Phanpy-anon and /pmdg/ in Treasure Town

Note for future readers: Much of this story was written during the first few threads of brainstorming, before a location for the guild was picked. The follow up stories to this spend some time bringing Phanpy's team into the same location as the rest of the guild.

Chatot paced back and forth in front of my Guildmaster's desk.

"I've gone through this month's accounts, and I've noticed that there's been a sudden decline in requests." said Chatot.

The Meowstic shrugged nonchalantly. "Slow month?"

Chatot shook his head. "It just so happens to coincide with your group's arrival."

"My apologies if we've inconvenienced your guild, especially after you've taken us in." said Meowstic. "I hope we aren't driving away business."

"Driving away? No. I believe something else is going on. Dugtrio has sworn to me that someone has been tunneling through the guildhall. Perhaps they could have pilfered a few requests when his back was turned?" asked Chatot, stopping his walking to look questioningly at the Guildmaster. "Maybe that Linoone of yours is responsible?"

"Why would he need to steal the guild's work? I believe he makes a tidy sum as a courier. In fact, he's one of the few of my entourage that are gainfully employed." replied the Meowstic.

"It isn't for his own sake." Chatot leveled an accusatory wing at the Guildmaster. "I hear more than you think, Meowstic. I don't know why your Pokemon hate me so much, but they talk endlessly about the pay cut our guild takes. I've also heard them say you wanted to start your own guild."

"So you think I am responsible? asked Meowstic.

Chatot squawked indignantly. "I know you are. If this continues, I will see to it that you and your lackeys are thrown out of our guildhall!"

"I didn't know you could be so cold, Chatot. Who could throw their friends out into the cold, with nary a Poke to their name?" Meowstic glanced to his right, drawing our attention to the closed door of Guildmaster Wigglytuff's office.

That caught Chatot off guard. "Y-Yes. Well. I would be willing to overlook this." Chatot paused to compose himself. "On one condition."

Meowstic titled his head. "And that would be?"

"If your Pokemon insist on performing guild jobs, they must pay us our cut. We already provide you with food and lodging, so it's only fair."

"I'll talk to them and see what I can do."

Chatot slammed a wing on the desk. "I need your guarantee! Do you know how much food you all eat? All the gummis and berries? The Guildmaster insisted we give you the same quality of food our recruits get, and with all these extra mouths we can't even break even!"

Meowstic put his paws up in a pleading gesture. "I get it, I get it. I'll get you your cut. Just don't expect it to be timely. You know how unruly we are."

"See to it that you do." Chatot snapped. He turned sharply and stormed into the Guildmaster's office.

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. After many of us first woke up on the beach a few weeks ago, Wigglytuff's guild took us in. They had the only building big enough in Treasure Town to house our entire group of humans-turned-Pokemon. We weren't officially a part of Wigglytuff's guild, we weren't a part of any guild. We were trying to raise enough money to found our own, but until then we had to stay on relatively good terms with Chatot.

Guildmaster Meowstic turned to me. "I think that went well. What about you?" he asked me.

I sighed. "Chatot didn't throw us out, but having to pay the guild's ninety percent cut will slow us down." I said.

"That's simple," said Meowstic, "Nobody has noticed Linoone-anon actually taking the jobs yet. As long as he gets them before they get posted, Chatot won't know the reward and won’t notice us skimming ten or a dozen percent off the top."

I would never get used to our new names. We had all spent years posting on anonymous imageboards, so nobody wanted to share their real name. Yet we thought using species names were too impersonal. On the beach we tried to come up with new names for each other. The first name taken was ‘Anonymous,’ followed by ‘Anon,’ then ‘Incognito.’ We scrapped the idea. After we had settled in at Wigglytuff's guild, sticking "-anon" to the end of our new species was our compromise. I hated it, but the Guildmaster insisted it would help build a sense of camaraderie. Most of us only used them when the Guildmaster was within earshot.

"It will still slow us down. It isn't like there's much else we can do to earn money. Linoone-anon and Treecko-anon are the only ones with regular jobs." I replied.

