Hello there, I am Professor Princewood, the Premier Pokefucking Preceptor.

I know Professor Harkness has been taking time out of his busy schedule to go over some of the basics of deepening your love and friendship with your beloved pokemon, but Pokemon is such a broad and encompassing topic that we could be here for days on end discussing the various points there are. There's always new things to discover in this wonderful world of pokemon. However, there are some categories of knowledge that just won't be useful to a large majority of you.

I could tell you where exactly the nerve clusters on a Kommo-o are that would cause her to lift her tail when stimulated, but use of that knowledge only really helps those of you who actually managed to obtain a Kommo-o. The truth is that a lot of you trainers will, at least initially, only have access to pokemon common in your area. Your dreams of a pokemon harem full of lopunnies, gardevoirs, mawiles, and eeveelutions as far as your dick can see might suddenly seem pretty farfetch'd if you aren't lucky enough to have access to a starter that gets you hard.

What's a poor trainer to do, then? You could just resolve that the pokefucking comes later. You look at your team of bugs and birds, but decide that they just don't get you excited. You resolve yourself to a life of chaste trainership until you manage to catch that elusive pokewife you've always fapped about. Blueballing yourself while using your team as means to an end is certainly one way to be miserable. Even if you do manage to capture a wild ralts or buneary to groom into your perfect pokewife, you've left a team of loyal and loving companions neglected. If this is the route you choose, don't be surprised when your other pokemon become depressed in the knowledge that you never loved, or possibly even liked them.

Now, some of you might be roiling against my assertion, but understand. Pokemon are hard-wired to grow to love and adore you. Most of them will even be happy that they're helping their beloved Master find suitable sexual companions. However, the route of the pokefucker is fraught with pitfalls to avoid. Your pokemon will grow to know exactly who you are, and it will speak volumes if you discard your hastily caught oddish in favor of nurturing a budew the moment you find one. Your pokemon will know which ones you fuck, and which ones you dont.

I am here to tell you that if you are having sexual relationships with 80% of your team, the remaining 20% will wonder why you don't pursue them, especially if they have been on your team long enough to love and adore you. One of my key points of advice is if you don't plan on fucking a specific kind, catch a member of the gender you aren't attracted to. Pokemon are fiercely intuitive, and most of them are very intelligent. They understand that you have certain tastes and desires. If you are only attracted to females, they will understand why you don't sexually pursue the males. However, if you are thoroughly enjoying your harem of female pokemon with the exception of your female venonat, she may grow to resent herself for not being desirable enough for you. This can lead to severe psychological problems that require extensive therapy to fix.

This is all, of course, speaking purely from a perspective of pokefucking. If you are a nurturing and understanding trainer, there really isn't a wrong way to go about it. However, if your desire is pokefucking, you'd be surprised how many times this story unfolds. Fennekin don't grow on trees, and the waiting list for eevees is months in advance. What is an aspiring pokefucker to do when the only available starters are a turtwig or a quaxley? Well, good friends, I am here to tell you.

We all know the popular pokemon that every pokefucker wants time with. The lucarios, the blaziken, the lycanrocs. Some pokemon are very aesthetically pleasing, that’s why we have Contests. Unfortunately, the most alluring pokemon can be the most rare. Not always the case, but just because you can’t start your journey with a fluffy zoroark to drain your balls every night doesn’t mean you have to take a vow of celibacy until you find one. There are plenty of perfectly fuckable pokemon an aspiring pokefucker can catch with minimal startup, you just need to know where to look.

Welcome to Professor Princewood's Underrated Pokemon for Aspiring Pokefuckers, a guide to fucking pokemon outside of the ones you already want to fuck.
Today's topic: Zubat, The Bat Pokemon.

General Overview
You know what a zubat is. You've already encountered one, and likely either ran away or defeated it. They look like a bat with a small body and thin legs. You can distinguish the males from the females by the size of their fangs, as the males will have bigger. They are omnivorous, eating berries or the bodily fluids of prey. They are blind and have no sense of smell, relying on their big fluffy ears to hear their echolocation chirps. Most can be caught with a regular pokeball without even damaging it first, making zubat a perfect choice for starting pokefuckers, even those who don't manage to get a starter of some kind.

Temperament
Most zubats' encounters with humans aren't pleasant. Either they're being used as battle experience or humans are fleeing from them. Most never expect that they will end up being caught. Even if every trainer caught one, there would still be enough wild zubats to make caving dangerous. This means that most zubats can be either aggressive or confused when first caught. Be wary of letting it out of its ball immediately after catching one. Allow it time to get used to being caught inside its pokeball.

Luckily, zubats bond exceptionally fast, with almost whirlwind speed connections made possible through the use of luxury balls and/or soothe bells. They are very social creatures, as zubats naturally huddle together for warmth and hunt in groups. Connection is very important to them, and since they are blind, they rely on touch and sound. Skinship is one of the quickest ways of fostering a connection to a zubat.

Your new zubat will immediately do its best to investigate you. Being caught is exciting, a rare opportunity for a zubat. They will want to know everything about their new master. They will do this by licking you and touching you since they are blind. If your intent is sexual, then it is advised to be naked for this, and allow them to explore you. Once their curiosity is sated, fostering your connection with your new zubat is much like any other pokemon. Time and affection are important, and the typical zubat will vastly appreciate sleeping next to you and feeling your warmth at night even during summer months.

