw wrapped around mine and held me firm.
It was far more difficult emotionally than physically to break the hold, but I manage to do so without waking her, and I curl up and, despite my heart pounding in a cocktail of every emotion imaginable, manage to drift off into sleep.
Music: C418's Shuniji
I found myself underwater once again, after so long. I looked at myself and, as expected, just as my body had changed from being human to being an eevee, once again my body changed.
In this dream, unlike all others, I am a vaporeon.
After a moment’s hesitation, I breathed in. Alarm bells rang through my head, just as had happened before, but I felt no suffocating intake of water. My gills, wherever they were, did their work, and I breathed just fine underwater as I could on land.
I closed my eyes and swam upward, not wishing to witness my departure from the world. As I raced upward in what felt like a perfectly natural motion, even in my body being new, the dolphin-like motion of my tail propelling me upward, tearing through whatever had been dragging me down, I neared the still waters of the surface.
Then stopped.
Still waters? I opened my eyes and looked above me.
Still dark were the waters of the surface, but not by cause of a storm. The boat stood still, and the waters were not thrown into a frenzy but instead still. Instead, the sky had been replaced by that which I had seen with Ari. Shining through the water, clear as crystal, was the magnificence of the galaxy and the newly-born star standing watch.
The only object blocking the view was the ship that I had nearly a month ago been thrown from, inexplicably sending me into the Pokemon world.
Just as I was able to sense the fear of the teammates aboard the ship every time I had this dream as they faced the chaos above, this time I sensed the collision of order and dedication.
My senses shifted to the surrounding waters; acknowledging what I had subconsciously felt from the onset of this dream: they were serene. Calm. The storm had indeed passed. And my team above managed to press on.
I drifted aimlessly as I struggled to process this revelation.
A pang of envy built within me, the thought of they managed to survive without me, did I even do a good job of leading them at all?
This was quickly followed with the joyous thought of, *they made it! Though you were gone, they persevered! Isn’t that what you would’ve wanted for them?
A flurry of more thoughts bombarded me: Did I really disappear? What about my family? Friends? What about the ones here? The adventure? The life I felt I was actually living? Did I need to return? Would I just reappear? Above it was summer, but here winter? Why the time change? How long have I been gone?
Althi, Pirth, and Arimis flashed through my mind.
Could I stay?
I looked beyond the ship to the skies, to the star that still shone bright.
Once again, the thought entered my mind, and I was unable to discern if it was mine or not.
Your team has weathered the storm, and you have embraced it. What promise broken drives you back now?
None, I answer.
Yet does your promise to Garchomp still not stand? To act in justice and righteousness? To do good in this world?
It does, but-
The most righteous act – to return to uphold your promise, your obligation to captain – evidently need not be upheld; your team sails onward without you.
I looked back to the surface and saw that the ship had entered into a gentle sail, slowly drifting across the still sea. I followed, the process of keeping up taking little more effort than breaking into a gentle paddle.
You are at the ocean between worlds. Do you remain or rise?
My family, friends, have I been long-gone to them? Have they accepted that?
No response came from either me or the star above, so I was left with a choice: one world I had to leave, another to remain in.
The thoughts of family and friends above and below weighed on my mind, a scale balancing between the two. But, with the greatest obligation gone, the specter of guilt no longer hanging overhead as I saw my team slowly but surely journey onward without me, the scales tipped.
A lone thought, however, appeared, almost reversing the scales entirely.
Won’t I dissolve Team Eevee? With Pirth following Althi and Ari following myself?
Uncertain if it was a trick of light, I thought I saw the star above shine bright as I heard, to each their own path; to each their own fate. In adamance, your choices make you alone.
This final revelation, alongside the instinct that I would have this dream once again, but that upon surfacing there would be no return, I decided to follow my heart.
No longer being dragged down by some unknown force, I bid farewell to the ship for the time being and the star shining through the exalted firmament above, I drove myself into the deep of the ocean.
Although the waters still felt cold and the depth darkened my vision, the terrible fear had been replaced by a majestic serenity as the now-familiar waters gently trussed me back to sleep, only a single thought managing to break through the overwhelming tranquility.
Have I truly embraced the storm?