"Not much we can do about that, Phanpy-anon. Unless you can get those lazy gits to stop masturbating and get some work done." said Meowstic.

I rolled my eyes. "I can try. As if Treecko-anon isn't masturbating at work."

Meowstic nodded. "Well, hopefully someday we can get everyone a job they're as passionate about as he is about his. Until then, we should focus on the Pokemon that actually do work around here." Meowstic got up from behind his desk and stretched. His desk only really consisted of a counter from Chimeco's Assembly and a pile of hay on the floor. It was situated near Guildmaster Wigglytuff's office, underneath a window overlooking the ocean.

As the Guildmaster made his way to the ladder to the upper floors I picked up a knapsack with my trunk and slung it over my shoulder. I still missed having hands, but my trunk was almost as good. At the very least I didn't end up like poor Torchic. Without hands it was awkward climbing the ladders in the guildhall, but the steps were small enough that most Pokemon could make the climb unaided.

There were several floors to the guild. It was much bigger than we had expected. The guildhall had enough space to easily accommodate all of us, the guild apprentices, and their recruits. I shielded my eyes with my trunk once I finished clambering up the last ladder and emerged into the bright morning sun. Treasure Town was also bigger, with residential housing hiding between the shops and the beach.

Despite this, Sharpedo Bluff was still in the same place. We had decided to use it as a meeting ground for our exploration teams, away from Chatot's prying eyes. It was one of the first places we went to after the guildhall but found the place vacated. Whether the previous owner was in the guild now or had moved away, we didn’t know. There were several unfamiliar faces at the guild and none of us knew how to broach the subject.

When we entered Sharpedo Bluff, the exploration teams were already waiting for us. Linoone was sitting in the back of the room. His mail satchel was full of rescue jobs and wanted posters. He tipped his mailman’s cap towards us as we came through the doorway.

“Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.” said Meowstic. The gathered teams muttered various greetings in reply. I went around the room, collecting the guild’s share of rewards for yesterday's missions. It was a fifty-fifty split. I had argued that we should take more, but the Guildmaster was adamant on ‘keeping things fair.’

“Before we get on with today’s jobs, a quick announcement.” said the Guildmaster. “Chatot has gotten wise to our little operation. Going forward, he wants us to pay the guild’s fee.” There was groaning from the assembled teams.

A Chimchar shouted from the back. “We’re already giving you half our income, now we have to give ninety percent to Chatot? I’m not giving that useless bird a single red cent!” Pokemon nodded in agreement.

“Now, now,” said the Guildmaster, “Wigglytuff’s guild has been very kind to us. And Chatot doesn’t actually read every job that gets sent to his guild. I don’t believe it would be an issue if our burgeoning guild paid him some money out of our cut. You can all do what you please with your half.”

I raised my trunk in indignation. Meowstic spotted me. “Yes, Phanpy-anon?” he asked.

“Sir, we’ll be put weeks behind schedule. Even if that wasn’t the case, Chatot will know roughly how much we should be making.” I said.

“Did you know,” asked the Guildmaster, “that the exploration guild adds several exorbitant fees to every job? If, upon discovering we were unlicensed explorers, Pokemon refused to pay us the guild’s rate, I’m sure Chatot would be perfectly understanding. As for covering the loss of revenue…” he trailed off, smiling at me. “I do believe we’ve discussed that already?”

I knew what he meant. “Yes, Guildmaster. I’ll get to cracking the whip.” I said.

“Marvelous. It would be nice if everyone contributed to founding our guild.” With that, the Guildmaster motioned to Linoone. Linoone withdrew a stack of fliers from his satchel and spread them out across the floor. I took out my ledger and found an empty space near the door to sit down. Writing was another thing that had gotten harder in my new body. My trunk didn’t have the fine motor control that hands did, so I kept my script large and blocky. As teams decided on their day’s work they came up to me to claim their tasks. I penciled in their team names and the guild’s cut. I left room in the ‘debits’ column for Chatot’s fee.

