Life in the Anthrostate: B-Sides

Another day, another assignment. Well, assignment attempt, you should say. It's the second of January and a new year means the beginning of a new term of mate processing here in the Anthrostate.

It's been just over half a century since every human nation on the planet had capitulated to the invading Anthro occupation forces. Where they came from, nobody could say for certain, but it only took a few decades for them to install their own form of government across the entire globe. At least, that’s what your school textbooks had told you.

The enslavement of the human race happened way before your time. You've never known a world that existed without Anthros. It's hard for you to complain, really, considering how good your quality of life is as a human. There have been plenty of papers published by both Human and Anthro scholars alike detailing the various benefits of the Anthrostate over the archaic ways of old Human civilizations. With their superior technology, they were able to easily solve many of the world's problems that had plagued Human civilizations for centuries. For the first and possibly the only time in Human history, the entire world was united under a single flag. Employment across the globe was at an all time high, medical advancements allowed all humans to live long lives without the fear of terminal diseases, widespread improvements to food production meant that nobody would ever go hungry, etc.

But all of this, of course, came at a price.

Turns out, the Anthro society is predominantly matriarchal. Male Anthros were EXTREMELY rare, to the point where the Anthro society couldn’t rely on reproduction from their own species to perpetuate their numbers long term. As a result, they turned to Human males.

By law, Human males are required to have a female Anthro mate assigned to them at a certain age. Female Humans are still around, but their numbers are dwindling more and more every decade due to breeding restrictions. Essentially, the States only usage for Female Humans is to give birth to more male Humans for the sole purpose of courtship to female Anthros. As it also turns out, when impregnated by a human, Anthros predominantly just spit out more female Anthros most of the time.

Anyways, you don't know how or why all of this happens, you just live here, and you’ve learned not to ask too many questions.

But to circle all of this back around to today, the second day of the new year means that the State Office of Human Relations is back open and is once again going to try and assign you to a mate.

That would normally be a problem for you, considering that you’re not really into women.

But fortunately, you have an ace in the hole.

The State has been trying to assign you for years, but you’ve managed to slip through the cracks every single time thanks to your friend at the SOHR.

You see, you’ve managed to befriend one of the only male Anthros in the entire county, and luckily for you, he works at the SOHR. A lost record here, change of system information there, and he manages to keep you off of the eligibility list year after year.

It’s a dangerous gig, what you have going on with him. The State takes courtship VERY seriously, to the point where if they ever figure out what’s going on, he would probably land himself in prison for the rest of his life. He’s risking everything to keep you out of the eligibility pool.

You owe him more than you could ever imagine.

So today, you think you’re going to do something nice for him.

See, you can’t actually hang out much outside of work. Doing so could easily implicate him for his crimes. As such, you guys don’t actually have each other's phone numbers or contact info. You only communicate via his work email and in person, and only when it’s related to your assignment.

But, as he is your dedicated assignment officer, he has to evaluate your living situation per standard assignment protocol. You know, to make sure you’re “proper mate material,” or whatever.

It started off innocently enough. During his first evaluation, he arrived at your apartment to evaluate you. Asked you questions, evaluated your living space, shit like that.

But as the two of you got to talking, it turns out that you guys actually had a ton in common. You spent hours talking about all sorts of shit, from music to movies to tv shows to video games. It was amazing, but sadly he had to get back to work and eventually finished up his report and left.

The two of you had made this a yearly thing, and in one of his visits he let slip his true feelings about the State.

He wished that he could have a human of his own, but the state forbade him from taking “valuable resources” away from the female Anthros. In turn, you told him about your sexuality and how you didn’t want to be assigned. And that’s when the plan was devised.

Anyways, this all basically started when you were about 20 or so. It’s been about five years since then and nobody has discovered your charade.

As a token of your appreciation, during his one and only visit this year, you’ve decided to treat him to a nice dinner and a movie.

Now, of course you couldn’t actually take him to a restaurant or a theater considering his visits are technically on the clock, but that doesn’t mean that the two of you couldn’t enjoy each other's company within the privacy of your apartment.

Anyways, you grab your coat, gloves, and a folder containing all of your required documents and head out into the city.

It's a cold January morning. The snow is bad enough, but the wind stabs you down to your very bones. The snow crunches beneath every step and your boots leave imprints in the snow as you walk down the sidewalk.

It's a quiet morning. Every once in a while, a car will pass by, causing the road noise to reverberate off of the sleek metal and glass buildings around you.

Luckily, the bus stop wasn't very far from your apartment and you managed to make it before your ears froze off.

