Pick Your Poison

“Merlin’s Beard. You’re delusional, Anon,” the witch snarled. The small paired bands of her blue scarf twisted and contorted as she crossed her arms firmly. “We’re friends and that’s where it ends. I’m sorry if you took my affable nature as anything more than that, but I need to make myself clear before you get any more tawdry ideas into your head.”

The wizard hung his head in shame. He had made the common mistake of letting himself fall for the first witch to give him attention in months. No doubt, they had some fun on the dance floor together and they also had a few close calls in the Forbidden Forest. He was happier than he’d ever been and it was clear she enjoyed his company too—to an extent. But as per usual, Anon’s eyes were bigger than his stomach and it foolishly cost him another friendship as his confession took to the skies before crashing and burning.

After a few more parting words, the witch left Anon standing in the courtyard to stew in his regrets. The chill wind clawing at his back more intensely than it’s ever felt. The poor wizard’s heart was shattered and the only thing he could think to do at the moment was try to take a walk to clear his head before any intrusive thoughts could wriggle into his brain.

After a few minutes of aimless wandering, the wizard found himself standing near the Herbology greenhouses where students learned to take care of the fantastical flora of the world. Anon stepped inside, hoping the acrid stench of Professor Longbottom’s Mimbletonia could fry the memories from his mind. The large room seemed to be completely deserted at first, save for all plants, but far in the corner, a small pair of feet poked out from among the looming reeds. Feet which jumped at the creaking of the door opening when the wayward wizard stepped inside.

“Who’s there? Show yourself!” A nasally voice called out. The stranger, obscured by the leaves of giant plants stood up instantly—familiar locks of blonde hair tussling about as she aimed her wand at the intruder. “Don’t think I won’t stupefy you for this trespass!”

“Cassandra? Is that you?” inquired Anon, snapping out of his heartbroken haze. He applied the usual snark to his voice when dealing with the cantankerous Slytherin. “Figures you’d be back here with all the other venomous things.”

“Well, it seems the manure arrived early,” snorted Cassandra, a gloved hand brought elegantly to her lips. “Oh! My mistake. It’s just you, Anon. I’m going to have to ask you to please take your leave, your presence is agitating our—”

She stopped herself abruptly before coughing loudly.

“—agitating my Venomous Tentacula.”

“I—” Anon prepared to respond with a usual zinger, but found himself unable to get another word out. “Yeah. You’re right. I’ll just take my leave.”

“What? Is that all you’ve got? Where’s your… usual low-grade sass?”

“I’m just not feeling it today. Can I take a raincheck?”

“You most certainly cannot!” The pale, blonde witch scoffed. “What is bloody wrong with you? This is not the Anon I know!”

The wizard groaned. It seemed like he wouldn’t be forgetting his mistake anytime soon.

The two settled by the Venomous Tentacula and Anon regaled the Slytherin witch his bittersweet tale.

“Hmph!” she hmphed. “You know I never liked her! She was always so toxic towards you.”

Anon chuckled awkwardly. That was definitely the teapot calling the kettle black.

“Why, honestly, you could do much better. If it had been me you confessed to, I’d have been jumping for joy.”

“You’d be… happy if I had confessed to you?”

The one-eighth Veela’s eyes widened in shock, a tinge of blush suddenly flooding across her cheeks. “I-I-I didn’t mean it like that. But you certainly couldn’t do any better than me and I definitely would’ve handled it better.” Cassandra gently pushed a few strands of her silken hair behind her ear. She looked away, hiding the embarrassment that rose to her face.

“Oh yeah?” Anon decided to call her bluff, noticing her apparent embarrassment. She had always made it a habit to tease him, so the wizard decided to return the favor. “Cassandra, have I ever told you that the emerald gleam of your passionate eyes sets my heart aflame? How the fair blonde shade of your hair sends shocks through me when I see it whipping wildly whenever you cast your Atmospheric Charm? The love and care you show your Tentacula really shows off that motherly nature that I—"

“Merlin’s Beard! Would you shut your mouth?” Cassandra yelped, her face half-hidden by her hand was even redder than before. The tentacles of the venomous plants behind her slithered ecstatically. “Y-Y-Y-You really are a cretin! How dare you recite those romantic utterances to me without any meaning behind them!”

“I meant every word,” the wizard said earnestly, looking deeply into the witch’s ardent eyes. The light of the sun beamed through the ceiling, casting a spotlight on the clashing couple. “I admit, I’ve always admired your tenacity. I just really couldn’t let this chance slip away. I’ve certainly done a lot of things I regret, but this definitely wasn’t one of them.”

The normally proud Slytherin found herself taken aback. A habit that seemed to form most troublesomely around him. Her icy heart had actually skipped a beat at his words, sending a signal to her brain that she couldn’t quite figure out what to do with. An almost tangible puff of steam puffed out from her burning red ears.

“Anon, I…” She couldn’t help but smile. “I think your pathetic posturing could use some work. But you’re getting there.”

“Oh…” Anon sighed dejectedly.

Anon felt the soft press of her scarlet lips against his cheek.

“I look forward to hearing them again the next time.” Cassandra smiled coquettishly at the wizard next to her.