Out of the corner of my eye I spotted a pair of Pokemon descending the staircase. They were leaning on each other like a pair of drunken sailors. It was an Eevee and a Riolu. Dark bags were under their eyes and they moved with a deliberate lethargy. When they walked by me I could have sworn I heard the Eevee muttering something about ‘still being sore from yesterday.’ Everyone gave them a wide berth. I avoided eye contact.

There was no end to the teasing Riolu got when we first arrived in this world. He faced endless questions about his fursona, his FurAffinity page, and from the lewder members, his red rocket. Eevee faced a similar hazing ritual, so while it was unsurprising that the two would commiserate, the jokes stopped being funny when they decided to form an exploration team and move into the same room. Nobody had ever caught them engaged in any salacious activities, but we all assumed that they were happening. They stayed up late every night and Eevee was constantly complaining about various injuries. One time, I had heard that Eevee managed to throw out his back, dislocate his tailbone, and twist an ankle. I shuddered, trying to block out the mental picture of what sort of depraved sexual acts could cause such injuries. Despite this, they were always on top of their work, if a little late every morning. That placed them pretty low on the list of Pokemon I would need to get into shape to make up for the shortfall caused by Chatot’s meddling.

I could mark down every team’s job on autopilot, so with that in mind, I began jotting down a list of all of the layabouts that loitered around Treasure Town on a blank page. Well, the layabouts that were formerly humans at any rate. Most of them could be drafted into exploration teams with varying levels of prodding. My first goal would be to drag them all back to the guild. Hopefully, I could trust them to assemble their own teams. I snorted. Fat chance. But that was future me’s problem.

My trunk began to cramp from all of the writing. I set my pencil down and looked around the bluff. Most of the teams were gone. Riolu and Eevee had entered their jobs and left without it even registering in my mind. Everyone else who remained was waiting to speak with the Guildmaster. I double checked my ledger. I had spoken with all of the teams. I slipped the book into my bag before walking to the center of the room to stand next to the Guildmaster, who was talking to a Chikorita.

“So you think he’s one of us?” asked the Guildmaster.

Chikorita nodded. “For the past few days, he’s done nothing but hit on the shopkeepers in Treasure Town. I don’t even know where he’s getting food.”

“A late arrival then? It wouldn’t be too hard to forage for a few days’ food.” said Meowstic. While most of us had woken up together at the beach, some humans had arrived before us. Some were still arriving. Some may even be on the other side of the continent. Guildmaster Meowstic wanted to keep tabs on all of the humans present in this world. Whether it was because he wanted to keep them from doing anything too outrageous or if he believed we were all brought here for a purpose, I didn’t know.

The Guildmaster turned to me. “Are you all set?”

“All teams accounted for.” I replied.

“Do you think you can take care of this? The human is a Cyndaquil. It shouldn’t be too much trouble. Consider it a trial run. When I’m done here I’ll meet you in front of Wigglytuff’s.” said the Guildmaster.

“I’ll do what I can.” I said.

…

It wasn’t hard to spot the Cyndaquil. He was leaning on the counter of Kangaskhan’s storage. She seemed like she was doing her best to ignore him and focus on the crowd of Pokemon going about their morning routines. I blended into a group of exploration teams getting their items from Keckleon’s shop. I strained my ears trying to listen to Cyndaquil.

“Hey mamacita, you’re looking as fine as ever!” he said. The skin around his eyes contorted. I believed he was trying to raise his eyebrows suggestively, but the effect was dampened when he couldn’t open his eyes.

“Ah… good morning.” said Kangaskhan. “Would you like to make a deposit?”

“Of course baby, I want to deposit my Onyx into your Cloyster.” he said.

“I’m sorry? I’m not sure what that means.” said Kangaskhan. She looked more confused than offended.

“You know, Lickitung your Cloyster a little before depositing my Onyx.” he replied.

“I still don’t follow.”

Cyndaquil rubbed the back of his neck in exasperation. “I, well.” he paused for a moment “I want to see your pouch.”