The bus stop was heated, fully enclosed, and contained a display which tracked the exact location of every bus in the county. A beautiful display of public transit, courtesy of the State.

You didn't have to share the bus stop with anyone, thankfully, and your wait was very short. As you looked out of the glass bus stop enclosure, you could see your chariot approach in the distance.

The vehicle was one of those long accordion buses that was split into two sections with a flexible section in the middle, sort of like a train.

As the door opened, a large female bear anthro sat at the helm, looking rather upset to be awake and at work on this cold Tuesday morning.

You scan your bus pass and step on, evaluating the best place to sit.

The bus was pretty full, packed with all manners of Anthros. Some of them were traveling with their Human mates, men pressed securely up to their large feminine frames. Others were alone, eyeing you up and down as you walked by.

Towards the back of the bus was a group of large female Hyenas, licking their lips and laughing that creepy Hyena laugh as their gaze settled on you.

You definitely won't be sitting anywhere near those freaks if you could help it.

You eventually come across a tiger Anthro next to an open window seat. She immediately perks up when you stop in front of her.

“Hey little man, need a seat?” She says

“Yeah, if that one’s open,” you say, trying to be polite while pointing to the obviously open seat next to her.

“Of course, I've always got a seat reserved for handsome humies like you,” she says with a husky voice.

She stands up to make room for you in the window seat. She towers above you, almost seven and a half feet tall if you had to guess, looking down at you with the hungry eyes of a predator as you scoot past. Her substantial bust and muscular frame takes up the majority of the aisle and you’re pretty sure she positioned herself in such a way where you’d have no choice but to rub yourself on her just to get past.

“Uh huh, thanks,” you say nonchalantly as you slip into your seat.

Before she got a chance to talk you up, you shoved some earbuds into your ear and looked out the window.

You could see her annoyed frown in the window reflection as you continued to ignore her.

You watched the cityscape roll by as the bus weaved its way towards your destination. Various Anthros and Humans came and went as the bus collected and dropped them off at their various stops along the way. The snow continued to come down softly outside the bus and coat the city in a pristine white blanket of fluff.

Eventually you reached your stop and quickly dismounted, not wanting to risk getting trapped by that Tiger on your way out.

You take out your earbuds and slip them into your coat pocket, along with your phone.

You find yourself standing before a sleek modern building, much wider than it is tall, with a large granite sign that labels it as the “State Office of Human Relations - 15th Ward Branch.”

Yup, this is the place.

You walk inside, and the whole place is extremely reminiscent of a DMV. There’s a large waiting area filled with benches and chairs, along with a row of counters towards the back.

You see a few Humans littered around the waiting area, none of them really sitting next to each other.

You take a number from the ticket counter and grab a seat.

It wasn’t long before you're called to one of the counters at the back. You enthusiastically trot over to the counter, putting on a show to fake your excitement at the idea of getting a mate.

You smile at the older cow anthro behind the glass, sliding your folder underneath.

She returns the smile, adjusting her glasses in the process.

She opens the folder and skims through it before typing something into her computer.

“Ah, Mr. Anon Y. Mous, is it? Looks like you have an appointment with one of our evaluation specialists today…” she says.

You go through this same spiel about what an evaluation entails with a new Anthro worker every single year. This place must have a crazy turnover rate considering how, even though you come here relatively often, you’ve never seen the same Anthro at these counters.

She turns away from her computer and gives you a sympathetic look.

“Aw, honey, it says here that it’s your fifth time being processed… Just have faith in the system, sweetie, our specialist will get you a partner, don’t you fret!”

You try your best to fake a tired but hopeful smile.

“Thank you, miss,” you say. “I’m trying to stay strong. I’m hoping there’s at least one woman out there who’ll take me…”

You put on the act just to be as believable as possible. Don't want to raise any suspicion, after all.

Just as you finish your whole shtick, you see the double doors on your right open and a rabbit anthro, dressed in business casual office attire, steps into the room.

If it weren’t for the fact that you two had already met, you would assume that this was just another female State representative. She had beautiful pitch black fur that almost glistened in the fluorescent light, along with a short, boyish tuft of hair perched neatly on her head, in between two floppy ears that were hanging limp down behind her head. She was lean and had quite the athletic build, with a set of wide hips that curved into a pair of plump thighs.

Although you knew better. This wasn’t a “she” at all, it was a he. The thing that gave it away was his height. He was about as tall as you are, which was incredibly short for Anthro standards. Adult female Anthros stood at a minimum of 7 feet, with some even reaching as tall as 9 feet. While rare, it was always easy to identify a male Anthro in the wild because of their height discrepancy, as well as the lack of the inhuman strength that their counterparts seem to possess. Other than that, they still have the same womanly shape, but are significantly softer in terms of their muscle mass to body fat ratio.

