please stop asking me for this url. there is nothing i would trade it for, ever
PLEASE READ ALL FOR THE GAME!!! support nora sakavic and her writing!!! book 5 just came out this year and it is wonderful. content warnings givwn but its YAOI! ITS SAD TRAGIC (canon) YAOI. theres also a poly relationship if you fw that
all for the game (aftg) is a book series by author Nora Sakavic. a lot of people dislike her writing but i am here to be her biggest white knight ever. i would die in the line of duty, defending all for the game with my life.
aftg is a 5 book series that has plagued my life since i was 14 years old. i dubbed this series as my "trauma media" when i was 15, because of how much i had used it to cope with my own trauma. andrew minyard is a main character in most of the books, and his own endured abuse and responses to his trauma reflected mine in such a personal way that i had immediately attached myself to him.
this series has been something i repeatedly return to over and over again in my life. it feels like intimacy whenever i reread the books. it has comforted me time and time again, through my good moments and my very unfortunate ones. to separate myself from the characters in these books would mean to almost separate a piece of myself from my own core.
andrew minyard and his relationship with neil josten is genuinely so personal to me, and has been since i was very young. i was unable to finish the series for a very long time due to how upset the content in it made me feel. the first time i finished the second book i had such a fit i ended up throwing up over it. it definitely damaged me in a way, but as a child in a sick situation getting to read something that directly mirrored my trauma, it helped me work through it in healthier ways.
i think theres some credit due, too. when i was so young and unstable, this book series, the characters in it, did enough to keep me alive for the time i needed it. i cant say it saved my life, but it definitely contributed to why i'm still around today.
this was kind of a nothingburger rant. i needed to put this somewhere. andrew minyard is #literallyme to a T i dont know that anybody is as him as i am
compilation of aftg quotes:
neil , andrew
••••
It sounded like a dream;
It tasted like damnation.
••••
Andrew bit the question into the corner of Neil's jaw.
"Yes or no?"
"It's always yes with you."
"Except when it's no."
"If you have to keep asking because—I'll answer it as many times as you ask. But this is always going to be yes."
"Don't 'always' me."
"Don't ask for the truth if you're just going to dilute it."
••••
"This,” Neil flicked his finger to indicate the two of them, “isn’t worthless."
“There is no ‘this’. This is nothing.”
“And I am nothing,” Neil prompted.
When Andrew gestured confirmation, Neil said,
“And as you’ve always said, you want nothing.”
••••
"Your parents are dead, you are not fine, and nothing is going to be okay. This is not news to you. But from now until May you are still Neil Josten and I am still the man who said he would keep you alive."
••••
"I hate you,” Andrew said casually.
He took a last long drag from his cigarette and flicked it off the roof.
"You were supposed to be a side effect of the drugs.”
"I’m not a hallucination,” Neil said, nonplussed.
“You are a pipe dream,” Andrew said.
•••
"I won't be like them," Neil said. "I won't let you let me be."
"One hundred and one," Andrew said, "going on one hundred and two."
"You're a terrible liar," Neil said, and Andrew kissed him into silence.
••••
Andrew dug a finger in Neil's cheek and forcibly turned his head away.
"Don't look at me like that. I am not your answer, and you sure as fuck aren't mine."
•