“You can already see my pouch.”

“Not that one, your lower pouch.”

At that point I had heard enough. Kangaskhan paused as the meaning of his words dawned on her. As I made my way through the crowd her face reddened in embarrassment and anger. Before things could get any worse I put my forelegs on the counter next to Cyndaquil.

“Everything alright here?” I asked.

Kangaskhan visibly relaxed. “You’re with those new Pokemon at the guild, right? This Cyndaquil is being a nuisance.” she said.

The Cyndaquil slicked the fur on his head back with one of his stubby arms. “Everything is alright now that you’re here. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, little lady?” he asked.

“We’re both men here. But it didn’t, if you must know.” I said.

He looked me up and down, then leaned back to examine my rear end. “Still would.” I heard him mutter.

“By men,” I said, “I also mean we’re both human. There’s a group of us living at Wigglytuff’s guild. You should join us.”

That caught Cyndaquil's attention. “Human? Oh, no, I’m sure you’ve mistaken me for someone else. I’ve just moved in from another town so I’m a new face around here.” he laughed awkwardly.

“Really? Where from?” asked Kangaskhan.

“Oh, uh. Paradise?” said Cyndaquil.

“Paradise? Where is that?” said Kangaskhan.

“It’s very far away, on another continent!” said Cyndaquil.

“You lived in Paradise? Not in Post Town? You must be a part of the guild there, then. You should stop by our guild, I’m sure the apprentices would love to hear about your exploits.” I said, trying not to smile.

“Sure, Sure. I-I’ll drop by later today. J-just let me finish my business here with the lovely Kangaskhan.” Cyndaquil stuttered.

“Of course. I wouldn’t want to impose.” I couldn’t hold back my grin any longer. “She is a big girl.”

He responded quickly, almost instinctively. “For you.”

For a brief moment Cyndaquil stood there, mouth agape. Realizing his cover was completely blown, he turned to run. I jumped, tackling him to the ground. Cyndaquil began kicking and thrashing, trying to throw me off of him.

“Alright, I’m taking you to the guild. Miss Kangaskhan, could I borrow some rope?” I asked.

Cyndaquil squealed, “No! No! I won’t do it! I won’t work for that tightwad Chatot!”

Kangaskhan approached us nervously from behind her counter, a length of rope in her hands. “I’ll try to hold him still, if you would tie him up, that would be lovely.” I told her.

“No! This isn’t what I meant when I said I wanted bondage!” said Cyndaquil. At this point half of the Pokemon in the market were watching the spectacle. With the help of Kangaskhan it only took a few minutes to restrain the Cyndaquil. I wrapped the end of the rope around my trunk.

Thanking the shopkeeper, I turned and made my way back to the guildhall. Cyndaquil sat on the ground, the rope wrapped around his torso. He made a trail in the dirt road as I dragged him behind me.

I stopped at the stairs leading up to the guild. I turned back to Cyndaquil. “You know you could make this much easier for the both of us by cooperating.” I said. In response, he stuck his tongue out to me. Fine. If that’s what he wanted to do.

I walked up a couple steps, feeling the rope go taut. In one motion, I jerked my head back. It succeeded in reeling in the Cyndaquil like a hooked fish. I winced at the sound he made when he slammed into the stairs.

“Ack! Okay, Okay! I’ll cooperate!” He shouted.

For a moment, I considered mercy. For a moment. “Don’t trouble yourself! Just sit back and let me do all of the work.” I said. I took a few more steps up the stairs as the Cyndaquil struggled to his feet. I yanked the rope again. Cyndaquil grunted in pain as he was thrown into the air and landed on the stairs again.

“Is this for saying that I still would?” asked Cyndaquil.

“Partly.” I thought for a second. “Mostly, yes.” I corrected myself.

I had to reel him in a few more times, but soon I had managed to transport the groaning Cyndaquil up the staircase. I wiped the sweat out of my eyes. Between the morning exploration team assembly and my conversation with Cyndaquil, it was now almost noon. I couldn’t see the Guildmaster outside. I assumed he had taken refuge from the sun in the tent above the guildhall.