Genetics, man. You don't know how that shit works.

Anyways, the cow anthro looks over to your friend and then back to you.

“Oh, that was fast! This will be your representative, Mr. Éclair,” she says, motioning to the bunny.

He walks over to you and greets you with a knowing smile.

“Don’t worry, Wendy,” he says. “I’ve worked with Mr. Mous in the past. I’m determined that this time we’ll get him through!”

Wendy puts her hands together and offers you another motherly sympathetic smile. “I hope so! This cutie deserves a wonderful wife. Good luck, you two!”

You offer her a quick thanks and then follow the bunny back into the office.

The offices behind the double doors were the same as they had been last year. Walls lined with small private rooms for Anthros higher on the totem pole, while the regular run-of-the-mill office fodder were resigned to setting up shop in the maze of cubicles that sprawled out across the center of the room.

Various Anthro women came and went, either turning their attention or giving you a side eye as you walked past.

“Please don’t call me Mr. Éclair, that was my father. Wendy is the only person in the office to call me that…” the bunny says from over his shoulder.

“Oh don’t worry, I like ‘Sammy’ better,” you say.

He chuckles. “So do I.”

Eventually, he leads you into a small secluded office, probably double the size of a broom closet, and closes the door behind you.

You take a seat in a chair opposite of his desk while he rounds the corner and sits down as well.

He gives you a warm smile and sighs.

“It’s good to see you again, Anon. How have you been?”

“Oh, you know. Livin’ the dream. Waking up, going to work, coming home, going to bed, repeating,” you say sarcastically.

Sam gives a short laugh. “Yeah, you and me both, buddy. Those girls at work still giving you trouble?”

“Nah, they got shitcanned ages ago. They were caught fucking the brains out of this dude in the bathroom. His wife was pissed, came to work the next day and started this huge fight in the parking lot while they were getting walked out. It was a total blood bath, took four cops just to pull them off of each other.”

Sammy rolls his eyes.

“God, learn some self control, ladies,” he spits. “Well, I suppose the good thing is that they won’t be bothering you anymore.”

“Yeah, all my other coworkers are fine, it was just those two that wouldn’t get off my back,” you say with a shrug. “But whatever. How're you, dude?”

Sammy looks to the side with a melancholic half smile. “Oh you know, I’m doin’ ok. Boss keeps making me work an ungodly amount of overtime. Otherwise, same as you.”

“Sounds like you need some excitement in your life,” you say.

“Haha, I don't know if I’d say that,” he says, leaning slightly askew while resting his chin in his hand. “It’s just, dedicating my entire life to making sure Humans get a nice partner is leaving me kind of… jealous, I guess. I work my ass off for this stupid agency and what do I get in return? Nothing. Money, sure, but I can’t buy my own human!”

Now's your chance, Anon! This is perfect!

“Weeeell… I think I know how to make you feel better. We gotta do the whole “home inspection thing today, right?” You say with a sly undertone.

“We do… What do you have planned, Anon?” He asks, widening his eyes and sitting back up straight.

“I hope you didn’t watch that new Star Wars show that came out the other day, because I was hoping that we could have a short little TV date with some Chinese takeout!”

Sammy was absolutely beaming, his ears were standing up straight and you could see a blush creep over his cheeks.

“Wha- I havent but- Anon, are you sure? With me?” He says in utter disbelief.

“Of course! I owe you the world, Sammy. Plus, we only see each other, what, once a year? I'd love to spend some time with you outside of work,” you say with a warm smile.

Sammy balls up his handpaws and looks like he’s about to jump out of his seat in excitement.

“Yes! I’d love to, Anon! God, that sounds so nice right about now! C’mon, I’ll grab my keys and drive us over,” he says, practically jumping out of his seat to grab his coat.

You can’t contain your smile and you stand up, grabbing your folder as well.

“Careful now, don’t wanna get too excited. You definitely don’t want anyone getting any ideas,” you warn.

Sammy sticks an arm through his coat before turning back to you.

“Right, good call, Anon. Lemme just…”

He doesn't finish his sentence before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. “…professional mode, Sammy. Professional…” he mutters to himself.

When he opens his eyes again, you can see the excitement in his face is much more subdued, and he’s back to simply just smiling.

“After you, Mr. Mous,” he says, opening and holding the office door.

“Why thank you, Mr. Éclair,” you say with a smug smile.