I woke up, alone in the bowels of the ship, still rocking against the waves.
I glanced at myself. Aqua-blue paws. Still a vaporeon.
Where is everyone? I wondered with a rising worry. Has something happened? Did I do something wrong?
I hurriedly make my way up the stairs and into the upper deck, where I am met with a sun midway between horizon and apex.
I looked around and saw many of the mons that had been passengers on the Lapras Liner, but no sign of Ari or Althi or-
“Good morning, d’Alin.”
I turned around to see Althi looking at me with a bored look in her eyes, and behind her appeared Pirth and Arimis.
“Morning d’Alin, stay up late?” Pirth asked.
Arimis, however, seemed surprised to see me and ran up to me and readied for a hug, but stopped herself upon realizing Althi was watching.
She instead poked me with her paw and I heard in my mind, very nice to see you, d’Alin.
She turned around to Althi and Pirth and I heard, well, I’m going to go sleep below deck now that d’Alin’s awake. You best tell him what you told me, Althi.
She turned back around and sauntered towards the stairs, but not before glancing at me, an excitement in her eyes, and I heard in my head alone, do be sure to tell me what exactly happened later… just know I’m very glad you stayed, d’Alin.
Of course, Ari, when you wake up.
Upon hearing this, Arimis’ eyes lit up through the exhaustion of sleep deprivation, and she nodded to us before making her way downstairs.
I turned back to Althi who seemed confused at our exchange and glanced at Pirth, who appeared oblivious to it entirely.
“Excuse me Pirth,” said Althi, who approached me and guided me to the fore of the ship, where we had watched the rising sun just the day before.
The winds carrying the mist of the sea still struck us and, just like before, it felt refreshing. Just like before, I felt like I made the right choice to remain. Just like before, beyond the horizon of a seemingly crystalline sea reflecting the light of the rising sun, a life of adventure, of promises to uphold, of a story to be told, all awaited.
Except, you have to go it alone. Without Althi, came the unfortunate thought. But before I could speak up and tell Althi that I would have to move on to Capim, she spoke first.
“d’Alin, listen I- I just wanted to say that I… considered what you said.”
She looked at me for a second and blushed before looking back to the horizon, evidently not wishing to hear my response.
“I decided that it’s in the best interest of Team Eevee to go to Capim Town after all. Aside from what you said, it’d be good to help in other regions and, well, I don’t want us to live under the shadow of the Wigglytuff Guild. They did a lot in the past with the Temporal Crisis, but I want us to have a new legacy. At a new guild. So Team Eevee will start fresh at your guild.”
“Thank you Althi. I-” I said before stopping myself, as Althi was still looking over the ocean.
“I- I- I’m…” she began, the words of “scared” hanging silently in the air before she continued and said, “I’m bothered about the idea of humans, though. Especially the possibility of dark-type humans like Weavile. That they would be weird, that they’d betray us.”
Now she finally turned to me and waited for a response.
“Althi, I can assure you humans are just like Pokemon, just... different. Though I think there’s the real possibility humans-turned-Pokemon will have their own weird quirks relative to Pokemon, it shouldn’t be anything too crazy.”
This seemed to reassure Althi, who returned to look at the horizon. “Okay,” she said, “I’ll take your word for it. We’ll skip Wigglytuff’s Guild to avoid paying the tax for our reward money.”
I laughed internally at the hatred of taxes transcending pokémon and humans alike, and alongside Althi looked at the rising sun, taking in the sight and majesty of this world I decided to remain in. To uphold the promise I made to Garchomp, to make his sacrifice worthwhile.
I felt Althi inch closer to me and the air around me cooled, and I saw from the corner of my eye Althi begin to lean her head on me but hesitate before pulling it back upright. Nonetheless, she didn’t move away.
In due time, I thought, we’ll be back to normal.
But although I had begun to have my memory worryingly fade, at that moment my brain made a connection and I suddenly remembered why I had felt the déjà vu of Marill’s shop back on the way to Eeveelution Forest.
Well, I sure hope that the other humans aren’t like the people from that hellhole of the internet. That might be the only thing that could make Althi’s slow acceptance of me being human go awry.
But what are the chances of that happening, right?
Right?