Now that Cyndaquil was willing to cooperate, I helped him stand up. We walked over to the sentry grate. I stepped on it first. We waited in silence for the sentry to acknowledge our presence.

“Is Diglett not the sentry anymore?” asked Cyndaquil.

Ignoring him, I peered down the sentry post. The pit was too deep and dark to clearly make out the figure at the bottom. I could hear a faint shuffling sound. “Treecko!” I shouted. “If I hear you ejaculating to my feet again, I’m going to kill you!”

The sound stopped. “Oh! Uh, Pokemon detected! Pokemon detected! It’s Phanpy, and…” he paused. “There’s someone with you, right? I heard him shouting earlier. Get him to step on the grate.”

Cyndaquil snorted behind me. “At least I’m in good company.” He muttered. I glared at him as he walked over to the grate.

“It’s Phanpy and Cyndaquil! Phanpy and Cyndaquil!” said Treecko.

The gate opened, and we found the Guildmaster sitting by the ladder.

“I apologize for not meeting you outside, but the sun was getting to be unbearable.” said Meowstic.

“Not a problem at all.” I said.

“I see you brought the Cyndaquil. I also heard the racket you made getting him up here. And your conversation with Treecko-anon.” the Guildmaster remarked.

I could feel my face flush in shame. “I got a little carried away.”

“Yes. Please remember that these are your coworkers, not your servants.” Mewostic strode over to Cyndaquil and began untying him. “We all have our idiosyncrasies, the best we can do is work around the more uncomfortable ones.”

“There’s being quirky, then there’s being unprofessional. You’re too soft on everyone, Guildmaster. ” I said.

“I may be, though I would question if your methods would be better.” he looked at the now freed Cyndaquil, who was already showing bruises from the trip up the stairs. “I’ll show our new friend around. You should take a walk. Blow off some steam.”

“Sir, every hour we waste is another hour we have to spend at Wigglytuff’s guild.” I implored.

“That’s an order. If you must be working all of the time, then I believe Torchic-anon went to see the sunrise at the beach this morning. She hasn’t come back yet, so please make sure she hasn’t fallen in the sand somewhere.”

“But-” I tried to interject but Meowstic cut me off.

“When you finish that, I’m sure Totodile-anon is already drinking at Spinda’s Cafe. You can bring him back before he runs up another monstrous tab. Report back to me tomorrow.” With that, the Guildmaster turned away and led Cyndaquil down the ladder and into the guild.

…

Despite the sunny weather, the beach was deserted. I could spot a few Pokemon swimming out in the ocean. I took my time combing the beach for the missing Torchic, enjoying the feeling of the hot sand underneath my feet. If I were still a human, I would have been running for the water. I lifted my trunk to shield my eyes from the afternoon sun as I scanned the beach around me.

A few dozen yards away I spotted a heap of ruffled orange feathers lying in the sand by the waves. I called out to the Pokemon, “You still alive, Torchic?” The feathers mumbled something back to me. I wrapped my trunk around the Torchic’s torso and pulled her up. She was surprisingly light. Damp sand had caked into the feathers covering her face and front. Her tiny wings flailed wildly in an ineffectual attempt to clean her face.

“Here, let me.” I said as I walked down to the waves lapping at the shore. I dipped my trunk into the salty water and sat on my haunches in front of Torchic. I told her to close her eyes as I rinsed her with seawater. With a foreleg I scrubbed the sand out of her feathers.

“Thanks.” she said. “I’ve been lying here all day.”

“Don’t mention it.” I remained seated in the sand, listening to the waves and taking in the briny air.

After a long silence, Torchic spoke again. “If you don’t mind, could you walk me back to town? I don’t want to trip again and wind up stuck outside for the rest of the day.”

“Sure. Not like I have anything to do.” I stood up, shaking the sand off of me. “Lead the way.”