You’ll know your zubat is ready for physical intimacy when they take the initiative. It’s not recommended to force them before they’re ready, as they have a tendency to bite. Still, there is little to worry about. If your zubat has explored your body, they’ll typically take an interest in their Master’s taste where it’s concentrated strongest: your cock.

Sexual Overview
Let's face it. Zubat are small. Most of their body is their wingspan, and unless you are also severely deficient in size, vaginal intercourse is going to be off the table without extensive practice and a lot of artificial lubricant. You effectively have to turn them into a size queen to fuck them properly, and anal intercourse is an even bigger obstacle. Such things can be done eventually, but will take time and not recommended for beginners. So why am I recommending zubat for aspiring pokefuckers? Zubat is about 30% mouth.

Zubat's mouth opens wide, and it opens deep. It relies on this massive maw to latch on to prey and suck the resulting blood down its gullet. Even the most gifted human will find a zubat's mouth not only accommodating, but downright roomy. They don't have many teeth since their diet mostly involves draining blood, so the inside of their mouth is not as dangerous as their fangs might suggest. Their tongues are also highly dexterous to aid in slurping down their liquid diet. With the proper training, pokefuckers can turn these gifts of evolution to their sexual advantage.

Trainers who have a sufficient enough bond with their zubat will find that they are in possession of an eager little fleshlight capable of withstanding the most vigorous of throatfucking. Zubats are capable of sustaining themselves on relatively little calories, so it's possible to feed your zubat a diet of your own cum for entire stretches of your journey. Supplemented with the addition of berries, it is possible to foster a relationship with a zubat where feeding them and oral sex is the same activity.

A zubat's mouth is deceptively strong, and capable of producing a massive sucking force. Once a zubat is attached, the only way to get it to let go before it's done draining its prey dry is to knock it out. If its prey is your dick, you better get comfortable. A zubat will suck until it isn't getting any more fluid from you, or it decides that its belly is full.

Their communal natures means that they work together with other pokemon extremely well. This includes other pokemon. The typical zubat will be right at home in a threesome or more, and this goes even further with more than one zubat. Multiple zubats are a fast track to a harem full of hungry mouths willing to leech every drop of seed out of their beloved Master.

Tips and Warnings
Since zubats have mostly combative experiences with humans, troubles connecting with them may be that your new companion has bad memories of your kind. Overly aggressive and/or standoffish behavior is not typical of a zubat and may require specialist intervention.

Zubats are excitable, and bite when hyper. They will not typically pierce flesh, but if your zubat is stimulated enough, it is possible they forget just how strong their mouth is and how sharp their teeth are. Carry bite kits.

While some zubat owners are known to slather their dicks in a combination of berry pulp and juice so that their zubat can suck and lick their dinner, this is only recommended for advanced trainers, and not new owners. A new zubat might see food first, and your cock second, resulting in a painful bite and a nasty wound that requires medical intervention. A zubat should see your cock first, and food second.

An overzealous zubat can literally suck you dry. It is important to stay very hydrated, always pack water, and possibly some electrolyte drink powder. You don't want to wake up in the hospital because you got dehydrated and passed out until some camper found you half-dead with your pants off.

I have heard rumors, but cannot confirm, that zubats take particularly well to something called an "anthro-ball". Rumors circulate over these mysterious pokeballs that can change a pokemon's physical characteristics to reflect human characteristics. However, these are just rumors and certainly such a rare device wouldn't be obtainable outside of a science lab, and certainly not fabricated among certain circles of custom pokeball enthusiasts. I'm sure it's all baseless rumor.

Bonus Points
No one is going to assume that you are fucking your zubat. Despite their existence as living mouth fleshlights, zubats are not assumed to be a sexual pokemon. If you see a trainer who is sporting a delphox, a gardevoir, a salazzle, and three eeveelutions, you know what's up. In certain areas of the world where pokefucking is either frowned upon or even illegal, a zubat isn't going to turn heads. This makes it a perfect sleeper agent for the aspiring pokefucker. Even two or three zubats aren't going to draw as much stares as the guy walking around with just one absol.

In Summation
Trainers who have a sufficient enough bond with their zubat will find that they are in possession of an eager little fleshlight capable of sucking them until they have nothing else to give. Yes, zubat is considered a weak pokemon, but it is one of the best stepping stones to that pokemon harem you've always dreamed of. Properly trained up, it is not only a companion capable of holding its own in a fight [especially if you take it down its evolutionary line, crobats have their place in Tournaments and certain Gym Battles], but one that is more than capable of tending to your sexual desires and will remain happy even as you expand your harem of adoring pokewives. To me, that is pretty amazing for a pokemon that can be caught without a starter. Go catch a zubat today, you degenerates.

Thank you for listening to my presentation. Again, I am Professor Princewood, and I hope you'll all join me for the next presentation of Underrated Pokemon for Aspiring Pokefuckers, a guide to fucking pokemon outside of the ones you already want to fuck.