Collaring a Wolf by /bara/hmoma/ writefren

Have an Awoo roommate
Pure 100% Northern Wolf genes, he's basically a giant wall of muscle compared to other canines
Thinks canines submitting to humans is "immoral" and will proceed to list weird conspiracy theories about it if pressed
"Don't worry though anon, I know you're one of the good ones"
You usually just smile and nod, he pays his half of the rent
Today was shopping, and it's a two man job
"You're gonna need someone to carry the heavy stuff, also you can't smell if things are fresh enough".
The two of you are making small talk while he sniff-checks the perishables
All of a sudden his ears and tail are perking up with curiosity
You look over to see a couple
It's two guys, a human and a collie
The canine's got a collar with a heart shaped metal band securing the middle.
He's practically hanging out of the human, who's reciprocating happily.
Your roommate's gotten all flustered seeing them
You were expecting trouble, but he was just staring
You expected his face to snarl in hatred in the face of his claimed enemy, but the look he gave screamed of something else...
You could see him watching the human playfully hook a finger through the dog's collar as they flirted openly (get a room, Jesus)
The wolf visibly swallowed watching the human hand trace over the fur and faux leather
You had a sneaking suspicion
That he was jealous
You could confirm that some other time though, he was being a creep right now
Grabbing a nearby pack of meat, you gently raised it to his nose
His nostrils twitched, and he snapped out of his daydream
"Uh, sorry...Th-that mince is pretty fresh, you should buy it"
You ignored his awkwardness, instead casually asking he wanted you to do burgers tonight
He looked down at you, there was a flash of that same expression, like he was looking at something he knew he couldn't have, but wanted anyway
"Sure"
It was a silent drive home, the wolf seemed pensive and zoned out
If he wasn't going to say anything then you were. Asking casually if he saw the couple that were all over each other.
"It's weird right? I don't get why they have to shove it in everyone's faces"
You wanted to pick his brain on what he was so hung up on, so decided to be a little bit of a dick
You asked him if he had ever tried it
"What?"
More specifically, has he ever tried getting with a human
"Wh-NO! Of course not! I'm a wolf! I don't do that uwu lapdog shit!"
He was looking incredulously at you
You shrugged and gave him a 'Fair enough' but also mentioned that he'd be a total hit if he gave someone a chance
"What's that supposed to mean?"
You assured him that you weren't suggesting anything, just that you knew plenty of humans that'd love to give him a tummy rub
He made an audible choking noise at that suggestion, you couldn't help but snicker as you pulled into the parking space.
"Like I'd just let any ape put their paws all over me! I'm not some Labrador that lets just anyone scratch his ears, Wolves have complex courting rules!"
In a dramatic manor, you opened up the trunk of the car before pulling out a his favorite snack, you presented it to him with a deep bow, asking if a packet of moon cookies doth pleaseth his lordship
He looked unimpressed at your interpretation of courting, muttering something about how you needed to stop watching downton awooby before stalking off with the bulk of the groceries
The bemused sway of his tail let you know he wasn't actually pissed with you.
Maybe doing a little research on how wolf courting works would let you prove to him that humans aren't all bad