Torchic and I talked idly as we walked back to Treasure Town. I stopped when we reached the entrance to Spinda’s Cafe. Torchic quirked her head at me. “Drinking already? It’s barely afternoon.” she said.

“No, the Guildmaster wanted me to check on Totodile.” I replied. Torchic followed me down the stairs.

“Well I, for one, am parched.” she said. “I’ll buy you a drink if you want to stick around.”

“I’ll think about it.” I said, spotting a Totodile sitting at the bar. There was already a family of empty glasses around him. I took a seat beside him and Torchic sat on my other side. I sized up Totodile as Torchic ordered something from Spinda. Totodile turned to look at me, propping himself up on the countertop with one arm.

“Oh, hey Phanpy! Did the Guildmaster finally let you off the leash?” slurred Totodile. His breath stank of alcohol.

“He wanted me to check on you.” I said.

Spinda set a Torchic’s drink on the table. A metal straw stuck out of the glass. Torchic took a sip before speaking. “I was wondering about that. Meowstic usually sends someone… less important to check on us.”

“Less important?” I asked.

“You know, one of the other unemployable Pokemon. Someone like us.” said Torchic. “You’re our guild’s Chatot, there must be a better use of your time.”

I snorted. “Anyone with hands could do my job, and they’d probably be better at it.”

“Point still stands. You’re willing and able to do real work.” said Torchic.

“The Guildmaster told me to bring in a new arrival, a Cyndaquil. The new arrival was busy hitting on everyone in sight. I got a little carried away, and roughed him up a bit.” I held my head in my trunk. “Guess I’m unemployable too, now.”

Totodile slung an arm around my shoulder. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, buddy! Kick your feet up! Have a drink! Maybe share a little of the wealth.” He shook my knapsack, the Poke inside jingling.

“I can’t blow the guild’s money on drinks.” I said.

“Ahhh, fine. If you won’t spend the guild’s money, then I will.” Totodile tapped on the counter. “Hey Spinda! Another round of drinks for me and my friends here! Just put it on my tab!”

“The Guildmaster sent me here to get you to stop drinking.” I said. Spinda placed a glass in front of each of us. She began pouring different juices and liquors into a cocktail shaker. As she mixed the drinks she muttered something to herself.

“If Meowstic cared that much about Totodile’s tab, he wouldn’t pay for it.” Torchic’s straw made a slurping sound as she emptied her cup in anticipation of a refill. “Totodile can’t run up a tab if Spinda bans him from the cafe.”

“Maybe you two can get drunk in the afternoon, but some of us have work.” I said.

Totodile shouted directly into my ear. “What work? You said you were one of us now! I think that calls for celebration!” Torchic nodded in agreement.

“Getting fired isn’t a good thing!” I said.

“Oh please. You won’t get fired for one mistake. Even then, there’ll be something you can do.” said Torchic.

“Like what? I can’t fight, I can’t work with other Pokemon without beating them, I can barely even hold a pencil!” I said.

There was an uncomfortable silence.

I laid my head on the counter, watching Spinda mix our drinks. For a Pokemon that couldn’t walk in a straight line while sober, she was surprisingly nimble. She performed a graceful pirouette before slamming the shaker onto the bar. I sat up in surprise. “And it’s done!” she announced.

Spinda poured the mixture into each of our glasses. Torchic picked up her straw in her beak and dropped it into her new beverage. I stared at mine with a mixture of trepidation and temptation. Taking the drink would be like surrendering to that nagging voice in my head. The voice that wondered why I was here, why I was deadweight to the guild, why I was even pretending I did actual work. The voice that wanted to take advantage of the Guildmaster’s kindness and pass the days doing nothing.

But what was the alternative? Try and drag these two back to the guild? I already knew how that would turn out. Fuck it. Better a deadweight than a liability.

“How about a toast?” I proposed.

“To what?” asked Torchic.

“To being worthless.” I said.

Totodile raised his glass. “That’s the spirit! Cheers!” Our glasses clinked together. Totodile reached past me to grab Torchic’s cup and include her in the ritual.

"To being worthless." she said.

Spinda had concocted a sweet mixture of berries that did little to disguise the burning sensation it made traveling down my throat. I coughed at the sensation.

Torchic looked at me. “What, not a heavy drinker?”

“No. Not here, and not before here.” I said.

Totodile gave a toothy grin. “Don’t worry, you’re in good company. We’ll make sure everything goes smoothly, and get you back to your room at the end of the night.”

…

It was hard to keep track of time without a watch, without a phone, and while hopelessly drunk. Spinda was unphased by how late we stuck around, apparently used to Totodile’s benders. She was even nice enough to help us navigate the stairs out of her cafe and point us in the direction of the guild. Totodile and I supported each other as we attempted to navigate the treacherous stairs, the ones that refused to stay still whenever I looked at them. Torchic was light enough for me to carry on my back. One of her talons clutched my knapsacks’ strap and the other dug into my back. Between the pain in my back and the uneasiness in my stomach, it was hard to focus on both keeping my balance and making progress.

After what felt like hours, we had finally summited the hill. At the peak, and in the tent sat Chatot. He watched us with one bleary eye. If he was disappointed in me, or judging me, I wasn’t in the state of mind to know or care.

After slipping through the front gate, getting down the ladder was easier. It was less of a climbing exercise and more of an exercise in falling gracefully downwards. My room was on one of the lower floors, but closer to the ladder. We collectively decided that it would be best if we stuck together instead of leaving someone to wander the halls at night. When we stumbled into my room, I did my best to gently set Torchic on the floor. I slung my knapsack in the corner of the room as the other two kicked the pile of hay that was my bed into thirds. I was asleep as soon as my head hit the floor.

I woke up to a splitting headache and a pounding at my door. I slowly sat up. My compatriots were glaring at me, as if it was my fault they were woken up. I trudged to the door and opened it. Guildmaster Meowstic was waiting behind it.

“Good morning Phanpy-anon. I apologize for waking you so early, but I do need the ledger for today’s explorer assembly.” he said.

“Oh! Guildmaster! Good morning! I’ll get it right away!” I tried to run to fetch my knapsack, but I stumbled as I felt a sudden wave of dizziness.

“Don’t overexert yourself. I just needed the door open.” said Meowstic as he plucked up the bag’s strap with his telekinesis and dragged it across the floor.

“R-right. Well, lead the way.” I stammered.

“No need. I’m giving you the day off to recover from your,” he paused, “adventures last night.”

“I already missed half of yesterday, I can’t just take another day off.” I said.

“You’ve been overworking yourself. Besides, I think it would be good for you to socialize with the other guild members some more. It’s easy to be out of touch with the rest of the guild when you spend all day holed up in the guildhall.” he said.

I massaged the back of my head with my trunk, trying to alleviate the migraine. “If that’s what you say. I’ll work on getting more of our Pokemon into exploration teams.”

Meowstic held up a paw to stop me. “I’m putting that project on hold, for now.”

“Sir, I can do it. It won’t be a problem.” I said.

“Not as you are now. I’m reassigning you. I want you to form an exploration team with your two friends over there. Be ready to report at the assembly tomorrow.” said Meowstic.

I pleaded with the Guildmaster. “Only Totodile can survive in a dungeon! I can’t fight, and Torchic can’t even get up if she falls over! Paperwork is the only thing I can do!”

Guildmaster Meowstic nodded along as continued to list out every reason why I couldn’t join an exploration team before responding. “I see your point. In that case, I will also assign Cyndaquil-anon, the one you met yesterday, to your team. It should help your team as a whole, and be a good exercise in mending fences for you.” After a moment of silence the Guildmaster added, “and if it means so much to you, I don’t mind letting you continue to perform ledger duty.”

Before I could continue to protest, the Guildmaster gently shut the door and disappeared down the hallway. I collapsed back onto my hay pile.

“So much for being unemployable.” muttered Torchic.